Happy Christmas!

[Heady]

Hi everyone, I would like to wish you all the happiest Christmas you can manage. I know a lot are facing their first Christmas alone, to you I say, I am thinking of you and sending extra love and hugs. Anybody, like me, who's loved one is still upright (just) then please celebrate like never before. None of us know what next year is going to be like, we only know what today is, so ENJOY!!!

I would like to say, with out you guys, I really don't know what state I would be in. I have learnt EVERYTHING from you. OK! Some things I would rather have not known, but now I am facing them, it's good to have been given the heads up! So I know how to face the grim task of buying pads, while others are buying Christmas trees!!! Who else can I turn to, when things get tough, who else listens while I moan, vent and rave about our lives. I do have a very supportive sister and daughter, but there is only so much I can load on to their shoulders. Everyone here, I know I can say what I want, nobody judges, gets upset, or thinks I am getting at them, because there is nothing they can do to help! If only the big wide world realised, all they had to do, was listen, hold your hand, or pour a glass of wine. That's all anybody can do for us, instead loads just turn their back, ignore you, promising to get in touch and never do!

What more can I say but - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,

All have a very peaceful Christmas, hope everyone says upright and well over the Christmas period.

Lots and lots of love

Heady

[Pippalina]

Well said Heady my sentiments exactly.Best wishes to all who care and those who are cared for.Rxx

[Georgepa in reply to Pippalina]

Christmas Greetings Pippalina Georgepa

[jzygirl]

Happy Christmas from a chesty sore nosed carer hoping everyone else stays germ free. Janexx

[Georgepa in reply to jzygirl]

Happy Christmas sore nosed carer love Georgepa

[NannaB in reply to jzygirl]

Oh dear, unwell at Christmas, not good. Wishing you a speedy recovery and hoping you manage to have some fun. If your nose gets too sore and red certain reindeer may come to see if there is any competition. Sending you a big hug......cos I can't catch anything from virtual ones, or can I ??

[PUTLAND]

Hi Heady, I intend to enjoy this Christmas as we prepare for the coming year. My husband is just about upright and its a great comfort to read your message knowing you understand all the difficulties. God help us all and give us the strength to carry on. Happy Christmas Heady. xxx

[suziewong]

We too wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. We intend to make the most of it as it will be our last at home together. My husband will be going into a Nursing home sometime next month as it has become too difficult to keep nursing him at home. Lots of love to Heady and everyone. Suzie xxxxx

[Georgepa]

And to you too Heady

All the very best Georgepa

[Doglinton]

Hear Hear We are at a similar stage and one of the things I have learnt, which has been a real benefit to all our family, is to appreciate where we are and not bemoan our loss. Can't manage it all the time but today we can do it.

Happy Christmas and support to all on this site.

love to all, Jean

[nanonthenet1]

Wishing you all the very best , I'm so sorry I have not been around, our house move was hard work, we have not had Internet but we do now, I will catch up with you all, thank you for being still here, it's very comforting and reassuring , lots of stuff still to do but getting there, love to you all xxx

[Mwick175]

Thank you Heady for the Christmas wishes. It has been a difficult few days for me remembering how Christmas used to be and realizing it is very different now. My husband is depressed so I keep trying to cheer him up, but I am falling apart myself. He says he no longer enjoys life. I feel like I am just going through the motions most days and it is so hard at Christmas time. I am sitting here crying now wondering if I will ever be happy again.

[Doglinton in reply to Mwick175]

So sorry to read how hard it is for you. Chris is very cheerful. So, although I get tired and miss his input he is appreciative. It must feel very lonely and exhausting for you. I wish I could give you a hug . Here's a virtual one !

Love, Jean

[Heady in reply to Mwick175]

Hi Mwick175, really sorry to hear you have had a hard Christmas. It's not easy is, remembering w

[Heady in reply to Mwick175]

Hi Mwick, not sure what happened there, was trying to correct an error and off my post went!!! Really sorry to hear you have had a hard Christmas. It's not easy is it! Remembering what Christmas use to be. But then life is constantly changing. Wasn't that (!!!) many Christmas ago, that Father Christmas use to visit, now my grandaughter is past that stage! Although this year, we have all been at my sisters. It was my birthday on Christmas Eve, special one, (nought on the end of it!). So all our kids came and we had a big house full for the two days. First time we have all been together over Christmas, since our children were small. So the "olde man" did come visiting again. 11 stockings were left!!! My sister and I had great fun organising it! S was fine on Christmas Eve, but it was a late night, so did sleep a lot yesterday, but was able to enjoy dinner and joined in with the party games. Had every one in fits, with his descriptions for one of the films!!!

Life can still be enjoyed, we all have to concentrate on what we can do, not what we can't. It probably the hardest thing we have to do. Take pleasure in the small things, the past has gone, it's today that has to be got through and it always was going to be different from yesterday.

I've just had probably the best Christmas I have ever had. We changed the rules to allow for my birthday, S, my mother who has Alzheimers, her partner who had the flu!!!! I could go on, but I think you get the picture. I know next year will be completely different, but with the right planning and being positive, I'm sure we will be able to enjoy it!!!

You said your husband is depressed, have you mentioned this to your doctor? He may be able to help. Are you getting any help yourself? None of us can cope on our own, we all need help. That's my New Years resolution, to accept every offer and actively look for it. S has just started going to the local hospice one day a week. Seems to be enjoying it. I'm finding it a great help, I can start planning for a bit of ME time again. It's brilliant!

Don't forget our motto, "one day at a time". Just because today was bad, it doesn't mean tomorrow will be. In fact you should make sure it's not. Plan a treat, special meal, coffee out some where, anything, just to break up the day!!!

Best of luck. Hope you have a peaceful new year!

Lots of love

Heady

[goldcap in reply to Mwick175]

Mwick, I am sorry you had a sad Christmas-I did as well. I feel like there is no joy in life anymore. The rest of the world carries on as if nothing has changed as we struggle to deal with the fact that nothing will ever be the same again. My whole family is very far away and as Heady says-friends don't have a clue. Please take care of yoursel.

[zjillian]

Merry Christmas to you. We are enjoying sun after weeks of damp cold fog and wind. Love to you. Sending sun your way,

Jill

Costa Rica