My 14+ month old boy is waking constantly in the night and crying out. He's fine after I put the dummy back in his mouth. I'm sooo tierd.

[Music1]

My 14+ month old boy is waking constantly in the night and crying out.

To begin with I thought it was rather sweet that he would wake and 'call for me' so I would comfort him by saying "it's ok, oh dear" etc, stroking him on the head and picking up his dummy and putting it back in his mouth. However, this has been going on now for over a month and as fast as I eventually get to sleep I am woken again. He is in our bedroom right next to my bed so I just get up and lean over the side of his crib. When I put his dummy back in, he tends to lay back down and go off to sleep. I'm trying to get him to put his own dummy back in but he's not having any of it and if I don't get up for him his crying gets louder. Any suggestions please. Think I've made a rod for my own back as he used to sleep through by the time he was one and now we've gone backwards. I've tried getting "Oli the owl' back out - with cry sensor and white noise, but it makes no difference. Also, have a small warm glow from the grow egg but doesn't help. Would just like one night where I can sleep through. Any suggestions much appreciated.

[Hidden]

Sorry no suggestions but just wanted to say you aren’t alone. We went through a phase just like that around that age and I thought it was never ending but then it just stopped so just hang in there. Do you just have the one dummy in the bed? We put a few in and she eventually learnt to do it herself but in the end we stopped dummy at 18 months anyway xx

[sweetchild1989 in reply to Hidden]

Sorry to jump on your reply buy how did you wean your daughter off a dummy my lb is 20 months and I'm trying to get him off them as he is just chewing them to bits cz

[Hidden in reply to sweetchild1989]

We literally picked a weekend as we knew it would be hard and just took it away. She only really had it at night so wasn’t too bad actually. When she would wake we would just pop in to her room and comfort her and then she would go off to sleep. It only took a couple of nights for her to not be bothered by it xx

[sweetchild1989 in reply to Hidden]

Yh my boy only really had it at night when he falls asleep I take it off him but when he stirs I give it back to him and when he wakes in the night I give it back, that's where I'm going wrong I will have to try not to give it back to him and see how he goes, thank you x

[Music1 in reply to Hidden]

No, sounds daft, but I've thrown 3 in there at different ends etc, so I thought he'd find at least one. Wouldn't mind, but last night it was within arms reach and he was sat up looking at it, but waited for ME to pick it up and put it in his mouth. Impressive you stopped using a dummy at 18 months. Thanks for your reply x

[sweetchild1989]

My lb is 20 months and he has been like this for a while now I cant remember the last time I had a full nights sleep so I feel you there, so if you get any good tips please share lol x

[Lovemylion]

My lb is nearly 16 months and we’re having the same issue. Some nights are better than others but he’s awake at least once. I’ve put it down to teething as he’s got some big ones coming through and he has had a runny nose for while. It’s a phase and it shall pass is what I keep telling myself. I take him into our spare bedroom (as OH doesn’t want him to associate our bed to become his bed 😂) and cuddle up and fall asleep together if I’m too tired to be in and out. I know im probably making a rod for my own back by sleeping in the same bed together but sometimes you do what u gotta do to survive .....so I sympathise with you....am afraid I haven’t got any tips. Xxx

[Music1 in reply to Lovemylion]

I appreciate you letting me know it's not just me. It's now 2:25am and I've been woken twice already - maybe around midnight and then again .... maybe 5 mins ago. I don't have the ability to just turn over and go straight back to sleep like his dad.

I don't think our lb has any more teeth coming through? He has 4 at the top (front) and 2 at the bottom. Goes to bed after jumping around in his sleeping bag and laughing that he has thrown his dummy and fox soother over the top of the cot onto the floor maybe 4 times and each time mummy has picked them up and given them back to him. I even settled down to watch 'bake off extra slice' even though I hadn't seen the bake off and within seconds he was crying next door again (only a 1 bed flat). I said to dad "that will be because he's thrown his dummy and fox out and now he wants them back again." Sure enough that was it. Put it back in his mouth and he decided to lay down and settle.

This evening there was no effort to even stretch out for the dummy (if that is the issue). It was almost next to his nose. Grrrr. Love him to bits but popping up and down like a meerkat and having to lean over the top of his crib bed is not helping my back. Wish we had another room I could take him into. Sounds like a lovely idea. Dad and I tried to let him sleep with us (in the early hours of the morning). Lb used to wake at 5am and we both said "no". I was worried we would cover him with the duvet etc, so we just said "It's a phase". This is another "phase". Ahhhh. I went to the Children's Centre the other day with him (to swap some reading books we've borrowed) and they all said "gosh you look so tierd." After the initial "cheers" I did ask if the others "same age' were waking through the night and 3 others said "no sleep straight through". I hope it will pass. Am exhausted Thanks for writing. Hope you're little one gets some comfort from him mummy cuddles for his teething x

[Lovemylion in reply to Music1]

My lb was the same two on bottom and four on top for aaaages and then it was round about 14/15months that a load of other teeth started to come through. May or may not be teeth but It will pass! So tiring isn’t it? But he’s at this lovely phase where he keeps grabbing my face and giving me kisses which melts my heart so I guess that’s my reward for looking like death warmed up 😂😂😂 me and hubby take it in turns and find that helps? Is that an option? Xxx

[Music1 in reply to Lovemylion]

Taking turns would be great. However, we're so tight on space in the bedroom that the cotbed is on my side and dad would have to climb over me in the night. Also, he'd have to wake up or at least move. My lb is desperate to walk and move all the time. He loves his food and isn't exactly lightweight. I get the odd mummy cuddle but most of the time he tells me to put him down as he wants to scoot off again.

