My greatest fear about dying

[PJBinMI]

...has been dying when our country (US) is so full of anger and divisiveness! The televised 1/6 committee meeting last night reassured me a bit that our democracy can survive. I have written notes to both Rep. Thompson and Cheney thanking them for their work on our behalf and also phoned the DC office of my own Rep. supporting his integrity and expressing disappointment in his decision to not run again. As I am sure many of you will understand, I was especially moved by the testimony of the Capitol police officer who suffered a brain injury and has not been able to return to work.

[NPmary]

I suffer greatly with despair regarding the state of our union. I am going to try to emulate your positive attitude take on the commission. Thank you, l needed to hear this. Mary

[CaveCreekAZ]

Politics and cancer…..Really 😐

[PJBinMI in reply to CaveCreekAZ]

The US Department of Defense has funded alot of bc research, as it is responsible for the health care of all active and retired military and their families. Congress votes on the budget for this every year. So politics and cancer do intersect!

[CaveCreekAZ in reply to PJBinMI]

I thought you were speaking to Jan 6 Pardon me

[PJBinMI in reply to CaveCreekAZ]

I was -- I really don't want to die while our country is so divided and our democracy is threatened by that. But alot about health care and medical research is entwined with politics. the bc advocacy group the National BC Coalition has pushed for bc research funding within the Department of Defense budget and nearly 10 billion has been allocated in about the last 25 years! We all benefit from that!

[Jessie55 in reply to CaveCreekAZ]

Not your prerogative to be rude

[Kdiet]

Have enjoyed this site. Learned a lot too. And most of all have appreciated it as a politics-free zone. I hope that does not change.

[CaveCreekAZ in reply to Kdiet]

Me too!

[Ilovehorses]

I don’t watch the news. It is made to make people worry and stress over things they really have no control over. Politics is the worst as each side portrays horror if their view is not the winning one Why not enjoy the life you have and not stress over things you can not control. Life is far too short to spend a minute worrying about man made stresses

[mariootsi]

I just hope that the people responsible for that horrendous day are all identified and pay a price for their actions.

[FloridaNYgirl in reply to mariootsi]

A much as I in total agreement with you, I do not believe this is the place for our political opinions.

[Threadsgirl]

I agree that this site should not be a political forum . I for one do not share your political views and cannot understand why they need to be expressed on this site. Do you have no other outlet? There are plenty of other places to talk about politics. This site for me is a positive way to deal with cancer, please do not change that.

[CaveCreekAZ in reply to Threadsgirl]

Agreed

[Hidden in reply to Threadsgirl]

I stopped regularly checking on this site after Sandra was unfairly attacked after generously answering dozens of questions to help folks better understand the medical facts.

This reminds me why I stopped checking in. PB is sharing her fears associated with dying. The board is designed to let us do that. Scolding her for doing so is unkind.

[Arisgram in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Well said.

[hdhonda]

It's so sad that we have domestic terrorists. Assault rifles are weapons of war. No one should have one except military in active war. Prayers for everyone and God's guidance are needed. Blessings for all, Hannah

[JeniMcC]

Hi Everyone,

I was comforted by this statement, made in The Power of Myth, a series that I listen to for insight often while navigating the path of chronic illness. Joseph Campbell is one of my favorite people--a scholar, a teacher, a world renown expert on myth and the Hero's journey and beloved soul. This is from one of his conversations with Bill Moyers, circa 1988, when he was dying of cancer. I hope it brings you comfort, as it did me, as I thought of how it related to the turmoil in the U.S. and how to deal with so many of the things we are all dealing with on top of cancer. You can find the 8 part series on YouTube, I'm sure:

“Illuminated Beings, like the Bodhisattva, realize their identity with eternity and their participation in time. The attitude is not to withdraw from the world when you realize how horrible it is, but to realize this horror is simply the foreground of a wonder—and come back and participate in it. All life is sorrowful—and IT IS (sorrowful). It would not be life if there weren’t temporality involved, in which is sorrow, loss, and multiple losses. No one intended it this way, but it is the way this is. The way to awake from the horrors of life is not to be afraid to recognize that this is as it has to be and is a manifestation of the divine presence in the world .

The end of things is always painful, and without pain, there wouldn’t be any life at all. It’s a wonderful opera – – but it hurts. It’s like the saying, “Is this a private fight or can anybody get into it?” This is the way life is and the Hero is the one who can participate in it decently in the way of Nature – – not in the way of personal revenge, rancor, or anything of the kind. ”

—From The Power of Myth, Joseph Campbell with Bill Moyers.

Many Blessings to you All!

Jeni

[Claireperth in reply to JeniMcC]

Thanks for sharing that! My mother dies of pancreatic cancer, my younger sister died of liver cancer last year, I have MBC and now my father who has terminal prostate cancer is having volountary euthanasia on August 15. Do you know of short piece that I could share with my father and two younger brothers before he goes to sleep on that day? Kind regards Claire

[JeniMcC in reply to Claireperth]

Hi Claireperth, What a challenging time for you and your family, and so many losses you have experienced with your mother, sister, your own ambiguous loss, and now your father. His coming death is such a personal moment for you to have to prepare for--so much depends on what you would like to say, what he has meant to you all and how you would like to send him off on his journey. I have been at the bedside of many people in their last days, and it is a lot of playing witness to them and to the family. I can tell you that the energy of that time is almost identical to birth. There is a beautiful Tibetan Prayer that I love that goes, "May you be at peace, May your heart remain open. May you awaken to the light of your own true nature. May you be healed, May you be a source of healing for all beings."

