My c-section was booked for this Thursday 25th. We've already had the date changed once, but this has been in the planner for over a month. My sister and other half have made arrangements to be there all day with me.
I had a call from the hospital saying it was no longer convenient for my consultant to do Thursday and she needed to move it earlier to Wed (as she anticipated I would be difficult and have problems due to previous laps and she's the only one who could deal with it.
I'm booked to have steriods on Tue and Wed (to help the baby breathe as born early) and a pre-op booked for Wednesday which is now the day she wants me to come in.
As my sister and partner may not be able to be there on Wed, can I insist on keeping to Thursday and taking whoever is available for a c-section rather than this consultant, or can I change to another hospital. Just wanting to know my rights, as my midwife is now on annual leave and I've nobody left to ask. I no longer have any faith in her. We had a meeting last week and she couldn't wait to get me and my partner out of the room, also she never mentioned any poss of changing dates etc.
Thank you all, just sooooo upset. Still waiting for car seat to arrive Wednesday and they then said little one may be kept in anyhow.
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I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to request that someone else does the C section or at least enquire as to whether you can have baby somewhere else. Make a few phone calls. It’s not nice for them to change the date yet again when you’ve gotten yourself emotionally and physically prepared already. It’s understandable that you’re upset. Sorry I can’t be of more help. Good luck xx
Thank you Tugsgirl. It's been an emotional journey and now I feel like every decision is taken out of my hands and she can just do whatever she wants when she wants. I don't believe nobody can do a c-section except her in the hospital. It's taken me months to get my head around this and prepare, and this is the second time she's just asked someone to call on a Friday and tell me it's changed and I can't do anything about it. I'd sooner risk my chances at a different hospital if my waters burst early. Thanks for your reply x
I would ask for a different consultant, like you, I can’t believe another consultant can’t do the c section on the same day as planned. Just say it’s causing you lots of upset and anxiety and if need be contact the PALs department...good luck x
It’s for patient advice and liaison, I’ve used it to complain about some treatment my dad had with a consultant and they are very nice and quick to get things moving.
On the below link, there’s another link about contacting your local one:
Hi Hollibob, thanks for that. My other half went into hospital yesterday (Sat) and was only able to talk to 3 midwifes as there was nobody else around. Apparently they said "on the Wed there will be 2 consultants around, and on Thursday only the one who moved me". We're all hoping I can get the other consultant although they wasn't able to make that decision. Failing that, I'd prefer the other one to take the lead if they were both in there. I doubt all this will happen as it's always tough when you get a call last thing on a Friday and everyone has conveniently gone home etc. Really appreciate your support and advice, just wondering if they've told me too late. Best wishes x
So this is for one days difference? I understand it sucks but (being devils advocate here)...
what would happen if you were not having a planned section?? You dont know why the consultant had to change date, it might not necessarily be about convenience. How would you feel if said doctor had some kind of health or family issue themselves?? Our local senior gp just had cancer and everyone was complaining that he was taking time off!!!
I think you have to be practical, you can try, but I dont think it will be easy to change your operation date 3 days in advance as there might be another consultant that can operate on you (there might not), but other said consultant is likely to have other patients too on their list.
Do you really want the extra stress of dealing with a pals complaint not knowing what's gonna happen??
I know it's only 1 day, but I only have 2 people in my life/ family that could be there (my sister and my partner). My brother has stage 4 cancer, my sister is abroad at the moment and planning on coming back Wed evening. My other half who desperately wants to be around for the birth was planned to be working in Italy over the next few days. It's the prospect of having a c-section with nobody else around and being in the theatre with a load of people I don't know and no support. My midwife has even taken annual leave. My parents are no longer alive. I don't do well with medical things and have great anxiety at the best of times. Being told you'll have to do it alone and 'deal with it is tough for me.
I am sorry you feel let down by your consultant I know you’ve had such a long tough journey. Did the consultant give you a reason at all for the rescheduling? Maybe she has got a genuine reason for it. I’m not trying to defend her because I can totally understand why you would feel upset by such late cancellation but it’s good she can schedule you in the next day it’s not too long to wait. Do you need the additional stress of trying to get another consultant at such short notice for the sake of one day? If she feels she should do the c section maybe she is the best person to it I’m sure if she could’ve given it to another consultant she would’ve done so instead of rescheduling. All that matters is getting your precious baby out safely as possible. If you were having the baby naturally you wouldn’t get advanced warning so hubbys work would have to allow him to be off - my hubbys work got an hours notice - my labour started through the night but the work had to deal with it. I understand you need your hubby there & he should be there - I’m sure his work should allow him to have it off - get the hospital to send the proof via letter or email. I can’t imagine a company not allowing a man to be present at his child’s birth that would sound illegal. But if your relationship has broken down badly with your consultant you have no trust left then perhaps it is better to change surgeons they might not be able to fit you on Wednesday but if having a different consultant makes you feel happier do it. This is such a important time for you. Ultimately no one can tell you what to do but I do support you with whatever you decide to do.
Not long left until you meet your miracle baby that’s an amazing moment nothing should taint that special moment.
