Just a quick update for those of you who are new to the PWBI community since I started The Calm Corner and who are interested in learning a simple meditation technique to help with the stresses of the current situation. It's a bit of a lengthy post, but does explain the process to get you started. And for anyone who wants personal direction or advice on meditation, please feel free to send me a private message via 'chat'.
I've been a practitioner of Mindfulness meditation for some years as part of my Buddhist practice, but Mindfulness is for absolutely everyone, and is not exclusive to any faith and doesn't have to have any connection with any faith.
Meditation is a wonderful help when we are anxious. Learning to train your mind to stay more in the present moment can stop it from running on and doing its own thing. And minds will do that, quite happily, without any help from us. They are like chattering monkeys. They will plan, plot, imagine outcomes, and run ahead of us to places we really never wanted to go. We end up thinking of all sorts of unpleasant outcomes which make us worry, but then don’t happen after all. Or conversely convince us we have something really good coming to us, so that we end up disappointed when it doesn’t happen. When we can stay more in the present we have less to worry about and can deal more calmly with the real problems that crop up in life, only as they happen.
So my aim is to help you to learn this really simple technique.
You may have seen pictures of people looking like pretzels, sitting on the floor in unattainable (for most people), on tiny cushions and wearing special clothing to meditate, and possibly imagine it’s all too much trouble and not for you.
If you want to take that route, it's fine, but the truth is, in essence it's simple and needs no equipment whatsoever. Anyone can do it and it will be of benefit to your wellbeing and peace of mind.
All you need is a quiet spot, with a chair in which you can, for preference, sit comfortably upright, but if you can’t manage that, you can even do it in a reclining position.
And what we do is to observe our breathing. There are two ways of doing that. You can either feel the breath as it enters and exits your nose, or for some people it’s easier to feel your chest rising and falling with each breath.
Think of yourself as a ticket collector at a barrier in a railway station. Carefully checking tickets before letting the travellers through the barrier in either direction. You need to be vigilant or fare dodgers will slip through unnoticed.
Just breathe as you always do. Don’t force a rhythm or a length of breath. Just let your body do its breathing as it wants, but observe how it does that, closely. It’s surprising how many differences you'll find between one breath and another, and how there are sometimes little spaces in breathing before the next breath in or out.
Sounds boring? Yes you could say that, but in a way that’s the whole point. It clarifies your mind. If it helps you can count your breaths, when you first begin to learn to meditate, from one to ten, and then start over again.
And aim to begin with about 10 minutes of practice at a time, morning and evening if you can, increasing the time gradually. Try to eventually achieve 15 minutes twice a day, but you'll even improve your peace of mind if you can do just 15 minutes daily.
Do you have to try and empty your mind? No, not at all. That’s actually just about impossible. You are not failing, or doing it wrong if you find your mind has wandered off again like a naughty puppy. It’ll do that over and over. Just bring yourself back to that next breath whenever you find your mind's been off on one of its adventures. Just acknowledge that you are back in the present moment and start over.
If you’d like to try, find any time today that will work for you. But especially good is first thing in the morning, or and/or during the evening. Just try and see how you get on. And keep on trying. Feeling restlessness, boredom, fighting tiredness - all are valid feelings and you shouldn't feel in any way that you are failing. It's all meditation.
The most satisfying and successful meditation happens when we start in the right frame of mind. You can assist yourself in finding that, by adding in two other short meditations, one on Loving-kindness, and the other on Forgiveness. I always start my own meditation sessions with some Loving Kindness, and, after I've done a Mindfulness sitting, I close with a Forgiveness meditation. Whether you choose to do those is entirely up to you. Think of them as optional add-ons.
LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION
The aim of this is to radiate loving-kindness out into the world, starting with yourself. If you aren't kind to yourself, you can't hope to spread kindness to others.
So begin this way:
May I be filled with Loving-Kindness
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I take care of myself happily.
Now use the same verse to radiate this kindness out to others.
Start with your loved ones, even those who are no longer among us, then move on to friends, each time using the same verse.
After that try sending love and kindness to someone you don't like, or have had conflict with. Or a creature you have an issue with... rats? spiders?
Then wish the same to others across the world.
Then the creatures of the air,
Those who live on the earth, under it and in waterways.
Wish everyone in the world, in all directions, loving-kindness, to the north, south, east and west.
