UPDATE ON THE UPDATE 😄: Right after I first updated this post my oncologist finally called me! (She must've got an itchy ear lol). We had a long, detailed 45 min chat. She listened to me and relooked at scans etc herself while we talked. She answered all my questions. I will write another post later to describe my options in more detail - the pros and cons. It might be helpful for someone else some time. And now, do I still go for that 2nd opinion? Maybe. I did tell her I was talking with Penn this week (I'm just not sure how helpful it will be though without them having the scans themselves.)
UPDATE: Thank you all for your helpful and encouraging responses! I made headway today. Got one appointment for early next week. Also secured a phone call with onc at Penn/Abramson this Thurs, who has worked with me before (though she can only read reports, not see my actual scans. But I really like her so it will be good to hear her thoughts too). Meanwhile - still crickets from my current doc or nurse after yesterday requesting to discuss my current situation further. And THAT is a problem, in my eyes (I think you will all agree).
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So, my recent scans showed progression and "mild ascites" in the abdomen, neither good news, particularly that free fluid problem!
Today I left a message to speak to the oncologist, after her calling me Thurs night with the bad news. The office messaged back to me and broached the OTHER reasons I called, but not the need to discuss things with the doc. I called again and the office person literally made an attempt to skirt the issue by bringing up other things. This is the same office staff who seriously let me down with lack of communications during my previous need to change treatments (in January), which unfortunately co-incided with my long term, lovely oncologist mysteriously never returning from her Xmas holiday (and she still hasn't!), and subsequently at that time I ended up going a full MONTH without treatment as we played cat and mouse with severe miscommunications by them.
So, I made it clear that the doc had said I could contact with any more questions after I said I needed the weekend to process my new status and options. The office person said she'd "pass on the message" (in a tone that makes me think she wouldn't) and of course I never got a call back! This is their new norm. They are literally just setting to book me up for everything to take this treatment and showing no signs of making an effort for me to talk to the doc (I had requested an actual meeting when I called this morning)
So, I've got an echo booked for Friday (in anticipation of taking Enhertu) but my frustrations of the previous problems from January are resurfacing for me and make me concerned about my quality of care. I'm thinking of calling either Hackensack or Rutgers Brunswick tomorrow to see if I can get in quicly to have someone else review my scans and bloodwork. I see discrepencies which don't make sense to me and want to make sure before I plunge ahead with a potentially dangerous treatment.
Thanks for wading through this saga if you have, and, if you have any how-to suggestions of making speedy 2nd opinion appointments please share! I know I can't take too long. But how long is too long?! A week? 2 weeks? Argh, I hate this situation 😢