Hi there!
Anyone getting hyper sensitive on these drugs. Lately it has been the slightest thing make me burst out in tears. It could be stress or lack of sleep but I’m trying to narrow it down.
Pretty embarrassing because it’s happened 2x at work 😕
Lynn
Hi there
I’m exactly the same..cry a lot..I cried at my last appointment and felt stupid as couldn’t say why. Went to see a live broadcast of La Traviata from the Met tonight and just cried all the way through..though I do at operas anyway!!
I’m on Ibrance and letrazole and I think it’s the combination of the drugs and thinking about the horrendous situation I find myself in..I think it’s probably normal..I think we all do well just living day to day..sometimes I can forget I have mbc but even then it’s at the back of my mind
My youngest daughter is getting married next October time and she and her chap have been looking at venues etc..I can’t get any enthusiasm going as I’m a bit scared I won’t be around for it which I think could be a bit morbid
Bit of a rant..sorry but I’m being honest
Barb xx
Yup! Same here! I just don’t want to appear emotionally disturbed...
I think if we were happy smiley people with this disease then we would definitely be deranged...people sometimes say I look well..and that sets me off crying
I’ve just told staff from work (I’m retired but still part own the business) that I’m not coming to the Christmas party..I just can’t face it..happy drunk people??.. no thanks!!
Barb xx
Day by Day...we got this!!
I think you're exactly right. It's all of it. We are living scan to scan. When I feel most together is when I am not thinking about mbc and not fixated on the fact that this is an incurable disease which is probably going to shorten my lifespan unless I get hit by an asteroid. The stress of all the treatments, the fatigue, aches and pains. This is not life as we knew it. And just when I am settled into some mind numbing tv, I get reminded that this is "Julie's new normal." Seems like there are cancer stories everywhere, and now I take them personally. They actually wound me. It takes a lot of mental strength to not succumb to a mindset governed by cancer.
Barb REALLY!! Who doesn't cry at La Traviata??!! I think ladies it is the time of the year. I am very emotional right now as well. I don't think its the drugs. I believe it is because we are faced daily with death and these damn statistics. Then we have all these people we love so very much and want to see our families grow, children marry and have children. And then we remember those that we have loved with all of our hearts and and lost and understand what those that we love feel now being faced with the possibility of losing us. It is not easy girls!!! The holidays bring all this to surface so much stronger. I just got back from a wedding out of town in which I cried much of the time. It was sooooo difficult to get it under control and I did a poor job. _over now so oh well.
You express this so well...I’m actually dreading Christmas..I’m having both my daughters and their partners for Christmas lunch ..they’re staying over Christmas Eve as well..I don’t think I’m going to cope..it was bad enough wrapping presents etc as I was thinking maybe this’ll be the last time I do this and I was crying all over the place..if I could I would disappear for a week and come back after the new year festivities
My husband is talking about holidays and stuff for next year and I’m not interested..in fact I must be a pain to live with..I used to be such an outgoing fun person but that was the old me
I’m ranting again..sorry ladies
Barb xx
I have been depressed and I’m wondering if it is the drugs. I have taken something for depression for years but it has stopped working since starting the drugs which is also when I found out I had cancer so not sure which is the cause.
Sarcie, I have been on and off antidepressants for decades. I have found elavil helpful. Keeps me from hitting rock bottom. When I do have a bad few hours or day, it passes. I have resigned myself that I will never be off elavil. I don't know that your medication isn't working. I think the cancer meds and the implications of this disease have shaken you to the core. It's all "normal," though now we know nothing is "normal" about the cancer lifestyle. Mortality was a concept, and I knew one day I'd die. I thought I'd be in my late 80s and go off in a dream. But now that spector follows me. Sometimes I can go days without paying it much mind. Then it hits. I have mourned myself and my lot often. I try not to be self pitying, and I made the conscious decision to get up every morning and live a full life. For now, I can do that as I don't "feel" like I have Stage 4 cancer. My kingdom for a cure! I am trying to reconsider everything I took for grated, and each day is its own little lifetime. You should see my bookshelves, lined with books on meditation, Buddhism, "living fearlessly." While I will NEVER call this disease a gift, it has forced to take a hard look at myself. Assumptions fall away. The bottom line is the people in your life, kindness, compassion. The small things like a great cup of coffee and a slice of my sister's orange cake (yes, cancer gobbles up sugar. I'll juice later...)...I am more present. When I find myself cussing rude drivers and other irritating people, I try to create a pause. It's a continuous effort. The journey really is the destination. Totally different mindset. Well there I go. Sorry for the diatribe. Talk to your doctor about your meds, maybe you can up the dose or try something else. Like everything else -- diet, faith, a favorite book or hobby, it helps. It just can't change our normal.
