I will post this apology to those that I apparently offended with my recent post of praise and gratitude - and lyrics from one of my favorite bands Casting Crowns (a Christian Contemporary group) —-
Really was simply sharing my Moms way of expressing without words. I do respect all faiths and beliefs, no intention of crossing lines. Lesson learned. I will still temporarily share this photo and remove within 24 hours, and will adjust my content of sharing. I’m a quick learner .. sincere apologies.
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bazooka111
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I found that my faith is what carried me through that difficult time of my life when I was caring for my wife. He is where my strength came from. It brings me joy when your mom would lift her hands to Him. My wife did the same.
“I was pushed hard, so that I was falling, but the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.”
Hi Gjkas. I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time. Do you have PSP or CBD. I thought I read fibromyalgia so if this is it, there may be a better site for you to join, unless you have both. Everyone on this site are going through very difficult times. I was a carer for my husband for 6 years and at his death he couldn’t do anything except move his thumb for yes or no. He couldn’t blink or swallow or move any part of his body. He was being fed via a PEG. He understood everything that was going on and made the final decision, via his thumb, that he wanted to end his life. He never once complained when he could speak and when someone asked, ‘Why you, you are the nicest man I know”. He said, “Why not me”. He had faith and knew where he was going so didn’t worry about it. I also have faith but respect those of different faiths and those who have none. I didn’t until I was 36. Bazooka’s Mum is going down the same road my husband did. Surely if Faith helps them both as it did us, we should be thankful something does. Bazooka wasn’t preaching or trying to convert anyone, she was just showing us something that had touched them both making them want to show gratitude and give thanks.
I hope/ pray that everyone here finds something to make them feel a bit better, physically and spiritually whatever they believe in. They certainly need help from anywhere they can get it and if they share what has made them feel as they do what harm can it do as we can always ignore it.
Never intending to offend anyone, quite the opposite. Honestly, I’m quite confused. I will be considering leaving this group - I have sadly received critical messages of several
Of my posts regarding Joy and my content being irrelevant. Heart breaking really.
Why don't you just consider yourself and GO then. Because you obviously got no consideration for all the People that are grieving at this terrible time.
You are just thinking of yourself, not anyone else. Youve made that pretty obvious. I've had my say. 👎👎👎👎
No more comments, unfriendly or otherwise. Yes im sorry that I feel this way. So are thousands of other people. I hope you never have to feel like we do.
Saying your faith gives you strength and joy is a wonderful thing. And when folk say that I feel a little joy for them.
Especially when those facing loss declare their faith and how it supports them through. I am pleased for them.
The photo of your mother wrapped in the joy of her prayer is beautiful and my heart lifted.
You say you are sensitive to others beliefs. But, have you thought this through?
There are Muslims, Hindus, Atheists, Daoists Jews and others here who do not post texts, or songs celebrating their beliefs. Some feel that they would not be well received. Others that it is enough to carry their beliefs in their heart. Often they have learned, the hard way, that it is better to keep their beliefs in the shadows rather than attract adverse comment and rejection.
If we, in part, become a 'noisy' Christian site we might leave them less room to feel they belong. We put a difference into our community and differences can undermine people's sense of belonging. Britain is more multicultural than the States and, perhaps less religious. The quietness of of different beliefs makes room for a greater communality.
I am not an arbiter here, just one voice.
And, others here might shoot me down for these thoughts. Fine.
Because you feel criticised and perhaps even rejected I felt it important to reach out to you.
Kim - don’t leave. Although I think we all need to be conscious that not everyone thinks the way we do or believe what we believe, there is nothing wrong in finding joy and thankfulness in the good things in life. Those who don’t like your post are probably in a bad place in their lives and I feel sorry for them. Keep us smiling and love your momma😍
Caro2132. I have already come off this site as you know. But some of them on here are still messaging me.
Some messages can't be ignored. This is why I'm back again to ask you if it can be stopped. I've already asked Kevin to help because I thought that he was an Admin.