Finally, send loving kindness to all sentient beings throughout the world in every direction. Done regularly this meditation can soften your heart even towards your enemies. You only have to open yourself up to trying. You can name the people to whom you are sending the loving-kindness, as you go.
FORGIVENESS MEDITATION
First, the forgiveness of others: Think to yourself, "May those whom I have hurt today, knowingly or unknowingly, forgive me".
"MAY I BE FORGIVEN".
Next forgiving yourself: Think to yourself, "In all the ways I have hurt myself today, I ask forgiveness and extend it to myself".
"MAY I FORGIVE MYSELF"
Lastly forgiving others: "To those who have harmed or hurt me today, knowingly or unknowingly, I offer my forgiveness".
"TO THE EXTENT THAT I CAN AT THIS TIME, I EXTEND TO YOU MY FORGIVENESS"
(It goes without saying that dreadful harms may never be fully forgiven, but being willing to try to forgive to some extent is for your own benefit rather than the person who has harmed you). And over long periods of time, it's quite surprising how much you can enhance your own wellbeing, by trying to forgive as much as you can, little by little.
So, that's really all there is to it. It's not an easy thing to undertake, but it's a worthwhile thing and regular practice can help so much with the crises we all encounter in life, that can set our minds racing. Learning to stay as balanced as you can when in a tight spot is always beneficial and can help to deflect all sorts of unpleasant thoughts by keeping you in the current moment, which is really the only moment that's really real. If we think about the past, we are only remembering, and if we allow our minds to rush on ahead of us, we are only imagining.
I'm happy to help anyone who comes here to seek some calm and wants to try meditation. You can ask a question here, or share your thoughts on meditation, or, please do feel free to contact me by personal message.
Happy meditating.
UPDATED, Wednesday 22nd April 2020
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69 Replies
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Please do join in Jerry, and let us all know how you get on.
I did a mindfulness for chronic pain course several years ago, and it was life changing for me. I more use mindfulness in all areas of my life not just for pain, and love the fact that even just taking a minute or two to focus on your breathing, can help you focus and concentrate on whatever issue you are dealing with xxx
Thanks so much for sharing that with us Hazel-Angelstar. It's true that Mindfulness helps in every aspect of life if you'll let it. I'm so glad you've had some benefit from it.
I started to explore mindfulness before I got into meditation, and was amazed and delighted at how it helped with chronic pain! Now I meditate every day at least once but often twice. If I feel I'm having one of those bad days, I'll spend half an hour on it and come back like a new woman, almost like I've had a proper nap!
Very interesting and would urge everyone to do it. Many are at home now and bored so this is the ideal time. Mindfulness is great, so is tai chi, so is meditation and I also use a brain machine to help me to relax or get a boost of mental energy and so on.
Lol, not thick at all. All it involves, for now anyway, is to set yourself a few minutes aside, say 10, and follow the directions given at the start of this thread, The Calm Corner. And then just post a little message here in the same thread, letting us know how you got on with it.
If this proves to be popular and people are getting something from using the technique, we might get more ambitious and set aside a time when we can maybe all be meditating together, and then have a catch up session afterwards on how it went.
Hey! Great post. I started doing meditation a year ago, after hearing so much about it throughout the years and the benefits it may bring. The insight meditation app has helped me a lot with sticking to it. I try to meditate for a bit in the morning and at night. The latter is especially helpful since I can literally feel my body and my mind trying to wind down after all the stress of the day. And even during the day, I find that I’m much better equipped to deal with different thoughts that may arise by catching them and bringing my attention back to the present.
Thanks for your feedback Kainan_li. And it's true that you can practice any time, and anywhere. It's often beneficial to do for a few minutes instead of getting frustrated when you are in a long queue or waiting for a bus to come. Hmmm..... It could be quite handy in the supermarket queues that are prone to happen at the moment!
Yeah. Whatever you’re doing wherever you are. Even something as simple as walking. Don’t want to leave the ego unchecked. Then the thoughts run wild, and the monkey mind comes alive. Been down that road too many times lol 😂
I will be happy to join the calm corner.😀👍 Great idea!😀👍👍
Hi Jerry, thanks so much for being the first responder! Did you find your mind wandered off much? I'm able to do some quite long sessions now, but on some occasions I find my mind's been off on one of its journeys for ages, before I catch it and bring it back!
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Me too! I've been taught to think of my errant mind as a bit like a puppy who needs training. So you don't get mad at it for wandering off on its own thing, you just bring it back gently by refocusing on breathing.