[Lovemylion in reply to Music1]

Ahh I see. That is tricky. Perhaps hubby can sleep on your side sometimes then? Lol. They are so busy on the move all the time aren’t they? Hope you get some sleep soon x

[Music1 in reply to Lovemylion]

So, I told hubby "someone has made a suggestion that I Think will work". He looked at me hopeful and then I chuckled and said "we need to swap sides of the bed sometimes". To be fair he did lean across me twice last night in an attempt to comfort little one. He still wakes.

[Lovemylion in reply to Music1]

😂😂😂 that made me laugh. Well I guess that’s something. Just scoot underneath him next time when he leans over so you end up on his side. 😎

On another note there’s two methods you could try....which my mate swears by it’s called “The little Ones”-no cry method.....it’s basically all about structure in the day.....if you get all the feeding and naps in a strict routine apparently you get a full nights sleep. (I’m far too disorganised for this and I’m not sure I can rely on my childcare to follow this through). They may have tips on their website for older babies 🤷🏼‍♀️

Or alternatively you could maybe do the controversial Ferber method which is a timed cry it out...... and see if he can settle himself. We actually let my lb cry it out for a little bit last night rather than instantly rushing to him and he did seem to settle himself.....this could be a fluke night though so I won’t be holding my breath. And I appreciate this is more difficult to do whilst he’s in your room. Just wondering if you or both of you could maybe sleep on the sofa or blow up bed in living room and try this method? X

[Katja123 in reply to Music1]

Seriously, fuck everybody whose child is sleeping through 🙄.

My daughter is 13 months old and still wakes up at night. Only once in this whole time was it 1 feeding at night, usually it's 2-3. Before getting a sleep consultant it was waking up every hour for 3 months. So that is a progress.

To get rid of the passifier, try prying it out in the moment of maximum relaxation, when he is drifting off to sleep, not after. Second method is to just not give it to him cold turkey and calm down in other ways.

Also, this sounds like his wake times are too short, try increasing them little by little.

[Noobs]

Aw I feel your pain. Mine is 17 months and does exactly the same. Three dummy’s that light up and beside him him his cot but he cries and just lies there until I pop it in his mouth. He then spits it out and goes to sleep or he throws it out his cot and cries for me again. I’m absolutely knackered. I’ve tried leaving him to cry for a bit but he just gets louder and more upset, then it’s harder for him to go back to sleep🥱🥱xx

[Music1 in reply to Noobs]

OOOo Noobs. That's me exactly. Although the dummies don't light up, we do leave the gro egg on to illuminate the whole bedroom like Blackpool towers so you couldn't fail to not see a dummy or anything else. If I leave him the cry/ winge gets louder and as you say 'he finds it more difficult' and doesn't want to sleep then. Would love to know if it is the 'dummy' thing, or teeth etc. Can't remember the last time I went to bed at night and woke in the morning, without 4 or 5 other wake up calls throughout the night. xx

[Noobs]

I have to say it was getting better until he he had a cough and cold and now I feel I’m back to square one. We’ve been leaving the upstairs bathroom light on so he can see what he is doing but last night I shut his room door after the 3rd wake up. He didn’t stir again until after 7am which is unheard of lol. I wish I had some advice but from what I hear boys seem to be harder work🥱🥱. I just want one full nights sleep like you.xx

[Katja123 in reply to Noobs]

Ha! Once you get one full night of sleep you will be unstoppable and want more of those 😁😁😁

Makes me angry, knowing that my daughter can go 5-6 hours of sleep without food, but still a rare occurrence.

[gillyl]

I did cold turkey with my son at 6 months. It was driving me mad when he was in his crib next to our bed when the dummy fell out as he was quite unsettled without it. He now uses a muslin as a comforter to sleep with. I appreciate that won't work for everyone.

Just wanted to say good luck and I hope you get some sleep soon x

[Music1 in reply to gillyl]

Thanks for your reply. Sad thing is, I never gave him a dummy up to 6 months he went without and was fine. My sister works in Childcare and looked after him a few nights and put a dummy in to get him to sleep. I was so angry (after 6 months of nothing) but she said "he'll sleep better with it and he doesn't use it during the day. It's what they'd been told to do on her course". Grrrr. He also has a soft toy comforter and sucks on the ears sometimes. Hoping he will grow out of it soon? He only woke 3 times yesterday and to be honest I'm becoming more used to being awake through the night (not a good thing as I need to be up and functioning like mum with energy during the day). Sometimes, I feel like a zombie. Will see how things go over the next month and make a decision. It may come to that. x

[gillyl in reply to Music1]

I feel your frustration, I wasn't going to use a dummy however my son had to have an operation to correct pyloric stenosis at one month old, and the nurses on the ward gave him a dummy. I was annoyed too.

Best of luck with it xx