I had my quarterly ct scan a week ago and have been on pins and needles ever since. For the first time I had a bad feeling and I was right š. While no organs are involved which is good news, two of the Mets on my spine have grown and I have six fractures in my lower back. That would explain the extra pain. My oncologist is sending me for a radiation referral, hoping they can help with the pain and stop the progression. It seems this may be the end of the Ibrance for me with no other option than chemotherapy. Itās been two years two the day since I found out I had cancer. I guess I had two years without progression and if they can contain the bigger Mets maybe I can hold of on chemo. My depression has been bad this past week due to shorter days, I really need sunlight. Now I have to tell my husband when he gets home and figure out wether to tell my kids now or after Xmas. They are both in their twenties but do I want to drag them down over the holidays?
Scan results : I had my quarterly ct... - SHARE Metastatic ...
Scan results
Thanks for the advice. I did tell my kids right away when I was diagnosed along with my sister and mother. A couple of close friends were told but I was several months into treatment before I told anybody else. I hope the radiation can stop it so I can avoid chemo for a little while longer.
Dear Sarcie: So sorry to hear the news! Praying for options that work for you ā¤ļøšā¤ļø. Have you considered SAD light therapy. Hereās an article from Mayo Clinic: mayoclinic.org/diseases-con...
Thank you. I had one years ago and gave it to someone. I may have to get another one to use.
Hi Sarcie
I too have a new met in my liver and also in sternum which I found out yesterday when I went for my pet scan results
Iām having SABR to both in the new year and hopefully can stay on Ibrance and letrazole for a bit longer
I cried when I woke up this morning and on and off all day...itās so disheartening
Iāve told my girls..27 and 31 as they knew I had had a scan and I cannot lie to them
All the best to you
Love Barb xx
Iām sorry you have had the same results. It sucks big time especially this time of year. I have told my husband and daughter and best friend. Iām just waiting for my son to get off work before I tell him. Please keep me up to date on how your radiation goes. I had a few good cries today but Iām settling some and trying to forget about it which is easier said than done.
Barb
Iām sorry for this news. Iām going thru a similar thing right now and I know how crushingly hard this is. I also know you too will do what you have to do and thereās an excellent chance the treatment will work. The hardest part for me is constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop. It can really suck the life and hope out of you. Letās just stubbornly get thru this and plan on having better news to share by Spring. Thinking of you
Oh Nancy itās so disheartening...I know youāve struggled valiantly through your latest treatment and as you said...itās the thought of what next....when and where ....I just feel like I can never ever relax feel happy or look forward to things with this hanging over me constantly
I almost refused the treatment but I didnāt...however there will be a time when I know I will...
I was very miserable yesterday but had to go and get Christmas cards and a few bits...anyway I called in to a cafe for a drink and sandwich and while I was waiting for my order great big tears splashed down on the table and I just cried...embarrassing but doubt anyone saw...
Anyway Iām going to drag myself off to yoga this morning ....the weather is horrible here so it will give me something to focus on
Love Barb xx
Barb,
First, I'm anything but valiant. Stubborn, yes. Valiant, hell no. I've turned in to quite a simpering whimp, but I exhaust myself with this after a while. As my therapist said, "you go off and lick your wounds, and then you come back and head into the fire." We both have too much quality of life, despite this nasty disease, to even think about when we are going to refuse treatment. For now, treatment is a fact of our lives. I've had to have quite a talk with myself about this and am working to accept this is my life with cancer. And it's the only life I have. Good you dragged yourself to yoga. I did that a few weeks ago, it changed my day! How did your class go? Sunday I am getting Reiki'd. There is nothing about Reiki that seems logical to me, but I have had it twice, and both times I felt renewed. I'm going to try anything that isn't toxic that makes me feel better. Well, except for chemo and radiation. Plenty toxic but hopefully cancer hates it more than I do. I consider you my sister in this "push" to get back to stable. Let's go! Is your Christmas tree up? I'm going to have my husband and son, both Jewish, put the tree up and drag out the ornaments. We have a beautiful Menorah we also light. I really need the lights this year.