Would love to have you onboard Activity2004! Do please let me know how your first session goes. I'll add a catch up to the thread tomorrow morning.
Hope you find it enjoyable and calming but don't worry if it doesn't seem easy. Just do it! It takes a while to settle into it. Getting a routine going with it is the best thing.
I'm not 100% sure that I've correctly understood your question, so please bear with me and let me know if I've misunderstood, and I'll try to understand better! I think you are asking if there is anything in particular to think about whilst meditating. The major thing is just to breathe in the way you normally do and to mentally watch your breath.
As it seems as if you are brand new to meditating, I'd suggest counting your breaths for a while. Breathe in, and then mentally say 1 to yourself as you breathe out. Take another breath, and say 2 to yourself as you breathe out and so on until you reach 10. Then just start over from 1. Try to set a 10 minute timer if you can, so that you aren't constantly wondering how long you've been meditating for.
The idea of watching the breath is to focus on something that will allow your mind to stay in the current moment more often. Normally our minds are all over the place, doing our thinking for us and don't give us a moment's peace. Just because you are meditating doesn't mean it will stop. It will probably wander off without your even noticing, for a while. But when you do, just come back into the present moment again, and don't feel that you are failing. This is quite normal. Doesn't matter if it's one , ten or a hundred times, just remember to start noticing your breath again.
To meditate well there's no need for music or candles or any of the folderols that you sometimes see mentioned online. They are just fancy accessories. It's really just you and your breath, reining in your mind.
I hope that helps, but if I've got this totally wrong, (and sadly I am, oh so often wrong about things), get back to me and I'll to give you a better answer.
Did a great first try with the meditation!😀👍 I felt relaxed more than yesterday.
Well done Zoonie! Super job!
Hi Activity2004, I’m delighted you felt an instant benefit, and thanks so much for the feedback 👏💐😊
Good morning fellow meditators,
I was delighted to read that just a few minutes of quiet meditation seems to have helped so many of you already.
Is there anyone who had any difficulty in focusing for ten minutes? It can happen, especially if we are feeling stressed or worried, or not very well, for example. Just try again and eventually you will have a session that you feel went really well. Don't feel that you have failed, if you are very restless. Believe it or not it is still meditation, even if you wriggle and writhe and can't quiet your mind for the whole meditation period, because you are recognising all the thoughts that come to you whenever your mind interrupts your breath observance.
Next comes what could be felt to be the quite boring bit.
It's consolidating your practice.
So your next step is to find yourself a regular spot in your day, every day, and hopefully twice a day, to commit to further periods of ten minutes of meditation.
It's not possible to speed up the process, because meditation is all about slowing down. And like dieting, or extra exercise, it's oh so easy to feel that you can put it off until tomorrow. And sometimes we do all have to do that, for various reasons, but get right back to it as soon as you can.
But your next task is commitment.
So for the best result, just doggedly do it, whether you feel like it or not and just acknowledge to yourself that you are feeling hot, or cold, or bored, or restless; whatever it is. Keep the breath observance going as many times as you can in the ten minutes.
If you are able, by all means stretch yourself to twelve or fifteen minutes, but don't rush it. Always keep things so that you give yourself the best opportunity to practice regularly.
I'd like this to be the pattern for you for the next seven days if you can commit to it.
So not much for me to be writing about, except that I'll check in regularly to offer encouragement and to see if anyone has any questions or difficulties, and by all means you can privately message me with your queries, if you prefer.
If you like it can be helpful to keep a running diary of how your meditations went: those that were peaceful, those where you felt you were struggling, what thoughts you had and how well you managed with the breathing. But it's not essential to do that.
So good luck to you all on the next road on your Mindfulness meditation journey, and keep me posted with how it's going, even if you don't have questions.
Such a great link HeronNS. I'm so delighted with all the links that are coming forward to help us to alleviate the stresses and boredom of being isolated. Thanks so much for sharing!
Very interesting 'Thread' you have started here.... Meditation. There are a, considerable number, of different 'sorts'. The latest, if you will excuse this term, 'Fad', seems to be Mindfulness. Is this not simply 'Caring For Your Fellow Man' and 'Being Aware Of Others'- or have I mis-read this?
Does not, the Beautiful, Crystal Meditation already infer this anyway? The same with 'Zenist', 'Taoist' or 'Buddest'.
