I have to ask quick question though it appears most people on this site take better care of themselves via diet and exercise holistic therapies, etc.
My confession is that when I began ibrance/Letroziole 20 month ago I thought (I know know that’s not true) well I’m only gonna live 22 month if even that & for the first time in 40 years none of my doctors lectured on smoking. I don’t need a lecture on why I should quit (I smoke an average of 5 cigarettes a day; which I don’t think is gonna kill me).
Problem is my two children ages 18 & 20 don’t understand breast Mets and I figure (maybe it’s wrong thinking) the smoking at this point in my life is not going to be what kills me.
They bought me a “Vape Pen” & believe me I’m only 54; but it scares me as to what’s in them vs cigarettes.
ORIGINAL dX: Stage 1 x2 in left breast with Double mastectomies w/Tram Flap reconstruction in 5/2010 & all clear until 11/2017 when it had metasticized to lung and lymph.
I have no visible signs of activity @ present (x 3 months—& extreme SCANXIETY right now because I missed my 5/28 CT SCAN & due to relocation and insurance issues I’ve gotten the runaround on scheduling my scan x2+ weeks; I think I’ll finally get a date today; but sometimes it’s never a good time to quit—scared to replace smoking to Vape or failing at it; & my teens are angry that I don’t try immediately. I don’t drink and go for 1-3 mile walks/day. Thank you for allowing me to spill. I feel guilty and sad everyday that I’m not doing what others think I could do to stay alive; I actually think staying with ibrance/Femara Ativan Ambien Zoloft & Caltrate and managing side effects was fighting it.
While I said I don’t need “health-lectures; I don’t want pity party either.
It’s hard to hear what they are saying as they both vape and smoke marajuana (I don’t do either or any ither drug xcept smoke (which I’ve always been told not as a ticket to keep smoking but that smoking is worse to give up than Heroin (no offense TJ those who are addicted or recovering addicts or families.
I do not want them to resent me when I’m gone but I think I’ve already done the irreversible damage to my body going thru Cancer one! I don’t sleep usually the whole 2 weeks before my scans; now it’s been going on 💤6 weeks; no scan. Now is not s good time to have my kids constantly yell at me to quit smoking? Any thoughts, ideas advice stories are welckne
Sincerely🎉🥰
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Bailey3266
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Oh, I’m so sorry for the kaleidoscope of feelings twirling round and round in your head. Anxiety and confusion and guilt and sadness and fear of what’s-next make for difficult companions. We all have had similar feelings-perhaps there is comfort in being as “normal” as the rest of us!
My (hopefully helpful) opinions-in no particular order:
1) your kids are scared, too, and trying to help. Whether you accept their advice or not, just remember -and let them know - you realize their good desires.
In situations where I get advice from others, I simply say-“Thank you, I’ll consider that.” Responding in such a way does not obligate me to trying it, but does give me time to think about it and gather evidence.
2) You’re right-quitting smoking is difficult-but again you are among good company as many of us are former smokers. However the key to quitting is not outside pressure but rather inward resolve.
Quitting out of your kids’ guilt-trip pressure has little chance of success. Swapping it out for vaping may not be the way to go if you already suspect lung damage. When YOU decide you want to quit, you can find a healthy way to replace that addiction.
My mother smoked for 40+years. AFTER we all quit nagging her, and her asthma and CODS nearly incompassitated her, she quit by substituting 2 baby-carrots every time she wanted a smoke. It took her 6 months, but she actually regained lung function sufficient to allow her to sing beautifully again and had more energy than she’d had in years.
You can do it if and when you’re ready, and the benefit of quitting will amaze you.
3) going through cancer as you state does damage the body. However, we are all STILL HERE working through the challenges. We can only do the best we can; choose what actions or treatments feel the best for us and not feel guilty for not choosing one thing over another. In between active bouts, our amazing bodies rest up and then continue to fight another day. Despite the tough stuff our bodies face with illness and treatments they soldier up and carry on. Whatever help we can provide as they fight for us- whether with diet, exercise, taking in good stuff and avoiding what we know we should, - we will benefit.