Wishing you a safe delivery. Very excited to read your birth announcement & see you get your precious family you’ve fought so hard for you did it 👍. So excited for you 😍 xoxo
Yes, I know you're right Jess. Hoping he gets the time off and they don't insist he goes out tomorrow to start things. I only had a call from someone in the hospital as she wasn't available. I was told "it was inconvenient for her, and she wouldn't be around". However, yesterday when other half went in, the midwifes said she was scheduled to be in on the Thursday. I just felt mad that I was an 'inconvenience and yet she is asking my oh and sister to get on a plane and drop everything last minute when it's been planned for such a long time. I'm know I'm just being stupid but we had everything planned out. Sister being picked up from airport and meeting us at the hospital etc. I wouldn't complain anyhow, not my style. But we haven't had a great relationship with the consultant from day 1. Thanks for your best wishes Jess. I guess I'm just super anxious and wish I still had my mum alive to be there. Also it's hard when my friends are teachers and it's the last day of term so they're not allowed time off to be with me. Thank you for your kind words. I just need to sort my head and emotions out as they're all over the place at the moment. Hormones I guess. Bless you x
It’s not stupid at all it’s totally understandable this is a huge moment for you- you’ve waited a longtime and want it to be perfect.
I’m sorry your consultant has behaved so horribly I hoped she’d had a genuine reason very disappointed to hear that 🙄 what’s happening to our nhs 😔 I can remember having my son 20 years ago my midwife was upset to have missed the birth as she was on holiday but she did all the early visits - when I had my daughter we didn’t see our midwife once after I had her it lacks such a personal touch I would’ve liked our midwife to have met our little girl having looked after us throughout the pregnancy. As for consultants the only consultant I’ve ever felt was human (!) was our fertility doctor he went above & beyond definitely felt he cared very rare in the nhs these days where doctors are so over loaded & over stretched adhering to strict low budgets.
Put yourself first & do whatever makes this easiest for you.
Above all don’t allow any of this to spoil this special moment.
P.s sorry to hear your mum isn’t here anymore. xoxo
This is about you, your body and your baby. Having a baby is quite a rollercoaster as it is let alone to be told you have to have your section on a day when you know your support can't be there.
I would be quite upset if this was happening to me and I'm quite an easy going person. I've never had an op and so I feel like a section is a fairly big deal. And you deserve your support there.
Perhaps explain to them that you will have noone around on that newly scheduled day and that you would like to and is there anything you can do to change it?
I would say be polite, enquire and just try not to allow it to distress your or your baby too much.
I've heard from my sister and she said she'll be there no matter what. Bless her, she was actually scheduled to have surgery herself abroad but decided not to tell me and just fly back. I had no idea. Hoping she doesn't go ahead and rush things. I would feel bad if she cancelled as well. I feel sad that she was trying to fit in her thing and the birth on her time off as she works abroad.
It was just such a shock hearing the news. I have been in hospital and had surgery before but I was so anxious, angry and tearful etc. I don't even do well with injections and after having IVF many times you'd think I'd be fine by now I'm just so rubbish with anything medical, hospitals etc. I think deep down this c-section is kind of worrying me as I know I'll be awake. With all other procedures etc, I've been asleep and unaware. I know thousands of women go through this and I take my hat off to them. To be honest, I've been anxious all the way through this pregnancy. It was our last shot at IVF so this is our miracle baby and that makes me quite tearful and emotional. Sorry, just completely went off the wall when I got the news Friday. I'm sure things will work out. Bless you. Take care x
Sorry I’m not sure about the dates whether they’d change it or not but have you checked that you’re actually allowed both your partner and sister there? As most hospitals only allow 1 person for a c section. I wanted my mum and partner there but she wasn’t even allowed to wait on the recovery ward just had to wait to see my twins the next morning at normal visiting hours x
You've got me thinking now. We went to an antenatal day and were told you can have 2 people in your room but only 1 person in there for the c-section. Also, only 1 person could stay overnight, so by having 2 you can 'swap them out' kind of thing if one needs to go home and shower/ sleep etc. They gave us the impression the other person could be waiting in the room whilst my other half was in the surgery. Sad to hear they wouldn't even let your mum wait on the recovery ward. Maybe the room thing is different. I will have to confirm tomorrow. Thanks. Twins, wow so much respect. I'm exhausted just 1. x
I had my mum and sister with me in the delivery suite however my lb was back to back so ended up having a forceps delivery, I was prepped for an emergency c section tho and was only allowed one person with me in the theatre room when my lb was born. After that I was allowed one person in recovery but they were allowed to keep swapping and once on the main recovery ward they were both allowed and one could be with me 24/7. Hopefully your hospital will be the same xxx
Awww thank you. It does make a huge difference having loved ones there for something so important. Thinking about it, my last scan showed my little one was back to back as well. Don't think I've had that before at a scan. We'll see. Huge congrats on your lb. I can understand why they say only 1 in theatre as I hear there are quite a few other hospital people doing different things. Thanks for your reply. It makes sense and hopefully I'll have that option when it comes to it x
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I'm just so rubbish with anything medical, hospitals etc. I think deep down this c-section is kind of worrying me as I know I'll be awake. With all other procedures etc, I've been asleep and unaware. I know thousands of women go through this and I take my hat off to them. To be honest, I've been anxious all the way through this pregnancy. It was our last shot at IVF so this is our miracle baby and that makes me quite tearful and emotional. Sorry, just completely went off the wall when I got the news Friday. I'm sure things will work out. Bless you. Take care x
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