Hi Nancy
Yes my tree is up only because I had a party last Saturday ( itās called a fuddle in Nottingham where everyone brings something).. so I just bought Prosecco and did a cheeseboard...however I really wanted a real tree this year but miserable hubby was moaning and saying it would be messy expensive blah blah so I just dragged down the fake one and chucked baubles on it but wasnāt in the mood...it looks nice though
Last year I was very emotional about Christmas and thought it would be my last...but here I am !!! but still thinking the same ...having my girls and hubbys for the festivities...Miranda and Ben will stay for a while as they live in London
Mirandaās a bit of a control freak so she can do it all...Iām not much of a cook but will do potato dauphinois then just drink gin with vanessa ...sheās very like me!!!
Thereās a reiki practitioner where I go for acupuncture and Iāve pondered about trying this...I will now youāve reminded me...anything to balance my mood will be a bonus
Yoga was good today although some of the sitting forward bends hurt so I just miss those out...the other postures I find easy as Iāve done yoga for years and am fairly supple...Iāve started swimming which helps with pain and I enjoy that...not riding much as this time of year Bugsy can be a handful...we clip off their coats and put on rugs so it makes them a bit excitable when theyāre removed....heās not naughty and I wouldnāt be bothered normally but Iām a bit wary of coming off and breaking bones
I find Christmas a bit too emotional...everyone happy etc etc and I feel left out of that...many years ago I was a telephone Samaritan and the calls increased a lot over the festive season as it can be a very unhappy time for some people...I understand that now!!
Going back to the radiotherapy...Iāve been warned that I may have swallowing problems afterwards and I know you struggled with this so I dread it but itās not for ever so Iāll just have to put up and shut up...Iām glad youāre starting to improve though...I guess itās good for the figure if nothing else!!
Have you had to change your meds?.. I canāt remember what you said
All the best
Barb xx
Wonāt know about maintenance meds for a while. My swallowing is a lot better but no miraculous recovery yet. I have to laugh how you say youāre no cook but youāll do potatoes dauphinois. Sounds quite fancy. And if you can chuck baubles at your tree and pull it off, youāre not half bad. Yes the holidays can be emotional land mines. Youāve got your daughters and the gin. š
The potato thing is really easy!!
When I was young and we used to entertain...I had three things I could pull off...chicken fricassee...beef stroganoff or spaghetti bolognaise followed by a bought pudding!!!
Iām sorry the swallowing hasnāt totally improved...but at least itās going in the right direction
What a life
Barb xx
You said it sister!
You go ahead and cry Barb. It is necessary and even cathartic some times. I share your frustration and I am very sorry. I am sending you peaceful thoughts to help ease your anguish. We are here for you.
Thank you for your lovely message...crying does help Iām sure but embarrassing sometimes...Iām not good at putting on a brave face recently
Barb xx
Me either , crying in public must really look stupid but I canāt control it . It so hard , I am with you š¢
Donāt let being human and showing fear and tears make you feel embarrassed please. None of us are stoic Vikings. We are harder on ourselves than we should be. Every day you get up and out of bed and push on. That is strength every single darn day. Now youāve had a disappointing setback. . It would be unnatural if you did not feel low. The fact that you were able to get your tree out and decorated speaks to your perseverance. I respect that it is hard for you to look at festive lights and wonder about next holidays. Thatās natural. Please though, focus on how you continue to endure. Think about how low you were before your daughterās recent wedding. Yet you pushed on and you were able to celebrate that milestone. Perhaps thinking of that will help remind you that you are still on a journey that has miles ahead yet.
Hi Barb
I so feel for you, again especially as Iāve just received good news of a stable scan.
Itās hard not to cry sometimes and we are all entitled to. I also cry sometimes both with sadness and joy. I feel it does somehow release a bit of tension and I feel better again in due course.
We are all living with daily challenges and I now try and take one day at a time.