Praying for your mind to be blessed with peace as you work through these next few weeks... and that your scans show no progression.
Thank you for your wonderfully expressed reply. I was bit afraid to post honestly my query; but I was frank and I do appreciate your sharing your thoughts. I think I will try the baby carrots. I’ve quit several times; last time for 3 mos. after I received my stage 4 diagnosis; I just can’t stay quit. It’s a fluke when I quit and same in reverse.
I wish I could have occasional cigarette; but, that’s not allowed by my body’s mental and/or physical composition.
My smoking goes way back to childhood issues and depression and family dynamics etc. not blaming that but after 3-4 years in therapy I’d had enough of that. Can take the girl out of the city; but can’t take city out of the girl! Meaning even when I’m successfully quit-I’ll always be an addict? My philosophy is seize the day and may be selfish and wrong; but be happy while your time is ticking away; cancer patient or not/it ticks at all of us!
Took me years before the “Gee, a cig would be great right now” feeling went away. I really understand.
Just don’t give up on yourself and make every effort to enjoy your time here on earth and anticipate that will be decades! No guilt-just go forward and do the next thing!! Happy sister hugs-kc
I think your kids are just worried about you BUT it doesn’t give them the right to lecture you...as you say..the cigarettes aren’t going to kill you at this stage in your life
I used to smoke until I was 30....gave up but I admit to having a few cigarettes when I’ve had a scanxiety panic but I’m not addicted
You could always try nicotine chewing gum which I used when I gave up
Don’t be made to feel guilty...it’s your life ...I have glasses of wine when I want and just try to eat sensibly...don’t eat loads of sugary stuff and exercise as much as I can manage....I’m in pain all the time
I think you should just tell them that your choice to smoke is not their business
Sorry if this seems harsh but I’m sick of people telling me what to do as well...so I do exactly what I want
I agree wholeheartedly. I mean @ this stage in our lives , us not knowing from one monet to the next what a scan may reveal, and hell the way I see it is we already have cancer so smoking is not going to make it any worse or quitting potentially no better.. I'm going to do what i makes happy until my time is up as we all should do. As much stress as we are constantly under. Ladies do you!!! Matter of fact I'm smoking as we speak ...lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yay....you do what makes you happy...people are always trying to tell us what to do...like drinking and riding horses in my case...’what if you get bucked off’ etc etc so I ignore it all and do exactly what I want...mind you I’ve always been like that!!
Thanks for your assistance here. I applaud you living your life to fullest and horses are so beautiful; I may have missed my calling there as I’m 56 and a wee bit nervous and kinda clumsy so it makes me very afraid to go out of my comfort zone; but my 2 goals by the end of this year are to go horseback riding at least once in the beach where I am moving (I may just get addicted to that like you!!). Haven’t been on a horse in 40 years; but I remember how I loved the few times I tried.
I also want to try to kayak; but I’m very afraid I’m not strong enough swimmer anymore (I used to be lifeguard in college); but I’m gonna beg my DH or dtr or son to accompany me & if they don’t then I’ll go it alone and hope for the best guide ever to “baby me through my fears”...
Ooh I also love snorkeling; but have always been afraid to go scuba diving—I think that’ll be next years goal though-Get thru kayaking n horseback riding 1st!
Anyone else have bucket list things they’re scared of? I think I’ll cut n paste some of this and start a positive thread—since this one was “notsomuch”!
I dont have a bucket list as there’s nothing I want to desperately do
I’m quite happy pottering about my horses although I struggle with pain and weakness (not long since finished radiotherapy)... I don’t particularly like long journeys because of pain....I sound boring I know!!
Do ride again though if you enjoyed it before....if you have bone mets you ought to wear a body protector just in case!!
I am 100% with you. I Have mets to the lungs and have continued to smoke. My onco knows it. I had to go to the hospital in the beginning for some kind of tests. They gave me contrast and told me to come back in two hours. As I was sitting outside the HOSPITAL (affiliated with my cancer center) I had to laugh at the number of doctors and nurses that stepped outside to smoke.
