Planning events

[Lisa11171]

I’ve decided it’s time to try to make myself feel more normal by planning some fun events. I signed up for Meetup.com and plan on attending several upcoming things, like card games, a Halloween haunted hay ride, and a singles event. I’m hoping my fatigue and anxiety will allow me to go to as many events as I can!! Wish me luck! I’ve been isolating for so long and letting my cancer define me, and I want this to end. By making new friends and trying fun things, I’m hoping to get out of my own head and put myself out there. It’s been a while, but I’m tired of being lonely, and this seems like a good start. 🤞🤞🤞

[nstonerocks]

Get out there. You are not your cancer. You are still Lisa. Don’t let cancer steal any More of your life than it has to (appts, scans, etc). Easy to say from a calm place (today). I use therapy, meditation, a small dose of an antidepressant to help me stay on an even keel. I lost it when first diagnosed. It was an emotional nightmare. Still crash and burn sometimes, but not like before. 💕

[Hidden]

Hi Lisa,

I agree that it's a good idea to get out there and try to do what you can to combat the loneliness and isolation that you are feeling. I don't have an issue with loneliness, but when I was first diagnosed I suddenly felt incredibly lonely. I felt like I was the only person living with metastatic breast cancer. It was such a horrible, empty feeling.

Spending time with friends, learning to love life, helping others where possible (provided it does not leave you feeling drained) and having fun can help you feel normal again. Staying busy is also a good distraction. Crowding out time that you may spend wallowing means you are inviting good experiences back into your life and that is always a step in the right direction.

Sophie x

[mariootsi]

Good for you! You go girl! Have fun!!!

[Barbteeth]

Doing these things will help you so much...it’s so hard to take the first steps but you’re doing that

Pleased for you

Barb xx

[BeckyinMaine]

Good for you! It may be a little challenging at first but it will be so good for you.

[Rhwright12]

Go enjoy some fall fun! 😀💕

[laurac1014]

I used to go on Meetups when I was younger, single and had more energy. I belonged to the Singles group, they had so many events, you can pick and choose how you are feeling that day. I had a really great time and made some good friends through there. Hope you have a good time !

[lynnhbtb]

Good for you Lisa! I have a tendency to isolate myself sometimes, too. If you need extra energy boosts, you might ask for some pallative remedies for that. It's not giving up, but supporting you in getting through treatments and living your life. All the best. <3

[kearnan]

Great idea.

[kearnan]

I live alone and have no family and I don't drive. (Not so good in Brooklyn). Most of my friends have moved out of Brooklyn so I have nobody here. My plan was to do some type of volunteer work for maybe 2 or 3 days a week just because I need some kind of purpose to my life. I am isolated. Unfortunately, because of some medical issues that had arisen from the mbc, I have not yet done so. But I actually find I am missing work and the socialization that comes from it. (I DO NOT miss the NY commute which is a horror). I figured if I volunteered I would meet other people and at least be giving back. I have become too isolated from just staying in my apt. all day. One, bc I dont drive and (2) nobody to do anything with PLUS worrying about money. But I need to change something. Let us know how it goes. I think I would have to volunteer at a nursing home where some don't even get visitors and maybe a homeless shelter also. It would be nice to have a reason to get up and have something to do. The loneliness is unbearable and it's hard when one has no family, no siblings, cousins, etc. So I need to make some changes.

[Lisa11171 in reply to kearnan]

I do volunteer work also! We sound like we have very similar situations. I highly recommend you do find a place to volunteer and look into the MeetUp.com site. They probably have tons of things to do in your area. I love the idea of playing cards and board games with other people. A perfect event for people who can’t walk for long periods and want to socialize. I have my first game night tomorrow evening!!

[kearnan in reply to Lisa11171]

That is great and good for you. I don't know any card games (never really played) and I am not too keen on board games. But I live in NY. I would like to find a group (people that don't have to cancer to be a member) that like to go to museums and such. I mean geez, I live in NY and there are loads of events always going on that are for free but I dislike going alone. Odd, in my 40s, I traveled alone all the time, went to Africa, Peru, Amazon, all of Europe but now I don't enjoy it as much bc I alone all the time in my apt. It's easy to fall into a deep depression but I am determined to get myself out of it and do something. I am going to check on that site. Thanks. I have it in my lungs so I feel major breathlessness when walking. But I think part of it is in my mind and I get scared and feel like I can't breathe so I want to start walking more. I live right near a bicycle path, and a walking path right across from where I live and it goes down from one side of Brooklyn all the way to Coney Island Beach (Thus, Ocean Parkway which is where I live.) There are benches all the way on a long stretch so I could walk a bit, sit down a while and then continue. I feel being alone all the time without doing anything can make a person severely depressed but if you do things and are around people, it takes your mind off. Let me know how it goes tomorrow. I will check out that site, thank you.

[Lisa11171 in reply to kearnan]

They have tons of activities like theater and museums so you should be able to find lots of good stuff!! I also spend a lot of time alone and I’m tired of it. It does make me feel so much worse to isolate.

[illini9]

Enjoy trying new things and meeting people. I struggle with fatigue too so I just try and manage my schedule to make sure I get rest between events and sometimes I do say no or cancel. I have found volunteering to be great for contact - and if you do it when you have some good flexibility with schedule that helps manage fatigue too. have fun!