I’m on Ibrance and Letrozole for 7 months now. My dear boyfriend of 5 years decided to leave me 3 months ago because “ HE couldn’t handle it”. I stopped all the crying and stuff. But I’d say, the last 2 months or so I am soooooo tired. Even the stairs feels like I’m climbing Mount Everest. I have no appetite. I fall asleep @ 1:00 until 5:00. Then @ 8:00 again until @ 1:00 but have no desire to get out of bed or will to do anything.
Do you all think it’s the meds with the cancer or am I going through a depression here?
I’m already seeing a therapist and am on a heavy dose of anti depressants.
How do I get out if this rut?
Thanks 🙏 💕
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Annadm
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I’ve found it’s amazing how when things are not going well on our lives we can feel so incredibly tired. But when things turn around we seem to suddenly find energy again! It could be the meds but I bet having your life changed suddenly didn’t help any. Were you this tired after taking the meds for 2 months? What about 3 months in? Talk to your dr. Perhaps they could drop your dosage some and maybe they could also help with your depression Good luck to you and remember that we women are truly the stronger sex. Don’t let that wimp of a man do this to you. Show him you don’t need him!
You are certainly suffering a lot of sadness. I think it is okay to grieve but you will eventually have to tell yourself that you are going to be okay. Your illness is certainly complicating things but your callous boyfriend has really pulled the rug out from under you. But you are actually lucky to be rid of him and someday you will be happy that he is gone from your life. You now have a chance to take charge of your health and find happiness in new ways. Try to think of this as a new chapter. I know I am sounding naive but cancer can be one way to restructure our lives and find new ways to be happy. And maybe you will discover old ways to be happy too. What were you like before you met Mr. Ex? Sometimes a relationship can suffocate you. Now you can find a new way to live. You should definitely not be so tired and you do need to find ways out of that malaise. Anti-depressants might help but a kind and thoughtful therapist or a group of other women who are going through loss too could help you more than the drugs. At least that is what I think. I also think you should talk to your doctor about your feelings. You certainly need someone to help you feel hopeful again. I am now on cycle 16 of Ibrance and Letrozole and have had very few negative side effects. I have a bit of hair loss and that is a concern but it I still feel quite good and hopeful that I will be okay. I do get a bit tired sometimes but I accept that and everyone lets me just laze around. My husband and adult children are kind and helpful so that helps me. You have every chance to live a very good life even with your cancer. So many women on this HealthUnlocked site have good stories to share. I hope this helps you. Hugs Marlene
Thank you Marlene. I definitely wasn’t this bad before he left. I really didn’t expect it at all. I guess I just overlooked all the signs. I hope one day I find happiness again but right now I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel 😢
Hello and I am very sorry to read this. From what I gather, your tiredness and not wanting to do anything is related more to depression than the effect of Ibrance/Letrozole. Though it could also be a side effect of your heavy dose of anti-depressants. Do you have family or close friends who can be with you and talk you into doing something you would enjoy? Am I correct in thinking that your cancer is controlled? If so, you have so much to live for. Please don’t give up! I am going through so much in my life right now with brain Mets and other places of progression. I was losing weight and for a while entertained the idea that all was lost. But with prayers and positive energy and thoughts from our dear friends in this forum, I am slowly picking up my life and feel hopeful. I am slowly regaining weight, I am having my first radiation treatment tomorrow and hope that I will still have a few years left in me. Pray and trust in the Lord🙏
Thank you for responding. Yes, I have many friends who try to get me out of the house. I’ll say yes and then cancel on them. I don’t enjoy anything these days. Except praying. I’m convinced I’m going to die. I had a PET scan last Thursday and this Tuesday I see my oncologist for results. I just have this gut feeling that I won’t get good news.
