I want a relationship

[Vitruviusman]

I want a relationship that is sexually compatible in how our bodies need to come together, and emotionally fulfilling. My current sexual functional limitations (ED), have been not HELPFUL in finding a MAN. I work out at the gym 3x a week in a rigorous work out program. I am honest with good integrity, financial stable, educated.

[CERICWIN]

I hope that you find what you're looking for. I am almost at the end of my journey, and find myself alone, having had many relationships in my lifetime, but none lasted.

You see like a nice guy, and I don't care what your sexual orientation is; you deserve some happiness and I wish you the very best. I am sad to see that you didn't get any other responses, yet. I feel that your sesible in looking for someone who shares what you're going through and will have an understanding of what it's like to have had prostate cancer. Have you thought of the penile implant? It's very successful for some, and you don't need drugs or injections, and can maintain an erection for as long as you like?

I wish you the very best, and I wish you happiness for the rest of your life.

CERICWIN

[gwhaia in reply to CERICWIN]

Amen brother.

[Vitruviusman in reply to CERICWIN]

Thank you. We hear so many problems, I wanted to make a post of what we desire in our lives, post Prostate cancer. Life is not only about problems and functional limitations. Thank you CERICWIN for your kind words of wisdom

[2canada2 in reply to Vitruviusman]

thanks for your honesty it's nice to know we are not alone I am looking to an implant and hope to see my surgeon in a few weeks I believe sexuality is a gift for life hope you find a friend soon

[Vitruviusman in reply to 2canada2]

My family owned a home in Port Colborne, Ontario (sp?) I was raised partly/ concurrently from age 11-18, in Ontario. We witnessed Toronto grow from a small town to a huge modern city. I love the BIG T. Where in Canada do you live?

[Vitruviusman]

If you read my response it said' What I would like to create in my life" It was not a direct solicitation. This forum is to not only discuss our issues and seek advise, it is also to promote mental health and to express where we are, what we want to do, and how we want to create our "new Normal" in our lives. Truth is , all of us with Prostate cancer (removal), will NEVER be like we were before. Namaste

[CERICWIN]

Joe_Kam, this isn't a dating site, however there is nothing wrong with seeking someone of the same orientation and who would understand the problems that an individual goes through after having a prostatectomy. I see nothing wrong in anyone, gay or straight, seeking a relationship on any site where there are people with mutual interests. Prostate cancer happens to be a men's disease, and Vitruviusman happens to be gay, making it quite clear that he seeks someone with similar interests, which I do not see as being wrong in any way.

I have been rendered asexual by prostate cancer, and don't even have real testicles anymore. I still have some degree of libido and minimal erectile function, but I'm too weak for any sexual activity. I had a girlfriend who no longer calls, and I just wish that I had some kind of relationship now that I'm nearing the end of the journey, so I don't even have any immediate family left. Is there anything more pathetic than that? I applaud Vitruviusman's efforts to honestly and openly seek a relationship. This tired old planet needs more love.

Eric (CERICWIN)

[Vitruviusman in reply to CERICWIN]

Cericwin, Thank you for your emotional support. You and I are in a place where we have known suffering. We are strong enough, unlike other, who choose to criticise. We show compassion for those who suffer and demonstrate the courage to reach out in trying to find healing and a way out. I was in a long term marriage with my guy Jeff for over 15 years. Like any married couple, we enjoyed the intimacy emotional and otherwise, and security of support and "togethership". I know I will find another partner. In fact, if someone demonstrates judgement, criticizes, who would want to be with them anyway. Those that show love, openness, compassion and love, will not only survive but invite others into the space. My support goes to you Cericwin. By trade I am a psychotherapist who was working on an internship en epidemiology in breast cancer as well as male health cancers., at M.D.Anderson Cancer hospital . Who would guess 30 years later, I would experience this from the other side of the desk. The study I was working on was a Testicular cancer study. I had to interview men all over NYC. If ever I can be of help, please reach out. I will do what I can within my knowledge base.

[CERICWIN]

FYI, I saw a section listed for gay guys, and I even posted on it once just to give support to one of the guys. I am supportive of everyone, without exception.

CERICWIN

[rudolph10021]

I agree with the original poster and with CERICWYN. I know of a situation where a woman friend who had had a mastectomy was happy to find a guy who had had a prostatectomy (not that either was looking for that in the other initially), because each felt damaged in some way and could relate to the other's situation.

Maybe there are ALSO other sites where he could post, but I see nothing wrong with his post here.

[JoelT]

Have you signed on to the Malecare match site call CancerMatch?

Joel

[Vitruviusman]

I am on the malecare site but I did not know they had a dating/match site? where is it?

[Darryl Partner in reply to Vitruviusman]

cancermatch.com though it's no more than 3-4% MsM or FsF

It is cool that cancermatch has had over a million members and quite a few marriages

When our gay men with Pca Healthunlocked group reaches 500 plus guys, we can make that more "duel purpose"

For now, you can use our "people near me" tool to private message guys in or near your zip code.

[Vitruviusman in reply to Darryl]

Where do I find this "tool" people near me?

[Darryl Partner in reply to Vitruviusman]

healthunlocked.com/people-n...

[David1958]

Last time I checked, prostate cancer strikes men and only men. Gay, straight, black, white, with no regard to any of the labels we use on ourselves. I do know that cancer of any kind is a black swan event in any person's life. It is up to each one of us to deal with however we can. Nobody needs to be criticized for this devastating blow to the male psyche. Sexuality looms large there, and PC affects it profoundly. Some of us skate through relatively unscathed. Others are not so lucky. Are we supposed to demand that a certain segment of maledom keep quiet and unseen? This a hard nut to crack and I thought this forum specifically was to help any individual struggling with this issue.

[Vitruviusman]

I could always make time to help others on this cancer journey, no matter were on the time line one happens to be..

[Mrkharn]

I was just flirting with someone and the more I thought about it, how do I say getting hard is going to be a problem due to radiating the prostate? Maybe it's a gay thing. And, to casual readers, don't read in the gay forum if you can't stand the heat.

[Vitruviusman in reply to Mrkharn]

Most of Prostate Cancer guys have to deal with the ED disclosure thing. When I experimented and did not tell a guy about the ED, he thought I was not attracted to him. When I did disclosure ED many could care less and others it was a deal breaker. You figure..

[Confusing007]

I love honesty

God bless you

56, fit, sexy, love life.. European tour this August through September. Highly Educated and there's absolutely nothing wrong in ur posting. I appreciate your openness and honesty

John

[Vitruviusman in reply to Confusing007]

CONFUSING 007, my family immigrated to America from Italy. I also lived in Spain and in Germany. Where in Europe are you going?

[Confusing007 in reply to Vitruviusman]

Austria

Germany

Czech Republic

Poland

France

(About two months)

No Italy this time, but I believe Italy has it all. I've been there so many times- la dolce vita

[Vitruviusman in reply to Confusing007]

Czech republic has my others as well as Croatia

[Vitruviusman]

Czech republic has my interest as well as Croatia