Edit* alot people smoke, they just try and hide it depending on their profession at times. I don't judge anyone for what they do. Thank you for your response...
Just a tip. If you want to change or edit your response after you posted it, just pick the "more" option and it will give you the opportunity to edit the post you just wrote or delete it if you feel the need to do so.
Good morning Bailey! I just read your post and immediately was reminded how we women are conditioned to put everyone else's feelings above ours. So we feel guilty if we don't pacify and alleviate their concerns. Your kids obviously love you, but this is your life and they are old enough to understand choices in life. They reversed roles (my son did that after my mets dx) and feel it's their turn to parent you.
You have the God given right to live how you want to live. If others judge you for your choices....so be it! Realize that that has nothing to do with you, but everything with them. Do not let guilt ruin your every day.
I am one of the women who chose a diet approach to my stage 4. I get judged too... especially by stage 4 women for that choice because it is perceived as a judgement on Their choices, which of course it is not.
Maybe you can ask your kids to respect your choices, as you have respected, I am sure some of theirs over the years, and just love you through it.
I appreciate your reply on many levels. I’m sorry that you were less than supported or made to feel guilty as well.
I’m glad the first reply is not critical of my choice.
I remember back in the day of being a visiting nurse-those that would remove their oxygen (nasal cannula) & some left it in while they smoked—often both thought of as crazy and dangerous—
Thanks for your support and viewpoints. I wish you well in whatever diet lifestyle and values along with everything else you chose! Thanks
Ps I love the “kaleidoscope” feelings referrance. I love Kaleidoscopes always have. Now when I get these mixtures of feelings I’ll try to put them in perspective and try Togo to my happy place looking through a kaleidoscope as that always gave me intense happiness! Thx for that reference too.
Stop cigarettes assp! As an former smoker i can smell that trash a mile away and nothing more aggravating when i see or smell cigarette smoke/fumes on cancer patients.
If your going to smoke why not get a thc/cbd vape pen! Better for you and medical benefits will help with scanxiety and most anything else that ails you!
I continue to smoke cigarettes and I have mets to the lungs for two years now with no progression nor have I ever had to get my lungs drained. Nothing worse than a former smoker who judges people who choose to continue to smoke. And if you watched the news, you would see now that they are saying the vape pens are no better for your lungs than cigarettes and may be worse because other chemicals are in those oils. They are not 100% clean. My friend's father died from lung cancer and never smoked a day in his life. Nor did his wife or daughter so it was not like he was around second hand smoke. What other people choose to do should not aggravate you at all. Just concentrate on yourself and let others make their own decisions.
Not judging anyone more than your judging me. Smoking causes cancer fact! If you choose to smoke I personally don’t care one way or another, so as a former smoker I’m allowed to post my reply when someone is hooked on a cancerous and damaging product.
In NY, the Governor passed a law that now vaping is in the same category as smoking and not allowed in the same places that smoking cigarettes are not allowed. Plus recent articles have stated that vaping is also dangerous, that numerous times the CBD oil is not "clean" and has other ingredients that can damage lungs. To each his own. I try to be polite and when outside I walk away if I am with a group that does not smoke. I am allowed to smoke inside my apt. in my building. If I am inside and people do not like the lingering smell, they can get up and walk somewhere else.
Its a recognized fact cigarettes are as addictive as heroin. Regardless cigarettes vs cbd inhaling vapors are destroying lung and throat tissue.
Really don’t know or care about new yorks governor has to say about smoking or if you smoke.
I won’t standby and support people who are literally dying from cancer and smoke, you can smoke in your home that is your choice and you can smoke till the day you die, but I will tell you that non smokers find the stench offensive and vile and you will get less sympathy from non smokers about your health situation while sucking on a cigarette.
