Dr Jekyll Mr. Hyde Personality... - Restless Legs Syn...

Restless Legs Syndrome

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Dr Jekyll Mr. Hyde Personality...

11 Replies

This RLS thing is worse than RA by a mile. I can't hold down a decent

paying job because on quite a few days a week, I am so exhausted that

I could smash my head into a wall and it wouldn't faze me. I actually am

numb with exhaustion at times. I tend to sit like a bump on a log and

get a lot less done around the house than I need to...I am 6 loads of

laundry behind and my floors are a screaming for a good washing. ..

I am financially not well off and haven't been needing all of my needs

or that of my family in many cases. My husband carries the burden

of picking up extra jobs and helps tremendously around the house.

I look and feel like a bum. I don't even care some days....

I have a family that lost a really fun mom..I am not the person that I

was at one time. I miss that girl... the older I get (I'm 45) the more

of me gives into RLS...and RA..I am losing some independence and

a ton of self confidence.

The guilt of making my husband and my high school age kids work to

make up for the good paying job that I lost because I couldn't even

function anymore is just killing me. .There is no college funds anymore

nor is there a savings left for us. This disease crap has taken that...

I CAN turn around my attitude pretty easily when the right circumstance

comes up. I can be nicer to strangers and to anyone outside of my home

than I am to my own family. Why can't it be the other way around?

I am not a really bitchy person to live with but I have said things that I

regret and have done hurt people's feelings to make myself feel better.

I am guilty of that...Later I beat myself up over and over again for being

like that. I find myself "Fixing" relationships more than I am enjoying them.

I always feel like I have to explain things...and it's always..."I'm so tired"

With this admission, maybe I can give it another shot to say less and

be more mindful of other people who are very happy to see daylight.

Maybe I can forgive someone for being cheerful in the morning rather

than be irritated by them...here's to morning in the USA..

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11 Replies

Your blog made me sad, i cant help you in anyway. But i DO understand how you feel, altho i have only got RLS to deal with.

I live on my own, my children have grown and left home, my son has moved away but not too far, but i dont see as much of him as i used to..My daughter lives close to me, 5mins away.

So when i have bad nights and dont get the sleep my body craves for, i am useless the next day, toooooo tired to function, things dont get done because my energy level is ziltch. I adopted a little dog 2 months ago, and i DO get her out for a walk, but thats about all that gets done, maybe push some clothes into the washing machine. I cant get a nap because as soon as i lay down, off my legs go. On those days, i dont even cook a meal for myself, i usually have toast and a bowl of cereal. And i count the hours til bedtime, hoping i will sleep that night. But when you have a family that needs taking care of, i dont know what others do to cope.

I am sure there are others with the same problem, i hope someone can give you some ideas on how they deal with their RLS and take care of their family...

Irene.UK.

in reply to

I have two bloodhounds that sleep endlessly. They are lazy porch dogs.

They get up when someone comes over or when they have to do their

business.

I get in this dark depression every so often. It's been a killer to stay

awake and get caught up with laundry but I did that since. I just have

to drag myself outside to the garden to pick vegetables to make

some food for everyone when they get home. Then I am going to

try to nap if my legs will allow me to.

=) Thank you for care and concern. You are very sweet. =)

Cobourg profile image
Cobourg

I do hope that you get some rest tonight and tomorrow is a better day for you.

Margaret/Cardiff

Tomorrow is always a better day, brighter outlook and thanks. =)

Karen

thedragon profile image
thedragon

Hi Yikes I do know exactly how you feel. I'm ok at the moment but sometimes get so low that the lack of quality of life makes me wonder if its worth it. Especially knowing rls just gets worse as one gets older. All my kids are grown and out in the world now so I don't have as many urgent demands on my time. It's just a vicious circle. Rls tiredness depression which makes the rls worse. . I also lost my best dog Friend of 14 years recently and that's been so hard.

Hope you have a good day tomorrow.....love from me

nightdancer profile image
nightdancer in reply tothedragon

Well, I am with you there, dragon. had to put my dog down yesterday, so stll gettiing thu that . I had him for 10 yrs. They are alot of company, and were our friends, for sure! As for depression, that and PTSD and panic disorder and severe sleep deprivation is what put me on disability- I am now 56.

I had put it off and put it off as far as filing for it, but I did get it (US), and it is not easy to do over here any more, but still easier than the UK, I think..

