After just over two years of suffering this dratted condition, things seem to have shifted in my GP's attitude. I have always felt very supported by her, feeling that my views and comments were heard and considered. I felt as though she knew I could be trusted to manage the drops in pred doseage - with her input and advice of course. Not to rush things, but to always consider when the next drop might be worth trying.
Although there have been some tough episodes and setbacks, I have always maintained a pretty up-beat attitude towards my condition. Only my closest friends and family are aware I have it, and no-one else would be able to tell. Even on a bad day, if I'm stiff, I just blame a hard session at the gym (even if such a thing no longer exists for me now!)
Things changed on my last GP visit. We had discussed how the drop from 5mg to 4.5mg had been hard, and the drop from 4.5 to 4mg was proving even harder. I was constantly stiff but could cope most days, I had endured a couple of flares but persevered as I really didn't want to increase pred again. Her response? She said I had been on steroids for two years now and shouldn't really be needing them anymore and should try to get down to 3.5mg ASAP.
Since then I have felt pretty down at heart. Am I not trying hard enough? Should I allow myself to be in more pain than I am now? For now I am maintaining 4mgs as I have a stinking cold and don't want to tempt another flare. I will try to drop to 3.5 once I'm fit again but I am quite scared at the prospect. I don't want to sound over-dramatic, but I feel a little abandoned and adrift at the moment. I am off on holiday next week so am hoping that will perk me up and bring back my positivity.
Anyway, thank you for allowing me to put down my thoughts. Have a lovely weekend all. It may be raining...but at least that rain is getting warmer.