I really don't care or need your support or acceptance. Me and the others on this board who still smoke are adults and make our own decision and certainly do not need approval. And I obviously, if with a group of people that do not smoke, I step away when I am having a cig. And too bad if they find the stench vile. Not one of my non-smoking friends have ever said that and I ask if it is okay to have a cig before I get into the car. Not one has ever said no. If I am outside or inside, the people who do no like the "vile" smell can get up and sit elsewhere. I am also offended by the smell of perfume, hairspray and/or preachy people. So if someone has too much perfume on, I just sit somewhere else. Many of the women diagnosed with breast cancer DID NOT smoke. My onco told me herself that my smoking had nothing to do with me getting breast cancer. She said many women were shocked when diagnosed, bc they did not drink or smoke and were veggies and ran marathons and yet they still got breast cancer. They thought they were doing what was needed to avoid it but breast cancer is random. I don't need sympathy about my condition. Many of my friends have family members who have or at one time had cancer and they never smoked.
I have cancer; not from smoking! Thanks for your opinion. Maybe stop after you give it once though—it does not need repeating and I’d love it if we could all get along and be more supportive. Point taken and thank you—we are not all going to agree with everyone’s opinion—so please stop trying to force your opinion.
Sometimes that could be misdirected anger though and I do worry if your alright? Hang in there and hope your feeling better and your treatment helps for many years with low side effects for long time. Despite everything I think we are all hear for you if you have questions or comments on other threads on this site—we’d love to HELP you with whatever is really getting to you. So start a new thread & vent away! Also I just started one about Bucket list or if that offends people (‘cuz “this is chronic and we are not dying”... I get that even tho I feel that way sometimes—that kaleidoscope if feelings again) I’ll call it July resolutions and goals-who needs to wait for NY Eve (BTW that’s my favorite day of the year; day I met my husband; cannot believe we are still sooo much in love for over 30 years). I look at this as though I’ve been blessed with him and his and my family’s and children; I know this cancer is a bummer but I am very content with the life I’ve had (despite my first 20 years being very tumultuous) the next almost 35 outweighs and for the most part wipes out my negative memories with happiness. I hope others can be grateful that this cancer dc has allowed them as it has me to be grateful for the good things and not feel bad about METS so much (I do still have teeny putty party meltdowns in occasions); but for most part I try to see glass half full!
Things could always be worse and are far worse for so many people less fortunate than us in this world!
From what I have read and heard vaping anything causes crystals on your lungs. I threw away my cbd vape and use a spray and unfortunately smoking cigarettes right now but do hope to quit again sooner or later. It was nice when I did quit for over 4 years not to smell and constantly feigning for a smoke but at this moment in time it’s nice to have a smoke and relax but will quit eventually I keep trying but not going to stress over it.
My heart goes out to you...we don’t need more turmoil in our lives than what we already have in our lives from our diagnosis. My thoughts are that, even though we are diagnosed as terminal, we never know when a cure might be found. Would hate to be cured from our breast cancer, only to find out we have lung cancer.
I was never diagnosed as terminal with stage iv to the lungs. It is not considered a terminal disease at least here in NY. It is considered incurable. Even my SSDI letter stated it was incurable. Women live for many many years with stage iv. There are other breasts cancers (triple negative, inflammatory) that are considered to be more deadly than stage iv hormonal breast cancer. Ovarian cancer and pancreatic cancer are two cancers that you do not feel any symptoms and by the time you do, it's already too late. To me there are also many other diseases out there that are worse than cancer. We have our sight, can walk, can talk, can hear, can comprehend. It's an illness that needs medication and monitoring like other types of serious diseases. I also think as being diagnosed when I was 57 was a blessing. I had done extensive traveling to Africa, Amazon, Peru, all over Europe and I had always been healthy rarely going to the doctor and never even having to stay overnight ina a hospital. I have smoked since I was 18 and never got lung cancer but got breast cancer.
Do what feels right to you. No one knows that but you. My husband switched from cigarettes to vaping a couple of years ago and said his lungs have never felt better. It also is less messy and doesn’t smell bad. It’s right for him.
