I woke up this morning feeling iffy...went into work and slowly started having a bit of back pain which turned into a full blown crisis by lunchtime. I was in so much pain that I was in tears when I told my manager I had to go. I don't know why I started crying...I was so angry, frustrated and a little embarrassed.
I work so hard to put in extra hours and show that I am dedicated to my job but sometimes it feels like missing work all the time because I'm sick just undermines all my efforts. Should I even bother with full-time work?! I wish I had some sort of talent that I could make use of to start my own business or something...but I'm just as plain as it gets!
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mn_100
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Hi Mn, does indeed sound frustrating. However what brought on this latest bout of crisis? Are you taking care of yourself, you already mention you put the extra hours in, is this having an adverse affect on your health, not the work itself but the extra you are putting in, it would affect all sorts of elements such as self care, sleep patterns and treatment compliance.
I would strongly suggest you take a look at your regimen for hydration, nutrition and infection/inflammation prevention. Also visit your health professional to seek some advice on this.
I understand that you may want to start a business of your own, but make sue you are well enough before undertaking such a move as the last thing you want is for your service users or customer base to be affected by potential crisis leaving you at risk and adding to your stress.
And most importantly you need to establish if these crisis' are persistent and whats's causing them, maybe a diary of your days, including fluids, activities, sleep times/periods, medication slips and food intake, to see if there's a pattern as the onset of crisis can have long term issues for you quality of life.
Also you didn't mention if you have sickle disorder or are a carrier and also whether you needed to be hospitalised as SCC needs medical intervention to treat and remove. Also are you compliant with any preventative treatment?
I am really sorry that happened to you, an almost identical situation happened to me at work as well. I understand your feelings of frustration and embarrassment even though being sick is not your fault, it still feels like it is.
Sometimes these situations might happen try to listen to your body when you are feeling iffy and I know that sometimes it doesn't materialise into a full blown crisis and you start feeling you overreacted because of a little pain whereas other times it's a warning of what is to come. The difference between the two can sometimes be hard or even impossible to tell. That is the nature of sickle-cell.
But we try anyway because we don't want to give up and nor should we.
You are not plain, you are a sickle-cell warrior. Don't ever forget. Get well soon.
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