Tuesday, A Failure

I am only just now able to write about my experience yesterday. I realise, that I did not get a second opinion about my husband's health condition. A second opinion should be given at a different hospital, and by a specialist who is not a colleague of the original specialist.

I also did not realise that there would be a third person involved during the consultation who was sat taking notes of all that was said. It actually felt more like an interrogation as to a consultation. I was also not allowed to go into the consultation room until my husband had been seen first. This left me in the waiting room for at least over half an hour.

I was finally invited into the room, but my husband was still present and I was not given any privacy to convey what I wanted to say in private to the consultant.

As for the discussion upon the amount of money that we had gone through, plus showing the receipts, none of this was taken into account. The medication issue was not properly addressed, and I was left without any guidance as to how to cut down on Michael's medication, or even get a change of medication. Consequently, there are serious consequences to withdrawal of his current medication.

This consultant said that I would reach burnout if I was not careful, to which I replied 'I already have reached that point.' I said that I could not cope for any longer with the current situation which has been going on for nearly three months. His reply, was that 'I was taking on too much.' Under the circumstances, this is unavoidable, as I am the sole carer for Michael.

Recommendations for my husband included, going for daily walks, doing some dusting, taking up a hobby etc, all of which are an impossibility as Michael just sits in his chair all day. I did ask about the long term prospects for Michael in his current state of health, the reply was 'I think that there is a bit of life in him yet.' At this point I wanted to go over and throttle this man. As for the situation with our car, the consultant suggested that Michael should try driving around locally for a while, and then see how he felt! All of this after he crashed the car, and it is still awaiting a repair.

I just wanted to walk out of that room and never return again. I really think that humanity stops with psychiatry. I am sorry that my post sounds so gloomy, but I feel totally washed out today. On top of that, I then went into a supermarket only to discover just how many of the shelves were being emptied. Tinned foods, toilet rolls, all of the usual panic buying items. I just need to hide away from it all, but the thought of another national lockdown is too much to bear, especially with Michael being so ill as he is, and no one being able to help us. I do thank all of you for your prayers and good wishes, as you are all so kind. You are the only bright spots in my life at present. Thank You.