Read up on vape pens before switching...the incidence with strokes with them is very high...kids in their 20’s are having strokes after 2-3 years use...some states are considering banning them...they will probably be off the market within a few years...cigarettes take 20-30 years to do damage...vapes are doing more damage within 5 😱
I agree. I live in New York. "E-cigarettes and vaping are being banned in indoor public areas in New York, after Gov. Andrew Cuomo signed a bill into law that will place the same restrictions on new and old nicotine delivery systems. ... When it takes effect next month, New York's new law will cover vaping under the state's Clean Indoor Air Act."
I feel you. I haven’t had courage to say on this site I smoke when I read how healthy everyone is becoming or is with the mbc.
I still smoke. Yes have tried everything many times-longest was 2 years but I gained so much weight, just missed smoking, got depressed and went back to it.
My kids are all former smokers.
Yes they told me I should stop when I was diagnosed with mbc. I didn’t say anything- I know they mean well. At this point of 65 soon 66 don’t think it will happen. I used to lie to myself I would quit but I have to be honest with myself- I have no desire now to stop. I don’t drink, don’t smoke pot- it’s my crutch,the cigs. I tried all the vapes-they hurt my chest coughing which never happened before.
So Bailey, that’s me. Thank you for broaching the subject. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Same here. To bones and lungs. That’s my crutch and only vice. I gave up trying to stop. I did that for years and tried everything - could not stay stopped. Thank you for sharing that. I know it’s a stigma now- at this point?!!!
LOL...we think alike. I have been stage iv with mets to lungs two years now and quite frankly it has not made anything worse nor do I feel worse nor have I ever had to get my lungs drained. It is not like quitting is going to make the cancer go away and many non-smoking women get cancer. I say it's your life and enjoy it.
Honey no one is judging you so please stop being so defensive. Its your life at the end of the day.
When i go to my oncology center i can literally smell the cigarette fumes on ppl who smoke, and I’m sure others can smell it on you too. Your kids are harassing you about smoking because they want you to stick around awhile longer. You can also ask your onco for ativan for anxiety.
If cancer has taught me one thing, eat clean, stop indulging in harmful behaviors like smoking and be my best self.
Honey is not endearing term it’s condescending and was never allowed in the nursing profession-we were taught to use persons name to show sensitivity and caring; just saying.
Hey, if you are walking daily and don’t have lung issues from MBC, then you are completely right to think that’s probably not going to kill you.! On the other hand, although I do not do medical marijuana at this point, I feel positive about it’s help with many issues and diseases. Snd I am very open minded about taking it just haven’t yet. Plus I am 100% convinced that it will dramatically help with anxiety while going down this road. So far theanine does the trick for me. Not sure how long that will work. You need to feel good about yourself! It’s a challenge for all of us for one reason or another. I honestly don’t think any of us here are judging you, just stating what we feel works for us and is better for good health. Trust me, we are all in the same boat.
It is never too late to quit smoking. Please quit. I know it's hard but the life you have is worth living don't dig yourself an early grave. Your kids love you and they want to see you try and live the best life you can. e cig are so dangerous bc they give you popcorn lung. You can do this... there is lots of help for quitting. selfchec.org/healthy-habits...
It seems unfair, even to me, but I had a friend's father who never smoked a cig in his life die from lung cancer nor was he around second hand smoke as his wife and my friend did not smoke. Obviously, we know its better not to smoke, but the only reason I am considering it now is bc of the money. I am finding it very hard especially now with the stress of going off medicaid where I paid nothing for my meds to starting Medicare next month where they expect me to pay thousands which I dont have so not worried about.
Heya Bailey, I’m also still smoking. I have quit for up to four months since my Mets was dx. I too am about 2 years into this diagnosis. My doctors have basically told me enjoy life, yes they know I smoke but neither has pushed all that hard on me to quit. I will continue to try quitting even though stage 4 isn’t curable now - who knows when it might be. I too have been pressured by family to vape or quit. I am single (don’t know about you), but smoking is my nervous habit. I think if I had a significant other to depend on and talk to it would be easier to stop. I also have moved (actually several times since this dx). I lose friends, don’t date because nobody wants to involve themselves with someone with a death sentence.