But Love him. He said he was only a Punter.
Satt2015 told me to leave the Group. Although, perhaps she's in a bad place.
I don't know if you're Admin or not.
But if you are, i would really appreciate you sorting it out for me.
If you can't I'll have to ask our Administrator to do it.
I just tuned in after a couple of days and feel very sad with some of the comments flying. Please don't leave. You are a valuable and positive contributor to this site. We want to see you, and want to see how your Momma is doing. Everyone on this site has pain. Adding joy and positive messages seems right.
Since I've been on this site, it seems like we get to know one another, and who we are, aside from just the diseases. I think that's a good thing. But, let's hope this simmers down and we can go on with supporting each other, no matter who we are.
bazooka111....do not apologize, you did nothing wrong, but express your feelings through song and music, perfectly understandable. ....don't remove it.
I have been off the site for a few days... Dr rescheduled my surgery & l have been 'staying in' so sad because l miss my coffee & ice cream with our friends. Kim you & your mom always bring a smile to my face & l thank you both for being blessings in my life. It is important to help each other during this stressful time... so please never disappear... just muddle through the puddles with us as we do our best each day. Sending hugs... Granni B
Oh Bazooka111. It was so good to see your mum raising her hands in Praise. I do it often but I thanked God that she can still raise her hands. Long may she do so. The words you posted from the song are lovely. Please don’t leave.
I have had a similar reaction to a post I did. Your post lifted me up....for my Lord sustains me in this difficult time...I have had a rough week, I love Bob so much and truly my faith carries me through this storm! I can not imagine my life without my Savior....
Yes, Jubilee, I remember that post and I remember defending you when you were attacked for it. One of our obligations on this forum is to be gentle with one another. I am sorry this morning that Kim is suffering for her beliefs but gratified that most of us accept each other and minister to our shared experience of pain and discouragement as we do our best each day.
Hi Jean and tolerance means we do not over state our religious beliefs too loudly.
I am deeply concerned that we do not become a Christian forum which in turn excludes others.
It is good to quietly celebrate that which supports us.
Great, or loud, religious statements does silences others.
I am very sad reading some of these posts which by asserting the beauty of one religious belief makes so many others less able to state their own, quieter faiths or thoughts.
Please folks, do not turn this forum into one of a particular religion which excludes others of a different belief. Yet do not deny your own celibration of faith.
It's a balance. General terms allow us to state what strenghthens uss, without excluding others.
When you post think, "Maybe someone of a different belief" is reading?
Kevin, truly if anyone stated something that was a quote from a Hindu or Muslim belief or for that matter any up lifting secular quote that would not bother me in the least, nor should it bother anyone else.
We all share a common bond of heartache and grief that most can not fathom.
A Christian quote/lyrics to a song that is sweet and loving should in no way bother anyone....
The bonds of this forum are not threaded in a particular belief, we are all woven together by loss and pain, no one here shares anything but beauty, love and encouragement...
If a person were preachy and expressing an attitude of arrogance by saying if you only believed like I do you would feel better, that would be unacceptable. That is not what goes on here or ever will....
The attitude comes from criticism of another persons expression of comfort....that my friend is not right...
It is not something to fear, it’s something to embrace, we have a commonality in the toughest of situations.
I think you have misunderstood my posts because you have explained them back to me missing out the subtleties.
I am not trying to 'silence' anyone.
It is not whether or not folk here are tolerant of others views, such as an Islamic prayer, but whether we have created a space where such a person would feel comfortable posting such a thing. There is a huge difference between the two.
The UK is a very multicultural society. Much more so than many of our American friends here might realise. (Yes, I have lived in the States). Many of us realise that it's important to centre on our common experience of humanity. This gives more space for those with different persuasions. I believe it may be more common in the States to bring Christianity into the mix on a more everyday basis than would be the norm in the UK. And, that is a cultural difference.