Does he have a poem or prayer he would like you to read to him as he is passing? Has he already given you all any instructions for his passing? This is such an important event for you, I would pose this as a separate question to the MBC group, so it is not lost in a thread. Let me know what you think.

Hugs to you!

JeniMcC

[Claireperth in reply to JeniMcC]

Thanks so much, I think the poem is perfect! Could you please tell me what separate question I should ask the group? Kind regards Claire

[JeniMcC in reply to Claireperth]

Hi Claire, since there are so many people who have thought through how they would like to plan their last moments in this group already, I would post an open question about how people have planned for their last moments, and ask them to please share some of the prayers, poems, and readings they would like to share, even music or plans they have made for their memorial services. Let them know that this is for your father, and about your losses. If you can't ask this question here, I don't know where you could ask it. People are so open and supportive with this type of information. You'd be doing the entire MBC board a service. Many Blessings! -Jeni

[Claireperth in reply to JeniMcC]

Ok many thanks for your kindness and advice! Cheers Claire

[Hidden in reply to JeniMcC]

Wow! Just amazing! Thank you so much for sharing!!

[CaveCreekAZ]

Hi! Agreed, there’s a place and time for everything. Here and now is not it. Can you believe how fast it got soooo hot 🥵 Prayers for Gods peace and healing all over you and yours ❤️

[Adele_Julia in reply to CaveCreekAZ]

Ditto ! Trust this heat wave passes soon. Blessings to you and yours as well. Nice to meet a fellow Zoner (grin) . Stay in touch !

[PJBinMI in reply to CaveCreekAZ]

My husband was covered with sweat every time he came in from outside yesterday and our dog cut her walks very short, not hehr usual routine at all.

[CaveCreekAZ in reply to PJBinMI]

Looks like it’s hot everywhere! Be well PJB and drink lots of water ❤️

[Pbsoup]

To those upset about this getting “political “ I agree with those who said that PB is expressing personal dismay and concern, not trying to make a political point.

The beauty of this board is if you don’t want to read a post, for whatever reason, you can scroll on by. There is no need to criticize or shame someone for expressing a thought.

There is a lot of ugliness on the world (although that’s been true since time began) and it’s perfectly valid—and very human, to reflect on that.

[ChrisVict]

I feel freedom of speech is critical for a democratic society. At the same time we have to reign in our conversation to the topic of cancer and how it effects our lives. Politics is a very complex forum especially what is going on today. I do not want this platform to divide us but it should provide support and exchange if information relevant to all our conditions.

[Andersl]

I totally understand. I'm concerned about what world my grandchildren will live in when they're older and that I won't be around to help them.

Believing good always overcomes evil helps me keep my spirits up.

Best wishes x

[Woodthrush]

i concur no need for others to be dismissive- ever.I have always valued highly your postings, i just haven't commented much and now sorry i haven't shown more support for your kind, informed and deeply felt responses to navigating the bumpy seas of MBC.

[TammyCross]

Yes that officer was striking; didn't know about her.

That you connect your concerns about the world to your dying is an inspiration. I find that I alternate between my political concerns, concerns for the world, the future of the planet (environment, child victims of war, guns, etc.) and total self-absorption about MY life, my cancer. I cannot hold both in my mind, it seems.

[LadyKatarina]

I do not know what everyone is complaining about. I did not think your post had anything to do with politics. What is political about following the law? About having morals? What a strange world we live in.

[LucyLooCO]

I find it sad that things outside of your control are your biggest concern about dying. What is your personal contribution and legacy is far more important

[Hidden in reply to LucyLooCO]

I think we can each best determine our own priorities and legacy. It is not “sad” but life affirming. It is not for any of us to judge how another sees her place in life.

[Hidden]

PJBinMI - Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom. I agree with what you are saying and have felt the same way. The world is so crazy right now, especially the US, I find it distressing.

I think it's very relevant to our disease/where we are as individuals right now. Just as I *wish* my children were more settled/stable right now, so I can die with greater peace, so do I wish that my our society were more stable. It all weighs on me, too.

I admire you taking action to promote a better society, i.e. to think beyond yourself to try improve things. I'll confess that I've not gotten out of my own head for a while, just despair and griping, but you've inspired me to do the same.

I'm hoping that I live....that we all live....long enough to see the sickness within our society heal a bit...

Best,

Lynn

[Contrarielle]

Yeah, the thing i most worry about is the world my grandchildren will grow up in and what sadness my sons might see. Life is tough for many.

[PJBinMI in reply to Contrarielle]

Yeah, our grandchildren's childhood is sure different than ours!

[Peggypilot]

Me too. Impressed by Liz Cheney’s straight talk. Need more like her. Sometimes, I wonder if the whole country has been hood winked by an evil being…so sad. I think though that it is important to focus on our lives and our interaction with others big and small. We can give so much by guiding those who are in a worse place and encouraging them with their disease and outcome. Best Wishes to all on this forum.