Feeling really really down today :(

[Mango401]

Hello everyone sorry for the downer of a post. Feeling really really down in the dumps today I had to leave my job at 16 weeks as was suffering such bad HG. I am now 28 weeks tomorrow. My partner has been working none stop for us both. Our little one wasn't planned but we are both over the moon! My major hobbie is horses, have had them since I was small. I have two just now and they are the only things keeping me from going insane as I have worked since I was 11 years olds and have always been very independent with my money so I hate not working!(as strange as that may sound!!) I've been trying my hardest to get a job as keeping a house isn't cheap and certainly isn't when you add the expense of having horses too and a baby on the way! I have been left with a nice horse bill the last week as my poor lad was very ill which really hasn't helped things. And partner admitted to me last night that would be so much easier without the horses and he didnt really want me to have them anymore. He hasn't admitted it to my face but keeps making little hints about me getting a job. I've been trying to get a job but as soon as you say your 7 months pregnant they want nothing to do with you, and to be honest I can understand why. I just don't know what to to do and I am soo heartbroken about thinking about having to give up the horses as they are my life! I'm also quite worried if I do I will become completely depressed as the horses are really the only things getting me out the house these days. I can not stop crying today and as awful as it sounds just wish all this had happened a year later where we could have been a bit more prepared

[Hidden]

Oh hunni ur right no one will employ u now. .As they know they will only get 2 months work out of u...u need to have a chat with ur oh and say the thought of giving up the horses is too upsetting at the moment... when the baby comes u may find it too hard to look after them as well but they are decisions u can make later. ..its unfortunate that u had to give up work but pregnancy is so unpredictable, money maybe tight for now but it won't be forever, u just need to try and be really careful and try and cut back on things so u can manage till u get back out to work, don't be to hard on urself and u just gotta say what will be will be and deal with what is going on at the moment like u growing this baby, u can't change What's happened u just have to deal with it the best u can x

[Mango401]

Thankyou it sounds awful and I feel like such a bad mum for saying this, but I had to give up work for the wee one, I had to give up my body for the wee one, my social life is gone and now possibly the horses.. I don't want to end up resenting him for it!! I feel so awful saying it but its true. The horses are the only things keeping my head above water and are pretty much the only thing that gives me happiness just now!! They are my therapy, always have and will be!! I'm soo scared I will end up getting so unbelievably down if I had to let them go. I know it would be easier money wise without them but they are literally all I've got in my life!! I don't really know what I would do without them! It was hard enough having to accept that I had to give up my job in the first place due to being so unwell, and I really hate not working but I just can't get a job! No one will take me on! I just feel so useless!!x

[Hidden]

Hey! What an awful situation, I don't know much about horses, stopped having anything to do with them after a serious accident, but is there such a thing as "renting" them out if? For example someone takes them off your hands for a few months, pays the bills etc but gets to use them, a riding school maybe? Probably sounds silly actually! Just would be nice for you to still own them but someone else is taking a bit of the responsibility for a while, just till things get a bit easier financially? X

[Mango401]

I've thought about doing that, but only thing is no one is really keen on taking on my two as they are babies and can't be ridden! Only thing that worried me with doing that aswell is if I loaned them out for a year or so, I would loose my fields they are in which are literally two minutes away from me house which is great! I just feel so bad as it sounds silly as they are animal but they really are my babies to!!x

[joda in reply to Mango401]

If I were you maybe look into some local riding clubs. When moved had to leave my pony and we still pay for her. she's cared for by someone else which is a good job as at mo, even though she's 35 I really wouldn't be able to care for her myself :/ however there's a few local riding clubs and I know with some others being pregnant and having young horses some of the members have been willing to take them on and even do training with them on loan until the ladies have been able to take them back. Also kept them very involved inviting them to watch training sessions etc. Or advertise in local agricultural shop or on any local sale website, things like preloved are often quite good. There's often quite a lot of people willing to help. Would maybe mean still paying vet bills if needed but would take the expensive side like feed and so on away for the moment and you'd know they were coming back to you. Really feel for you as broke my heart to leave pony where was, but knew was for best. really hope you work it out x