Are you living alone with no visitors (even if only due to virus and being safe)?
How are you coping with this? Do you keep busy?
Living alone: Are you living alone with... - Positive Wellbein...
Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
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Living alone
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wiserlady
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I don't live alone but my sister in law has been on her own for many years. She now has a dog and goes out twice a day, she also sees friends for coffee. I've been to cafes now and you go in with your mask on and take it off when you sit down. The seating is kept further apart.
Hope you are ok.
wiserlady• in reply to
We used to go to a cafe before this virus, and it is open now but my partner wont go there as the seating has not changed and everyone is very close with no masks. I suppose you can keep in touch online anyway, but its not as good as meeting. We zoom with family twice a week.
• in reply towiserlady
Oh my goodness, that cafe hasn't done well at all. The cafes I've been to where I live have got less table and chairs. What about catching up in a friend's garden, depending on the weather of course.
I'm glad you Zoom your family but it's not the same at all.
I hope you are able to meet up with some friends.
wiserlady• in reply to
Not possible to catch up with a friend in their garden - all live too far away and would be at work all day weekdays. We have visited my guys son and been with them in their garden - but thats a three hour drive each way.
• in reply towiserlady
Such a shame that you all live so far away. I'm glad you were able to catch up with your partner's son but that is a long way.
Have you thought about trying a new hobby, just a thought.
wiserlady• in reply to
LOL. We are not short of things to do, we are very busy. I own and run my own busy business, helping people all day, my guy is a builder, decorator who is right now painting the outside of my house and will then be seeing to the guttering, fencing, garage and much more, then painting the inside of the house. We have a long list of things to get around to when we have more time. My guy runs a large local club, its time consuming, but right now they cannot meet because of the lock down. I run a charity. None of that makes up for contact with real people you know and who care about you.
• in reply towiserlady
I'm glad you're not short of things to do which is a godsend. My hubby didn't go out during the lockdown but stayed busy with doing things around the house and in the garden i.e. making planters for the garden, repairing the drive, doing things in the garden etc. I found it hard not seeing the grandchildren but spoke to my daughter every single day and spoke to the girls, our grandchildren fairly often. I was glad to be able to meet in a family bubble when that was lifted. My life saver was to go out power walking or cycling every day as the weather was stunning.
wiserlady• in reply to
Sounds like despite everything you had an interesting and full life full of love, who could ask for more? The worst bit must have been not being able to see the family - but sure you could have skyped or zoomed with them. My guy shut down his business and turned away a lot of money - which became a problem - rather than go out and meet lots of strangers who might have the virus - but at least he is useful here doing decorating, building, maintenance etc, things that he might as well do then as try to find time for later when busy again.
• in reply towiserlady
I certainly couldn't ask for more, grandchildren are worth their weight in gold. It was hard not seeing them, we did Facetime, video call and I read them a bedtime story via Facetime which was lovely.
It's been tough for a lot of people but I count my blessings that I have food on the table and a bed at night.
Hello Jerry, I used to be at "home" most of the time before the virus - as my office is attached to my house and I was working helping clients full time when it suited me - my work has not changed at all other than it has become a lot busier now. People are having more time to worry, think and question things and need to turn to someone then. Before many of them were too busy being out and about etc to get these worries!
I think if we are sensible we have nothing to fear with the virus. Yesterday I went to Lidl and went through the check out with my groceries. The couple behind me pointed out that I had left one of the items at the end of the conveyor belt. A year ago the person would have moved it forward, but they were scared stiff to touch it.
Have a nice day.
Good afternoon wiserlady,’I am disabled at home, isolating with my wife for the past five months!
I spend most of my day chatting to friends(thats what I look on them as) in this community.
But as a Military Veteran, I would like to get out to meet fellow Veterans again, but we have to be careful..... we are all in our autumnal years now, and I think I might be the youngest at 76!
Take care and stay safe!😀🌈
Greetings to you and your lovely wife. Stay safe. It is hard to get the balance right between doing what you would like to do and staying safe too isnt it. Hope the rest of the week is very pleasant for you both.
I live within walking distance of shops etc. Now that the local businesses are re opening up I try to stop by once a week at least. Today I went to the library for new books after my visit to a hairdresser. Yesterday I had a lovely dinner in town as well at a Italian restaurant. Tomorrow I am working part time and on Sunday the plan is to attend a church service in the morning too. What are your plans?
I live alone in Spain, happy with my own company most of the time, I work from home, I am studying online for a BA, and do chores if/when I have to
I get out in the morning with the dog and a cat or two, might meet another dog walker and have a socially distanced masked up chat for a minute or two
In the evening dog and I nip out for a saunter round the block and chat with my Spanish neighbours, again socially distanced masked up (we have to wear masks to leave the boundaries of home)
Shopping is a dash out and back once a week, trying to avoid face to face contact 'cos some folk forget the law re masks
I'll not allow people in my house unless it's a well-masked up worker, even my chums have to shout from the end of the driveway
Keeping in touch with family is via social media as my son lives on Vancouver Island and my daughter North Island New Zealand
Am I OK? yes for the most part till aches and pains kick in then I feel low
I live on Spain too ! Family in UK same as you dash out for supplies quite content to be alone plenty to do large garden to keep pruned and fruit to pick. Clean pool sew knit and cook daily quite glad sometimes just to chill and do nawt !! When not too hot walk on the beach. Just sad covid preventing me from travelling to UK to see recently born great grandaughter!
my daughter was supposed to be coming over from NZ this summer as part of their biennial north European tour, with my 7yr old grandson, but that came to nothing obviously, sad! I'm not sure I feel secure enough yet to travel to visit them even next year
My dogs mean a lot to me too, have a nice day.
GhoundsReading Rabbits
I have to isolate as much as possible as I have compromised immunity. I have hobbies I enjoy, online friends and my garden and pets. As an only child I have always enjoyed my own company. Life is what you make it!
YES! How realistic and positive. I also have compromised immunity and had to be isolated. My pets also mean a great deal to me. Have a wonderful day.
I live on my own, and like my own company, I work part time where I see lots of people. When lockdown happened work was shut down, and I found myself alone in my little flat, as I knew it was going to last a couple of months at least I decided I'd get things done which aren't normally done, I cleared put my spare room and found pictures I'd forgotten about, cleared out the airing cupboard, and kept myself fairly busy, then in May my mum died, since then I haven't done much, then on 1 August I returned to work, while off work my sister popped over at times, I walked to my local shops a couple of times a week, my reading group started meeting on Zoom, so I've kept fairly busy
Hello Wiserlady, I live on my own, have no family or friends, last night I had out was in 1981. Had brain injury in 1979, motorbike accident,double-decker bus drove over my head, spine forced up into skull,scraped my brain, had meningitis, now epileptic, severe memory problems, mobility problems. I love painting, got great art teacher. Just been on to Samarita ns , feeling very low, family have deserted me, have no friends, got pages and pages on whats best method to commit suicide, hope your better than me, good luck, all the best.