I don't get that women on here think having stage iv is a death sentence. I know somebody who has stage iv for five years and continues to work as a teacher for fifth grade and help run her family's farm. It is an incurable disease. It is NOT a death sentence. My onco said it is now considered a chronic disease in which I have to take medication and be tested every three months. Eventually the testing will be every six months. If you let people think it is a death sentence, then they may believe it. But hard to say that and be around for several years. I feel for teenagers who get hard to treat cancer and lose out on their childhood or younger women who get stage iv and now because of the meds can never have children. If I had to get it, so be it. It's random and basically I feel fine. I have some bad days and I do not go around telling everybody that it's terminal, because it is not. My friend was diagnosed with ovarian cancer after feeling some pain and within three months she died. Because by the time one feels the symptoms, it is already well advanced. She never smoked, drank, nothing. So its all relative and people do what they want to do. Maybe if you are telling your friends it's a death sentence, that is why they are staying away. Nobody wants to be around someone who goes on and on about their cancer. My friends know what I have and when we go out, we don't discuss it. If they ask, I say I am doing okay, it's just that I will be on treatment for life. I never not changed my diet either. I eat what I want when I want. Maybe because I don't stress about every little thing with the cancer. If I have a headache, I don't think OMG...it spread to my brain. To look at me (and I imagine most of you) people would not even know you have cancer unless you tell them.
Well I was diagnosed in 2017. I was diagnosed with my main complaint being malignant ascites. People with ascites don’t generally live over 58 weeks(and that is the outside number). When I have ascites I look about seven months pregnant, being 54 people would notice this. I was also by several doctors given 3-5 years to live. Don’t know where you are or when you were diagnosed? Maybe things have changed since me being diagnosed. I don’t wander around telling people I have cancer. I would however tell somebody I had been dating for a bit. Friends find out if they are close. I feel like I have been bullied by you and you are attacking the people on here who aren’t as lucky as you.
Disagreeing is not bullying and I just stated how I felt and how here in NY we considered it an incurable disease with treatment for life. How am I lucky? I have the same nasty side effects from the drugs that others have. I also have no family at all, live alone and most of my friends moved out of Brooklyn. I do not drive so I have no support at all. I go to all my appts and tests myself. When my friends ask how it is going, I say it's fine. Some days are better than others and leave it at that. I just don't go around talking about the side effects and the bad days, because there is no reason to and they do not know what to say. You are being way way oversensitive. Many years live years with stage iv. And if you think I am "bullying" you, then state that, don't speak for others on this board. Amused that you think I am lucky. Oh, for the record I was diagnosed on February 6, 2017!
I agree 5 cigarettes a day aren't going to kill you. If you should get lung Mets l would see if you could get an honest opinion from your doc about the 5 cigs. I had many lung cancer patients who smoked till they died it may have shortened their life a wee bit but it's their choice. Gaping l think is far more dangerous l haven't read all the research but l know it's there and it's harming our kids greatly. Don't torture yourself you have a right to make your decisions. I have lung Mets that's still small they don't even worry about it if it's less than 1 cm. Good luck, take care ♥️
NY now has anti-vaping laws the same as regular cigarettes now. They are finding that it is not any better for a person than a regular cigarette. Actually in these CBD oils and such, they are finding other ingredients. Obviously, not smoking is better for a person but I have been doing it since I was 18 and am now 59 and never spent a night in a hospital.
Smoking is more addictive than heroin. Though I am not a smoker, I can relate as I like sugar. I don't eat a lot and I am underweight so still indulge. I just started on Metformin so really feel guilty when I indulge. I also am food sensitive with Rosecea and I am glucose sensitive. I also am a picky eater. I don't like food with a lot of texture. I feel guilty because of the sugar and because I am not a big eater. I know I should eat several small meals a day, but though I have an appetite, I don't really enjoy food like other people do. I'm only 5' tall and I weight 98 pounds. I am very small boned. Both of my parents were small too. Guilt is such a nuisance, isn't it?