I will pray for you that all goes well with your radiation but no doubt it will. God bless 💕🙏
Is anybody in the house with you for you to share a meal with? I am quite worried about you. Please know that although we are miles apart, we in this forum care. I will continue to pray that you may find peace of mind and that something will make you want to live again🙏❤️🙏
Yes. My mom is with me now. She cooks all my favourite foods but I’m never hungry. Poor her, she’s trying her best. She tries to get me out, even if it’s just for a walk. I’m surrounded by an amazing family. I guess it’s not the meds, I’ve just lost the will to fight. I’m tired of fighting.
As for that piece of garbage... it’s not him per say. It’s what he did and said that really hit me. He left during this horrible time in my life and to hear the words “I don’t love you anymore and I don’t see us lasting long together. Plus I can’t deal with your cancer”, just destroyed me. He might as well put a knife in my chest, it would’ve hurt less. He couldn’t possibly have loved me for a long time because you just don’t think of these things from one day to the next. Do you think he’d have the decency to ask me how I am? Nope. Nothing. I know he’s not worth it, I know I have to put all my good energy into fighting my personal battle. I know all that but I can’t see the light to empower myself.
Hopefully my PET scan results will be good. At least that’ll give me a reason to be happy and keep thriving.
I thank you with all my heart for your prayers. Because I truly believe in the power of prayer 🙏 ❤️
I think it can be a combo of both as some people can experience mood swings and depression from the meds and it can be amplifying the depression from the breakup and the diagnosis. Def talk with your oncologist, continue with therapy, prayer and be gentle on yourself. There are really really good free guided meditation on an app called Insight Timer that can help lead you towards more peaceful and empowering days ahead. Specifically there is a guided mediation called "Healing from Emotional Pain" by Kine Corde that I listen to every morning. It has been a life saver for me. I recommend it highly.
Hi, I am on the same medication and honestly, it does make you feel tired and down.
Seems there isn’t much stimulation in your life at the moment and when you are ill also it’s so hard to pick yourself up and dust yourself off.
With the virus surrounding us all right now life is restricted even for those of us with a near normal mindset. I have found relief in listening to music that I love and want to dance to and tending my veg and flowers.
We have an apartment in a City Centre so our allotment makes us go out as we know we have to tend everything.
It wasn’t a good thing that your partner up and left at a crucial point in your life when you needed him. Says a lot about him and to be honest he couldn’t have cared much for you in the first place. You are better off spending the time looking after yourself than worrying about him. You need to eat and try and think more positive.
I don’t know what accommodation you are in but try and grow some plants, put on some music, cook some nice food, have relaxing baths/showers, light some scented candles and place some lavender for relaxing around your space and some citrus smells for uplifting.
Maybe your therapist isn’t going the right way with you. There has to be a positive connection between you both.
Come on lovely, you can do this, forget bed, forget negative thoughts, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. It’s another day and a different mind set.
Keep posting, it will help you. We all know what it’s like. Best wishes
I do have a garden but I couldn’t care less about it. It looks like a jungle.
My family and friends are awesome inviting me everywhere, coming over but I don’t feel like going or seeing anyone.
Him? I couldn’t care less about. It’s what he did and said that destroyed me. Putting a knife to my chest would’ve hurt less because I hear his words over and over in my head. “I don’t love you anymore, but I care. I don’t see us being together long term and honestly I can’t deal with your cancer”. You’re absolutely right, of course he never cared. Do you think he’s asked me once how I am? Nope. Nothing. He told me he’ll call me on the 28th when I get my scan results. Bahahaha 🤣. I told him he lost the privilege to know when he dumped me. He couldn’t deal with it so why does he want to know? Because of his guilt? Screw him. He won’t know anything.
Ya know annadm I have a loving husband but I dont give a crap about the things I like to do because I have no energy.i try but I am so tired. I can't imagine having your trauma on top is unimaginal..i think there should be a dorm for us so we could keep each other going..i am praying for you and all of us!!
It’s morbid curiosity that made him say he would call. You are so right just to move on from him.
Your garden will give you so much pleasure. You don’t even have to work at it. Just sit in it amongst what you have, weeds, grass, crap of all sorts. It’s just good for your well being and away from bed.
