Femara/ibrance therapy going on 20 months; so I too am in “remission” (which is taboo CA)

[Bailey3266]

Hello:

I’ve been on L/I combo ~21 mos (?# of cycles) & get results tomm; 3 mos ago no evidence on scans. My Mets are in lymph n lung pluera & lung. I’m retired and keep active walking my pug 1-3 miles a day alternating with riding my new “Recumbant trike” which helps my bones (Femara side/effects & my husband calls it “The Pug-mobile. We just have to get him a larger basket and some goggles/helmet! I have heard 4+ years and that is comforting—my mo says some 10 years from initial study out of UCLA. Having trouble convincing my children 18 & 20 (a time when they push parents away in trying to be more independent); lots of tears on my part as I know my days are numbered and selfishly I’d like everyone to cherish every day we have—they leave for college in August and it’s tough=totally empty nest. I know he (18 yo) is soiling the nest=normal to allow us ease in separation when time comes. Any tricks/tips? Cannot even seem to get them to walk beach/dog with me. Watched a beautiful tear jerking movie on “Netflix” The Longest Goodbye if ur hysterical towards end shut it off—the 2 theme songs at end is where I lost it; but I enjoyed watching it and think families shud be encouraged as it gives them a peak into the issues and stress & feelings we all face! Husband is fantastic except says a stupid thing here n there—when recapping that I was left alone at gate and flite change & dining wheelchair caused too much stress as I almost missed the flight—to which he said “I’m not ur care-taker, ya know”. I know it wasn’t mean-spirited—but he doesn’t see how a wheelchair helps me at airport; apparently neither do the gate representatives...I just asked them to call and hold the plane and await my wheelchair arrival—totally discriminatory behavior which I never expect especially after I shared I have terminal cancer (which I do not often do—I have 2 handfuls of good/bad friends family! They mean we’ll; & maybe small things upset me on so many levels! Idk. Help?

[laurac1014]

Hi ! Im glad you reached NED. I hear what you are saying about airports and family. On my last trip I had a broken wheel on my old luggage and they moved the gate to a mile away. My sweet daughter had so much already and dragged mine as well. I did buy a new four wheelin carry on case before the trip home !

[Red71]

Hi! It sounds like you are doing well physically if you are able to walk one to three miles with your dog. I can’t walk that far but I don’t like to pull the cancer card so when it comes to airports, I just get there earlier and take my time. As far as your son acting his age, I don’t think they have a choice! They are programmed to act that way. But maybe it’s worse because he is afraid and doesn’t want to show his emotion. Let loose, if you are NED, you probably have time for him (and them) to come back to the point of being a normal people again! The more you try to hold on, the more they pull away. That is advice from the mother of two no longer teenage boys!

You said that small things upset you as well as both your children leaving for school. Empty nest problems are real even without cancer breathing down your neck. I’d recommend seeing a therapist to talk some of this out. It will probably help you and make you feel better about your future. You are probably eligible on your insurance and maybe your oncologist can recommend someone who deals with cancer patients. Hugs. Elaine

[Barbteeth]

Hi there

It’s the worst feeling in the world when your kids leave home..my eldest Vanessa went to Bristol Uni and we took her and her belongings down in the car...I sobbed all the way home...felt like I’d had my guts kicked in..wasn’t too bad with Miranda as she stayed in Nottingham where we live but she moved into a flat but I saw her more often BUT if I’d had to deal with mbc at that time as well...I would have been even worse emotionally...men don’t understand!!..that umbilical cord will never be severed

After the first term it does get easier but even after that I used to get my husband to take Vanessa to the train station as every time I had to leave her I was an embarrassment to her...crying etc...I’m like that though anyway ...cry at everything

The first time I went for a flight after my diagnosis..husband wanted to get a wheelchair but I flatly refused...vanity I guess...so I could hardly walk for more than a few steps as breathing was bad (pleural effusion) and I had a fractured vertebrae and rib...there was almost a divorce over that one!!! Looking back I should have had the wheelchair but I hated what I had become and tried to be normal...but I felt so poorly but was determined to get on that plane on my own

Now I accept help if people offer but I hate it

Barb xx

[kearnan]

All of our days are numbered. Nobody lives forever. I do not think of stage iv as terminal. Years ago it was. Now it is more of a chronic illness that needs to be taken care of with medication and check ups like some other illnesses or diseases. There are much worse diseases or conditions than stage iv breast cancer. ALS which is a horrible disease as a person slowly but surely loses control of their body until they cannot talk and are in a wheel chair. We can see, we can talk, we can walk, we have our brains still working. I know many women from boards that have lived with stage iv for years now and are still working. I had a friend pass away several months ago from a brain anuerism that went straight to her brain. She had a clot and was walking around and just collapsed and died instantly. She did not have cancer. I never think of my days being numbered. These days stage iv can live for many years. People should appreciate every single day that they wake up. A friend's husband when she had five young children had been complaining about headaches. He went to a doctor, they found a mass and unfortunately he passed away within a month. He had a brain tumor but had no symptoms until it was too late and then he went so quickly. I myself have several friends who have gotten breast cancer, although not stage iv. But as we are finding out, you can have breast cancer, go through all the treatment and mastectomies, and be declared cancer free only to have it return many years later as stage iv. It's all random in my opinion.

[mariootsi in reply to kearnan]

I agree. It does seem random as to recurrence to stage IV.

[RLN-overcomer]

Yesssssssssssssssssss Sister/warrior C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-E. Okay I am jumping for joy, for you. God has blessed you.XoXoXoXo

[mariootsi]

So happy you are NED. Awesome!