Just to say your not alone c section births :vs natural

[Afrohair]

I've been having a lot of thought about c section in particulary the stigma around it I have 4 weeks left and I've been second thinking what type of birth to have I was told originally that I have to have a c sec .I've currently had 2 c sec and a natural birth both were classed as emergencies but after thinking through my whole birth I just don't know how much of an emergency they were doctors can't really say either I do know my bladder was clipped after c section but who's to know if natural would have been perfect either all has healed nicely.

I just want to take this time to post to say whatever birth you decide if your in a similar situation to me you are beautiful you brought a child into this world and the main thing is that they are healthy there's no right or wrong about birth you just want to do what's best for you and your baby and in the U.K. we have more options to deliver safely. I'm 35 now so do worry if I'll be exhausted and loose lots of blood my misscarrige was exhausting! I worry if I will want more kids in the future because in the U.K. I would have reached the end of the line max 3 c sec . I don't like the idea of the choice taken away from me I want to tell ladies that you are not alone with your thoughts I've attempted vbac once and it was not a success according to medicals but you just don't know in the moment I felt like they didn't give me much chance my 1st c sec felt unnecessary as it didn't turn to a blood transfusion but she said I lost blood we loose blood anyway during Labour don't we?but it's happened now I have to come to some sort of peace with that and be happy that I made my beautiful babies .for those who have had c sec or think they may need them I've attached an article on celebrities that have had them and how they felt about it just to say your not alone in your thoughts with worries about birth

healthymummy.com/10-celebri...

[GemX81]

Hi I just want to say that whatever you choose just go with your heart. I've lost 3 babies so I understand what it is like to go through and cope with the anxiety of being pregnant after miscarriage. And from my own personal experience I think more could have been done by my midwife to help me. I have 2 gorgeous boys both born by C-section. When I had my first my birth experience was awful and took me a long time to process it and deal with the guilt. I was induced and got all the way to pushing but ended up in an emergency csection. My care wasn't great in hospital. I felt like I failed, that I was less of a mother. When I was pregnant with my second little boy, I decided to have an elective csection. My birth experience with my second was a positive one and I did not feel guilty or less of a mother. I did what was best for me and therefore best for my baby. I bonded straight away with my second son and process in all honesty that took a while with my first. Which for me I think, was a direct result of my birth experience and the fact it caused me to loose confidence in myself and my ability as a mum. Good luck with whatever you decide. It doesn't matter how our little ones are brought into the world but the fact that they are healthy.

[Afrohair in reply to GemX81]

Thankyou I'm so sorry you lost your angel babies I lost one last year at 12.5 week and I'm filled with anxiety with this baby especially now I'm at the end of the line I'm still worried about the birth and if I'll loose her I keep thinking it's too good to be true I never thought I'd be sat here with another little girl waiting for me.im getting to the point I'm terrified something might go wrong I heard you can still have a vbac after 2 c sec and was considering asking my consultant about it but at same time I'm thinking what if they send me off for c sec again I might aswell have some control over my birth.but I don't heal well took 3 month last time to heal from c sec.that really got to me but I will never know if I have a better experience this time or not.i don't want them dictating my birth to me.in other countries they don't have much choice.i keep playing it on my mind but I need to come to some sort of peace with it that I didn't get the birth I wanted and first c sec didn't have good birthing partner I honestly wish I did that one alone but like I said it's coming to peace with it is difficult now I'm thinking of another birth And obviously birth days are a big part of our lives so the memories are vivid I want to have a good experience this time especially as it might be my last baby.What happened during the pushing stage of first baby ?i can see why you would be sad as the birth was almost done with but Medics take over the experience a lot for us.

Did you find elective more calm I'm usually quiet in labour cause of the pain but it's the people around me that annoy me at the time the medic staff ,partner it could be anyone I've just found they don't help that much and panic more than you do.

[GemX81 in reply to Afrohair]

A series of different things went wrong when I was in labour with my first. I had been labouring for a while and the contractions were pretty intense due to being induced. I asked for some pethidine to take the edge off and the midwife claimed I wasn't even 4cm dilated. But she hadn't checked me but I was hooked up to so many monitors that I naively thought she could tell how I was progressing. She gave me the pethidine. And 10 mins later I felt "the ring of fire" but she just ignored me. I felt so uncomfortable! Then it eased off cos the pethidine had kicked in. About half an hour later another midwife came to try and find out how far a long I was and told me that I wanted to push. But I couldn't feel my contractions. I was pushing for an hour but with no success. Was rushed into theatre had a failed forceps delivery and ended up in a csection.

My elective csection was completely different. It didn't happen when it was supposed to as it had to be brought forward as I had trouble with my blood pressure. But the anaesthetist was fantastic. She was lovely and put music on in the theatre. Kept talking to me through the procedure. All of the midwives and doctors were great and gave us space when my little one was born so we could bond in those first few moments. It was a good birth experience. My care with the second was completely different too. I felt listened to more. And I went to the same hospital as with my first.

[Afrohair in reply to GemX81]

Aww sorry you didn't have a great experience but you have your beautiful children at the end of it we can only take it as an experience sometimes I find the medics really don't know what they are talking about and lead us into making these decisions when your in pain it's easy to just agree to a c sec on their demands and do whatever they say in regards to pain relief I remember being offered gas n air but vomiting after every breath and them still trying to give it me I told them I didn't need any pain management in some countries it's not offered I don't know why it's such a big thing here I think sometimes they should just leave you alone to give birth if I knew what I do know I would have thought about home birth but as I say it's been an experience and I have to take it as that now X

[SRA8]

I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time. It is advice though. If you want a 4th baby it'll most likely have to be a section again. It does increase the risk but it does happen. No one can tell you not to have another baby. As long a the risks are discussed with you it is your choice.

[Afrohair in reply to SRA8]

Thankyou I've started thinking that !there are people in America have had 7 I honestly think I'm done as 35 now but I know my partner wouldn't mind I feel like I have to focus on me after this last one.i don't even have a pension sorted 😆I don't get it cause only work part time 😂I need something for me plus kids are expensive my teen has showed me that this past year how expensive they get when they are ready to go to college and leave home