Out of options

Had scan results. Fulverstant doesn't seem to be working as tumors in breast and under arm have grown. Due to my heart problem and old age I do not think there is anything else I can try. My husband died while on chemo so I know how hard that is, Seems like the end of the line now. Any help as to what I can do? I don't want to be helpless and not being able to clean or look after myself. Can anyone give advice please?

[jersey-jazz]

Dear April Rose------Such a pretty name! I am so sorry for your loss. You say you are old. I too have that privilege. One of the perks of old age besides being able to express yourself freely and damn the torpedoes is that the cancer, supposedly. grows so slowly. You can give the treatments a rest if you want to and pick it up again as you wish. You can do whatever you want. If you cannot or do not want to clean, hire someone to do that for you. If you have little money, trade some else's labors for your expertise in knitting, cooking, storytelling or whatever. Surely, you have talents that you love to express. Do you have family and so who? I sense that you are at the end of your wits and your resources. Please get the help of some good hearts that can be with you. With a name like April you are probably born an Aries. You have the strength and the will to go forward there inside you. Please find it and try to smile little. We of the MBC bunch all have there horrid days like the one you are having, today. We understand and are here for you.Frances XXX OOO

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[Ursula_I in reply to jersey-jazz]

Thank you for this beautiful message to April.

[Bestbird]

I am sorry to hear you are looking at a treatment change. Have you been on Arimidex, Letrozole or Aromasin? They are generally easy to tolerate. And there is an oral chemo called Xeloda for which a lower dose can be as effective as the standard dose with fewer side effects.

[NPmary]

Find out from the doc if there is any treatment recommended. If you decide it's time for no more treatment please get comfort care/hospice let them know what's important to you. If you are really at the end getting chemo will be miserable not helpful.We are here for you. Wishing you comfort, peace and love.

❤🌺❤

[Karen2235]

Dear April Rose, so sorry to hear your news. I am in a similar position, I tried Anastrozole then Fulvestrant and Kisqali but they stopped working after just a few months. I also had a round of oral chemo (Xeloda) but that also failed to make a difference to the tumours on my chest and in my lymph nodes. I too feel as though I have run out of options. I am choosing not to try intravenous chemo as i want some quality of life. I fear for my future but embrace and find joy in the life I have had, I am 65.

[hdhonda]

Aprilrose,My hand is reaching for yours. You can hold on as tight as you like. I hope some strength and comfort will pass to you. Sometimes, when we get down a friend can pull us through and that is my hope. Blessings, prayers and hugs for you. Hannah

[jersey-jazz in reply to hdhonda]

hdhonda-----You have said it so beautifully and have said it for all of us.

[hdhonda in reply to jersey-jazz]

Thank you!!

[mariootsi in reply to hdhonda]

Wonderful post for all of us!

[8576]

Hi, I think I am old also. 81. I think you will be surprised at the treatment options available. I remember thinking I was at the end of my options but an oncologist assured me there were many more options. Maybe you can stay on the current treatment if the increase wasn't to big. Be sure and read Sandra's message over more than once. Good advice. You are dealing with a lot. Thinking about you and wishing you well,

Cheers, June S.

[pollymacchili in reply to 8576]

April Rose...thank you for sharing your story...it isn't easy to share these hard truths and painful feelings. . And thank you to those who replied with such kind, loving, good advice. Our thoughts and prayers and good energy vibes are being sent your way right now and in the days...or months...or years to come for you. You are not alone.

[Hidden]

Thank you so much Sandra your reply has helped a lot. I keep reading it and find comfort in your words.

[mariootsi]

Wishing you love and peace as you make the decision the is right for you! There are still options and new drugs everyday! Hang on and stay strong!

[Totheriver]

Sorry to read this. Thinking of you 💕

[SMPG]

What does your oncologist say? I am sure there must be other options, some which are easy to tolerate. It all depends on you, on what you want to do. But maybe there are people in your life who enjoy you and your presence.

[Hidden]

Hi April Rose. I love your name, it’s so happy. I don’t have any advice but please know we are all routing for you and are always here if you need some comfortClare

[viennagirl]

Dear Aprilrose,

I am also quite old - in January I will be 79. But, I still really want to live. And I think you do too.

You have reached out to us here at HealthUnlocked and that is really wonderful.

No one has a magic bullet but we all are in the same boat and want to heal. And the scientists also want us to heal and there is some research that might soon help us to get a cure.

I don't have any real answers so I will just offer up my feelings about healing. I am doing very well after two years on Ibrance and Letrozole and recently had scans that showed NED.

But mbc is still considered incurable so I am still living as if I am at risk. So I am praying and meditating and getting some exercise. It wasn't until I really asked myself the difficult question 'did I want to heal'. It took a little bit of deep delving into my problems to realize 'yes, I do want to heal'. At first I didn't know and death started to appeal to me. So I started to do some research. I did a lot of reading about cancer and I watched those You tube shows of people who live in the blue zones and how they are managing to stay healthy well into old age. One of the keys seems to be that they are connecting to lots of people and they smile a lot. Now I smile at myself in the mirror. And at other people too, of course..... Believe it or not it releases good healing endorphins.