I wish you well Barb, youāre a beautiful lady inside and out with stunning daughters who clearly love you dearly.
Thinking of you and sending you a hug š¤
Jo xx
Oh Barb. I wish all the best to you. You have had a hard time lately!
Yes itās horrid
Thanks for your support and all the ladies on here who pick me up when Iām down
Barb xx
Barb, I'm so sorry for the bad result. I can certainly understand your down mood. I'm unable to express myself as well as others as I'm afraid the floodgates will open on me. (I guess it's the season or the recent progression.) But, know I'm inspired by you and the others who face your setbacks and share so freely. Thank you and hoping you find joy in the season.
Andi
Thanks for the link. So many to decide from so this helps.
Sarcie,
I'm so sorry about your news...Gosh...this disease is just awful. I'll be thinking of you and sending good vibes/energy as you go through your treatment (and these are not just words...).
It sounds like you've decided to tell your family, which I imagine will help you get through the holidays vs. keeping this from your children and close friends. These are certainly difficult conversations to have...I'm actually surprised (now that I think about it...that we don't see more on this site re: how to share the info...I'm not expert, for sure, generally opting for the clumsy blurting out vs. measured communications....I'm sure you did better!
I'm glad you're going to be getting the rads and will have the fractures and pain dealt with...And, while we all dread chemo, I'm sure, I would imagine that these are "bigger guns", just more unpleasant, so held off until the easier treatments stop working? I think I've read accounts on this site from women who have responded very well to chemo after moving on from the "softer" treatments? I hope the same for you...
I hope you are able to enjoy the holidays, surrounded and supported by some of the people who love you!
Take care,
Lynn
Thank you. I told my husband when he got home and my daughter after supper. I told my sons girlfriend so when he got home from work she had him call me. I think he was the hardest as he shows his emotions like me. I tried to give them the facts and be optimistic. Trying to stay positive helps us all. As my best friend said tonight, not only did you have to hear this bad news but then you had to tell the ones you love. Not fair but neither is cancer. Iām lucky to have my family and my best friend. Again, thank you for your good vibes and kind words.
Iām very sorry. Itās dreadful to hear such news. It is a lot to absorb for you. Please, take the time you yourself need to absorb all of this, and only then decide who to inform and how.
As odd as this may sound, I found that it helped me when I was first diagnosed with MBC to remind myself I would not die within a week. Somehow that helped me overcome my deep sadness and anxiety. Yes, progression is lousy. But you are still on a journey and no one has said something awful is imminent.
I swear that a big reason my father lived to be 89 is because he truly believed it when he would say āletās cross that bridge when we get to it.ā Talk to your doctors. Come up with your treatment plan. Then, try to avoid āwhat ifā since that is too speculative still. I canāt help but think that the āone day at a timeā mantra works for so many folks struggling with addiction. It is probably good for us too.
Having said all this, Iād be weeping in your shoes. I just hope that among all the noise in your head right now, the words of your fellow sister warriors are louder. Hang in there. We are here for you.
Thank you ā¤ļø. Having the support here and knowing that you all understand really helped me today. As I told my son, there are others that have it worse and Iām lucky it is only in my bones. We have to find the good and once I had a couple of good cries and I got my self together. It was harder telling my kids then finding out myself.
The chemo eradicated the mets on my spine so whilst its not so good news about the mets, theres a good chance chemo will be effective.
My advice on telling your offspring is to leave it to the new year if you can. Enjoy Xmas 
I hope all goes well x
Thank you for the encouraging news. I hope this works for me also.
Sarcie and Barb,
I am so sorry you have both had progression. It is the news that we all dread but will face one day. I think I was better prepared in February 2017 when I learned that I was stage 4 than I am today. I think you will feel better when you start the new fight. Hugs and best wishes in the meantime. Blessings Hannah
Thanks Hannah. ā¤ļø
Hi Sarcie
Iām really sorry to hear your news, especially as Iāve just received the good news of a stable scan.
