The Calm Corner update Monday 23rd March 2020

Good morning, fellow meditators,

Those of us who mentioned their practice over the weekend were mostly getting on relatively well.

Now is probably the worst period you'll ever have in meditating, when it's all new to you and you aren't sure what to do when the same thought starts to crop up over and over. Someone pointed out that even 10 minutes can seem an awfully long time to sit with only your thoughts, and mentioned a session in which an unsettling event had come up over and over again.

To reassure: that will happen. If you think about life generally there are topics that echo in our minds over years, and most often they are memories of times of great stress and pain, or of high points. One of the things that meditation can achieve, is the levelling out of our highs and lows, so that we don't cling to the high points and shun the bad. We become more accepting of each of the extremes and exist with them without reacting too heavily to them. Those thoughts won't ever stop. We can't control the ocean, but we can learn to surf the waves.

I promised I'd post a little story about remembering to set aside intrusive thoughts more quickly and not to linger on them, even though they will still come back to you over and over again.

Two monks were travelling silently on foot, across country to their far distant monastery.

At one point they reached a fast flowing river, and found on its bank a woman who was fearful of trying to cross. She asked for help to do so.

Without further ado, one of the monks lifted her onto his back, took her safely across and set her down on the other side.

The two then continued their journey silently until, ten miles on, monk B spoke to monk A.

"Why did you take that woman across the river" he asked scathingly. You know that we have undertaken a vow never to touch females.

"My friend", said monk A. I set that woman down on the other side of the river, but it seems to me that you are still carrying her."

And we do. Our minds will return again and again to any number of things that have upset us, and in meditation will repeat and repeat. Hopefully this little illustration has helped you to see that it is possible to be mindful and when repetitive thoughts come back to put them aside. Just acknowledge the thought, and then set it down, and return to your practice. And every time it comes again, just name it then put it down again.

I found on one meditation retreat that my ex-husband popped up time and time again in my thoughts. I hadn't seen him for 20 years and thought I'd dealt with anything to do with him, long ago! But often we haven't dealt properly with what's deep inside us, and it returns when our minds are quietly meditating. And if we can't make it go away, then we can put it down quickly every time it intrudes. My strategy became to think to myself, "oh hi, you're here again". I've seen you, but you can go now". And I had to do it over and over, because his persistence was annoying!

Hope this has been helpful and I hope you'll all continue on your meditation journey. Make friends with your breath and stay in frequent contact with it.

Happy meditating everyone.

picture courtesy of: publicdomainpictures.net