Tea and Sympathy!

[thedragon]

I have been coming on this site now for quite a while and really love the sympathy, help, information and all the lovely people I have met on here.

But i am getting really tired of the way some members seem to feel its ok to put others down and talk in such a patronising way . I am sure I will be banned for this blog but its getting beyond funny!!

I have brought this to the attention of admin in the past, but it seems some folk are allowed to say whatever they want , however they want, while others are silenced or driven away! Many have left recently due to this issue.

There are ways of getting a point across without belittling the original poster and driving them to tears...its not on folk!!!

Many people on here are struggling and come here for tea and sympathy and dont need comments stuffed down their throats in such an uncaring way! I am quite together and can take whatever you want to throw my way...but others arent..

If you have nothing nice to say then dont say anything at all!!!!

and then to go on other sites laughing about it all ??? well!!!!

[deeds14]

I totally agree thedragon. Places like this are for support, and sharing experiences. Abuse and negative attitudes towards other has no place here. I've only been here a short time thought and haven't seen anything like what you're describing.

[thedragon in reply to deeds14]

its been quiet for a while but seems to be starting again!

[deeds14 in reply to thedragon]

What other sites do you mean? Are there other RLS forums?

[thedragon]

I dont really want to comment any furthur on my blog, but yes there are other forums out there, just googl RLS forums and quite a few come up! x x x

[thedragon in reply to thedragon]

ps....be wary of facebook groups!!!!!

[gypsy49 in reply to thedragon]

know that well......

[Hidden]

yep

[Rish]

It's nice of you to put this blog ! I do not use the forum as much as I use to due to something I said and it was not liked by some! I only pop on now and then. I am sure people don't mean to much by what they say its only the way of that person and they don't realise they do it! I have a few friends like that and it can be hurtful and they don't realise they are doing it! Hopefully it will sort it's self keep smiling the worlds a funny place !

[Hidden]

Hi ,

I am am very sad to hear that certain people think it is okay to go on other sites and laugh at people who are genuinely trying to learn about their condition. It smacks of bullying to me.

As you say, we are not all strong enough to cope with the rough tongues of these people who seem to think only they know best.

This is a forum to help people, and where we can talk to each other, not push ones own opinions , as the only way to think, we all have a right to our own opinions, if I find this other site I shall be making my feelings known, although as you say, it seems as if the person or persons involved can get away with what ever they like!

Best wishes,

Cazx

[Raphael]

I watch and read all these comments from a distance. I will be reporting this be assured. And for all who have been upset by this just cling to the good folk on this forum. The others are just SAD PEOPLE so just ignore them.

From someone whoe knows.

Raphael

[insect]

Unto thine own self, be true

Bullying is un-acceptable. Stating un-truths is also un-acceptable. We need to remember that some sufferers are further 'down the line' in understanding this condition, others are newly here to get advice.

[Hidden in reply to insect]

True insect, but theres understanding the illness, and theres understanding the sifferers also,so i think the best thing we can do for each other, is to be kind, and be patient with them, that goes a long way i think, and if the experts dont have all the answers, im sure as hell i dont

[insect]

I agree. I think the condition is more 'common' than Doctors realise?

[Tiredparent Restless Leg Syndrome]

The Administrators of this site have been carefully monitoring the comments following this blog and the one entitled 'Apparently RLS is now classed in America as a psychiatric disorder!'. We hoped that people would feel that all had been said that needed to be said and walk away. Clearly that hasn't happened.

As we have previously stated, we do not wish to intervene and play 'Big Brother' unless absolutely necessary and hope that as adults, people will treat each other with kindness and respect. The forum is supposed to be a safe place where people can talk about their RLS and gain help, support and friendship.

The guidelines below say:

•'Be in the spirit of the site: to share, inform and support

Please don't do this:

•Name and shame identifiable individuals

•Be abusive, malicious or deliberately misleading'

If people break the rules of the site, such as advertising products or naming and shaming - as stated above, then yes, we will step in.

Our role is not to act as judge and jury. However, the situation that has developed is complex and involves lots of people. People are getting hurt and are feeling unsupported which is not true to the spirit of the site. It is debatable whether people are being abusive or malicious. Although no one has named and shamed, it is very clear who the comments are directed at and so they have effectively been named and shamed.

In a forum, especially one with so many members, there will be differences of opinion. What do you expect us as administrators to do? Intervene like teachers in the playground? Ban or restrict someone if they say something which upsets someone else? We could easily delete all the comments in this and the other blog but then the good stuff in them is lost along with the bad. We are normal RLS sufferers with our own families and lives. We do not have the time or inclination to 'police' the site in this way. Please do not bring onto our forum what is mentioned in other RLS forums as it is not helpful. Some are private between groups of RLS sufferers so what is said is not necessarily visible to a wider audience.

More than enough has already been said in these forums.

PLEASE CAN WE ASK THAT NO MORE POSTS ARE ADDED TO THIS.

If you want to send me a private message, you are very welcome.

With thanks

Rosie Braidley (tiredparent)

Vice Chair RLS-UK and site administrator

[Daragh]

Good evening all,

Having read through various recent threads I would like to strongly reiterate what Rosie wrote. Once again there are undercurrents, unhelpful undercurrents, to some of the comments being posted. Once again these comments are being used to subtly attack other forum members. We have previously requested that people do not do this and for the past few weeks it was very encouraging to see that this was being respected. This seems to have changed over the past few days.

Please treat each other with respect. If you attempt to undermine another user, to bully them, to embarass them or to subtly 'have a dig' at them, we will take action. We will not be issuing any further warnings. Those of you who we feel are breaching the rules will be immediately restricted or banned. If you wish to continue using this forum please respect the rules.

Thank you.

Daragh (Chair, RLS-UK)

[ookla]

If I've ever done or said anything that made anyone feel uncomfortable, I humbly apologize. I tend to use sarcasm as a coping mechanism.

[thedragon in reply to ookla]

You haven't ookla!!! X x x