Your response that "the crutch of a cigarette is rather
cowardly approach to life and death matters" is absurd. We already have cancer. Is quitting going to make the cancer disappear. And you vape. Same thing. In NY they have now realized that vaping is just as bad as smoking cigarettes and have outlawed vaping with the same laws as they do for cigarettes. I have smoked from 18 to 59 years of age (my present age). I never once had to sleep overnight in a hospital and never got respiratory infections. No, I would advise young people against it, but at this point in time and at my age, I enjoy it so I am not going to stop.
Well that is okay, but I listen to my onco and she knows and has not said a word. To each his own. Nothing has changed with my lungs since I started treatment. It has not gotten worse or better. Obviously, I am not telling people its better to smoke but I have been doing it since I am 18 and am going through enough stress with meds, financial aspects of having cancer that the cigs calm me down and I enjoy them. I am now 59. If I would have gotten lung cancer, I would have said I have nobody to blame but myself. But I did not. I got breast cancer that spread to my lungs. And my onco says even those who never smoked, drink, are vegans, work out daily, run marathons are dismayed when they learned they have breast cancer because they were living such healthy lifestyles. She said cancer is not like that. It's random and you don't even have to have a member of your family that got it. One out of 8 women so that is a lot of women diagnosed with breast cancer.
I quit smoking the second I got my diagnosis 6 years ago. Didn’t smoke at all for 4 years than started having one here and there for a year I’m now full blown smoking I told my dr and he said to me with all your going thru you are not going to get any grief from me you are on plenty of cancer fighting meds. I want to quit because I feel like an idiot smoking with cancer I keep on trying but so far no success.
This is sensitive subject; but I want to say thank you to all the replies even the negative ones.
I tried Zyban back in the 90’s (Wellbutrin is genetic)...I quit right away on that but the treatment regime at the time was to be on it for 6 weeks. I then tried patches; I’d take it off before bed (cuz I got nightmares) have a smoke then go to sleep and have one in the morning; I was too scared to smoke while on the patch—but rationalized the two were ok. Then years later I tried Wellbutrin (budeproprion)—I got full body rash and had to discontinue.
The Chantix I tried around age 40 and felt suicidal legit! Had never felt that way before—I never made a Suicide plan; and called doc to discontinue! It was very very scary.
So I guess we should close this discussion as some are very passionate non-smokers who are just trying to express their opinion that it smells and how could you smile with METS etc—that was not what I was actually asking—it was how to deal with my children.
My INC knowsand every single appt for 20 years the Med assistant and primary doc always ask if I smoked and the dental hygienist and dentist—I think they’d be not doing their job to educate as they should all ask about domestic violence and BMI status. Funny though—all 3 of my oncologists 2 in Boston (one at Dana Farber, one at Mass Gen’l & my newest ONC & office staff have it in their chart and asked at my initial visit—we discussed my successes and failures and then it was not brought up again. I felt the respect from 3 oncologists that even though it’s a very stupid choice—it’s my choice. OMG everything you do even just breathing near a car or in LA or other cities is very harmful—the moral I’ll take from this story is have a drink or don’t; have a smoke or don’t; be Vegan and don’t use straws (big thing in California—I actually bought stainless steel straws to help the world) etc etc. this argument to smoke or not can go in for years—it’s obvious that it’s BEST to not smoke—but it’s a VICE and I’m an adult and I do respect others right to choose whatever they believe in: rite to life; right to die etc. shouldn’t bring that up—I’m learning; but I think my children will learn from what I’ve learned from this thread—to respect other people’s decisions even if they are clearly wrong as long as it’s not a direct effect on you; as you would like others to respect your decisions!
Thank you all; I don’t know if moderators can close this so no more arguments will develop.
I was taken aback as I didn’t expect that. We all have too much going on to deal with judgements and any pain or negative emotions that result from some of these comments.
Wishing everyone stays cool during this massive heat wave across the country in US this weekend. Hope to go to the beach and watch & hear the waves and do a bit of body surfing/boogie boarding or at least get my toes wet and splash round in salt water. I love the taste of that!
Luv n prayers to all! Hang in there! Thanks again!
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Goodbye to Ibrance . Gutted but not surprised. 
Good scan results today ! 🙂
Pain I. Breast
Dreading Scan.....