It makes me so sad to hear that you feel that there is nothing left for

you to do. I really love the advice that Jersey-Jazz offered you. I

agree with her that spending time with family or friends will give you

strength to go on. If you have no family or friends nearby you could

perhaps invite a neighbour over and cook her/him your favourite food.

That is just a suggestion but maybe it would make you feel better. I

believe that my family and friends rallied around me when I opened up

and talked to them about my cancer. Their cheery faces made me want to

continue living.

We all get cancer for different reasons. My cancer, I believe was because of stress and not knowing how to handle it. And I never stood up for myself. People walked all over me. And I walked all over myself. I had to learn to change my whole perception of myself. I started by looking at old photos of myself as a kid. I saw a very happy, optimistic little face staring back at me. I said to myself, I want to get back to being that kid again. So I made some changes. I am now a more honest person because I express my feelings. It might not make anyone else happy but it seems to be helping me heal.

Yes, family and friends can make you want to live. You might not have anyone around you and if that is the case see if you have a senior center in your area. We have a wonderful one here in our little town. We even have a retired chef that makes awesome lunches for us about two times a week. The rest of the lunches are made by volunteers. The cost is minimal. The center offers so much cheer. There are painting sessions, yoga, dance, ukelele lessons, darts etc. And they often have dinners and music. It is just such a wonderful way to meet people and feel connected to the world. We have some 100 year old people at our center. Membership is reasonable at 20 dollars a year.

Once I decided that I wanted to live I did everything I could to get better. I bought a Wave Mat (on line business in New York) and started spending time on it. It is full of crystals that are supposed to give off infra read waves. And I started drinking lots more water. I had a big tumor on my right rib cage and within days it disappeared. I believe it was because I was taking action that particular tumor decided to take a hike.

Deep down inside your heart you want to heal. We all want to get better and if you go inward and talk to yourself you might find the clue for how to heal. The answer is inside of you. And it is an adventure. I think we are lucky anyway. My first husband died when he was 28 years old. It still shocks me to think that so many don't get to live long lives. So in many ways I feel blessed to have had so much life.

Your body/ our bodies are miraculous. I learned a lot from Joe Dispensa who has a book called "You are the Placebo". He said our body can heal us. He teaches how to tap into that healing force. I periodically listen to his meditation tape and I read his whole book. He and some other naturopathic doctors say we have an inner cannabinoid system that will fight cancer and other health problems we have. But we need to tap into it. We need to learn how to get out of the Beta system (it is the wave length we use for everyday thinking) and into the Delta waves and that takes meditation. There are deeper levels. than Delta but I think at Delta we can stimulate healing. Eastern yogis can go much deeper but I think we just need to get out of Delta waves to help us heal. And breathing techniques work too because I think they get us into Delta waves. Of course, there are not guarantees that anything cures but I am encouraged by all this information that I am learning at my old age.

I am sending you my heartfelt wishes that you find a path to healing. And the old adage that 'time heals' still comforts me. People can live to over 100 and still be healthy. We have time Aprilrose. Hugs Marlene

[RLN-overcomer]

Sister & yessssss warrior my heart goes out to you.🙏 Please don't give up fighting to be alive. We all go through health, and other challenges in life. Please reach out to (positive) supportive loved ones. I am such an independent person who helps others who need assistance, but when I broke my arm in 5 places rollerskating. I had to have loved ones move my car, shop for groceries, bring me prepared food, cut up vegetables/ fruits for me, and wash, and style my hair : ) . Here's the silver lining, I am now ambidextrous, which I hear really strengthens our brains. Can you join a senior center, most where I live have a pick up van /car service. They have so many activities bingo, chess, dominoes, Tai Chi, Yoga Zumba, line dancing, tech classes , and knitting/ crocheting classes. You can meet new friends .Also can you look into getting a referral for counseling😇 Please don't give up, rest, but continue to fight sister & yesssss (warrior).🙏😇 I send you many virtual hugs XoXoXo

[mudakurag]

Thanks once again Sandra for your caring, empathetic response.It helps all of us,I'm sure.I hope you are enjoying,too,the

beautiful Fall weather we are experiencing here in New England.Mary

[Timtam56]

Oh Aprilrose. I also nurse my partner, and with not very match help from his family at all. And now I’m facing the same thing and with my only daughter being anti vac, and untouchable. I am not facing the end of my road yet. like you, which must be so frightening. Do not underestimate that. But I just don’t know what to say to you. Apart from reach out. Reach out to friends that you love and trust and to palliative services. They are very good. And any family that you want to have around you. I know that when you love someone, you want to help them. People see it as a gift if they are asked to support someone they love. A lot of my friends have told me this. You don’t have to be alone. My heart goes out to you. ❤️