Ever since my little boy moved to a cot from his tutti bambini he never goes down to sleep on his own. If I put him in there drowsy he might be ok for 5 minutes then he'll start crying but stops the moment I pick him up, I've tried leaving him to cry (I was right outside the door listening) for 3-5 minute intervals then settling him, but this was a complete fail. I've tried getting him to sleep and putting him in the cot asleep, but the second his back touches the mattress he starts crying. Then I'll pick him up and he goes right back to sleep, I've done this up to 10 times some nights with the same thing happening every single time. I've checked his mattress and sheets. I know he is physically healthy because he recently had a check up with a paediatrician. He does have attachment anxiety.
At the moment he will only sleep in our bed which never happened when he was in the bambini. Even though I take every precaution when he sleeps with us it still causes me a lot of anxiety.
Any advice please? I am really trying my best and honestly feeling quite scared of judgement about this.
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pinkie93
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I don't really have any advice but hoping you get some as my little boy is exactly the same. He only wants to sleep on me and I dont feel comfortable co sleeping as since he has been able to roll he sleeps on his front and is very wriggly. I made the mistake of letting him for a couple of nights when he had a viral infection and since then he hates his cot.
It didnt work for me but have you tried putting a hot water in his cot then removing it before you place him in so it still feels warms for him.
I'm considering moving my son into his own room to see if that helps but I did plan on having him with me for a year ( he's nearly 9 months) but he still bf a couple of times during the night so just easier having him near me.
I'm only just getting my 18month old to sleep the whole night in his own bed. It's taken me ages to get this far from co sleeping with small steps. I'd rock/feed to sleep then put him in his cot. Like your son he would wake at first but perseverance pays off in your part. He would wake a few hours later then end up in my bed with me. Eventually I started putting him down awake, but that wasn't until November when he was 15months old. I literally sat in the room on his bedroom floor until he fell asleep. Just knowing I hadn't left him was enough for him so tears were few. It's only the past few weeks that he's stayed in his own bed the whole night.
I think I need to try this! My daughter has never liked going down in her cot. She is now ok for the first part of the evening but then she wakes and it is hard to put her back down, so she sleeps with us, which isn't brilliant as none of us get a good night's sleep. She is 13 months old.
Separation anxiety is hard, have you tried putting a pillow or something of yours in his cot, so it smells of you. I find this helps with our little girl x
Babies under one shouldn't have any pillows in their cot or crib. They're not recommended as they risk suffocating the baby, because they can't push it away from their faces.
Not sure this really helps but my little boy still doesn’t really go to sleep on his own in the cot & he’s 21 months. He still gets rocked pretty much to sleep. He can put himself back to sleep in the night now but has developed this over time.
Not judging you at all for having baby in your bed but I know what it’s like to want to avoid that too. I never wanted my baby in bed with us as I was so worried his dad would roll onto him. I knew this just wasn’t the right thing for us.
My advice would be to find what works for you. For lots of people, co-sleeping feels like the best option but if you’re worried sick every night, it might not be the best idea. Your little boy is still very young and maybe he cot feels a bit big and scary for him. We used to rock our boy til he was nearly asleep then put him down, keeping very close to him. If he got upset we’d gently pat him until he was asleep so he knew we were close but he was getting used to falling asleep in his own bed. I actually still do this now but at least now he generally stays asleep for much longer! Worth trying the hot water bottle to warm the bed first as well. I tried putting my clothes in with him like some others have suggested but didn’t seem to make much difference. Some people seem to find that really useful though. x
My six month old co sleeps with me and it's showing no sign of changing. We haven't even made her nursery up yet.
She still feeds off me several times in the night and thees no way I'm getting it off bed each time, plus she sleeps brilliantly by my side, if I put her in her next to me crib she's awake within minutes.
I'm enjoying having her with me and getting some sleep! I figure she'll definitely be on her own bed one day and I'll long for cuddles from her so I'm getting them all in now as much as possible 🙈
Hope you find something that works for you guys so you all get some sleep xx
I worried about co-sleeping with my first but met a wonderful group of Attachment Parenting UK mums when I had my second and after researching safe co-sleeping found it worked for us.
6 months is so young, they are still learning so much, their natural instinct for survival is to be near their main carer. Find a tribe of local mums that feel how you do, Google your local attachment parenting UK group. Ours have a Facebook group and lots of lovely mums some with older children who help those with younger children.
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