Well said Nstonerocks. Thank you for the reminder.
I too have the mood swings, tears and also irritability.
I really appreciate this site and the comments.
( on Faslodex and Ibrance).
Awaiting scan results after changing to Faslodex.
Me too probably get scanned in a few months
Thanks for the reply. I see her this week and hoping an add on will help so I can at least enjoy the holidays.
Lynn, I've been doing this living with mbc (E+, only been on hormonal tx plus bone meds, including Faslodex for over 9 years and year 7 of that with Ibrance for 10 cycles) for almost 15 years and have been to bc patient advocate training, several bc and mbc conferences, and I think many if not most of us have periods of time when we cry at the least thing. Alot of women I know burst into tears whenever they see those ads on TV that show abused or starved dogs and cats! Personally, I have really gone thru different stages emotionally. For me, the first couple of years were the most difficult and around the end of that time, or maybe a bit further in, I had a long period when I could not sleep without Rx sleeping meds. I think I took Ambien for over a year, then started having brief (seconds) episodes of confusion. So switched to Lunesta. Alot of the women I've met who are living with mbc have used meds for sleep, anxiety, and/or depression since being diagnosed. I take a couple of Ativan or Xanax before any MRI because the noise makes me want to hit somebody! lol Not my normal response to stress! And Effexor, an anti depressant, was the treatment of choice for hot flashes from hormonal tx. I've been on that, the long acting form, 75 mg three times a day, for most of the time I've been in treatment. Depleting our estrogen does cause real changes in the brain, impacts the neurotransmitters, so feeling different is because of that and not because we are weak or bad or anything negative. There is nothing good about this cancer itself but over time we can come to terms with it and have some happy, even joyous times, again. My daughter got married when I was a bit over 3 years in to living with mbc and I was able to absolutely enjoy the day, seeing old friends, and even felt okay about seeing my former husband and his family. I'd been remarried for 5 years at the time, and my current husband had a good time, too. I can't help smiling right now as I remember that day and the joy I felt seeing my daughter marry a good man and get a lovely little step daughter, too. I stopped working and went on disability at age 57, 8 months to the day after getting the diagnosis and have never regretted that. I'm an Episcopal priest and the first funeral I officiated at was for a parishioner who had been one of my first metster supporters and advice givers, especially about wigs and other fashion stuff, who died about 4 months after I started treatment. Every body, including me (!!!!) wondered how I would hold up, but it ended up being like every other funeral for somebody I knew and cared about. I did my crying well before and after the service and nobody who didn't know I also had mbc would never have known. Though I haven't worked full time, I have volunteered and serve the local police dept as their chaplain and also have answered phone calls for a national bc telephone hot line. I still feel like me inside, though I am alot more fatigued than before mbc and I do not get anywhere near as much stuff done! Of course, I don't know how I would feel at 72 without cancer! Anyway, I wanted to reassure you that tears and strong feelings are not unusual for us but it's wise to let your onc know and help you figure out if it's a side effect of meds or just normal living with this lousy rotten cancer stuff. Meds may help if it is too much for you. Be good and kind to yourself!
Thank you so much for the reply! Haven’t really spoken to my doc about this but I have an appointment in January so I’ll bring it up. Again, it’s the worst at work and since I’m a school teacher, I worry about my credibility...but, you’re right, I need to be kind to myself. Thanks again!
I think you are amazing to continue working as a teacher! My daughter teaches Middle School and gives me glimpses into just how much teaching has changed since she was a student and even more since I was in school! So much stress from all directions! I "retired" early at 58 seven months into treatment and there was just no way I could have kept working and I was having a great response to treatment with manageable side effects! Be gentle with yourself! I hope you get a long and wonderful holiday break!
