Six months: Six months ago today, I lost the... - PSP Association

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Six months

Ratcliffe profile image
22 Replies

Six months ago today, I lost the person who meant the most to me in the whole world.

David was a wonderful person, and put up such a good fight against PSP, but his time came on August 26th.

Just like everyone else on here who has lost a loved one, the time since has been spent grieving, crying, wishing everything could be different, as you would expect.

Although I have shed a tear today, mostly I have been trying to remember the good times and looking at a few pictures, and this evening I have raised a couple of beers and had a chat with him via his pictures on the walls 👍

I don't know why but the six month mark feels like a date that needed to be noted, although it feels like five years in reality!

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Ratcliffe profile image
Ratcliffe
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22 Replies
PUTLAND profile image
PUTLAND

Ratcliffe big hugs and I understand your thoughts and memories. This horrible disease has taken so many wonderful and courageous people. Raise a glass and remember happy times. Xxx Ronnie my loved one died 15th Nov

Katiebow profile image
Katiebow

Sending a big warm hug to you, t was obviously a poignant day for you and I hope you managed to remember the better times with David pre PSP.

Love Kate xx

Baileyboo profile image
Baileyboo

Dear Ratcliffe

I totally understand your feelings. I lost the most precious person in my life at the end of November. It is just 3 months but just reaching this point has been a horrendous struggle.

PSP leaves the most horrible memories of their struggle and it's so hard to find good memories at first.

Well done to raising a glass or two and talking to his photographs. My heart goes out to you.

Love and hugs

Pat x

fothergilla profile image
fothergilla in reply to Baileyboo

That’s so true. It’s like having memories of two different people.

Zeberdee profile image
Zeberdee

Ratliffe I can understand only too well trying to adjust to a different way of life without our loved ones ....it is not easy. I speak everyday to my hubby’s photo and long to remember the good times we shared but unfortunately at the moment they are clouded by PSP. Hugs Jxx

Heady profile image
Heady

I don't know why we make these milestones in our lives. They are a right pain and add extra stress. The build up is worse, the actual day, is just the same all the rest. Lonely and miserable!

Enjoy your beers and your chat with David. I alway raise a glass to Steve and am constantly talking to him. Noting has changed, I get the same result as I always did!

Sending big hug and much love

Lots of love

Anne

abirke profile image
abirke in reply to Heady

I had to chuckle at your response , Anne., "...same (day) as all the rest. Lonely and miserable" God dang it , Anne I'm tired of feeling this way.....

Heady profile image
Heady in reply to abirke

Oh, me too Andrea! Me too,!!!

Lots of love

Anne

doglington profile image
doglington

In a similar place.

Cheers. Hope you can enjoy good memories !

Hug from Jean x

easterncedar profile image
easterncedar

Hugs to you, Ratcliffe. In some ways I don't wish to be over the grieving; I don't want to be over my sweet man. I talk to him, too.

Kevin_1 profile image
Kevin_1

Hi Ratcliffe

A sad, poignant yet beautiful post.

I hope you found plenty of good memories to celibate too.

Warmly

Kevin

catherine_h profile image
catherine_h

Hi Ratcliffe, I remember reading your post 6months ago, it's hard to believe that time has passed already. I hope the good memories come flooding back and rouse plenty of smiles. The time that has passed without them must go slowly, whereas with Dad here with us still, I hate to think of time passing. I hope the next 6 months bring you fonder times x

raincitygirl profile image
raincitygirl

Hugs to you Derek; It sounds like a lonely journey, this path of survival and remembrance, moving on month by month away from that wrenching day. You absolutely should mark all mile points!

Thank you for being here with us XXX

Anne G.

Satt2015 profile image
Satt2015

Huge hugs to you my lovely, we will make those hugs real next Tuesday x

Georgepa profile image
Georgepa

All my sympathy to you Ratcliffe - I am 8 months down the rocky path of bereavement and I wish I could say I was finding it a bit easier but I am not .Everyday there is something that gets to me .I try so hard to remember the good times and there were a lot of them but I find it so hard to get past the last four years which were so distressing .Everyone says it’s all part of the course but that doesn’t,t seem to help . Nor does it help when they say that it will get easier as time goes by but that doesn’t help today either does it . I think my tears have worn tracks down my face mind you it is fairly wrinkly anyway so they can course down a bit like balls in a pinball machine -erratically never quite sure where they will eventually end up .😪

Love Georgepa

abirke profile image
abirke in reply to Georgepa

Boy howdy, I hear ya Gp.....my therapist says that's how it's supposed to be.....and it will get easier.....your'e so right gp, not today.....Sometimes I wonder if I will habituate myself to these feelings; never again connecting to useful normalcy....

Tippyleaf profile image
Tippyleaf

Thinking of you.

Hugs

Tippy

Sawa profile image
Sawa

Dear Ratcliffe,

Too many of us in the same boat, I'm afraid. Yesterday was 1 year since I lost the love of my life. Hang in there. I can't say it necessarily gets better or easier but we do learn to cope in our own ways, as we did when our loved ones were still struggling with PSP.

I talk to Jonathan all the time and still feel a deep connection to him as I'm sure you do with your beloved David.

I wish you strength and good memories for your next 6 months. We're all in this together, which is comfort in itself.

Hugs, Sharon

abirke profile image
abirke

R, I think I know how you feel. though 6 months ago, I think I still was "under control". Long about December maybe a bit earlier, my whole self just sort of imploded. It will be a year on March 5th..that's next week Monday,and I fear that day..I'm so trying to hold on to God's hand....so many verses I tried to help others with and now I am a puddle of uselessness...I just pray that you continue to gain strength and acknowledge your pain and get up and over and through and not sit staring at walls ..... Good luck darlin Do well, keep moving forward.

Andrea

JantheNana profile image
JantheNana

For me it has been 7months now.The tears come still but maybe a little less often.I still have things I need to do like going through drawers and getting rid of the rest of his clothes.Maybe someday I will but for now I am comforted somewhat by his “things”.

I know there are many of us in the same boat and I wish the best for us all.

Nanny857 profile image
Nanny857

Hi Ratcliffe, sad time but hoping those precious good times you had together ease the pain a little. Lots of love Nanny857xx

Dicampbell profile image
Dicampbell

I am so sorry Derek. Hugs.

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