Hi, are you feeling better now? I hope so. The Samaritans must be a life line for you? Sometimes things like bad but remember the only way is up when things are that bad, they cannot get worse, and they usually get better.
That’s awful for you. I hope you’re ok and being supported.
Hi. I read your post. I also have a brain injury. There is an organisation called Maytree that helped me enormously. They are a suicide respite centre. Their number is 020 7263 7070. It doesn't matter where you live, they might be able to help. They completely changed my life. Do you have any input from your local Headway? Or the helpline? They have helped me a lot. Their number is 0808 800 2244. I do hope you can get some support, it has made the world of difference to me. I wish you all the best. 🌸
I love it....absolute bliss.
what do you love about it?
I love the solitude, no unwelcome visitors dropping in unannounced expecting to be fed, .....no moaning Minnie’s whose lot is so very a much better than mine.
I’m enjoying long walks, catching up on all those maintenance jobs, indulging in my love of cooking and gardening, ...it’s been 6 months now and I would welcome another 6., keeping in touch online with good friends in similar circumstances, we have a special hour each day for chats etc. Being blessed so far with no medical urgent needs, and counting my multiple blessings. ...........ah Bisto.
Know what you mean. We never had visitors dropping in unannounced. It doesnt work for us - not part of our lifestyle. IF I am in my office phoning clients and sticking to appointments with them I NEED to be able to do that without interference, not have the doorbell ringing in the middle of a consultation - or worse, someone expecting to come in for a chat. Clients have to make an appointment to speak to me on the phone, and pay for their consultation before it is put through. Otherwise I never get a second to myself or am trying to do four things at once. I dont let clients come over either, too much hassle, intrusion, time and can be dangerous. Anyway, we like to be able to get on with what we are doing when we are doing it.If we are eating a meal or in the bath we want to do that without disturbance. If my guy began work at 9 am and worked through to 6 pm and is finally sitting down for his meal the last thing we want is the doorbell going and we put the answer phone on. We never turn up on anyones doorstep without checking it is convenience and vice versa. And most of the people we know live hundreds of miles away so it woudlnt make sense for them to drive over and just turn up.
We zoom with family twice a week, but as most of them work full time - long hours - that has to be organised at times to suit everyone - well in advance.
Have a nice day.
I live alone have done for over 25 years, I have been shielding since March because of COPD and severe heart conditions and being a diabetic. I don't go out to shops (supermarkets) only to my local paper shop which I walk to every morning (5min walk) and I put a mask on before going out my front door...
I do have a brother, he lives over 100 miles away and he was shielding too, we do talk on the phone each week, I chat to my next door neighbor over the fence. But I am happy being on my own, like my own company and I do have a cat, she talks to me and answers me back when her tell her off 
Yes I get down and sometimes my mental health gets in the way, but I try and keep active as much as possible in the house and garden, if i have a down day, I will give myself a hug and my cat a cuddle, it does help.
Pam
Hi Pita, how are you today? I get where you are coming from. Being alone can be better than having people there. I can think back to when I was married to my first husband and could not get a divorce from his quick enough. God forbid that we would have been in lock down together - too awful to think about.
Hi Wiserlady, I know what you mean if you was still with your first husband, I dread to think what I would of done to my ex all them years ago if we was in lockdown. I am doing OK, I have got to go to the post office today to send a large letter off, so this would be my first time completely out apart from my hospital appointment last week, even then I was scared to go inside my local hospital. Hope you are well. Stay safe.
I am taking this chance to improve my health too - losing weight. I know someone who has diabetes 2 and has gone on a diet so that they reverse it and get rid of it.
I have been a type 2 diabetic for about 20 years, I am not over weight never have been, my bmi is below 26, I'm on no medication or injections for it, I control it by diet only. Good for you, lose weight gradually, I don't like these crash diets, don't do anyone any good. Take care
Hi Pita. I would love to be able to lose weight quicker, but due to an under active thyroid and bad metabolism, and lack of energy etc its impossible. If I cut out breakfasts but I was 13 stone 1 about five months ago and between 12 stone or 12 4 now. I find that scales are not always reliable, you can weigh a certain amount, eat very little, yet the day after they say you have put on 4 lb, which is impossible, so you must use common sense too. How are you getting on?
Hi not sure why you ask about ppl alone when you are with someone lol. I’m on my own and live five minutes from town . Also being shielding too. With being disabled. You learn to fill your day. And I don’t have family near by. But I don’t mind my own company. Not being in cafe. Train etc since coronavirus
Things are not always as cut and dried and black as white as that. Like the other lady said in her post here, she lives with her daughter but rarely sees her or speaks to her.This can be more lonely than living alone. My partner is out working most of the time, it does not follow that because he lives here we spend much time together. When he is here he is often so tired he sleeps a lot. I am on the vulnerable list and disabled, so I cannot just go out, and I have no family at all other than a step sister in Portugal I have not seen for many years. One of the things that helps me cope with all this is that I own my own business and help clients all day - but dont' assume that means I get lots of company, this is all done from the safe distance of my office and computer.
Unless I go I don’t see a single person I was also on vulnerable list and also disabled. So you are not had bad as you think ppl like myself and others online are in worse positions
Sounds cut and dried to me. lol. I get weeks at a time where I struggle to breath and have to be attached to a machine coughing and wheezing, and clients waiting for my help, so I am not going to jump for joy just yet. Am on vulnerable list and disabled and was rushed into hospital 18 times last year. But this is not a competition you know. Anyway my guy is working much of the time - so he may as well be in Australia during the day and some of the evening.
You have to if you don't things are only going to get worse the house can be a mess I can be a mess my pain can be thru the roof but I have to rember adventully I will get it done may be today maybe tomorrow I have to try and stay as positive and not mind that I am on my own I am also very grateful that I am on my own if I was not I would not want to put someone else thru it and I would not want a carer that was ment to be a lover I see so many do this and then it can mess 2 life's up instead of 1 the most Inportant thing is to rember how bad I have it there a lot of people in this world have it so much worse
Wow. What an unselfish man you are. Usually when someone is alone and struggling they look for someone to snare into being there as their carer, and give no thought to this other person. I have a lot of respect for you. How are you doing today?
