My husband had a heart attack in April. He now has 5 stents and is taking medication. He is tired, impatient, and seems constantly angry. He is directing his anger at me.
Has anyone else experienced this? I woukd be grateful for any advice; the situation is becoming untenable.
Thank you.
I just wrote about my experience,it's very tough,I chose group therapy,tell him he is not alone,and with you and maybe a support group he can start to be at peace again,again I feel his pain he ain't alone
I was exactly the same.....its horrid and i hated myself even more for being horrid to my wife after my heart attack. When she told me she was off for a break i didnt speak to her for a day or two... after a week i soon realised how lucky i was to have someone who cares. So dump him for a week... and it will wotk a miracle!!
I had anger towards others and I recognised it was happening. I went to my GP and got referred to councelling best thing I ever did. Now I can control my anger. It was something that was not there before. Councellor said it was like PTSD. Really helped me. And started doing Mindfulness which I still do and can now control it.
Whilst I was never angry with those close to me, in fact I was overwhelmed by the support & love of so many. I was angry at others, I never err smoked, never ate junk food, always excercised and yet still had OHCA & I’d see overweight middle blokes drinking, eating fired food etc & I’d be quite cross. Still I had councilling for the anxiety I was feeling. But either way it helps no end. Just talk to someone impartial and let it all out. That will help him if he can accept it and go
Yes, I was very angry and the outbursts seemed almost uncontrollable at times. Believe when I say you've done nothing wrong, it is that we are very angry this happened to us and not being able to do what we used to be able to do. We are not even aware of how this is hurting the ones we love the most. I know its hard but don't take any of it personally. Take care of you the best you can so your needs are being met so that you can then deal with how things are with your husband. It is very early in the process of creating that new life post heart attack. It will get better as you both learn how to deal with everything in a new way. I'm very sorry you're both going through this. In some ways it is every bit as hard for you as him as you're having to mourn the loss of how he and things used to be and deal with how he is now.
My wife had councilling and then talked to me. I have an ongoing condition which cannot be cured. All she could see was an ilness not a man and I didnt help? because ofmy ilness which makes me have irratic sleep paterns we sleep apart and she said that every time she walked into bedroomit was like hospital, pills and potions, blood pressure monitor oxygen monitor and my diary! I putthem all in a draw and she started seeing a man again
January 22 2015-I was a healthy 57y/o petite woman. A friend called to ask abt going to dinner. I was @ work&tired but decided to meet her for early dinner. It was 6:00pm- I remember getting in my car, driving for abt 5 min.& my memory stops. The rest of my story is what I was told as I have No memory of anything after that. Apparently,we arrived@ the same time- parked my car, walked in, sat down,ordered my green tea& chatted for a bit(6:10) she told me I started to sweat, put my head down& collapsed ( IN A RESTAURANT )! They quickly laid me on the floor ( ick), turned me on my side, I aspirated and died! Ambulance was called ( had I not gone to restaurant they wud have never gotten to me in time).6:20 Emt arrived- I had no heartbeat- CPR( broke 3 ribs), shocked 3 times on the way to hospital but my heart wouldn’t stay beating. I was dead. Arrived ER 6:40( in rush hour - how they got me there in 20. Min is unbelievable )Rushed into ER- stented @widowmaker put into a medically induced coma. My friends( who r my family) were told to prepare themselves for my death. They were told that nobody had any idea if I would come out of coma, have brain damage or organ failure ( vegetative state). If I would have been asked to decide abt saving me with those possibility - I wouldnt have gambled on living under any of those choices! They shud have just let me go! It was my time. 3 days later they brought me out. I still have no memory of anything. I had no idea what the hell was happening. I stayed in the hospital 2 wks. My left vocal cord was paralyzed ( from fast intubation- 9 months later my vocal cord came back)pneumonia ( aspirated into my lungs)left part of my heart completely damaged,& anoxic brain damage( frontal cortex). The Dr put my on 16 meds!!16! Did I mention I’m 5’1-100 lbs. I couldn’t leave hospital cause my blood pressure was critically low( found out months later they had overdosed me so much it lowered my BP)! I thought I wud never feel better so I closed my 40y/o business I worked my whole life building.