It’s great you have friends that care. Get them around and have a beer fest or deweeding day in the garden. That will raise a few laughs.
I’m pissed off today. So fed up with the rain and wind. I know it’s Mother Nature but I wish she would give us a break. So for the 3rd day we haven’t been in the fresh air. I miss it so much. We do have a balcony but it’s not the same as getting out walking. Seems a sit and watch the Seagulls flying day. We have lots as we are near the river Mersey.
I hope you can feel better in yourself soon. Try not to get into a rut. I
As you know it won’t help with your illness.
Best wishes always
Cheryl
Hi Annadm,
Wow, I'm truly sorry for what you're going through...but so glad your Mom is able to help you through. (Nothing like a Mom's love, no matter how "grown up" we are...).
Not everyone is capable of loving, or loving well, and obviously your ex falls into that unenviable category. And not everyone is as strong as life needs them to be, but you are -- we all are -- even if we had to learn/find that strength precisely in response to what we're dealing with.
So maybe carve out a small piece of your mindspace to count yourself lucky that you are strong and able to love? I pity your ex and admire your ability to carry on...
And, goes without saying, you're better off without him...It's painful, I have no doubt, but it's probably better not to have someone around who's really not able to care/empathize.
Best wishes with the scans...I think the Universe owes you a good one!
Anna, I am so sorry to read your post! It's tough to go through everything at the same time. Everything, mind and body, be ones one big obstacle.
My first time around after my cancer diagnosis, I was also extremely fatigued and couldn't do anything for myself. My oncologist then asked me to at least once a day walk around my dining room table while holding on to the table and do this a few times. I made myself do it and strange enough, it did make me feel better; I accomplished something. Maybe this is something you may want and can try?
I'm sending you prayers for strength and good scan results! Hugs!
Anja
I wish I knew the answer. I’m not a doctor but having MBC and depression I can tell you it sounds exactly like I feel. Not being able to do much is something we have to learn to accept and to realize that the things we contribute to family and friends are special things like listening to them when they have a problem, making them laugh when they want to cry. The physical things we can no longer do aren’t important to those that love us. Now, understanding that and accepting it are two different things.
Have you had an appointment with your doctor lately as it’s always good to have things checked physically. The Mum in me tells you that you have to force yourself to eat something nutritious four times a day. It doesn’t have to be a huge meal but some fresh fruit and veggies and something for protein. Snack on them throughout the day but you have to eat my dear.
I’m here should you need to talk, DM me if you need a stranger to vent to.
Hi I was the same my husband Of 32 years left me after I had a stroke and he was vile 6 months later I got my breast cancer ..I cried loads .now I have cancer again but my children are older now and friends have been a godsend ..I'm having therapy too .how long has he been gone ? It's hard fighting this and then you grieving fir loss of your partner its slot to cope with on your own but I promise it will get better and your get stronger . I hope you have a good network of friends and family to support you ..as for drugs I'm not as bad as you but have fatigue
As I have lost all use of my arm and hand
That's the biggest challenge for me to adapt with one arm
Annadm so sorry to hear that you are going thru all this. I think it may be both; the meds and maybe depression. I know meds make me feel tired, sometimes very tired. Having a boyfriend leave is horrible, especially after 5 years; he is not meant for you. I was married 21 years before my ex decided to leave, it took a while before I felt kind of ok. Give yourself time, sending many hugs.
I am really sorry, the person who no doubt you thought was your rock has deserted you in your hour of need. That must be so hard. He clearly didn't get the ' in sickness and health' bit of relationships.
I've had Ibrance and letrozole for four months and have had none of these side effects but we are all different. I know depression sucks your energy. I'm glad you have a therapist.
When I was poorly before treatment I had sleeping problems and would often rest during the day. I was very stressed partly because of my health and having no idea what was wrong, so I would curl under the duvet and hide . But I used meditation and my hypnotherapy tapes which would refresh me and cleanse my mind.