Thanks for that it was very nice of you I had a half good day and did get out for a bit of a walk I payed for it after but I got out so bonus I got use to being on my own and now would not change it I tryed for 11 years with one woman and a couple with another but my health got a bit in the way so now I have been on my own for a think about ten years and try to make the most of a bad situation of corse I am human and often think about what it would be like then my pain goes sky high and I no why this is the way it will always be sorry if how I wrote my reply a bit different from other people just see your question and I thought how it applied to me and what I have done to deal with it I would like to wish you the best of luck hope you find some happiness if it is on your own or with another and you have my name I am always happy to speak I don't come on hear every day but I will always get back to you take care all the best
I don’t live alone, but it feels like I do? I have 3 daughters only one live with me. We don’t have much interaction the other 2 I rarely hear from them. Supposedly I made mistakes as a mother, GOSH I thought we MOMS didn’t make mistakes??? I’m being sarcastic of course I can’t take anything back we do the we can there are No consistent instructions on How to Raise kids. 😷🙏
How old is the daughter that lives with you?
36 , because of the virus she has Mo job like millions of other’s. 😷🙏
Unfortunately we bring them up and when they leave home and start leading their own lives. I’m always reminding my two lads I’m still here but both live a 100 miles away. When my youngest was still at home. Only words he would say was going out or what’s for tea. both my lads talk to me but my daughter in-laws tell me everything lol
I know a lot of mums who say their grown up kids dont visit much. Its sad. Sometimes the grown up kids are too busy with their own lives or too far away, other times they feel their mums are too interfering or bossy or whatever. My guy's son visits but as he lives so far away and works full time it isnt often. BEFORE the lock down we used to see a fair bit of the rest of the family. But they are all indoors all the time now. There is no excuse not to phone or email or zoom or text if there is a real connection. Even a very busy person has time for that. I keep in touch with my step sister in Portugal regularly and she and I are two of the busiest people I know, working far longer hours than most, plus much else to do too. It just takes a few minutes.
Mine ring me regular but as I said both moved away with their jobs one is military so is his wife and my other his boss asked him to open his new business And while working away he met my now daughter in-law. Both my daughter in-laws in touch nearly everyday. My plan is to move closer to them.
Moving nearer to them sounds like a great idea. You would definitely see them more even if they are very busy and not able to get together much.
I had a friend, she recently died of cancer, she has / a daughter and two grand kids she doted on, she was forever travelling a long way - three hours - to see them each week. I know her dearest wish would have been to live with them or next door or very near them, which for all different reasons was never going to happen, but her daughter was actually fed up with her visiting so much and told her not to keep coming. Her other child, a son, lived / lives in USA so she very rarely saw him.
But I noticed it was always her that contacted them and went to them, they never made any effort with her and never ever visited her. Felt very sorry for her. Think if she had been busier with a job or hobbies it would have been easier for her.
Oh that’s sad bet they wish she was still here now. I lost a friend end of November to cancer and she said don’t wait for life to be over but live it. Both my sons wanted me to move closer as they say I’m getting on lol I’ve just started to look in Feb But then coronavirus hit. So that’s delayed everything.
Yes and the price of property has gone down, which is great when buying but not when selling. Its good they want you to move, many sons and daughters hate it if near their family and feeling forced into seeing them. I had another friend who took it upon herself to move near her kids and then they were always too busy for her, she got fed up with never seeing them and moved back to where she was before. Anyway you have your daughter there with yuo now so not alone.
Don’t have a daughter and yes some parents don’t have a relationship with their kids. But when you have one of them you make sure your kids have a different relationship with you. But I don’t have to worry about mine getting fed up guess I’m lucky that way
Oh sorry to have got that wrong, must be a different post by a different person. To me the ideal thing is to have loved ones who live near you but dont expect to be able to just walk in and out whenever they feel like it, who understand you need privacy and are busy at times, and vice versa, of course if you are meeting up with people a long way away it has to be arranged anyway.
I’ve never done that to my lads lived in each other’s pockets. Always believe that ppl need own space. Even when visit I stay in hotel. But once I move I will be helping with child care. To babysit my grandkids
Great idea. then everyone benefits from it. My friend used to travel for three hours each week to take care of her two grand kids, but her daughter kept saying she didnt want her there so much, it really upset her as she lived for it. Of course, in her case she was using that as an excuse to visit. Her life was empty apart from that though.
Yes I thought that. People do not use a lot of sense and fear takes over. They must have assumed that maybe I had the virus and had contaminated that packet of beetroot. If that was the case the odds are that I would have been coughing a lot and showing other signs of it, and probably feeling too ill to go to the shop.
Hello wiserlady, I have been living alone for over 16 years now. I used to go out before December 2019 when my knee started to get worse. The virus has just added to the problems for all of us. I keep busy doing jigsaws , word searches, forums for different things, household jobs, orders on line for freinds, emails, penpals , phone calls to freinds, family unions, Zoom meetings, filling in surveys, water garden when no rain, which sounds a pretty full life but it is merely because everything takes much longer to do now my health is failing again. Fortunately now I can have my hair done at the hairdressers again with the use of a Rollator. Yesterday I spent two hours with a freind who lives near the hairdressers, I also spent several hours trying to get my computer back to working order its still in the process. Will have to buy a reconditioned model for emergencies in future as I cannot manage when housebound without a computor the mobile tablet is too small for me to type in. Its like the cash cards if one losses a current account card how do you manage while you get a replacement. ??? Digital is far and away from a perfect solution to all problems.
I am disabled, live with my wife who is also my carer, she does everything in the house including the gardening.... I dont mind being on my own, I encoourage her to get as much me time as she can, to visit her sister in town, to wander around town, to walk the dog, go to bingo(after covid19) visit our friends(but socially distancing)
I like her to get out of the house as much as possible, for she surely deserves too!
I have to admit that I sometimes wish that she was free of me to be able to live life free from caring..... one question for you all..... what on earth is zoom/zooming??? 😀👍🌈
Hi vetran 250, Zooming is attending a meeting on line with people still able to talk to each other as if you were all in a room. Its the in thing these days I would rather meet face to face. You sound like my late husband he always encouraged me to go out myself. I went to work and he stayed home doing the house husband bit as they call it now. I can do quite a few things myself still but it s getting harder. We all have different lifestyles don't we ? I'm waiting to be assessed for a wheelchair at the moment as I don't drive you are fortunate your wife can many less able rely on family to drive them round or mobility scooters. Have a good day both.
At least you keep busy and use your mind a lot.
