I've not posted here before so I'll briefly introduce myself. Skip to the third paragraph for my actual issue I could do with advice on.
My mum - who moved in with us about a year ago due to her health - has a 'query diagnosis' of PSP. Her consultant is being very cagey about committing to a diagnosis, but all her other healthcare staff refer to her as having PSP, so we're expecting a confirmed diagnosis next time we see the consultant.
I'm very worried about Mum's cognition. She has this phrase 'don't worry about it' which basically means there's something to worry about, but she's very secretive. I think she's trying to cover up for 'mistakes'. For example, this morning I was trying to bake cookies with her, and she randomly tipped some sprinkles (supposed to go on top when they're iced) into the mixture, then said 'don't worry about it'. I don't know if that was just a random impulse she had, or she thought it was the spice, or what, but it was very odd. My daughter was also there and I told her she wasn't allowed to eat any of the dough until the end - but then Mum picked some and ate some herself, saying 'I'm allowed because I'm a grownup', which was obviously very frustrating, but also very out of character - she's always been very strict on setting good examples for kids.
I think she's acting out because she feels like she's being treated like a child. The problem is that she's in such denial about her condition that we have to take some decisions out of her hand - eg she's very bad at assessing risk. I have tried again and again to sit and talk to her like a peer about it, but she either clams up, or changes the subject. Again, it's like she's trying to hide something. Probably that her condition is worsening. The irony is that we *know* it's worsening, and if she could talk openly about it, we wouldn't have to treat her 'like a child' so much at all.
I think she's really not processing things well, but when she had a MoCA test for cognition, it came back fine. I know there's something wrong there, but when the official test says otherwise, what am I supposed to do?
Secondly, does anyone have any advice on coping with this kind of passive anger and 'acting out'? I'm trying to make her feel loved but I feel like things I do - like the baking today - make her feel like a child because she can't do them like she used to. But the alternative is to not do stuff with her!
It's causing her so much distress, and she won't even acknowledge that, and it makes me so sad. Any advice greatly appreciated.