How do you respond?

So I was diagnosed in September. RPR set for Dec 19 (bad timing) I feel great physically and good mentally. This is the time of the year when we run into friends we haven't seen since last Winter. When they ask “how are you doing?” how do you respond?

[Tall_Allen]

I'm eager to tell my story. I tell them I had prostate cancer, which was cured in just 5 quick (SBRT) treatments, and I have no side effects of treatment. If they are curious, I tell them about the process I went through to find the best doctor and treatment for me. If they aren't curious, I leave it at that.

[cpcohen]

"I'm fine!" is a lie.

"I found out I had prostate cancer, and I'll probably be cured by surgery in December" is much better.

You should be ready for responses, everything from:

. . . . "Oh, I'm so sorry -- my uncle died of that!"

to:

. . . . "Surgery? Have you thought of <anything from oat milk, to radiation treatments> instead of surgery?"

You will also get some:

"Oh -- I had it too. ", likely followed by a story.

It's not your fault, and (if your business and professional ties permit) there's no reason to hide it.

. Charles

[Mikeski]

Good post, I just finished SRT w/ ADT 18 months after RP. PSA undetectable at the moment but I don’t like being identified as being “that guy with cancer”. I’ve always been the easygoing all’s good type. My extended family knows and most friends but some I haven’t told. It’d probably better I was open and let everyone know without hesitation, but that’s just not me.

[bobdc6]

"Great!"

Need to know only.

Bob, G9

[jctaylor]

I had RP 6 months ago (G9). I've been pretty open about it. All family know and most friends and neighbors know. I have nothing to hide from anyone. The most common reaction I have received - eyes get big, jaws drop open and they say "Wow, you look great!" The second most common reaction - eyes get big and jaws drop open and they say "But that can't happen to you!" because I have been a vegetarian and very diet diet/exercise/nutrition aware for most of my life.

[DS_WAVL]

That’s a very individual thing. I was pretty open about it because I like to share and also remind other men that PC screening can save their life (as it did mine)- however my best friend opted to not share. It’s all good.

[pjd55d]

Responding to " how are you " - which one hears whenever you encounter a friend or acquaintance, varies a great deal - with the relationship as well as the personality of the asking party.

To those who know I have pc ( and by choice I have told only a few ) I usually say; " doing well living with it - or moving forward with my life and grateful for the good stuff. "

To those who do not know - especially casual quintessences I say

" doing well with my life - thanks for asking. And how are you. " I have found that people have a startling array of reactions to information about health: some are quietly understanding and supportive - which is what I want and need, and some are over the top with drama, worry, fussing and gossip to other people who have no business knowing about my personal/medical issues.

I have also experienced with long established - which I thought were supportive relationships - that as soon as they hear " cancer " they leave. On the other side are friends who say - yeah you mentioned it - how are you doing. Interesting that 3 of those casual friendships are the ones that are regularly quietly supportive - 2 being long time fuck buddies that are sticking by me even though there is no longer sex. And when I comment: " you didn't run away, " they say: " you are y friend - why would I do that. "

So I believe that how to respond varies - on who is asking and what YOU need from them.

Best

[dadzone43]

"Great. Thanks for asking"

[j-o-h-n]

I'm contagious........

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Sunday 12/01/2019 9:26 PM EST

[Drphil1938 in reply to j-o-h-n]

You are, I am now infected with humor. 🍸🍸🤠

[j-o-h-n in reply to Drphil1938]

They have a cure for humor.......It's called "a case of the crabs"....and it's not a laughing matter....😢😢😢

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Monday 12/02/2019 5:40 PM EST

[Drphil1938 in reply to j-o-h-n]

The cure is to shave one side set fire to the other and when they run out stab the with a toothpick.🍸🍸🤠

[j-o-h-n in reply to Drphil1938]

hahahahahahahahahaha................(writing that one down).... Thanks...

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

J-o-h-n Monday 12/02/2019 7:12 PM EST

[Jimhoy]

See my message

Jc

[Hidden]

Honestly .😂