Very true and if worse comes to worse and I can't type I can always install a speak line to type for me. Enjoy your day.
I don’t have too many friends to write too. I’ve been trying to find a Website to find a Friend Only. But the sites I find end up being dating ones. I’m not feeling like doing that especially during this pandemic. 😷🙏
I know what you mean. It is good to have friends and you cannot have too many. Have you tried a penfriend site, many people go there looking for email friends. It is free to use them. But you have to appear very interesting, chatty and informative to get replies as there is such a lot of competition. And beware for the scammers and the people pretending just so they can ask you for money.
Thanks, do you know the name of any? I’m Not looking for a relationship. I think I’m interesting, people tell me they like my stories as I did have an interesting pass 😬
No I am busy all day usually and don't want penfriends, but if you type free penfriend site or similar into google you will get them and you can look through them and check them out. I did use some many years ago and found that many who used them were not genuine. They said they wanted a penfriend when they only wanted to write one or two lines.
I understand that, I just recalled I did have a pen pal she was from Europe. It only lasted a couple of weeks. She mostly talked about her dysfunctional family, that she and her siblings treated her like the Black Sheepof the family. Had outcasted her. I thought I was being receptive to her by giving my take on what she was going through. I’m just all of a sudden stop writing ???
Yes. One of the reasons I stopped with the penfriend sites years ago was that many were women who just wanted to moan about their problems - many of which they had created for themselves - or just wanting advice and not wanting to pay therapists and counsellors to listen, a bit like being a Samaritan to all and sundry. Got quite boring , depressing and one sided. Even all those years ago there were the fakes who pretend to be handsome young men with great jobs and then ask you for money. But the thing that struck me was that they were on a site about writing to others and could barely read and write normally.
• in reply towiserlady
I nearly got caught out years ago by someone fibbing on a website and we had met up and the truth came out and it turns out that everything was a load of lies!
If he couldn't be honest about basic things then there was no point in continuing with a relationship so I let him go before it was too late and really would have hurt worse but my pride was hurt though as I felt so stupid in having believed the lies but I was glad I found out before it was too late!
wiserlady• in reply to
Crumbs. Did he pretend to be single when married? What lies were they?
• in reply towiserlady
He had claimed that he was a computer programmer with his own company but no he wasn't!
He had claimed he wanted a relationship but no he didn't as in the first meeting we had met in a pub and he had asked me did I want to have gone on a secluded drive with him and I had said no and then he had lied about being single when married as well.
I was glad when he cancelled the second date yet again with lies and I had let him go after that and I'm glad I did!
wiserlady• in reply to
wow. how did you know he was lying about his job and being single? I would have checked that all out before agreeing to first meet. one good sign they are lying is when you can tell they are asking for a penfriend but rushing to meet or not good with words,, plenty of them out there,, lets go for a secluded drive says it all anyway, especially on first meet
• in reply towiserlady
I had thanked him for the offer of the secluded drive but said no thanks and how that wasn't really on with a first meeting!
I don't know of any specific pen pal sites however, I have become "cyber pals" over the years through participation in interest groups. My first were connecting frequently to posts of 2 members of a large garden seed exchange forum. We began corresponding offline by exchanging our personal e-mail addresses. We still correspond and that first happened maybe 8-10 years ago. Another "cyber pal" also grew out of a different interest group. We have been e-mailing each other daily now for 5-6 years. This one in particular has been so enlightening for me because she resides in a mega, multi-family bldg in Queens N.Y. and I live in a ranch style home in West TX., While I depend on my car for all shopping and appointments and she's never had a driver's license and is in short walking distance to parks, historical sites, markets and professional services. Our daily lives and experiences could not be more different but she has enriched my life and expanded my knowledge of different cultures and religions and customs in ways I could have never known otherwise.
That sounds wonderful.
Even more wonderful now with the lock down.
There used to be a lot more groups on specific subjects, but due to things like the personal ads on Craigslist closing down for very sad reasons, and AOL chat rooms closing and much else there were more and more sex starved weird men popping up in them. I once joined a group about food and cooking and it was littered with these guys but very few women. The men targeted those places because they were full of women with no interest in the actual subject. I would love to chatter about food and cookery to a genuine woman , but I am obviously not interested in telling some guy my measurements and sending him naked photos!
Years ago a very nice lady used to live around my way, she became my personal assistant/secretary for a bit. Then when I rearranged my office/work/business and no longer wanted such help here we were friends and met up regularly anyway. She then moved away due to her husband's job, but she emailed me a sort of penfriend letter every single day, as I did her. I was much busier than her so I sometimes could not write more than one line but she understood. This went on for many years until she died.I don't think it would have worked for me if I had not known her though, I tried a few penfriends years ago and they were either awful at writing, just writing a few lines, or just going on and on about their problems and asking for advice.
BUT I can remember there were about three or four penfriend sites then, which were free to join. I also remember quite a lot of "guys" writing to me trying to get me to send them money telling me all sorts of lies. One of the reasons less and less genuine people use such sites now.
You do have to be careful because even if they are not after money many of them have all sorts of big problems and baggage and want to offload it onto you. And half of the men who wrote to me as "penfriends" got this lovely idea that we would meet and get married or fall in love etc, even though the sites are specifically for penfriends and not dating. It's rather dumb of them to assume I am single. Or assume I would want some guy with no job and no prospects if I were looking. Or assume that a guy living on the other side of the World who can barely read and write would be suitable for me. But many of them do. Usually because they do not have a job etc and rely on you for somewhere to live and money etc if you are silly.
It's good to be in touch wiht people who are honest and genuine and different to you. Have a nice day.
Yes, Wiserlady, my "cyber pals" have been a wonderful addition to my friendship circle and like most good friendships they occurred out of specific shared interests and grew over time as trust developed between us.
I so agree with what you wrote. Now more than ever, people have to be so much more careful about sharing information over the internet. There are too many who would take advantage or have ulterior motives.
Several years ago, I began receiving calls from good friends saying that they had received e-mails purportedly from me saying that I was stranded in a foreign country, had been robbed and needed money for air fair to return to the U.S. What made this even more alarming was at that time, my hubby was conducting oil and gas accounting seminars in other countries and we were traveling extensively.
Some jerk had gained access to not only my internet address but also my internet address book and was mailing those contacts for money! I was utterly floored, shocked and frightened.
What you wrote about your correspondence with a former personal assistant that continued because you knew her personally reminded me of a situation that grew out of my membership in a different interest group. That group site allowed for personal, private messages to be exchanged on the site. One out-of-state member wrote me saying that she would be visiting in my state and wondered if we might meet in the nearby city where she'd be staying. For some reason, I just felt uncomfortable agreeing to this and declined the invitation.