Many times I have had posts from people of markedly different cultures who have felt uncomfortable posting on the public forum and have sought help privately.
And, where are the ethnic minority posters on this forum?
As I have said in previous posts: It is good to celebrate that which gives us hope and strength. However I have had a number of messages from people who have said they feel uncomfortable with the extent of the shift toward a particular view and away from our common humanity and struggles.
Three people have told me they are leaving the forum. One of them a very well known poster who is much loved here. Others have decided to remain silent, but they are not happy.
Kevin, I wanted to add... I am very devastated and heartbroken at what is going on with my husband....now with this horrible virus ravaging the world I can not even see my youngest son who is in another town, his partner is working the front lines as Chief of Cardiology at one of the HUGE hospitals there....I worry for his safety and worry about my son catching something he might bring home!
They were going to get married May 8th after being together for 11 years...I am so sad for them, my heart aches...
Let’s remember there are always other details in all our lives at this time of crisis that complicate even the most minor of problems, let’s not further muddy the waters....
Totally agree with you. What a shame 'tolerance' can't be on the shopping list to panic buy instead of loo rolls! We do live in a world with some very amazing people, of all cultures, that have come together, breaking down religious and cultural barriers to help others during this awful pandemic - it's quite heartwarming and during these times faith, whether you have it or not, doesn't seem to be an issue from what I can see. Fortunately, it's just the few who want to rock the boat, and I guess that's the way it all always be. Hope you are doing ok. I can't believe it's 18 months since Rod lost the battle. How I miss the fun and laughter that always rang out in our house. Life goes on though - 3 year old granddaughter who keeps me on my toes, so I guess I am pretty blessed. For me, having gone through such heartbreak, I am intolerant to what Kim has come up against - some things are so much more important than the views of those who don't have a clue and to be honest, are best ignored. Love Hils. xx
Please don’t leave us, I look for you and your mom’s beautiful smile almost daily. Your posts lift me up. When you’re offline for a few days and sometimes even a week I wonder if your mom is okay and how you’re holding up.
Please carry on as you always have. Don’t change. We love you the way that you are!
Hi Kim, Sorry I missed your original post, don't know what's going on with my phone as I missed Helen's as well.
Please do not leave this forum, you have brought us joy sharing the memories you have been making with your momma and I hope we have given you some support on the awful long journey of this terrible illness that affects carers as well.
Our faith is what helps us get through these days. I don’t see why you would have to apologize. Yes everyone is different but we should be able to share in our own way without being judged for it. We have enough to deal with, with this disease and how it effects everyone differently. I appreciate everyone’s input. I have learned so much from so many people on this sight and it has helped me understand and deal with the different aspects of this disease. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and your hearts.
I am sorry I haven't seen the previous post but surely nobody was offended by anything you have written.
I love looking at your posts as you are always looking on the bright side of this damned disease. You have an amazing relationship with your mum and she looks so happy in your photos.
Whatever you say is personal to you and nobody should give negative comments.
I hope you are staying well during this strange time.
Hi Kim, I don't come on the site so much these days but I have always loved your posts, such an inspiration to those still going through the struggles of caring for a loved one, often in such impossible circumstances. You have shown us your ongoing album in pictures of how you are making life as bearable as possible for your mum and how she is getting so much joy out of life and you have shown others that life has to go on. So, I wanted to say to you don't you dare leave this site because of your beliefs and not wanting to offend others. I don't have a faith but deeply respect the faiths of all cultures. I have many friends of all different faiths, all respecting each other and quite honestly, if anyone is offended by that wonderful photo of your mum showing her gratitude to her maker then maybe they shouldn't be on this site. What ever happened to acceptance of others? This is the place where people can de-stress, be comforted and generally know there is someone out there who understands them completely.
You don't need to be feeling bad about a photo and definitely not your faith, when you've got enough on your plate. Carry on as you are doing, embrace your faith, share with all on here and blow raspberries to anyone who doesn't like it. If you take the photo down then the whiners have won. The world has much more to worry about at the moment, it's a time to all pull together. Sorry, if I've got on my soapbox but felt I had to say it.
