Any advice for transitioning an 8 month old from co-sleeping to sleeping in her own cot?

[JoyfulStar]

As the title suggests we are struggling to get our 8 month old daughter to sleep in her cot. We never intended to co-sleep but a range of circumstances led us down that path.

We moved from London to Liverpool after securing jobs. As we had to move within a timescale, we decided to rent a flat temporarily and then buy later. Once the move to Liverpool happened, we then found out we were pregnant. Tried buying a house before the baby arrived but the sale fell through. We tried again but the house sale took longer than expected. Meanwhile baby girl arrived and by the time she was 4 months she outgrew her Moses basket. With no space for a cot, we started co sleeping.

Now we have moved, we bought her a cot but she is having none of it. She will sleep in it for an hour or two max before waking up and crying. She totally ignores the mobile and would rather be on her stomach. Even if we try not rushing to her, she refuses to settle. Eventually we give in and allow her sleep in our bed.

Therefore I’d like to hear from anyone who may have gone through something similar. Any advice for us? I am not that keen on sleep training with the crying it out method as she has gone through so much recently. She struggled to settle in our new house so that caused sleepless nights. At 8 months, she is going through separation anxiety and we had a recent sleep regression as she is now crawling. To top it all off, I am going back to work this week so she will be at nursery for full days starting from today.

I will be grateful for any words of advice. Thanks a lot in advance.

[Seb9]

She sounds awesome, crawling already and super determined.

I'm a sucker for co-sleeping, I'm still sleeping with my 12 month old and I know even though I grumble about it I'm going to miss her when she's gone into her own room.

With my first we put the cot open sided and pushed against our bed and she's sleep in that for the first half of the night and then crawl over to me in bed, we then moved her straight to a single bed when she was about 14 months and I'd lie with her until she fell asleep. We found that worked quite well, she's 3 now and loves her cosy bedroom and bedtime routine.

Sorry that's probably not any help to your situation 🤦 hope baby starts to settle for you soon x

[JoyfulStar in reply to Seb9]

Aaawww thanks my lovely. I agree she is awesome and is very strong willed in everything! Your idea about the cot next to our bed sounds great! Hubby not so sure about it but we will continue to discuss it.

I do miss her when she is not in bed but the sleepless nights are making me tired and more likely to make me sleep heavy and I don’t feel comfortable with her in bed when I am completely conked out. It is a difficult one.

[Mcra]

Have you considered a floor bed? We cosleep with my 12 mont old but I'm thinking of a floor bed at some point in the future. It works well for few of my friends.

[JoyfulStar in reply to Mcra]

Thanks for the reply. Not sure how this is different to a regular bed and the benefits of it.

[Mcra in reply to JoyfulStar]

Baby is more likely to stay in a floor bed than in a cot. You can stay with them for a bit and then roll away and go back to your bed. It's a combination of co-sleeping and independent sleeping.

[JoyfulStar in reply to Mcra]

Wow never heard of it. It certainly sounds interesting so will look into it some more.

[Florencehill]

Hello Joyful star. I feel your pain. Im in a similar situation and Im about to write a post of my own. Between the two of us a I hope we can get a decent nights sleep very soon. (My so is 11 months, will sleep in his cot in our room but wakes up a couple of times in the night crying and at the moment the only way I know to settle him is to breastfeed him in our bed.) Best Wishes. You have had a difficult time and you are obviously a very attentive mother x

[JoyfulStar in reply to Florencehill]

Thank you so much. I know what you mean about feeding them to sleep. My baby girl can wake up to 5 times a night and I feel like a walking zombie. I could usually catch up on some shut eye during the day but started work today so this is no longer possible. Going to sleep early so DH can look after her for a couple of hours.

Hoping yours resolves itself soon x

[Claireeeeeeeeeeeee]

Probably not what you want to hear, but maybe now isn't the right time to try and get her to stop co sleeping? Sounds like you are all going through a lot and adding trying to get her to sleep on her own might be just too much. I have coslept with both of mine and at 2 my eldest decided she was ready for her own room and bed. To start with she came through part way through the night but she soon decided her own space and quiet was better. My youngest is still with me but she is only 18 months and I think soon she will be pretty keen to stay in the bedroom with her sister. She already climbs into bed and we ask her if she wants to stay in her room. So far no but I know we will get there. I think what I am saying is is will happen at some point. She isnt going to be 18 and still sharing a bed so its up to you if you push it before she wants to or let it happen naturally

[JoyfulStar in reply to Claireeeeeeeeeeeee]

Thank you. You’ve certainly given me lots to think about. We are taking baby steps so will continue with that.

