Hi My father in law has psp last 3 years. Up till now he has his wife help getting up washed and dressed.
Long story short yesterday care was put in place from today as mother is having her cataract done soon. Today he just got himself up showered and dressed unbelievable why the sudden change from doing nothing for himself to this. He will need the care because no lifting bending etc are the no can do after eye surgery. We need to over come this.
Thank you for reading.
Hi it's strange but it's similar with my husband. He was diagnosed in 2019 with PSP. When I'm around I have to do a lot more for him; help him dress, give him his meds through his PEG etc., but I've noticed that he can do a lot of these things for himself. If I'm not in ( usually taking our dog out!) he manages to dress himself and I know he gets up in the night to either get painkillers or help himself to a puréed dessert!! I don't question it, just let it go, thankful that he still can sometimes do these things. I know it's not quite the same, but I'm sure my husband wouldn't want anyone else to care for him if we had carers in. I'm always being encouraged to get carers to give me a break as he doesn't like me going out ( I have to work one morning a week, and visit my elderly mum, who's 95 but thankfully in reasonable health and understands when I can't make it), but at the moment I know it would be a waste of time. Sorry this probably doesn't help, but just getting it off my chest!!
Good luck with the surgery hope everything sorts itself out.
Thank you family are trying to still come to terms with psp and at this stage they need help to care for him his walking is very limited now and mum will not be able to cope after cataract surgery.
It’s called adrenaline! Once that evil beast starts flowing, they can do anything. Once your father in law gets use to Carers coming in, he will be back to “normal”. Please, please make sure that your Mother in law keeps them coming in now, on a permanent basis. No one can cope with PSP on their own.
Sending big hug and much love
Lots of love
Anne
As the patient I think I understand what he’s doing. I think he goes into I’ve-got-to-do-this-for-myself mode when he’s alone. I’m much like him but have been living on my own so everything that needed doing was my job. And I did it regardless of whether it was safe.
I made it through several years of this on my own but I moved into assisted living last week. I am shocked the help I’m getting is taking that constant worry about falling/losing my mind/loss of agility away. The staff just jump in matter-of-factly to solve what could be a problem.
I’ve said all along that I’d never let someone help me during showers, dressing etc., but I had help drying off and getting dressed this morning and it was so nice to get my back dried. I can’t reach it anymore. It wasn’t as bad as I assumed it would be. She stood at a distance when I took the actual shower myself.
He’s trying to fend for himself like he used to. He could do it before, why not now? Yes, he could fall, but he hasn’t yet so in his mind (like in my own mind) it can still be done on his own.
I’ve entered a stage where my focus needs to be “let others help, maybe let them do it.” This is really hard for me. There’s a real sense of grief and loss. Who am I at my core if I can’t do it myself? But it’s the right thing to do. It’s a lesson I need to learn and there’s no way around it. Period. This disease is relentless.
Maybe you start by having help when you’re there. Let him get used to other people knowing how to do what he’d rather do himself. Maybe they don’t actually help with him at all in the beginning, but appear to help you get through in different ways. In time you might start helping him yourself but calling out to the carer for “extra help.” Eventually they do it without you.
Not everyone can afford the solution I’m offering. I get that. We independent types go kicking and screaming through these times of change.
You can do this.
Thank you for ur reply. Unfortunately dad falls a lot and I think his sight is slowly going ie misses the door handle a lot. He is a very independent and private man. Care is 2 days a week for shower then on 25th next month its 6 days due to mum having her cataract done, this care will then continue until the end. Hope u enjoy ur new home and wish u all the best.
Consultant? or GP care?
Continuing Care Brickwall
Palliative/Hospice Care
