Potty Training - ready?

[Pasaeoco01]

My son is 3 and will be 4 in August, starting school in September. He has been wearing pull ups but showing interest in the toilet when his 6yr old brother goes, hiding when he does a poo and pulling at his nappy.

Myself and my husband have taken 4 days leave to begin potty training. We’ve had a potty for some time which as he is a big boy he barely fits on this so we’ve been practising sitting on toilet with a ‘special seat’ for a while.

We’re almost at the end of day 2 - lots of wet pants however, he can hold the wee and very shouts I need a wee wee as soon as he starts going and runs to the toilet. However, he’s now decided he doesn’t want to sit on the toilet and it almost feels like it’s become a battle. He’s not really interested in the stickers/reward chart and I’m reluctant to bribe with treats/food.

This morning he was upstairs and said he needed a wee, ran to the bathroom, took his pants off and did a wee albeit on the floor.

My question is at what point do we consider giving in and waiting or am I just being impatient given it’s not even been 2 days yet!!

[Buisquits]

Keep trying! He will really struggle if he is not toilet trained in september 😢 two days is a very short period of time. The weather is getting amazing again so use that to your advantage.

[Buisquits]

Sorry if it's not the response you were expecting. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, he may just need more time. He is a big boy, almost 4, maybe teach him to wee standing up not sitting on the potty?

Just be patient, he will get there x

[Pasaeoco01 in reply to Buisquits]

Hey there, really appreciate the reply. I think we were feeling a bit too optimistic given he’s a bit older we thought he might take to it quickly but in all honesty it’s been just 2 days!

It can be so frustrating you’re just willing them to get the hang of it quickly.

What I found difficult is that he’s so stubborn at times - he goes from being really excited to sit up on the toilet to point blank refusal 😂. I don’t want it to be a negative experience so it’s tricky to know how to handle it.

They do say patience is a virtue....!!!

[MissEd]

Deffo keep trying, id say 95% of his class will be toilet trainned so its important to crack it before school x

[Pasaeoco01]

I do want him to be toilet trained before school. My other son is also an August baby and one of the very youngest in his class.

We are persevering he can certainly demonstrate an element of control so I’m optimistic...just trying to avoid a battle of wills at times!!

Thanks for replying!

[Lbel00]

i would suggest leaving him bare bottom and reading “oh crap” potty training book. Currently training our 3 year old. He didn’t show any interest in wanting to. We just decided he’s 3 now and we can’t leave it any later. I think with pants on they think it’s like a nappy and don’t understand, when there bare bottom they can see. Good luck don’t give up and try to be consistent it’s the only way you’ll get it done. We’ve had the odd day weeks ago where it’s been a nightmare and I’ve wanted to give up but I stayed consistent and I’m glad I did he’s pretty much day trained now. Only night training to do and it’s taking us 3 weeks.

[Hidden]

Like learning any new skill, it’ll take time. 2 days is a very short amount of time to expect him to have grasped how to control his bladder and coordinate telling you he needs the potty, get to the potty and get his clothes off to use it.

I’d persist with the reward system. Maybe try something more visual...use two sizes of coloured balls, like every time he tells you he needs a wee a small ball (or Pom Pom...whatever you have to hand or can order from amazon) gets added to a jar and when he makes a wee on the potty a big ball gets added. When the jar is full (you choose the size of the jar) he gets a reward of his choice (you can give the option of 3 toys he could chose from, only his favourite is his goal, or maybe see what he’d like his prize to be ; he might surprise you by saying ‘a trip to the park’ rather than an object). You want him to get a sense of achievement, so using the two size balls for different levels of achievement mean he gets that reinforcement even if he doesn’t quite manage to get to the potty every time.

Once you’ve explained what the plan is, maybe let him tell you whether he wants to use the potty or toilet to achieve his goal. 3 year olds like to have a sense of their own autonomy so you give him a choice (either of which you’re happy with) you’re less likely to get into a power struggle.

You’ve got several weeks to play with and he’ll likely have a few hiccups along the way, but keep going, be consistent and praise praise praise for any achievement in the right direction!

[EJThompson2]

My advice would just be to persevere! Throw the nappies away and put him in undies everyday (And a nappy at bed time to avoid ruining his bed as that's not so easily cleaned) . He will have a lot of accidents but he will soon get it, they all do in the end! I know it's stressful and there's a lot of washing involved but it will be better for him in the long run as wetting yourself at school isn't nice! Good luck and trust in yourself that you're doing the right thing and it's for the best!

[claire16c]

Keep trying! I would have a go at having no pants or trousers on. Then he can get straight on the toilet with no fuss and no nappy type feeling against him. After a day or two of that, put pants on for 1-2 days. Then add on shorts/trousers. It’s a great week to do it wihh the hot weather. Keep him drinking lots so he gets lots of practice. If he’s going to school soon youve then got a couple of months to get it sorted as he’ll need to be ok with it by then, so you’ve got loads of time for a few accidents.

[Pasaeoco01]

Thanks so much to everyone for replying. We’ve agreed we need to persevere and help him through it, bless him.

I’ve just ordered a book for toddlers on toileting. He did his first nappy/pants no2 today and he was completely gobsmacked. I was really surprised that he didn’t seem to know what was happening at all despite having talked about it a lot. I guess experiencing was a completely different thing.

If nothing else the last few days have educated us on his level of understanding.

We’ve adjusted our mindset and expectations. We’ll persevere and support him, he’ll get there when he’s ready.

I feel terrible now for trying to ‘rush him along’ because it suited our timescales!

We’re aiming to try and relax a bit and try not to stress!!

Thanks so much for all your tips and reassurance.