Sadly, Marilyn, there's too much of this political correctness and quite honestly I think it can be the root cause of many problems - and in my experience it can exacerbate the problem it's trying to fix. Why the heck can't people just stop looking for issues that don't actually exist. I really hope that Kim does not feel bullied of this site because of such drivel. As I said before, I have many friends of different faiths, all of whom are absolutely accepting of others faiths and if any one of them were to become a member of this site they certainly would not be offended by Kim's photo and verse - and that's how it should be for society to gel. Sorry, I don't come on here so much since Rod died, but reading Kim's post made me furious. Rant over!
Hi Kim, I am sorry. But I must have missed the post that everyone is referring to. If not then it certainly didn't offend me. I am not reglious, at times I have envied those that are. We are all entitled to our views, that includes you.
The main person you seemed to have offended, at first take sounds like a troll. We have had them before, no doubt will again. They upset everyone on the site and have no place on here.
Please don't leave the site, I realise that you have been hurt and that is unforgivable, you and everyone else has/is going through enough, especially at the moment, this is the last thing you need.
Hi Kim. I must have missed something as I have no idea what this is about. It seems that someone was offended by something you posted based on " religious views". I have always made a point throughout my life, never to discuss religion, but I fully respect everyones right to have faith or not. I don't care what " God" you worship or whether you choose to have none. I have followed your journey with your Mum for some time and Love your stories of memories made and the smiles that your pictures show. This life on Earth is all too short. We should make the best of it while we are here. I nearly left this site recently but changed my mind. YOU and YOUR MUM were one reason I stayed. Please don't leave. Let's just "live and let live"
I am speechless as to what has occurred here. I think I saw your original post as the photo of your Mum seems familiar and I make a point of reading your posts as they are up beat but also honest. I do not see what there was to offend anyone. I am not religious and would not like to have religion forced down my throat, but for a lot of people religion provides them with a great deal of comfort, whatever that religion is and I respect that. It is all about being part of a tolerant society. For someone to take offence at such a post they must be in a very bad place in the world and they are to be pitied if they think by lashing out at other people it will make them feel any better. Hopefully that person has now gone, quite what they were doing on here anyway I don't know. Please stay, we all need your dose of sunshine
Kim, please don't leave. Like others I did not see the 'offensive' post and as I've come to know you through your posts I fail to see that you would have intentionally offended anyone. You and your beautiful mum are so loved and special and I hope you are reassured of this by all of the lovely posts above. Do not take to your generous heart the ugliness of one person's tirade. Your posts are often inspirational, indeed am going to search out Casting Crowns. Love and prayers, Fiona
I've just read this verse, Kim, and it's really lovely. Regardless of whether I have a faith or not it really resonated with me due to my own recent serious health issues that I have now emerged from. Wish I lived near you; despite lockdown I'd love to stand in your front garden with a banner telling you and your mum what amazing people you are and how you have brightened my day on many occasions. Don't ever change! Love Hils. xx
Kim, I agree with all the positive posts. I enjoy seeing photos of you and your mom. You are an inspiration to me and others on this site with how you and your mom are dealing with this horrible disease. God bless and take care!
My mother passed away of PSP in February. Your posts were always enjoyable, positive and a source of comfort. To be my mother's caregiver was to both honor her and in turn, to honor God. Take strength and comfort wherever you can.