Because I was overdosed I was in&our of hospital -2wks home- 2 was hospital!! I was having horrible angina ( nobody explained what that was) I thought I was dying again! My stent closed- heart cath showed ) Dr did nothing. 3 rd heart cath( new Dr) our larger stent over too small stent.. to date I have had 5 heart caths( horrible still have groin artery pain from that.
The most hurtful part- nobody understood what was happening to me- thought I was just mean- said inappropriate things-& everyone just told me I’m self absorbed & to get over it. I had nobody to talk to- my relationship ended(20 years), my friends left me(after all the hospital stays they were over it). The emotional toll was sever! I asked so many questions but got few answers-& if they told me anything my short term memory is not so good and don’t remember what they told me- frustrating! My best friend moved in to take care of me! To this day most friends have abandoned me- couldn’t explain I had a HEARTATTACK& DIED- there are major changes in my personality-nobody understands or really cares!
I still have no memory( feel like I’m losing my mind), PTSD sever- angina scary, I still feel our of control,depressed & scared that I will drop dead any second. Can’t get beyond the fear! Therapy didn’t help!
There is only a 5% chance of survival ( our of hospital survival rate)- honestly, I really wish they had let me die/ waiting for the “ next one” is dibilitating The loneliness ( from everyone leaving me- even my out of state family never even came to sit with me- my brother and I don’t speak anymore- the hurt abt everything is tremendous- still with every pain I’m just waiting for the next one- this is 3 years ago- I’m still scared. I try to do everything around the house as fast as possible when think abt working around the house- want to get everything done in case I die again- yes still suffering PTSD..
That’s my story..
Hello
My partner was the same if you read my post you can see I really went through not good times. He had a sca last March 2017 followed by another a week later. It’s getting better but he still gets very mad an quite short tempered. It is very hard for you an I feel upset you are going through what am
Karon
After I had my heart transplant I thought my behaviour to everyone was fine but I was wrong my wife told me I was a angry and rude I spoke to papworth and I was given sertraline 100mg a day I felt great I was back to myself I've been off them for about 4 months now still good
You just need to get your strength back.
Your body went through a major event you do not need anti depressants to make you happy. Sheesh these doctors.
It’s like you get stabbed and the doctors instead of bandaging you they give you happy pills.
It`s been a long time since my heart attack 5 years I think,and foolishly I never took the help needed. My anger still spills over ,at times . The memory loss, muscle wasting and inability to do what I used to do is for me,so damned frustrating .Please get the help that is offered now . It`s not you that is at fault in the least but your raging at what has happened
Hi I realise it’s an old post. But I can relate.
I was 38 when I had a heart Attack and 2 stents.
I was similarly angry always.
The thing is 2 years later I realised.
The heart attack had weakened me in ways I never realised. I was confused and felt bad.
Through rehab and gym sessions I got my strength back. It took me 1. 1/2 years befor I was strong again.
Help him to identify this. It’s not always psychological only. The physical weakness plays a big part.
After all the body went through a major event so he will be angry and grumpy!
It will take a while but he will be okay again.
Just learn to identify this and help him to get his strength back.
Good luck.
With pandemic issues an online zoom may help. After someone is thrown into heat issues anger may be a part of the grieving process for him, we kinda lose ourselves in the process. Meds sometimes have reactions to us and not feeling well. I do think thier doctors need to know.My husband misdirects anger to me and seriously, abuse in any form is not appropriate, stress 24/7 will take its toll. you may not change others but you may find a counselor to help yourself cope.
My husband had a widowmaker heart attack on 12/26/21 with 2 stents, then had 2 more stents and a balloon angioplasty on 3/8/22. Every day he has become more and more angry, irritated, withdrawn, passive and it all comes out on me and me only. I have done everything I can to help him recover, peacefully, healthy and fun things. I even got a new job so that he could quit his physically laborious job, so that he could focus on his recovery. He is just consistently becoming angrier and hateful towards me, when these issues weren't ever something that existed prior...it's been devastating to me personally, but I have no one to talk to about this since most of our friends haven't experienced this kind of health issue just yet. I'm at a total loss. So, I completely empathize and hope that you both can find peace with yourselves and each other very soon....as I hope the same for me and my husband as well. Thank you for sharing. At least I'm not totally alone in this. I just want my husband to feel better physically & emotionally.
Am I having a heart attack?
Follow on from my heart attack
