Friends

Okay, so I am so tired of all my friends asking me how I'm doing & how great I look and how nice my hair is!!!! Ugh!!! I hate my hair, I gained a lot of weight, feel fatigued, depressed, have some new pains in chest. Had mastectomy June 2015, finished chemo last January 2016.

I dread going to parties where my friends always circle around me and all they talk about is my health and how great I look. I'd rather they say nothing at all. Just hi, how are you, like everyone else.

7 Replies

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  • A lot of people are afraid for you and don't know what to say, so they say the first thing that pops into their heads They are trying to be supportive but their words can have the opposite effect. Maybe you could try being honest with them and say what a friend of mine told people when they complimented them, "please don't, it reminds me that I don’t look good. Compliments are great but it is nicer to know you care about me” Soon this will be over but remember that they are trying to be comforting but alas falling short of the mark But maybe you can let them in on other ways they can be supportive

  • I know but since they are really trying to be there for you, turning a blind eye might be the best way to go. Hang in there as it will soon be over. It is good to have a place to go and vent

  • Thanks for your input. It can be so complicated...

  • So glad for this community!

  • I really empathize with you. I think we've all experienced something like this. It's tough to politely deflect people who are overly concerned. I've found that humor often works. Something like, "Enough about me, let's talk about you..." or "Thanks, but that was a few years ago and I'm focusing on moving forward, not looking back..." Or just saying nothing, as Daf10 suggested, but that's tough!

  • I understand completely. Maybe you could talk to one friend honestly and they can spread the word. I think people really don't know what to say. I know when I was first diagnosed, I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want them to see CANCER and lose myself. Well, now that I'm going "bald and beautiful" its all out there for everyone to see. I have realized though, that I can't see my bald head, so it doesn't bother me. Hang in there!

  • SeeSwee6 Tell them how you feel if there your friends they'll stick by you. Hopefully this will pass and you'll feel better. If anything at all happens you'll know who your real friends are. Jo Taylor

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