Even in a cyber group that brings individuals together because of a shared interest or health concern, I think it pays to be cautious about revealing personal contact or other sensitive information because there may be lurkers who profess one thing but really have ulterior motives. I don't mean to be a doomsayer but I no longer am as naive as I once was either.
I appreciate the H.U. forums because I trust those who share their ways of managing their specific health challenges. The information gained through members and their links for additional information made a wonderful difference in overcoming my initial fear at my chronic kidney diagnosis (CKD) and posts continue to help me feel "connected while alone together". Best to you and all.
One of my freinds lives in Essex we are part of a breavement style contact group called remember me run by Yours magazine. Its for freindship and they send a quarterly style leaflet with varied things in it. There are of course many groups on line if you have facebook often local to your area. There is a national group called Nextdoor for help from people in your own locality , gives details of local businesses, groups, whats going on in the vicinity and local people who can help you or chat , helps you get to know your neighbours too. Maybe your local council has phone freind type lines during the pandemic. These are not dating sites. Take care if looking on line. Bye for now You can always PM me for a chat.
We have NEXTDOOR in our area. Obviously this is run for "free" so that they can sell advertising space on it to make a profit. Because we live in a small town there is very little of interest in it. Very few people. Its good to stay in touch but do be careful.Some of the people who are looking are really odd or trying it on in some way, others are liars.
Yes Wiselady I had a problem on mine with one man I reported him, it took some time to get it sorted but I did. The ladies who came were good but coronavirus has altered many things and made more people available due to no work but the rules prevent them from doing jobs just now. Not all such people are genuine just like some companies as you say.
OH DEAR was this a long time ago when you reported this man? Hope he got into trouble. What did he do?
He did a poor job on my garage floor and left the up and over unable to be locked When contacted he tried to blame me. To save his bacon when I reported him to the site administrater, eventually when he did come back he admitted it was his fault then several weeks later without my knowledge he came back and fixed it. Its a long story to tell in detail. But I would not recommend him to anyone because of his attitude and poor response to customer rights.
ive had a lot of people wanting to come and do handymen jobs for me over the years, most of them have no experience and are useless at it but just after the money, fakes, I then met a builder and maintenance man and he did good jobs, proper jobs and could do far more than all of them put together, we became friends because we had a lot in common, then we dated, then we became a pair and now he lives with me and has done for years
Nice to hear you have company that can do your odd jobs too. Handymen vary as you say I have had good and bad. Just had a job done yesterday and you would not know anyone had been in my house all left so tidy. Same when the boiler was done but these things do cost lots of money they are not really handyman or DIY jobs but still need tidy workmen who do a good job. It cost me £75 for a ceiling light repair but he was good and vacced up after. Have a good day both.
I know a very good full time professional odd job man but he charges £200 a day which is a very fair price when you bear ihn mind he has skills, has to pay for tools, a van, travelling and sick pay and holiday pay . People try to take advantage of him all the time expecting him to do plastering and decorating but at amateurish very cheap prices. Totally not using their brains. If he could plaster and wanted to plaster he would charge plaster prices, about £500 a day, not very cheap prices. If he could replace and service boilers he would call himself a plumber and charge plumbing prices. This guy is always booked up and busy.
My guy doesnt do odd jobs, he is a builder, maintenance man and decorator. He does big jobs. He concentrates on the big jobs and we pay someone to come in and do the easy quick simple jobs. He is usually booked up for at least four months and has firm bookings for next year.
Most odd job men/handymen are old and only doing it for beer money, or get out away from wife for a bit, very few know what they are doing and can only do the very easy bits or make it up as they go along. And the pay is terrible. It wouldnt pay the bills. They claim to be self employed but all cash in hand, very badly paid and very little work and not insured. If people hire them it is because they are very cheap and earn less than minimum wage. But they arent able to do big jobs, decorating etc properly.
Due to the lock down, which of course was unexpected and threw everything out my guy closed down his business for a few months and painted the outside and inside of the house - quite a job as a big detached house - instead. Rather than risk catching the virus off of customers and putting these big building and decorating jobs off till later.
Have a guy coming over soon to do the little bits and pieces its not worth it for him to spend his time on.
I often wonder how these full time workers can manage to do other work for other people everyone needs me time. Some people don't realise what time costs , plus car expenses, ect ect. Lots of older people are willing to help but not necessarily got any particular skills. My grandchildren never realised how much it costs just to paint a room and the hours put in. Even cleaning to do it properly takes time as does things like gardening. Not much time for sun bathing but be careful skin cancer is on the rise they say. Is there anything we can do thats safe
Its good that you think of the other person too. My guy, who is a builder, maintenance man and decorator and always busy gets sick and tired of people ringing him asking him to go and change a light bulb or pull a few weeds out. It doesnt occur to these silly people that he is a skilled person not an odd job man or teenager looking for pocket money. If he did those sort of jobs at the sort of prices they want to pay its not worth his while at all, he would be better off staying at home and doing nothing.
Of course some jobs can be done properly or badly.
When I bought my house I dindt know that much about all this and I hired a local decorator to paint the outside of my house. It s a very big house and took him about a week. But within months the paint was peeling off and it had been a total waste of money. All this guy had done was to put a brush to the walls with some paint on it. It looked good at the time but not for long.
Then my guy says look I can do that for you - properly. He does it properly with scaffolding. He prepares the existing walls and paintwork properly -- this takes weeks before he even starts to paint.But it will last a long time.
A proper builder and decorator drives around in a big expensive van which can house a l ot of his tools. And he has to spend a lot of money on tools and keep replacing them and have a place to keep them. Sometimes we get young guys who are hoping to become builders or just looking to make some money asking if they can borrow my guys tools to go and get paid to do a job! How unfair is that. And you have no guarantee they would bring them back straight away, you might have to keep asking for them or write them off. If they want to set up a business they should expect to invest in tools first,not just earn money but spend money too. They can hire tools at a builders merchants if they do not want to buy them, but they want to avoid spending money and expect my guy to buy all of the tools so they can use them free.
You will probably find he was yet another one chancing his arm to get some money that he is not skilled to earn, not paying tax, not paying for expenses and tools and a proper van and premises, got no customers and has to work very cheap to get anyone, and out of business in a year or less.
