I feel like I’m not enjoying my pregnancy as much as I thought I would (or should) because I don’t feel or look pregnant -18weeks

[Brandi1234]

Finally past the 12 week mark where I can share it with the world but I find myself not doing so because I don’t look or feel pregnant and it’s making me quite sad.

I know I’m lucky to not have any symptoms as such, and I’m sure they will come hard and fast later down the road but at the moment I’m really sad that I don’t feel anything.

This is my first and long awaited. I thought at this point I’d be screaming it from the rooftops or generally enjoying being finally pregnant but I’m not. Some days I even forget. It’s like it’s not even happening and I’m scared I’ll regret not enjoying this process like I should.

Did anyone else feel this way or have any advice?

Thanks ladies x

[kelsbels88]

Hi I struggled to enjoy my pregnancy until I could feel them moving. Which sadly for me wasn’t until 28wks as I had an anterior placenta so it was cushioning all my little ones movements. I also really struggled with the change in my body size/image and spent the first 6months or so “hiding” my bump.

For me I had really bad anxiety so always thought the worst so essentially didn’t allow myself to enjoy it to start with. Once I got movements it all changed and all of a sudden I was completely in awe of little one inside me and what an amazing thing that my body was doing.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It doesn’t matter how you feel your feeling are valid. Just be kind to yourself. One thing I did was I asked my midwife if I could record one of my heartbeat checks at my antenatal appt. Then when I was having a “moment” I would play it to remind myself that it was all real and they were there.

💕💕

[Brandi1234 in reply to kelsbels88]

Thank you so much for sharing!

Yeah this is it, I feel like I can’t allow myself to enjoy it or tell that many people in case it’s not real after all. I just want to enjoy it as much as I thought I would.

That’s such a good idea to record the heartbeat I think I’ll do the same 💜

[noble2]

If you can try to forget people here and focus on yourself. You are pregnant and nothing will take that away, I pray. You might not be ready to share it with others which is absolutely fine. Enjoy the process for you and trust me you will know when it feels right to share with others.

[FirstMOM]

So happy to hear that you are pregnant. You will start actually feeling pregnant by week 20 22 plus when you start expecting your gender, having contraction and belly a little more pregnant like.

[Mcra]

Sorry you feel that way. Feeling in pregnancy are complicated and what you feel is absolutely valid, I hear you. I would hope that once you feel that first kick, you'll feel better. For me the second trimester was the most enjoyable because of that and the fact I was feeling much better than in the first and third trimesters. Also once I found out the sex of the baby, it became very real.

hope everything goes smoothly and even if you don't enjoy pregnancy as you thought, that's ok. There's plenty to look forward to once your little one arrives.

And congratulations 🎉

[Brandi1234 in reply to Mcra]

thank you 💜💜

[Seb9]

Pregnancy is such a weird time, for me I've never been so anxious or felt so lonely, although it's something woman go through everyday, how I felt and how my body behaved, no one is going through the exact same experience. Everyone has a different journey. My first baby came after a miscarriage and I had nerves that whole pregnancy and never quite believed I was pregnant, every scan and check up I was waiting to hear bad news. I don't think even when they handed her to me I really believed it. Second pregnancy I felt so different, I think I just relaxed into it a bit more and you sort of know that it's going to fly by so to try and enjoy it more.

My youngest is 1 now and I miss being pregnant now, your body is doing something incredible,even if you can't see it yet. So try not to feel bad about not enjoying every minute. It's the hardest and weirdest time of your life, you're allowed to feel anything you need to to get through ❤️

[Brandi1234 in reply to Seb9]

thanks for your reply 💜 yeah I think having previously had a miscarriage I keep thinking this isn’t real and so I can’t fully enjoy it which is making me even more sad because I though after the first 12 weeks that would go away but it hasn’t. Thanks again for sharing, good to know it’s not just me x

[Brandi1234]

thanks everyone for your replies and advice. Nice to know it’s not just me! 💜

[Noclueaboutbabies]

i have found myself in sort of the same situation. I am 14 weeks with my first and haven't wanted to tell people really, just incase something goes wrong or because I don't feel pregnant. We have told close family and their reactions and talking about it helps get you exited, so I would definitely start sharing.. while I don't feel I am as excited as I should be, I do a little when I talk about my pregnancy. Acting like it wasn't happening didn't work for me

[Brandi1234 in reply to Noclueaboutbabies]

this is basically how I feel! I do find myself not saying anything for those reasons, however i think you’re right-not saying anything and acting like it’s not happening is not helping! So I am going to make an effort to talk more about it and drum up the excitement xxx

[Hiyaaaaaa]

Hi I would now at 37 weeks feel one of the luckiests to not have any major mainly worrying symptoms throughout the pregnancy, as I remember the 2 episodes of bleeding were so scary and made me almost loose hopes, so much so that I wasn't excited to go for important scans in a fear of a bad news. With or without symptoms or belly I had stressed out a lot. But now I know that most people have symptoms so bad like sickness etc that some start regretting being pregnant. Some get frustrated with their big bellies and want the baby out soon. Remember the belly that starts big will last big and then GD, pre-eclampsia issues, if not anything swollen feet scare. So really just enjoy what you have and then there are other ways to express that you are pregnant. Go shopping, prep nursery, flaunt your pregnancy glow Xxx

[Brandi1234 in reply to Hiyaaaaaa]

thank you xxx

[Hiyaaaaaa in reply to Hiyaaaaaa]

I too forget even now and when I realize I feel very bad to not know whether the baby moved or not. So I definitely know that "pregnancy brain" is a real thing for me. But baby movements are really something to wait for. You will enjoy every bit of it when it starts. Even the early flutters will keep you engaged as everyday you will find yourself puzzled with a new feeling and each passing day you will be amazed of the type of movement you felt yesterday.

[Brandi1234 in reply to Hiyaaaaaa]

yeah it’s compounded for me too because I haven’t felt any kicks yet so really waiting for that to happen to feel something. I’ve had the bubbles as such but I have to really pay attention to notice. X