Why is it so hard to find good care

[Spiralsparkle]

Hi all

I need to let off some steam before I go insane. Since February we have employed PAs via a direct payment as every agency last year quit the package as didn't have enough staff and never sent same people.

It has been so much stress with the PAs. A few have just quit with no notice after I've pulled them up on not doing job properly , lateness, sickness not wearing aprons and gloves for personal care tasks . It seems as soon as you have to have a word they just up and go. I'm at my wit's end with it all. Mum wants to remain at home but the care system just doesn't seem to be up to supporting that here.

I'm constantly battling every man and his dog to get things in place such as proper equipment, no one ever seems to reply to you and I spend valuable energy chasing everybody constantly.

Today is one of those days I think I can't do this anymore and so exhausted.....

Thanks for listening x

[gypsywoman1947]

Know exactly how you feel......it adds to the stress. Hugs xxx

[Spiralsparkle in reply to gypsywoman1947]

I question myself do I expect too high standards, maybe I do but when people are coming into your home I don't think they understand how intrusive it feels at times and frustration when you keep asking the same thing over and over to be done.

Mum will be upset as she has generally got on well with the one that left today but had become more and more anxious as her attendance has been getting worse and was regularly late.

Do you have agency staff ?

[Escada29]

Hi I feel your frustration. We have a carer in on a Monday through a care agency and it is like tredding on eggshells some are great and others not. It is never consistent. Other days during the week we use daycare at a local residential home. I have never complained about anything with them I suppose just grateful they help me. xx

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Escada29]

Well we are ok with the care agency, not always the same people, but we seem to have the same ones, not every week, but we now most of them coming in, most of them are lovely, and love george. Xxxxx

[Spiralsparkle in reply to Yvonneandgeorge]

That's great you are ok with the carers you have. Saves alot of stress indeed.

[VronB in reply to Yvonneandgeorge]

Our care agency is the same. Really nice kind people who have taught me a lot. Xx

[Spiralsparkle in reply to Escada29]

Exactly in your own home you don't want to feel like treading on eggshells or worried job is being done right .

If you complain it always goes against you as people just quit. I contacted CQC over two agencies last year and their incompetent staff and putting people at risk. They still got a good rating!

[Spiralsparkle in reply to Escada29]

Exactly in your own home you don't want to feel like treading on eggshells or worried job is being done right .

If you complain it always goes against you as people just quit. I contacted CQC over two agencies last year and their incompetent staff and putting people at risk. They still got a good rating!

Reply Like (0)

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Spiralsparkle]

You should be able to complain I have done it, had one person barred, he was taking 5 mins to shower george, always good to them when the come in with tea cakes, even breakfast. They should be able to take criticism. Yvonne xxxxx

[Satt2015]

Spiral Sparkle , in my opinion, everything associated with Psp is a battle!! That’s every single little thing!

It is actually enough to drive you round the bend and back again!!

I’m sorry that’s very sorry that the care your mum receives is not up to scratch, it’s disgraceful!

How you continue to manage at home is really quite remarkable! Would you or your mum, dare I ask, consider a nursing home?

I ask, because I know, it’s gets too much to cope with and I worry that you could become unwell yourself

Hugs x

[Spiralsparkle in reply to Satt2015]

It is Mums biggest fear to end up in a home along with dying in hospital. There really aren't any good homes locally either. Think we drew short straw in postcode lottery!

We will see what tomorrow brings...

[JR61]

I hope that my observation does not offend but I think it may be down to the fact that this is very personal work done in your own home. It is human nature to be hospitable and welcoming and a huge effort is made to integrate the carers into your household. However, over thirty years of running a business and employing people has taught me through bitter experience that it is impossible to be both a friend and an employer the relationship is too difficult. You and they need to maintain a professional distance tempered with compassion and this of course is what hospital staff manage to do. If you do need to make a complaint or request it can often be misunderstood and not easily accepted by the employee, which is what the carer is, unfortunately, not a friend. It is a very tricky path to navigate diplomatically. JR61 x

[Spiralsparkle in reply to JR61]

I think you hit nail on head and is a hard line as close relationship but not 'friends' and there is a professional relationship to be maintained. I like to think we are hospitable but at same time I keep a distance as the voice of my Mum as employer. I expect some respect of people entering the home and not just doing what they feel like.

[JR61 in reply to Spiralsparkle]

Quite right too, anyone entering your home should respect your wishes. Hope you manage to get help ASAP for your Mum. JR61 x

[LuisRodicioRodicio]

The work of the caregiver managing the people who help you is difficult and the balance you achieve is unstable. The disease itself often presents frequent mood changes.

We have been 5 years and a half of PSP. The disease has progressed and it is necessary a remarkable help that you should be forming and adapting to the different stages and challenges that the disease presents. It is a demanding task that wears out the main caregiver.

I am lucky to have stable people who are accumulating experience and resist the unpleasant and bad moods that these patients present sometime.

These people have been selected through parish organizations that are dedicated to finding domestic help to families with neurological diseases in their own homes.

In any case, the caregivers' wear is important and that of the main caregiver is intense. Attention must be paid to the caregiver's health. Find distractions and points of interest specially for the main caregiver as well as vacations, at least two weeks a year, better if they are more, they are essential.

[sasmock]

I'm going to PM you about our carers, I've been meaning to for weeks. They're absolutely amazing, so it's worth checking if they cover your town, it's not far. My mom has REALLY high standards and I never thought she'd be happy with anyone they sent for dad, but this agency is PERFECT so far, not one single tiny complaint after 5 weeks..even by mom's standards!!

[Spiralsparkle in reply to sasmock]

That is fantastic and what your Dad deserves after all he had to endure at the hands of incompetent people everywhere . Are they better than your first agency ?