Prostate Cancer just about

I am 59 years old, prostate cancer , years ago, age 54. Gleason Score 4-5, PSA, 4. Had a robotic  prostectomy. NO side effects or conditions  Problem Erectile Dysfunction. No social life. I work out at the gym 3x a week completing a rigorous Cross Fit/Weight training regiment. Despite keeping fit, once men find out, I cannot get an erection, "the make nice routine" begins and the date ends. Thus, I have had no intimacy in over 4 years. I have friends but with no physical intimacy, I have this constant melancoly feeling that does not go away. I tried the ED drugs, the tortuously painful pump, do not want the penis implant, and do not like to inject my penis with the  medication to create the erection.  This leaves nothing else.  I need to hear from other men to learn how you are coping and most importantly ,what we can do,allowing us to create fulfilling relationships with other men that include intimacy and the potential of a LTR.

in addition, I found out I did not have to have the operation. The amount of cancer was microscopic, no tumor, a handful of cells. I could have been a candidate of the SPOT-ectomy where the surgeon goes in  to the prostate, like a biopsy, takes out the few cancer areas, and then monitors PSA for the next year. Most with this small level of cancer are essentially "cured' When I found this out, it pissed  me off

9 Replies

  • I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I was diagnosed at 41 and have now been cancer free for 11 years. Erections were slow to return - but I credit a few things that seemed to help more than the drugs, shots, etc.  And it all will sound very weird!  I too worked out a lot, but started doing yoga regularly gwhuch allowed me to focus inwardly. I was not as broken as I thought I was. Also the body electric program was an Awakening for me. I can share more on that if you'd like. I also love my cock rings. Easy to use and helps with a "boost" when you need it. I was able to get erections again after 2 years - but credit the above with the recovery. Also a loving and supportive husband has kept me going for the last 8 years. Hope this helps.

  • The benefit is , you already have a husband.  When you are single, you have no one. My jeff died of cancer after being with him for 15 years.  Now, dating has been tortuous. Once the guys find out I cannot get hard, It ENDS there..Do not pass go. Do not collect 200.00.  My erections have not returned after the useless operation in 2010.  I am glad you have found away out of this dark abyss.  It is healing knowing you have someone at home who is loving supportive.. That alone is emotionally healing and fulfilling. WHen a prostate cancer survivor is single, few , if any wants you. The rejection is tremendous. Resulting in a few who only want to have sex in the way that would be possible, use your imagination, and that is it.  It makes me feel isolated and depressed.

  • Actually, the points I mentioned that helped my recovery were done before I was with my current partner. All involved aspects of healing myself emotionally and mentally - the physical recovery followed. 

  • I am glad you reached healing. As for me, there seems to be no hope left. I do see any point in continuing in the game of life

  • I an glad you reached healing. As for me, there is no hope left. I see no point in continuing in this social game of life.

  • I am not certain this will be helpful, since my situation is different. I have a long term partner; so I am no looking for one.  However, I do seek sexual play outside our relationship (openly) and so ED was a big issue for me. I actually "advertised" my ED in my profile (with emphasis on all the things I could do as well) and found a number of men who had similar issues and we had very enjoyable experiences because we knew what we were dealing with and didn't start with unrealistic expectations. I actually also found a couple of guys who did not have ED problems but whose sexual interests were such that they did not find my limitations an impediment to enjoyment.  I do now get "sort of" erections but nothing that will remain--certainly nothing hard enough to penetrate. But I did find that being upfront about my ED helped.  I know my context is not the same and I don't have as much riding on this all, since I have a long-term loving partner; so take this for what it is worth.

  • Thank you for taking the time to write

  • I'm sorry you are having so many problems. I hope you find someone who will love you and accept you with your sexual limitations. Don't give up hope.

  • Sorry your sad,,,,but don't give up ,there is someone for everyone,,when you find them it will boohoo wrth it!,,,,good luck 

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