Ha - mildly amusing
Haha - laughing
Hahaha - saracstic laughing
Hahahaha - Staying Alive
My dog walking business finally went bust today. Had to call in the retrievers..
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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but he soon realised that toucan play at that game.
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I have a pencil that was owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
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I set up a new email account today. Set the password as ‘beefstew’ but it wasn’t allowed.
Apparently it isn’t stroganoff.
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.I met Sean Connery once and asked if he liked herbs.
He said yes, but only partially.
can't stand people who commit crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
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Horse in the pub having a few beers when spots a donkey sitting in the corner. He nips over to have a natter.
The donkey asks "what did you do for a living?"
Horse says "I ran on the flat in the summer & over the jumps in winter".
Donkey says "I worked with the kids on Blackpool beach", then asks "did you win anything?"
Horse says "yeah on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger & the Derby. Over the jumps I won the Grand National & the Gold Cup".
They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later, donkey thinks, "I need to impress this guy he's done everything", so he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace.
The horse arrives & says "lovely place you have here, who's that in the picture on the wall?".
Donkey replies "thats me when I played for Juventus"..
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I bought a head of lettuce from a grocery store called Mammas and Papas.
I can't eat it because the leaves were all brown.
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Is there something you can take for
Klepomania,??
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Mandy is painting the lounge, her mam walks in and can't believe how well she's doing, but the sweat is dripping off her. Mam says " why are you wearing a leather jacket and a Parker ?"
Mandy replies "Hellooo Mam read the tin, it clearly says for best results put two coats on !!".
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And one for Madbunny,
I see Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit.
It's a little fit bunny . 😊