Am I just blue or depressed?

[Chocolatebuttons]

I had my baby five weeks ago by c section and have been feeling really sad and out of it ever since. The c section was unexpected and I cried probably solidly for ten days after he was born and thought it was just baby blues. However, I can't seem to feel happy. I've read possible symptoms of PND and am worried I have it. I think my baby is sweet but I don't have that burning love for him. I feel nauseous but can't eat, tired but can't sleep, I am pretty surely baby wouldn't miss me if I was gone and most of all I feel like a horrible person for not loving being a mother, something I fought tooth and nail for as underwent IVF.

I'm a really happy and sunny person normally but I just can't pull myself out of this hole. I don't want to feel this way and feel that if I do have PND that I'm somehow a failure.

Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way?! I feel so lonely right now because everyone I know who's got kids is loving it and I just want life to go back to the way it was... I hate having these thoughts so much... Please help if you can. Thanks xx

[Tralala]

Let me assure you that you are not alone in feeling this way! It's so very common but people somehow seem ashamed to talk about it ( so makes you feel worse). It's completely normal. It takes a while to get to know your baby and for them to know you.It sounds like it might be worth you speaking to your Health visitor /GP as they should be able to offer you support.You should be getting screened automatically for PND anyway at 6-8 weeks so that would be a good time to let them know how you are feeling. They deal with this kind of thing every day. Please be kind to yourself and try to rest & eat as best you can. Try not to focus on your thoughts too much, just let them come & go. I'm sure you're doing a splendid job of looking after your little munchkin- there's no such thing as the perfect mother, you just need to be a good enough mum. Take care xx

[Chocolatebuttons]

Thank you so much. It has helped so much to be honest with myself and family and friends and I feel so much better. The past three days have been so much better and I've seen my HV and GP and am started a baby massage course which should help. Admitting I needed help was the key and so fingers crossed I can get back to normal soon. I still find the mornings difficult but come 11am I feel good so just got to try and work out how to relax in the morning!!