[RainbowSunx]

My son (9 months old just) was bad at sleeping for about 2/3 weeks there, so we co slept for a bit and each night it got worse, so what we done is slept next to him on the floor, maybe not ideal but it got him sleeping in his cot and both him and his twin sister slept great they nights. Now im getting less wakings from him some nights none

[JoyfulStar in reply to RainbowSunx]

Thanks for your reply. I am guessing you slept on a floor bed. Also, how long did you do it for?

[Shannnom]

I also really didn’t want to sleep train but our little boy was up every hour and both of us were absolutely exhausted. What worked for us was looking at a ton of sleep training plans and deciding only to do what felt right for us and to stop as soon as it felt wrong. For us, that was putting him down in his cot awake, going in to comfort every 3-5 minutes, comforting with lots of touches and cuddles but not picking him up, and my going in twice a night to feed him from when he was asleep, not in response to cries. He was ready for it and started putting himself to sleep after two days, but we would have stopped and tried again later if he’d really fought it. I think so long as you centre your particular baby and do only what you feel comfortable with, you can use some sleep training tools to help your baby with the transition into their own bed/room. Best of luck!

[JoyfulStar in reply to Shannnom]

I do like this idea but we’ve tried our own little version of sleep training but I have one determined daughter. I am tempted to sleep train but think I will leave it for now as she is already going through a lot of change at the moment. She now cries when I leave her at nursery which she never did before.

[Greenmum]

In think the floor bed might be a good option, I did as Seb9 and kept the cot open against our bed till she was able to pull herself up standing and there being so close but with space she would stay there all night.

When we lowered her bed and closed the cot she would always wake mid night and asked to be with us. She has sometimes gifted us with full night in the cot but really few of them.

I haven't been able to move her yet as we didn't have a room for her either, but in a month we will. I was thinking in a floor bed as well, spending the first nights sleeping with her in the new room till she's used to the new routine and environment.

[JoyfulStar in reply to Greenmum]

Thank you for sharing your experience. We had a night of her sleeping in her cot for most of the night on Tuesday but since then she has worked it out and wakes as soon as you put her down. 🤦🏾‍♀️

DH is more adamant than I am to have her sleep in her cot as it’s safer so we keep trying but she is definitely winning this battle. 😅

[Greenmum in reply to JoyfulStar]

I do feel you completely, do keep trying but don't overstress about it, you and the baby are going through a good bunch of chances already so do what works best for you at this stage and keep in mind that this are all stages and she will keep developing and will be one day willing to be more in the cot.

Before having my baby daughter I thought I wouldn’t have her sleeping with us, but in the end it was the only way I could get some sleep, and I really needed it... so we took all the precautions we could (having her between me and the cot, not between the two of us, not having her under our own blanket but with her own...) and we went that way. We do always put her in her cot and sometimes she waskes up after a couple of hours, sometimes after 6 hours, rarely she stays there all night. Sometimes she has settled herself directly in the cot so I know she will eventually get used to it and we decided to take it as it comes.

We shall see how it will work when she will have her own room, I might be a bit firmer then but at the same time I don't want to put more stress on us than necessary.

[JoyfulStar in reply to Greenmum]

Thank you so much hun.

I know exactly what you mean. We certainly did not plan to cosleep but it is the only way I can get some shut eye these days.

As my daughter is adamant she will not sleep for long in her cot and she is beginning to sense when we try to put her down, we have decided to put it on hold for a while. There have been so many changes recently we don’t want to overwhelm her. This is only her second week in Nursery so we want her to settle at Nursery and then try again. We may have success in the future as I hear she has had a couple of relatively long naps in a cot at Nursery- 45 mins and 1 hour. They apparently tricked her by moulding a blanket into the shape of a person 😂 It is still hit and miss but hope we get there slowly.

Thank you for your advice and words of encouragement. Much appreciated!

[JoyfulStar]

You are welcome. Are you going through something similar?