Do you have friends or activities that lift your spirits.? That might help .
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Carolynx
I really feel for you. What an awful time you have been through. It sounds like you’ve had the wind knocked out of your sails.
I would approach this from both directions. See what your bloods say as you may be low in some area. Also see if you can find it in you to start living again. Is there anything you wanted to do that you didn’t do when you were with your boyfriend? Or take up a new hobby. I find if I don’t exercise I get very tired. I have to push myself but it’s always worth it - even a walk in the sunshine helps.
Hope you find your groove
Clare
Have you noticed any pattern to your fatigue? My wife is on Ibrance and gets more exhausted by week 3 when her red blood cells are low. Are your blood tests ok? Since she also has post-stroke fatigue it is very difficult for her to get out of bed some days. Her medication also causes anxiety for her. Hang on in there!
I’m sending some light and love your way. Lord I’m asking for a season of healing and restoration. I know you’re going through so much. Thank God for your mom and your other family. Enjoy them.
Just want to say so sorry for the pain and tiredness. I sure hope it will ease soon. So great that you have reached out to us here.
It does sound like you need a medication adjustment. Maybe see your family doctor.
The boyfriend did you a favour by leaving! He has more problems than you do. Lots of good advice and support already posted here. Trying to do something positive every day and reaching for small things would help. I don't know what you enjoyed before he left.
Could you arrange a small one hour meeting with friends? Maybe a garden weeding party if that is what you like. Give everyone a section of the garden, including yourself, and have a nice coffee break or lunch with your Mom's help. Then you will have something nice to look at in the morning.
You really don't want to stay where you are, stuck while the world passes you by. The world needs strong people like you. What things did you enjoy before all this happened?
Don't be afraid to change therapists if this one isn't working. You are so fortunate to have your lovely Mom to back you up! And friends. You are indeed rich.
We are all rooting for you and waiting to hear some good news. Like you have started taking one small step. Actually, you already have by writing to us on this forum. Good Move. Keep it going.
I’m so sorry for everything you are going through. I’m sorry about your boyfriend also. Emotional stress can cause physical ailments and can make you extremely tired. I agree with everyone. You should talk to someone else.
However I’m going to tell you like I tell my daughters. Do not let a man define you. No matter what... you are LOVED... by your mom and your friends (based on what I read in your replies). As time passes, his sting will get less painful. I know it’s hard right now...Your heart will get better.
You don't know it yet, but you are much better off without the narcissist boyfriend. You have been given good suggestions. Now, you have to get out when you can, it will help bring joy to your life. I wish you the very best. You will be in my prayers . Blessings Hannah
I am so sorry!!! I did OK on that combination, though I did feel tired a lot....though not nearly that tired....I think it may be depression. So sorry about your boyfriend. My husband has been through this twice with me now, and has been wonderful, but sometimes I have to tell him “I have CANCER” to get him to spoil me just a little....maybe your boyfriend was just too sensitive to bear it. It is hard to watch someone you love suffer, unless you can compartmentalize it the way I think my husband is able to do.
I'm so sorry you are going through all this. The meds definitely cause fatigue and on top of that your man left. That's alot to deal with. Too much combines to form depression.
I'm glad you are talking to a therapist, but fatigue can also be a side effect of antidepressants. Maybe you could discuss a different antidepressant. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right one.
I will be thinking of you and hoping this challenge shall soon pass.
Love,
Marianne
Please take care of yourself...he is not worth it!
I feel you are depressed and sorry to hear about the boyfriend. It’s hard with letrozole and Ibrance. I feel tired and wake up all night at least 3 times showering from the night sweats and this has been almost two years. I know that all meds have side effects and the depression meds could be doing some of this. Have the dr review your meds because they just seem to pile up med after med -make sure all the drs are in track with what’s going on. I wish the best for you and hopefully these side effects will lessen. I have no energy and I’m weak but it has met to bone and they say it’s stable just I have pain and I’m weak. Some exercise helps. I loved water arobics but with the covid-that’s gone! Try different things like mild exercise and diet change. The women on this site will tell you and they are great. god bless you-be strong!🙏🌹
I now this is counterintutive but I excerise every other day to fight fatigue. Sorry about your BF too. I't s better to get away from someone like that.