Karen- I know abot those valleys of despair we fall into. The more you feel you have to explain yourself, the more depressing it gets. so, we have to get MAD at the RLS, like it is some beast, and it is! We have RLS, but we cannot let it have us! I used to be hysterical at the thought of trying to make it to work every morning. It got to the point where I quit my jobs, started my own cleaning business, so I could set my own hours, etc. But, then I got TOO busy, and most of my clients were elderly, and I did a lot of things for them besides cleaning. so I wnet back to work for the Council on aging, became a home health aid and most of my people were diabetic or heart patients. so, I did that for a few yrs, and then just had to stop. did fulltime caregiving for my father for 8 yrs who had parkinson's, Alzheimer's and was bipolar. He died 3 yrs ago. My mother is 84 and had triple byass surgery and heart failure. The last8 months ave been nothing but hopsitals,, doctors and more doctors, and 5 months of cardiac rehab Now SHE is strong woman! she and I finally feel FREE. We still have 4 and 1/2 months left of this year, so we figure we have earned a break. so putting the dog down yesterday was like the poison cherry on top. so, I say the rest of the year WILL be better, or else! We have definitely had enough. thank goodness she does not have RLS, is all I can say. so, karen, we all feel low at times; some times are way lower than others, and I do not know how I would take care of kids. But the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is stay involved with support groups, so you can vent to us, and not to your family. :o) We can take it! We all know what you are going thru, well most of us do. I never had kids, but I like to say "I had parents" whihc was just as much work. :o) But, do NOT let RLS win! have you looked at the RLS Rebel's web site? rlsrebel.com she is all about attitude towards RLS and she has never taken meds for it. Butm she is in her 3rd round of ovarian cancer, had to have part of her intestines removed, and she still fights the good fight, although her fight is with cancer now. We wnet round and round with the doctors over her anti nausea meds. Lots ofthem can and WILL make RLS worse; there are very few anti nausea meds RLSer's can take. so, no matter how bad it gets, I jump on the computer, pick one of my groups to go to, and it makes me feeel more in control of my own life f ibcan help out one person at least once a day. That is how I cope. Coping techniques are also key to self preservation. :)

in reply tonightdancer

It's impossible to read this and NOT feel your understanding.

I have gone onward to look at that website and have found

some uplifting, but hard trials of people who are in my boat or

worse off. I am on that site so much in the past 2 or 3 days..

I am just going to dive into my bed because my eyes won't

stay open anymore. It's 11:30pm in the USA...Goodnight.

Sorry that I was down in the dumps today. I have a high fever and I

am feeling really lousy just now. I guess that's why I felt so crumby

today and spouted off frustration.

I keep getting chills, then I sweat it out. I have some kind of bladder

infection going on, I am sure so I am going to the doctor in the morning.

My lower back is hurting quite a lot. =./ My sister in law suggested

that I may have a very tiny kidney stone that I might be passing.

Either way, 9 hours until I find out. My body will have to hang in there.

I don't think that I am a no good loser and I do know that I have

good things about me. Lack of rest makes me say things and act

weird. I am going to find a way to make up some money somehow

but for now, I have to get on some medicine to clear up whatever

this illness is that struck me today suddenly.

It's 11:30pm here in the states and my legs are relaxed, tired as

I am so I am hitting the bed...for much needed rest. I took a bigger

dose of Vicodin than what was prescribed for myself...so my entire

body feels like lead..heavy and relaxed.

Thanks for kind words and understanding, coping techniques and

your own unique stories. Sometimes that's all that is required for

me to turn the page and try to start over. Loving you guys all already.

Karen

Karen, never feel sorry for how you feel when having a rant and rave on here. It helps to spout off and it can be done right here on a support group. Because we ALL understand.

I hope you feel better soon. And no one is a no good loser, dont be so hard on your self hun.

Listen to nightdancers advise, its always good.

thedragon profile image
thedragon

Nightdancer..you sure have had your fair share of stuff...but you come across as very strong. So sorry to hear of your dog.. words are not enough but I am feeling for you. I miss my jess such a lot. Thankyou for your reply

I started on antibiotics. I am suffering a bladder/ kidney infection as

I thought. I slept like a rock for 8 hours. Vicodin is my temporary

answer and I am so sorry to my UK friends out there that cannot

have some. I have one more dose for tonight. It's a Godsend in

times like this.

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