He was doing it without receipts ect, but it was not a DIY it was reconcreteing and clearance of the garage, not lots of rubbish but time consumming, and time important as he was using ready made concrete, it was in a four fiqure number for around five hours work. and concrete cost. It was done at the weekend . He does have a job with a building company and lives close by. So now you know the facts . It also saved me Vat on the job. So it cuts both ways wouldn't you say.?
Thanks for explaining that. Sounds like he was maybe stealing stuff from his boss, maybe the concrete stuff? And getting well paid for it. But did he do a good job? Most builders would refuse to work weekends, they have had enough of working monday to friday and need a rest. Yes I imagine he lived close by by , not worth it for him to travel further. Vat comes to quite a bit. But did you get other quotes before you accepted his?
We have a neighbour here, an old lady who wanted her front garden done. It is just a small square but she wanted it all ripped up, the lawn removed, new fences etc so it was quite a bit of work. She expected her sons to travel a very long way to come and do it for her - all for free - amazingly they did not bother. Then she called in various peopole, some couldnt be bothered saying it was too small a job. But when the people who did it eventually took the job and started it was work for three people for a week.
Some guys say they are vat registered and charge it even though they are not, and then pocket it themselves.
You are more sensible than most. Hope you have a great sunday.
It was not a brilliant job but good enough for me and he was able to do it at my convenience . And he moved an engine for my grandson. Others would not have been pleased with the job I can assure you. On the subject of gardens thats a mind field as people don't realise how much time it takes to do jobs. It cost my freind in the four fiqures for a small area to be re paved, mine cost four figures but the guys who did the clearing worked none stop for two days, averaged around £30 an hour labour if you took the paving cost off but thats over five years ago. latest quotes for garden redesign is between £3000 to £7000 depending on what you want doing for around a 30ft garden x 10ft. We do go for local quotes. The costs of being an home owner. Have a good day.
YES that sounds about right. They must be upset when they meet you, someone who is on the ball and sharp and knows their stuff. I had my garden redesigned and re done from scratch but it was about 20 years ago, I designed it myself and had the lawn and flower beds removed and changed and all sorts, but its a big garden so it came to a lot more than £7000. The main thing to me was less maintenance hence no grass, but still a lot of places for the dogs to run around without weeds or them getting muddy etc. Trouble is so many people now say they are gardeners when they know nothing at all about flowers, never been to college, know nothing, just manual labourers. Some would get a HUGE shock if they found out how much a proper gardener charged to do some tending to their garden - because they spent years in college full time, and they dont do landscaping, they call in people to do the heavy stuff usually. One for fences, one lawns and so on. Are you having anything else done or are you happywith the rest as it is now?
Katie, your bereavement group sounds much like a local kidney support group I finally located by calling a Freesinus Dialysis Center. Our group meets quarterly in person at one of our hospitals and is partially funded by a the National Kidney Foundation. I only attended once before the Covid-19 lockdown but it was so instructive and two of the attendees were years long kidney transplant survivors and a third was about to begin in home dialysis. I also receive a qtrly newsletter which is helpful.
I've long believed that good neighbors are like good fences and that it takes time to build friendships beyond being "neighborly". When an elderly neighbor first moved across the street, she came on too strong for me, wanting to visit back and forth, have coffees and go out to lunch. I told her that while I enjoyed being with others socially, I was also a very private person who needed a great deal of alone time. Three or more years later, when she pressured me to join our local Nextdoor group, I was reluctant for some time to do so. I did join and for the most part have found our group helpful with giving referrals and recommendations for professional or yard and maintenance services. As a pet lover, in our small city of over 200,000, it does trouble me that there are so many posts for lost and found pets. For the most part, I think our group is respectful in sharing information and opinions. I appreciate that occasional posts are removed if they verge on being contentious.
I know what you mean about neighbours being too "neighbourly". I came across a lot of women like that. They assumed that as I was at home (actually working in my office, but they could not see that is different) they could just turn up whenever they were bored or lonely or wanting a listening ear - and I would drop everything and sit there for as long as they want. As if I was some sort of drop in centre or the local Samaritans. But when I socialise with friends it is two way, they invite me to theirs, we make arrangements and it is a time and day that suits me as well as them, and we go out and do things together, being there for them when they are bored or wanting to go on about something is not socialising. If I suggested they email me and arrange a day and time first or check its convenient for later that day and that we could take turns to visit each other and go out and do stuff together they didnt like it - they only wanted me when they were bored or were upset about something and could just turn up. Not for me.
My clients cannot come around, and they have to make an appointment to speak to me on the phone+ - and pay for it before we speak. I have to make sure there is no noise, no disturbance, no interuptions when working. If the doorbell goes I have to ignore it when speaking to a client. But if its a parcel delivery firm they all know me now and know to leave whatever in the porch and not ring the bell. If I am not working I am busy with other stuff, i.e. in the bath or eating a meal, where its not nice to be disturbed. It took me a long time to allow my guy to move in with me because privacy and me time is very important to me and if he did not respect it and thought he could just barge into my space whenever it suited him I would not have let him.
Hello hope you are enjoying your weekend, my freind up the road is on Kidney Dialysis and a widow from my group. I know a few of my very close neighbours but we don't go to each others homes my nextdoor neighbour moved out about three years ago we used to be close and have keys to each others homes to house sit when necessary. I miss my groups right now , no days out, holidays or theatre trips, no meetings for Arthritis , Nhs groups, representing over 50s in my city, coffee mornings , socials with my bereavement group like a good sing song, bingo, comedy, films, chats with other charities,lunch out. Home is not quite the same as a full social life is it? Maybe some things might be better by next spring.
You can join meet up groups online if you have time to socialise and cannot get to groups and meets.
My Arthritis Action group is like that now ,we meet on Zoom.I am fearful that lack of exercise is worsening my condition as I can't even get Physio. Even exercise is being done on line now. Lack of social stimulas is bad for all young or old. Its well established that people without stimulas just give up and don't bother anymore. I don't want to live on line so to speak or be ripped off by faceless people on the phone with goods that are not as discribed. The things I cannot do in my home need a reliable workman /woman . I want to see what I am purchasing not just be dumped on my step , paid for up front and no replacement or refunds for return but it looks like thats how the future will be if you happen to have a chronic illness , disability or are growing old i.e over 70. It has some advantages online and home delivery but one thing it definately does is takes away your freedom of choice. Sorry if I am going on a bit , but we are not all stay at home type and we cant have a holiday on line only daydream , many find it difficult to work from home like you say due to interuptions , including young children wanting attention as nursery is closed or school. Better let you get on with your work then Have a good day.
You have raised some interesting points.