Before I started the Ibrance/Faslodex combo, I broke down at my oncologists, thinking that switching to these was the “beginning of the end”. Not true as I am feeling fine and doing well on them. I can’t blame the drugs for feeling that way because I wasn’t on them yet! It was the stress from living with MBC.
I retired this week from a job I loved. Before my retirement party, I told my yoga therapist that I was afraid I would check out during the celebration and cry the whole time. She had me do visualization exercises ahead of time where I imagined I was there receiving everyone’s kind words and love and allowing myself to feel the emotions then, ahead of the actual event. It worked and I was able to enjoy the celebration and everyone there with only a few tears. Maybe this technique would be useful to others who know of potentially emotionally-triggering events ahead of time.
Hi there
I was planning to retire July 2018 but received the mbc diagnosis in April..I had to stop then as I was a total wreck..I had a big party organised at the races but I cancelled it as I knew I couldn’t deal with it..it was supposed to be a celebration of all my work and devotion but I felt now that there was nothing to celebrate..people were trying to persuade me to go saying things like ‘it’ll cheer you up’ but I couldn’t see the point
People just don’t get it..they think you’ll have some treatment for a while then be ok...if only!!
Barb xx
Hi Barb,
If you didn't feel up to attending the party, then it was your prerogative to cancel. No one should have made you feel guilty about that. Three days after I first met my oncologist (and found out the disease was metastatic) I told my friends I would not be attending their wedding anniversary party. I had planned to go when I thought the disease was early stage, but I was still feeling numb and emotional, and I didn't think it would have been fair on my friends if I had attended their party.
You are right that people do not get it unless they also have metastatic cancer. I sometimes hear: "Are you still having treatment?" Or "When is treatment ending?" from people, some of whom had cancer but are now cured. I just let them know that treatment is ongoing and leave it at that, as I have not told any friends everything. I don't think they would be able to handle it. I have come close to telling a few, but I just couldn't follow through and tell them everything. When I told one of my friends whose daughter died from leukaemia as a teenager that I have a chronic illness, she said I didn't. She must have thought I was exaggerating.
Have a good day, Barb! Hopefully you can go horseriding again soon. I have taken care of four pets so far today. I just have a client's cat to feed later on and then I am finished for the day.
Sophie x
Thanks for sharing! I’ll try that!!
Perfectly normal with the meds and our situation. Talk to your onc about an antidepressant. It certainly helps. With love and hugs, Marianne
Hi Lynn (nice name! 
),
I felt the exact same way, especially during the Ibrance break week, i.e. at the depth of the fatigue, when I was on the Letrezole/Ibrance combo. I'm not sure why, but the emotions seem to be much better controlled now that I'm on Faslodex/Ibrance. Maybe it has something to do with the hormonal effects of these drugs? Or just the deep fatigue? I definitely discerned a cycle to it, which helped me feel some "control" and predictability, i.e. I could explain to people around me that, yeah, I'm tired and weepy, but will be better in a few days!
Be well,
Lynn
Everybody here has great advice! What I have come to realize is that depression goes with the diagnosis we've received. If we didn't have it, we'd be delusional! If we try to deny it, it will come out in very strange places... I spent my first year or two after diagnosis crying and then, I couldn't cry anymore. I was done. Also, I started with Lexapro which really helped as I can get obsessed with things. Be kind with yourself and don't get caught up in what you think others will want you to feel. They don't know what they'd do as they've never faced this. Not to mention that everybody needs to deal with this in their own way. The "she's so brave" stuff is crap. Bravery doesn't cure this thing. We didn't get this disease because we were acting incorrectly, not happy enough, not brave enough, not pretty enough, etc. We got it because our cells went nuts. End of story. As long as it's who you are, cry, laugh and frankly, take care of yourself -- the rest will fall into place.
Hi Diamags,
I agree with you. We will never be the same again after receiving this diagnosis.