Another, very interesting, Meditation is 'Chakra'- which basically refers to differing 'Energy Fields/ Centres' around the body. Meditation is often facilitated by thinking of a Specific Colour, that relates, to a given area. Adding a lovely 'Rose Crystal', into the room, is a perfect touch. (Any pink, or pink/ yellow, crystal is ideal in actual fact)
If you are reading this thinking "Crystals? Energy Fields? Chakras? What the Heck...." Don't worry, the important part- other than wanting to 'do' this- is the Calm, Steady Breathing. Find somewhere quiet, NOT the room overlooking the M25!, and just relax. Breath IN, to the count of three, Hold for one, then Breath OUT to the count of four. (You can adjust this rhythm, to suit yourself.) Allow your Mind, to empty, and just 'Float'..... If you find that Half An Hour has 'just passed' then Good.
A Zenist idea, is to, 'Concentrate On the Sound Of One Hand Clapping', though personally, I've always thought this a 'Bit Strange'. Some people listen to, the sound of Clocks, others Music- I find Pan Pipes Very relaxing. (I have a CD of Carpenters music, performed on Pan Pipes.) Others find 'perfect peace' whist performing Tia Chi, though this IS difficult to learn- take My Word, for that! (If anyone wants, to know, the Principles of this- please PM me)
So basically, and to re-cap, there is know 'wrong' way, to Meditate so long as you Relax, and Breathe. The main 'thing' is to Want to 'do' it- to Set Aside, some Time. Not necessarily a 'Lot' of time, especially in the first instance. Just 'Try' it, you might like it...….
Sound words indeed AndrewT! I think one of the most important things is to dispel all that bunkum that has attached itself to meditation, largely for commercial reasons, and to pick one method and stick with it. As a long time meditator, I actually have investigated several methods, but as a Theravadin Buddhist, Mindfulness works for me just fine. There's an awful lot more to Zen Buddhism than the sound of one hand clapping, but that's for another time and another place, as faith isn't under the umbrella of HealthUnlocked topics. Good to hear from you. Stay safe and well.
Just to add a Little Humour.... Did you hear about the Tibetan Monk, who went to the Dentist. Apparently he said that he 'didn't require any anaesthetic' because...wait for this....he was going to 'Transend Dental Medication'!
I am aware that Zen Buddhism, Does involve more than 'One Hand Clapping' and , I didn't mean to Be-little it. I'm sorry if it sounded that way. You, and I, clearly know much more about Meditation than the average person- you especially. I just didn't want, to get, too 'bogged down' in detail. Before long we will have Four Pages on Jung Psychology.....
There once was a monastery that was very strict. Following a vow of silence, no one was allowed to speak at all. But there was one exception to this rule. Every ten years, the monks were permitted to speak just two words. After spending his first ten years at the monastery, one monk went to the head monk. "It has been ten years," said the head monk. "What are the two words you would like to speak?"
"Bed... hard..." said the monk.
"I see," replied the head monk.
Ten years later, the monk returned to the head monk's office. "It has been ten more years," said the head monk. "What are the two words you would like to speak?"
"Food... stinks..." said the monk.
"I see," replied the head monk.
Yet another ten years passed and the monk once again met with the head monk who asked, "What are your two words now, after these ten years?"
"I... quit!" said the monk.
"Well, I can see why," replied the head monk. "All you ever do is complain."
I have been a Buddhist for 40 years. I am very interested in your idea of doing Mindfulness together. Mindfulness has a potential dark side. This is because human being have a vast amount of possible different experiences. Not all experiences when remembered are easy to handle mindfully.
Worth looking at Chithurst Buddhist Monastery link
I agree that in some cases the effect of meditation can have darker moments as it dredges up underlying issues we think we’ve dealt with adequately, but haven’t, entirely. Not the fault of practising but the issues. And in a few cases if they haven’t been dealt with it’s maybe better to leave them buried or revisit them with the help of a therapist and not meditation. But there’s very little to no risk at the level we’ll be using on this forum. I’ve experienced the arising of a few of my own issues during retreats when meditating, but never otherwise.
Thanks for the link. I do know Chithurst and have visited a few times over the years but thanks so much for the link.
I'd be delighted to help you with your meditation. You can follow me by finding my profile page, Callendersgal and clicking the Follow button to the top right, next to the 'Write' button.