Re working at home. In my case clients make an appointment to speak to me on the phone on a certain day at a certain time, they pay for this time in advance, so I am obliged to make sure I am available then AND there are no interruptions then. IF the doorbell rings I ignore it, I might turn it off altogether. If a neighbour (they are notorious for ignoring that you work) knocks, I ignore it. The client is more important than them. And they should listen when you tell them not to just turn up. They would not be able to just turn up at my office if it was a few miles away and separate to the house. But its not practical for me to pay an arm and leg for a separate office or travel back and forth to it.
I used to have a secretary who made sure nobody could interrupt me when with a client, but that costs money, you then have to charge clients more and so on and so on. Not that simple.
I also do freelance work as a writer and have had five books published. It is not so important not to be interrupted then. But it makes more sense to make sure you do not get interruptions than tell everyone that it depends on what work you are doing that day.
Anyway sometimes I get a precious few hours to do other stuff like sit down to enjoy a home cooked meal, bake some cakes have a long soak in the bath or dye my hair, and its not convenient then either.
There are lots of work from home jobs where it doesnt matter if you get interrupted or not. But it could mean that you never get any work done because everyone helps themselves to your time. I have staff dotted all over the World who work from home who are in that situation. The weak ones let people walk in and take up their time. Their work never gets done. They lose their job. They have to be more disciplined and assertive about it.
I find shopping online great. Firstly, I am very limited in time. I am not going to take a day off of work unpaid to go around the shops. I would lose far more in lost wages than I was thinking of spending. I dont drive, so I would also have to pay expensive taxiis to take me. And there are no reasonable shops for at least twenty miles. So ive shopped online for many years. Get far more choice, its cheaper, its convenient, its quick. This week have had at least 20 deliveries so far, thats a normal week for me.
I used to run face to face groups, I have run all sorts of groups, some with hundreds of members. Some fall flat because they cannot get enough people others because some are more demanding and selfish than the quiet ones and there is an imbalance.
Physio can be done online. You go to youtube. Loads of things can be done that way, it means doing it when it suits you in your way.
I said years ago the National Health service is wasting a lot of limited money on meeting individuals for physio one by one, it was time consuming and expensive compared to online and many had a real struggle getting there. You can go privately, but did you know that every time the national health service arranges for you to see a consultant for a short chat it costs them £260 plus vat? And very often the short chat achieves very little other than come back in six months.
I have two family members who are in their 70s, one of them has a bad leg so cannot walk easily or quickly. Both of them self isolated and had a great time. They get on well,l they zoomed with us regularly, they never went out at all. They threw themselves into puzzles, crosswords, television, music and pottering in their back garden. They got so used to it that when it was less important to isolate they carried on that way and people worried they had institutionalised themselves.
Its possible to go on holidays now. We have had lots of family come down to see us over past few weeks.
The one thing people are worried about is going out for a meal or a drink, even with the discount many wont do it.
I know what you mean about getting work men but I know from what you told me before you are sharp and dont let them push you around or tell you fairy stories. But that was the same before the lock down.
My advice there is to only go to someone with a proper website and office etc. Not a one man band who only has a mobile number. But there again he will be cheaper, he is working secretly cash in hand and has no expenses etc. If he doesnt have a proper van and thousands of pounds worth of tools (where does he keep them?) he is not really who he says he is.
My guy has just taken on a job to decorate ten houses inside and out for a new client.
He has turned down at least fifty tiny jobs this week, they are not worth it for him, they pay very badly, yet can take up a lot of time. These people should be hiring a handyman not a builder/decorator who works full time.
Meet up has become very popular now with its online meets worldwide and according to one of my clients they are free unless the person who set up and runs that group charges, they often let you join in a few times first. Hope you have a nice day.
Sorry for delay in reply, my daughter did a flying visit while off work. We enjoy a chat and cream cake (yummy) . I do the tea and sandwiches. I find that most things on line take so long even ordering, but like you to go out and shop I need a taxi and not really able to stand in queues. Its just not my style but guess I will have to get used to it. My stars today say take the good bits of the past and move on and start a new life. Definately have to be changes. Keep busy and your guy but stay safe. My sister runs her business from home as well as having a factory& staff to run so appreciate time is money as they say. Nice you have an appointment system and emails allow you to deal with content at a convenient time , which I like . Bye for now.
Hello. I live on my own and even before Covid 19 I was very isolated. I have an acquired brain injury that left me unable to work. Because I have severe cognitive and physical fatigue it is extremely difficult for me to do much on any day. If I do something one day I have to rest the next. I also get sensory overload so I can't be around groups of people or in places with much noise as I can't filter it out and it makes me ill.
Before the lockdown I went to a local Headway (brain injury) group once a week, but of course that was suspended. It's hopefully going to restart soon. That's my only social activity, except for coming on here. Unfortunately, due to the brain injury, I can't keep busy like I would have been able to before. The worst thing is that I can't read books any more or watch TV.
Thank goodness for this site!
😌🌸
Hi there. How are you today? Is it a good or a bad day torday? Was yesterday better? Any plans?
Hi. I am okay today, but my mind has been quite tired. I did manage to put together a weird plug adapter socket combo so I am pleased with that. Tomorrow I should be picking up my new mobile phone. That's going to be fun (!!!) I have a form of amnesia where it's really, really hard for me to learn anything new, so mastering a new phone is going to be a challenge. I still have problems remembering how to use my current mobile and I have had that for three years! I plan to take it to a local mobile phone guy who is going to transfer everything over for me. It will be quite an adventure!
Hope all is well with you.
😌🌸
Marnie, I agree that finding this site has been a great place to share and find support and connection. Hope more of your days are good days and salute you for realizing what you can and cannot do. I also deal with sensory overload which limits the amount of my personal interactions with others. It took me a long time to realize that my fatigue following group exposures required lengthy alone quiet time for me. Is it possible for you to listen to books on tape?
Hi. I can't listen to books on tape because it's my short term memory that's the problem. I have tried listening to short stories etc. on the radio. The difficulty is that I lose track of the story and of who is who. My concentration and attention is appalling, so combined with the short term memory problems I can't follow things. An example would be that if I listen to the weather forecast, I can't concentrate long enough for it to get to my region - I suddenly find the forecast is over and I missed the part I needed to hear. It's still hard to put up with it and it's been four and a half years now. Thanks for your ideas. 🙂🌸
BTW, I have recently managed to get referred to a hearing therapist and she is working to help me reduce my sensory overload problems. I can tell you about that if you think it might be relevant to you.