Im sorry for your loss. Thank you for your response to this unfortunate situation. I also count it an honor to car for my sweet Momma -- This forum I believe was meant for me to find people like you -- no one understands this journey. So thank you. xo
Kim, if you find this forum helpful, please don't be driven away by someone who bullied you. I am deeply Christian, Roman Catholic, and have been lifted up many times by my faith. I am also inspired by the example of my Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Zoroastrian , agnostic and secular humanist friends who share a vision of life as a journey of meaning, purpose and spiritual power. I live in the USA, a country of 330 million diverse individuals who manage to do wonderful things each day. Right now, I think I am looking at the end of this 14-year journey with my husband as CBD overwhelms him and his body fails him. In this context, I have no room in my life for petty comments from those who would present themselves as arbiters of the public good and acceptable thoughts. Be who you are...and accept me for who I am. That is what we say to people who are new to the forum and I think that most of us mean it when we say it.
Going to the grocery store this morning...right now getting my scarf-mask, latex gloves, hand sanitizer, night goggles and flares...wish me luck!!
Love your last paragraph - there are much more important things in life at the moment that we all need to be heeding. Without belittling how serious a situation we find ourselves in, each time I leave the house I feel equipped to perform heart surgery with masks, gels, etc. As with tolerance, we must not forget to keep a sense of humour - it really is very therapeutic. Best wishes, I know only too well how tough things all be getting for you. Love Hils. Xx
Just carry on doing what you have been doing, people can be upset by children laughing, a most joyous sound. You cant please everybody but keep smiling.
I don’t know about anyone else but I do know that I have felt alone through this, sometimes and love the support this group offers with no judgement as to the right or wrong of it. Thanks for sharing that. It has gotten me through many a dark night, even those who have shared their anger, frustration and hope as best they could.
I'm speechless... I thought this site was a safe, non-judgemental place for patients, caregivers, family and friends to support, comfort and assist each other, share with each other and enlighten ourselves on these neurodegenerative diseases. Am I wrong in this thinking? Are we now to have judgements on others because of their posts? What is next to fall by the wayside? Our compassion? Are we next to ostracize someone because they post about the passing of a loved one or because they want to try stem cell therapy?
I'm gobsmacked at the vitriol of comments toward members that make a post that comes from their own ideals and faith. This place, I thought, was a refuge from the world that knows little to nothing of what we all are going through. By limiting what we post, we run the risk of bringing the outside world and it's hatred into this haven. By condemning a post we suppress one of our own who is also struggling.
Though I may or may not agree with the posts of others, I am presented with choices with each of them. Either I can respond with kindness, love, knowledge and sometimes a little humour or I can remain silent and move to the next topic and thereby avoid exercising the third choice of adding malice to another's post. Each of us has to make our own choice on each individual post. It behooves us as adults to always make that choice, one of compassion, toward another's feelings because of their ideals and faith. Just as we are not all on the same journey with the diseases, we are also not on the same journey in our lives. I implore everyone to step back from this dangerous breach and continue as we were, before we find people exercising another kind of choice in the viability of this forum.
Well written Tony, you have expressed your thoughts on this in a clear and concise way. The end, hopefully of a very sorry chapter on this forum. Folk have always been welcomed to this site with the words "you can rant, rave and not be judged" - that should mean what it says - and as you quite rightly say, if you don't like a post then don't read it, just like the majority of us wouldn't watch a TV programme that would upset or offend us, it's all about choice. Best wishes, Hils.x
Upon rereading it after I posted it, I did find my own writing ironic. I started off writing "I'm speechless" and then proceeded to write a speech!!! ☹️
please don't go anywhere. There is nothing that I am aware of that could possibly be deemed objectionable that you have ever contributed here. You are also one of the most prolific contributors and your posts always lift me up. I cannot imagine why anyone would object to someone expressing their faith in the face of this dreadful disease.
Our purposes here are act as a soundboard for each other, share our experiences, hard learned lessons and coping skills. And honestly, you do that wonderfully and are needed here.
Holy cow! Get busy for a few days and things go sideways!.... I obviously missed the trigger event, but reading everyone's reaction (..well, all but one..) was an affirmation of the diversity, tolerance, love and support that IS the mainstay of this wonderful community! Hope I'm not too late to add my wagon to the circle around you, Kim. (Love using that most American of analogies
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