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Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
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What are the good - and bad bits - of having a partner you live with?
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wiserlady
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I live with my mam right now but in the past many years ago all I can say about that is it was nice to feel safe on a night as the house we had was in a desolate part a housing estate at one side with a big patch of grass and a underpath and when I moved out and lived in my own I walked in on a burglar and was on edge after that on a night and same in my last house I had the bathroom light on and one night the bulb went and my nebours shed got broke into, the bad thing I remember was not been able to be daft with the cats and decorate when I wanted as it was his house and he made it clear at first we got on and it was nice to have the security of knowing I'm not on my own all the time and someone to go out with and someone to have a laugh with, and he used to cook sometimes, I didn't like the clutter he made, and when I moved into my own house I loved feeling free like I could relax and make it nice and not be controlled and I can sleep with my cat lol🐆I was master of my own home I can't wait to get my own home again, xx
A partnership and true love is wanting the other person to be happy and viseversa 💛
Hi wiserlady,I’m like Macaulay Culkin - Home Alone !!! So it is my mess, my rules and if I want to eat ice cream for breakfast I can - but don’t 😂😊
I've never been in love I realise now as they have all been unworthy and it wasn't love it was a illusion I was in love with there nice side and that was probably mainly a act 💛
think it depends on circumstances. i own my own house and it will always be mine - i worked far too hard for far too many years to give half of it to anyone, likewise he owns his business, i own my businesses and so on.
sounds like it
its a huge house, so we dont need to be under each others feet, we both have two bathrooms, lots of lounges, library etc, so we can be together or we can do our own thing and still sort of be together - we can have privacy without feeling alone,
• in reply towiserlady
That sounds perfect I can't see me living with anyone again unless I really thought I'd met the one so to speak and couldn't bear to be apart but I guess that's all fairytale rubbish lol 💘
I worry how I'll cope when mam isn't here I'll always have a pet pixie is 6 I won't always have him well no point in worrying about the future fate will open another door for me 🌈
Yes I think the mind has a way of coping with loss of parents but to loose a Child isn't natural and people do and cope, I think I'm preparing myself for it now slowly and be less of a blow when she goes I'll probably start looking for a small cocker spaniel again depends if pixies still alive he's too fat but he's very fast on his feet and runs up trees, I'll just have to be stricter and try giving him less but he eats out too 🐆🙀xx
My mams nebour lost her daughter she died age 42 and 2 years later her husband died but she is ok she lives next door to her twin sister now there mam died so she moved into her house and I was soposed to get her house next door to mam as I mentioned before but it was bad timing and I'm still getting over that too and I so want to live near mam and park 😪
wiserlady• in reply to
Get a good education, train, become knowledgeable and have skills, work hard, save and buy a house yourself, I did. got 5 big very nice houses now all bought cash and all from my own work. I had to leave school at 15 with not even an O level. Dont wait for others or luck to do it for you, you may wait forever. I would often work three jobs and then became self employed and worked 16 hours a day seven days a week for a long time.
For many years I was better off single than being with a man who was lazy or stupid or left it all to me to make things happen and pay for stuff. One of the reasons I get on so well with my partner is that he is also self educated and worked very hard and relied on himself.
What changes if you wait? And have a crappy life while you wait. If I had waited I would still be living in one of the worst parts of the country in a tiny crappy run down house, living hand to mouth. That was all I could afford then. And I had to do three jobs to manage that then, working seven days a week very long hours, plus rent out two bedrooms. It was the only way it was possible.
The harder you work, the more sacrifice and effort you make the luckier you are.
• in reply towiserlady
Yes I've done all that I'm 56 I worked hard saved hard 6o hours some weeeks I also did property developing was mortgage free by age 4o would have been sooner but I was held back with unemployment for a while and bad relationship but I broke free with lucky break I got a temp job and worked hard they kept me on I would have carried on property developing but I lived the house I had living near park and mam but things happened and I can't live there now and thanks to my own savings and my dad I can now have a better house that I can do as a buiseness let some off and I'm hoping to go back to work on e vaccine comes as it's kept open for me a casual passenger assistant so I just need to be patient and get a buyer for my house xx
wiserlady• in reply to
Hope you get a buyer soon, Ive always been self employed, would hate to rely on others to employ me, and at one stage I employed about 200 people all over the World, but it was very time consuming and hard work to do that - life seems to go quicker and quicker the older we get doesn't it? I spent years working very long hours seven days a week but it was all part of a plan and meant I could retire at 38 - if and when I work now it is because I choose to, to use my brain, not because I have to - and I can be very selective
• in reply towiserlady
I thought I'd like to retire but when I got the passenger assistant job it gave me a new lease of life it got me meeting people and it's not physical demanding as I have knee issue and wouldn't want to work in kitchens anymore and I'm on change of life too hot lol but the virus has put it on hold as too high risk as I'm with my mam and help her a lot she has arthritis and back trouble and heart so I chose to leave the job to keep my mam safe and they said I can go back when I'm ready hope you have a good day 😊🌞xx
wiserlady• in reply to
am really glad you like your job Curly, bet you are looking forward to returning to it after the lock down. I know a lot of old ladies who are at home all alone with such problems, and they do cope, somehow, sometimes they pay a cleaner or whatever. Hope you have a good day too.
A complicated one wiserlady. If there's one thing I'd pick that's a bit annoying about living with someone else it's not being able to take over my entire bed, except that I can, as my partner works permanent night duties on a 4 on/4 off shift pattern, so the cat and I take full advantage when he goes off to work! But generally we coexist really well. I think it's all down to compromise really.
wiserlady• in reply to
yes and you could alwys insist on separate beds
That's so sad. I can't imagine what that must be like.I miss my Mum and Dad so much, I will never get over losing them but have learnt to live with it. Find it very hard , I'm also lucky having a fab support network of family and friends and of course everyone on here.
Love and hugs Lynne xxxx ❤️ 💜
I have a huge hand made bed,made to my specifications and preferences.
sounds wonderful, after all you spend a third of your life in bed, so why make do - my bed is super soft, i cant cope with a firm/hard mattress, and its nice to be able to move around and adjust as suits you - you are only here once so do everything the best you can
ive also got spine problems !
Exactly mydexter, 31 years for us and this awful year has just brought us closer and made us more thankful to have one-another.
focused1Reading Rabbits
After 34 years - good bits are the support and the friendship . The off loading and the laughs . The tricky DIY jobs .Bad bits - having to cook when you don't feel like it , not really totally in control of your time and having to substantiate what you spend your own wages on . Trying to keep the peace with all family .
We have been married 40 years in July and we are still the best of friends. I am very thankful that I have such a lovely husband.
To me it depends on the relationship between the two. One good thing is you'll find out if you're compatible.
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