I am sure people mean well when they say we are "brave" and so on, but I do not find it particularly helpful. I would rather see a cure for us all rather than having to just get on with things and not knowing what is in store for us.
I remember when I was first diagnosed, friends who were personally affected by cancer (either themselves or a close family member) offered me lots of advice. Some of it was helpful, but some was not. They all assumed I would be having chemotherapy, so they filled me in on neutropenia, how to avoid infection and so on, but none of it applied, as I have had hormone therapy instead. The fact is, I have defied all of their expectations. As a result, I have found that a lot of people don't know how to relate to me as a sick person. I don't look or act sick, and I have more energy and feel healthier than I did before. But they also don't see me when I am sitting at home thinking ahead to the future and wondering if I will live into my 40s and 50s, whether I will get to grow old with my husband and do all the things I still want to do with my life.
Take care,
Sophie x
Sophie, you hit the nail on the head. The uncertainty of the future is a truly terrible feeling. And if we have to cry now and then, so be it. It's the natural response to the situation. P.S. I hope you continue with your good health.
Thank you! It really helps being able to connect with you and others who "get" this disease. I hope your health is improving too since you started treatment. x
I went thru Ibrance and Falsodex as well, unfortunately not with the greatest results. I'm on regimen 5 or 6 now, losing track. I just know I wish so much we could find something that would hold this monster down for some time. It is so scary going from chemo to chemo to chemo. I have bad days, and ok days. Everything I know reminds me that I am on borrowed time, and I am not ready. People will comment I look "great", I'm anything but that. I say it's ok to have our times of sadness and tears, so never feel bad about that. MBC is horrible, don't be hard on yourself. We are still human.
Reading some of these posts is actually therapy for many of us. I do feel like a test animal and don't mind making suggestions to my oncologist from time to time. We're all playing defensive medicine and when there's a discovery of a new drug combination that appears to get better results, many practices share this information and consider it for their patients. I do not go to a large hospital, but get help from a smaller clinic and really appreciate the care and attention and concern shown by the medical staff that know me by name and regularly consult about personal matters and medical issues. They are outstanding.
It is really nice to see that all of us have our moments of crying and getting irritable. It happens to me too, and it is because we are taking medications specially Falsodex and Letrozole that are hormone blockers plus having this MBC diagnosis is not easy at all, a lot of stress and we are humans. We can understand each other and it really helps me a lot when I am on my down moments, thanks and God bless all of us
I don’t think it’s wrong to withhold information from family..my favourite auntie who is now 80 would be so upset so I haven’t told her..my in-laws aren’t people I particularly care about and never see so they don’t know either..as I see it mbc isn’t the most interesting thing about me anyway and it’s the worst when people give you ‘the look’ or say inappropriate things...I’m quite a private person in that respect and prefer to be treated normally
Barb xx
My favorite line of the weekend was from
My”best friend” from high school, always been self centered — said at a wedding Saturday nite as I was a bit emotional thinking of my children etc. ( only 1 of my 4 children are married and one boy is planning on getting engaged next month) “ you should be glad that you are so lucky to have 4 children”. Of course, but what the hell does that have to do with all this!
Hi Lynn,
I'm not on the same medication as you, but I can relate to feeling emotional at times. I can normally handle it, but if I see an advert on TV about cancer, I have to turn it over. I don't think it's just one thing (such as the side effects of treatment) but a combination of factors that can contribute to feeling tearful, irritable and down. Just hearing you have been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer is enough to make you feel emotional, and unsure of what the future has in store. I noticed you are a schoolteacher, so hopefully the upcoming school holidays will help you take some time out for yourself.
When I was initially diagnosed in March of this year I was told the disease was early stage and that after going through a course of treatment I would be "cured" within a year or so. But I had further tests (MRIs, CT scans, PET CT etc) just to make sure the medical team knew what they were dealing with, which showed that the disease was actually metastatic. So after coming to terms with the fact that I would be having treatment for a year I had to get my head around the fact that I now had an incurable disease in my 30s and that treatment would be ongoing for the rest of my life.
Take care,
Sophie x
IBRANCE/FULVESTRANT...
Fatigue with Ibrance
Ibrance - to start or not?
ibrance and diarrhoea 
