Going into care

My father is in hospital at the moment, recovering from pneumonia (they said it was community acquired, not aspiration).

While he’s been there, they noticed his swallowing problems and offered him a PEG, but he decided against it. He can’t really speak or move, and is being spoon-fed puréed foods. He sleeps a lot and rarely opens his eyes even when he’s awake. The hospital are turning him every two hours, and need a hoist to move him out of bed, which I think they’ve only done once in the two weeks he’s been in.

We all think that although he wants to be at home, it’s reached the point where my mother (who’s in her 80s like him) can’t manage, and although the hospital has initiated a CHC assessment, even if it’s approved, I can’t imagine it will cover a round the clock nursing team at home.

I don’t know how much longer he’ll last. I don’t want to lose him, but it’s horrible to see him in this state.

11 Replies

  • I am sorry to hear about your dad. I'm sure you will make the right decision.

  • Thanks. It sometimes feels as if there are no right answers.

  • No words can express how sad I feel for you. Please let me know. 🙏💛

  • I will. Thanks for your support.

  • I'm sorry about your sorrow. It's sad to think of losing someone we have known our entire life.

    I do think your father was wise to reject the PEG. Now, his body will begin to shut down as it is ready and not be complicated by scheduled feedings.

    The body has it 's own wisdom.

  • I agree. It might have been different if swallowing had been a problem earlier on, when he was still able to do other things, but there doesn’t seem to be a lot to be gained from it now.

  • Sorry to hear about your dad and the dilemma you find yourself in. Yes it would be nice to have him at home but you are right in thinking of your mother's well being. Thinking of you. Nanny857xx

  • I'm so sorry that your having to go through this. We're all at some stage of the horrible disease, my mum's very late stage. It is too much for an elderly person to deal with, both physically and emotionally. You're right in thinking about your mum. Have family around to support eachother and just talk to your Dad, he's still there. Spend this time saying all the things you'd want him to know.

    Take care.

  • Thanks. We’re back home again now, but I expect we’ll be going back in a few days.

  • All the best in the next following weeks. Stay strong.

  • Sorry to hear about your dad but if he has decided against a peg then hard though it is you have to abide by his decision. Incidentally my hubby does have a peg and we got CHC via the palliative care team. Try your local hospice if you have one. God bless.


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