I was on that site, I quit it because they displayed your full name, if someone didn’t like what you said they could sometimes be Mean, and because they kinda of know what part of the city you live in , You never know these days people are on Edge. It wouldn’t be Hard for them to find out where you live . 😷🙏
I noticed your last sentence above, even our tracer on the mobile these days can give out your address. Supposed to be security incase you loose your phone. Its like some of healthunlocked display your disability for all to see. We are about as safe as a brown paper bag in a storm our private life as become a computer history. But what happens when you can't remember your key number or your password.??or a computer crashes its all so impersonal.Does anyone else find technology difficult rather than being able to ask someone.?
I get where you are coming from. My computer saves my passwords otherwise I would find all that very difficult too.
Think the passwords are encrpted but I find that a doubtful service even though it is simple for us the user.
Do you mean NEXTDOOR. Yes the one thing I really dont like is that you must use your real name. And then everyone knows all of your business and can gossip about you.
One of the women on there had applied to me for a job and been turned down. So when she saw me on there she bad mouthed me. Of course, she was not honest and did not tell people it was because she had applied for a job and not been good enough to get it and wanted to take it out on me.
I've lived alone by choice, lol, for many years and while I really enjoy in-person social interactions with others, I can easily become overly stimulated if those are too frequent.
I've laughed to friends that following short out-of-state visits with my children, it takes me three days to recover from the changes in activity and stimulation with them.
I need private, quiet time alone and find simple diversions like being outdoors, Netflix mysteries, PBS documentaries and mini-series, as well as reading and playing computer games entertaining. Nature and playing in the dirt in my flowerbeds is very restorative for me.
Diagnosed with both pre-diabetes and stage 3 CKD a year ago, for the first time, the word "diet" found a place in my life. I became dedicated to learning more about the healthy effects of appropriate diets on my conditions. As a result, I became enthusiastic about trying new recipes.
It took four requests to get a doc approved referral (for ins. coverage) to a dietitian. He was wonderful is providing me with a combined double diagnosis diet plan which so simplified my menu planning. Now a yr since those diagnoses and changing my diet, my kidney GFR values have improved and my A1c values for diabetes have me back in the normal range.
Always a goal setter, I challenged myself to see if I could self-discipline myself to take 3 walks/week for the year of 2020. I like group exercise but have never been good at exercising on my own. After my beloved dog died, I lost all incentive to walk by myself.
By specifying days (Tues/Thurs/Sat) I felt that would prompt me to honor the challenge. Now about to end the 8th month, I've managed 3 walks/week. Because I didn't set distance or time goals, during severe inclement days, I do use a timer and circle and re-circle paths inside my home and garage.
The year before, I'd set the challenge of seeing if I could go a whole year without purchasing a single wearable item. Not out of necessity but to see if I could muster the discipline it would require. I truly fluttered my feathers at accomplishing that challenge never expecting that during that year I would unintentionally lose 30 pounds for an already slender frame. Luckily, I had a great selection of belts that were used to keep my slacks from falling around my knees! very big grins (vbg) While tests were made, no medical cause was ever found for the nausea which led to the severe weight loss. Taking myself off of Metformin when I realized it was the only thing new and research showed nausea a result for some, did stop that. However, I am still far from my decades long maintained normal weight.
Being a senior with compromised chronic health issues, I self-quarantined in early March. I was fortunate to have a local grocery home deliver and until July 4th, I didn't enter any place of business. With the exception of a much required plumber, no one has been inside my home since March.
I live in one of the virus "hot spot states" where all I know in my area continue going about their daily lives as though Covid-19 doesn't exist. July 4th was the first day finally mandated by our gov and mayor requiring masks for all. With schools soon to re-open and being a college town, while also thinking of the approach of the regular flue season, I shopped for the first time at Walmart for household supplies not offered by my grocery. Luckily they open from 6a-7a one day/week for vulnerable shoppers.
Until March, my front yard shaded table and comfy 4 chairs was a frequent neighbor gathering place. Since my neighbors don't wear masks, I've invited select friends with masks to join me occasionally for homemade treats and visits.
I stay in touch with others by phone and Zoom visits with my children; I participate in a couple of online groups with like minded others but I often feel like a pariah in my own neighborhood and city. It is increasingly more difficult for me to enjoy others whose political beliefs and daily actions are so opposite from mine.
A local news report yesterday revealed that only after a brief school opening, three ele. schools have numerous outbreaks of Covid-19 and that the mayor and school board are "closely tracking the number of outbreaks".
I am so thankful that my daughter, hubby and two grandsons also self-quarantined and that both boys will be attending classes online in CO.
Didn't mean to write a book but hey! after 5 months of not being in touch with my friends at H.U. I got carried away! Best to all and hope each are doing your very best to stay healthy and in the best spirits possible during this most uncertain time.
I love your style, you make decisions and follow them through, you learn things, instead of fretting about bad news you have a battle with it and beat it. Like you I needed to lose weight - I had so many problems with breathlessness, breathing, asthma, energy, fatigue, coughing, no energy etc, it was a real struggle. I read up all I could about healthy eating and specifically with this in mind - found the book of great benefit, HOW NOT TO DIE. And there is so much free knowledge online. I lost two stone in two years. Then stopped and found I still had the health problems same as before. The doctors are not really able to help, their way is to give you things that sometimes help with symptoms rather than understand what the problem is and prevent it. When the lock down started I decided I HAD to improve myself more, I had to stay in, Government orders, so it was a good time to concentrate on losing weight. A scan told me I now have a fatty liver and my doctor said lose weight as though it was all my fault, yet I had already lost two stone and I never had a fatty liver before. I am sure that the constant stream of antibiotics, steroids, proton pump inhibitors etc cause the fatty liver as well as the stomach ulcer. Because I have an underactive thryoid it is hard to lose weight, I can eat very little and still not lose it, but I persist. Have lost a stone since March.
I love the way you say you invite a select group of friends over for this or that. It should be your choice if you want to read a book, watch a film, chat online or have company, people should not force themselves on you. And it should be your choice who is there , not an open house for anyone who fancies it. I often, when I have time, prefer to read a good book rather than do anything else. Knowledge is power and relaxing in a terrific lighthearted book is a great medicine. Your home should be your oasis where you are in charge and your time is the most precious thing you can give anyway, not for others to help themselves to.
I used to live alone and chose to for many years, it was a big thing for me to let my partner move in. But he understands my ways, he knows when I am busy he is not to disturb me and I like me time.
What is CKD - is that chronic kidney disease ? and what can you do ab out it if anything other than dieting?
So many moan about their problems and then do stupid things that make them worse. Its great to find a proactive sensible person here. Its made my day.
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