Wow--that is alot to cope with at the same time! I've read that a large percentage of men leave their wives/partners/girlfriends when they become ill with something serious! And that certainly is not on you, it is wholly on him! But big changes often = alot of stress.. I used to be a therapist (1973-93) and knew alot about meds for anxiety and depression then, but those meds have changed probably as much as cancer meds have. But if you are on more than medication for depression, you should probably see a psychiatrist, at least for an evaluation, and preferably one used to seeing cancer patients. Alot of other doctors will prescribe meds for depression without knowing some of the fine points and interactions with other meds we may be on. Different people respond differently to the various meds and the doses. Something that has helped me cope with the emotional part of living with mbc has been writing, not necessarily in tidy proper sentences and paragraphs, but just getting the crappy stuff on paper or on the computer screen helps move it out of me. I wrote alot of ugly songs and poetry the first couple of years I had MBC. Stuff I'd never share with others, including my closest family and friends. Just nasty stuff about how difficult living with this stupid cancer is. Now I have beern living with the cancer, metastatic from the get go, for 16 plus years. Of course I am 16 years older, but I am also tired a good bit of the time. Drained kind of tired. Sleep doesn't help kind of tired. Pushing myself to get up and walk helps. This is a hard way to live, that's for sure!
I have bone mets--in several vertebrae, one rib, pelvis, and shoulder blade. The shoulder blade spots were nice and close to the surface and easily biopsied to make sure the mets were the same as the primary, and they were. I've been really lucky and have had only minor progression and am on just third line treatment. I have invasive lobular bc that's
E + her2neu - , initially P+ but now P-. I've never had pain from any of the cancer though I do have pre-existing lower back issues and have had to have two lower back surgeries since the cancer diagnosis, due to the pre-existing stuff. Surgery was complicated by the cancer but fortunately I've stumbled upon really wonderful neurosurgeons who have managed to figure out how to work with those long standing problems plus the cancer. I have metal in my lower back and neuropathy down both legs, again not from the bone mets but from damage to the nerve that goes into the legs, and I can't think of the name of that nerve right now, which is way too typical of the way my memory has been effected by 16 years of cancer treatment! (I'd rather blame cancer than aging!)
It would be natural for you to be a little depressed.I am on the same dose and I am a nurse of 39 years and have to stop i am so exhausted and get sob going up stairs.You are being double punched. Keep with your councilor maybe a med adjustment on your depression .There are not words I can say to help i am so sorry i hope you start feeling better.
Hello Sister, and yesssss Warrior. I feel your pain , but good riddance to the boy who is not worthy of you. I believe when GOD moves someone out of your life, all that does is make room for the love of your life . Sister/Warrior you might not be able to embrace this now, but one day you are going to think, why did I cry over this Boy, who didn't know how to be the Man I needed. I hope/pray you are feeling, and doing better. Joy is on the horizon. After the rain storm a beautiful rainbow, and bright sun shine will follow . I send you virtual hugs from afar.
Have you talked with your oncologist about a lower dose? I went from 125 mg to 75 mg over a year ago. My level of fatigue improved. It’s not unusual to get a lower dose. Good luck n
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, but good riddance to the boy who is not worthy of you. I believe when GOD moves someone out of your life, all that does is make room for the love of your life 
. Sister/Warrior you might not be able to embrace this now, but one day you are going to think, why did I cry over this Boy, who didn't know how to be the Man I needed. 
Ibrance and Infection protocol?
In praise of Ibrance and Letrozole
Smoking
worried about markers / possible treatment change
Piqray/Alpelisib (plus Fulvestrant injections) Trial so far
