HELP! My youngest is refusing to wee and poo 😢😩

[Mum_of_girls]

Hi,

I’m looking for some advise or just to feel like I’m not alone.

I started potty training my youngest and for the first two days she was doing well, she did a few wees on the potty or toilet and a couple of accidents but for the last 4 days she has refused to wee or poo, she just holds herself and tells me she needs a wee and then asks for a cuddle and refuses to go.

I put her back in pull ups sns she refuses to do it in them unless she is asleep.

It’s so distressing to see her so upset, it’s affecting her behaviour as she’s clearly uncomfortable.

Iv run out of ideas, I really don’t know what to do??

Has anyone else experienced this?

Many thanks from a mum on the edge! X

[Pasaeoco01]

Hey there, really sorry to hear you’re both having these challenges. I’ve experienced difficulties with toilet training.You don’t mentioned how old your daughter is? I think their age makes a big difference in your approach xx

[Mum_of_girls in reply to Pasaeoco01]

Hi, thank you for getting back to me! She will be 3 in June x

[Pasaeoco01 in reply to Mum_of_girls]

Ah ok. That still seems quite young to me although I have 2 boys and both didn’t fully get the hang of toileting until much later, more like almost 4. Made progress with wees quickly but poos took much longer.I wonder if it’s worth returning to pull ups snd coming back to potty training at a later date?!

If you want to persevere then I would maybe suggest ramping up the incentives to use the potty. However, if she’s either worried or frightened you’re going to struggle.

Hopefully someone with experience potty training girls at a younger age might be able to help.

I also think it’s worth preparing for the long game with lots of accidents.

Good luck xx

[Mum_of_girls in reply to Pasaeoco01]

Thank you, yes I’m more than happy to get back to the pull ups, not worried about her being in them as long as she needs. She showed signs but clearly wasn’t ready.

I’m taking away anything to do with the potty for a while and not going to talk about it so hopefully she will be comfortable enough to use her nappy again.

She has finally done a wee in her nappy after a long morning of tears and tantrums so I’m praying that she will get past this soon as seeing her so distressed is heartbreaking!

Thank you for commenting, it can feel a really lonely time when things like this are going on! X

[Woo19 in reply to Mum_of_girls]

It is so hard but, please continue to just talk about potties with her. Maybe get some books and just read them when she’s relaxed. I have faced this with my son refusing to poo but, we just told him it was okay to poo in pull ups as long as he tells us he needs to go. Before we got to that point, even though he was upset we just calmly read books and sang songs about using the potty and toilet.... we got a sticker chart and said when he’s ready, he can do poos and will get stars. Just fry your best to make it positive.... good luck

[Hidden]

I hate potty training it’s the worst lol my 2 girls weren’t too bad but it’s hard the change over. Like u say maybe just stop for a bit and try again. My kids were 2 I think boys take longer my nephew although had mastered weeing in the toilet he still would poop in his pants even tho I’d ask him multiple times but then just did it eventually luckily before he started nursery.

[Mum_of_girls in reply to Hidden]

Hi!

Yes it’s so stressful isn’t it!

I’m just going to let her lead me, after finally doing a wee she then did a poo for the first time in 4 days with no tantrum and the rest of the afternoon was much calmer after nearly 4 days of lots of tears so I’m just praying we are over the worst of it now!

Not sure my nerves can take any more!

It’s just goes to show that they do it when they are ready....she can stay in those pull ups as long as she likes as long as she’s happy and healthy 🥰🥰

[Pasaeoco01 in reply to Mum_of_girls]

Aw so glad she’s back to feeling comfortable in her pull ups. I totally agree that potty training is horrible. I really didn’t enjoy it!!

Both of my boys really struggled with doing poo on toilet - it’s such a challenging time to get the balance right as you don’t want to be cross when they have an accident but you could literally tear your hair out!!!!xx

[Chloe0789]

Leave the potty out, put it with her toys and you might find after a while she’ll play with it and sit on it herself but atleast she’ll get used to it and her own rate instead

[Eviky]

I started with my daughter just getting her to sit in the potty and giving her stickers for it.. We also decorated the potty together so it looked like a toy with paw patrol stickers that she picked... I got some books related to potty training like princess polly and dash the dog that explains why you need the potty and how to deal with accidents.. You can find them in Amazon.. And once she was comfortable with the potty I would sit her down after a meal like half an hour later or so.. And read a story or play a little game for 5 min so she is already in the toilet when bowel movements start.. Important to praise them when they do well and try not to get upset about accidents or them crying, it's clearly not on purpose they are just learning but they just worried about how you feel.. She always asked me if I was happy when she used the potty and I would say yes of course.

It might have taken a total of 6 months but she goes now to the toilet on her own and clean after herself, washes hands etc and if she needs help she calls me,she is now almost 3 and a half. I hope this helps or at least encourages you to keep trying... Sooner or later they come around it, you will be fine.

[GemX81]

I'm dreading potty training when my youngest gets there. For some children they take to it really easily and others it's the complete opposite! I am a strong believer that children will do it in their own time and when they are ready. And that is at different times for different children. With my eldest we tried potty training at just gone 2 and it was a nightmare! So I binned it off and tried a year later when he was over 3. And it was so much easier and he was potty trained with little effort and got the hang of it quickly. I believe he just wasn't ready when we first tried but was for the second attempt. Even though we stopped the potty training we kept the potty around so he could be familiar with it and we decorated ours too. And when we decided to try again I took him out to choose his big boy pants! Good luck!