But in fact I have changed up the way I post updates, because a few people weren't getting their alerts to check on the original post (this one), so you could just check in each day for a new update post which is distinguished from this one by having the day's date alongside The Calm Corner heading. You are very welcome to join in and I hope it will help you to develop a calmer attitude with perhaps a little less stress and worry.
I'll look forward to hearing how you get on. Take care and happy meditating!
Glad to hear you did a little meditation and that it helped your headache. Sometimes just sitting with your thoughts can be quite helpful and relaxing. Nice to have your feedback. Take care and be happy!
Hello Callendersgal, thank you for your post,meditation is something that I have tried several times but never found myself been able to slow my mind down so I will take your tips and try it again in the Hope of getting somewhere with it. Will let you know how I got on.
Please do try again. Even a few minutes a day can bring some beneficial change to your life. And I'd love to hear how you get on. It's great getting some feedback.
One tip I'd give is not to think you'll ever fail with meditation. Just as long as you sit and do it, that's meditation. It's just learning to be a bit more focused about your thoughts and not letting them run away with you.
Take care and I'll look forward to your feedback, no matter what that is. Stay well and stay safe and happy meditating!
I'm sorry, I have only read about half of the posts made so far because this is an enormous thread... but I wanted to post and say "Hi, I'm here". I was so surprised that there wasn't a whole board for meditation here on HealthUnlocked, but I'm delighted to find this thread, anyway!
I've been meditating and using mindfulness for several years now. I've dabbled in MBSR - mindfulness based stress reduction - too. I have chronic pain and find these techniques so effective that I have begun what will be a long process of reducing some of my 3 different every day painkillers. That's the Holy Grail for me - better pain management.
But whether or not that is successful, the meditation practice I do now is second only to getting a good night's sleep for keeping my mental health in reasonable shape, and reducing anxiety.
I also study the Stoics and try to live my life along Stoic principles, like: control what you can control, and don't worry about the rest! That was put very crudely, of course, but there is a lot of merit in the old AA Serenity prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". But that's slightly off-topic. It's just another way of supporting good mental health for me.
Very well, thank you kindly for asking. But since we're well into the early hours, I'm heading for bed and a good book before I sleep. At the moment that is "Bring Up the Bodies" by Hilary Mantel. I like a bit of historical fiction. It's good to escape to another time, even if 1536 would probably have been pretty unpleasant for someone of my social class, LOL! Have a good evening!
Thank you! You, too and enjoy your book. I will be here tomorrow. Good night!😀👍
Stay safe and healthy!😀👍
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And just to make a postscript that - while I'm still finding my way around here - it looks like there *is* a community section on meditation! It's "mindfulness" that brings up no search results. So oops! I was wrong!
That is beautiful. Thanks for helping me/us to understand.
I seem to do a lot of running and cycling. One of the things I like during those activities is when my mind goes blank, no thoughts or concerns, just enjoying and being.
I sometimes go for miles without even thinking about what I am doing. Trancelike?
For me that is the best.
Hi daveh121,
I'm glad if I've been of even a small help with your meditation practice. I think one of the very best things we can do for ourselves is to learn to 'simply be'. And that's probably akin to the 'trancelike' state you sometimes find yourself experiencing.
It's really relaxing to sit with your thoughts and just watch them come and go without involving yourself in them. It's a little bit like watching a movie, but not quite that, because you aren't even enjoying or hating your thoughts as you would with a film.
Eventually, and only if you are lucky, you may, through meditation, achieve a state which Buddhists call 'bliss'. Your body seems to almost disappear and a wonderful, peaceful calm descends for a little while and while it's with you, you feel as if you could just sit there forever, never moving. It's that good! Of course it passes, and that's probably a good thing too. We don't want to withdraw from the world we're living in; just to learn to accept it more comfortably.
I'm so happy if you are continuing with your meditation. Don't underestimate its power to eventually make you a much calmer individual. Take care and enjoy whatever you are doing today. 🙏
Absolutely no harm in trying it whilst stationary, but it’s a really rare event so I’d say enjoy that feeling that you get when cycling or running because your mind is fairly free during exercise and you are experiencing something akin to a ‘bliss’ and it sounds OK to me! 😀
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But since we're well into the early hours, I'm heading for bed and a good book before I sleep. At the moment that is "Bring Up the Bodies" by Hilary Mantel. I like a bit of historical fiction. It's good to escape to another time, even if 1536 would probably have been pretty unpleasant for someone of my social class, LOL! Have a good evening! 
The Calm Corner Update Sunday 22nd March 2020