It certainly sounds like they have treatment options and I hope they sort a plan out for you ASAP. Thinking of you and sending you a hug š¤
I vary with sharing things with family and friends. In the past Iāve probably shared too much with too many.
It became clear to me that some of my friends, understandably, didnāt understand and I may have ābaffled them with scienceā.
Also, some friends just donāt get that Iām not on chemo yet so have I really got MBC .... I give up trying to explain.
I wish you well - please keep us updated.
Jo xx
Iām excited for you to have gotten good news. Always celebrate the good news. I did tell my husband and kids and best friend. Today I told my sister and my sister in law. Cheated and texted the last two.
Sunny,
My feelings exactly. Folks think I am cured because they see me out and about. They don't know I have to be careful not to overdo and that I can't make multiple plans. I have to space things so that I get plenty of down time.
Blessings Hannah
Isnāt it so frustrating when they say, but you look so good. At first I said thank you as I didnāt know what to say, now I want to say āitās good I donāt look like I feelā. But then people would say I was mean. I think they forget we are battling MBC. If you arenāt thin or bald they think you are cured š”
Hi Sandra
I think the met in my sternum was always there but the pet scan shows activity...I suppose ct scans donāt do that.....I have numerous widespread bone mets
Iāll be having a double whammy of SABR in the new year
I almost felt like saying...stuff it Iāve had enough but I didnāt....really fed up though as I was feeling better recently and doing more...now itās back to feeling hideous again
Barb xx
Thinking of you both Sarcie and Barb... awful time to get news of progression , but you are both in good hands and will get through it ! Keep going and keep your minds busy ! We will all go through this at some point and just have to help each other through difficult times . Much love ! xx
Thank you for the support.
Sending love and prayers your way and so sorry to hear you're going through it! May tomorrow be a brighter day for you. When I am feeling that great sadness and feeling the void, I don't know what else to call that feeling so I'll use void ... empty ... dark ... I say the Lord's prayer over and over again to myself until that feeling leaves me. I have been doing this since I was a child and Jesus has never failed to lift that spirit of despair off of me. The Lord's prayer is powerful, that's why Jesus gave it to us. God bless you and heal us all in Jesus name, amen. Oh, and I don't ALWAYS remember to do this, sometimes I just cry all day. I blame the lack of estrogen, I sure miss my estrogen!
I dunno. Estrogen is my enemy these days. At 66 whoād think I still had any?
I hear you. I would have assumed mine was all gone but apparently itās till there. š
My gyno told me that all woman have it until 65-66 . Iām 58 
hope I make it š³
Iām 55 so a ways to go. We need more than Letrozole to block it
Thank you. I used to say The Lords Prayer every night when I had nightmares. It used to calm me. Some times crying is good for the soul.
I'm so sorry to hear your news, but sounds like your onc has a plan. Hopefully, it will kill the pain and get rid of that damn cancer!
Love and hugs
Thank you. Iām going to think that too.
Sandra youāre so right
I was peering down the rat hole yesterday...but not today
Thanks
Barb xx
I had my pet scan this morning, I have cried non stop in public and home for a week . PLEASE donāt refuse next line of therapy because it could be the one that works the best so far and something else can come along while in treatment . I am no one to talk , I am a weeping willow but I do know one thing , the vibes I get from you tell me there is much good life left and lots of love around you . Please donāt give up .soft hugs š¤ to you , , Xxoo
Stacy
Thank you for you support. I got my appointment date for my initial meeting with the radiation oncologist. They said they will also do the markers on my body for the actual radiation that day, assuming he says itās a go.
Please let us know what your scan results are. This group gives such amazing support. All of you have helped me centre myself and prepare for the radiation
Go onto a You tube site that talks about holistic ways to treat cancer. Search for "What exactly would you do if you were told you had cancer". It will take you to a conference hosted by Hippocrates. One of the doctors - Pam Popper - is my favourite cancer doctor. Some of their suggestions could be included in your chemotherapy treatments. I think you should share with your children before Xmas. Crying and hugging together will help you all face the future. Then just enjoy each other and have a wonderful holiday season.
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