Difficult day, so I thought I'd write a post just to feel better. It was a normally difficult day. Bob's ability to understand language and gestures is pretty much gone so all of our conversations sound like something out of the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. I've tried to write down some of our conversations because they are so very odd and it keeps me from yelling. B. doesn't understand what I'm saying and keeps saying "What? What? What?'. Which I know isn't his fault but.....I am tired and if I think ahead......Sometimes I wonder what will happen if I just can't do this anymore. And I know that is not an option. But the thing is, I love him and sometimes I see him again just for a moment before he turns back into this person he has become and it breaks my heart. I've been weeping this week so I know he has gotten worse. But this goes on and on and on..and he is so miserable all of the time. I am very very tired and sad..and just needed to tell you all because I know you have the same situation and understand the depth of the problems.
Love you all,