Upset

[Harrywogan]

My friend being diagnosed with P M R on steroids for a year then doc said no not P M R it's Fibroyed myalgia, taken into hospital with high blood pressure and died today and was diagnosed Cancer all with in a few weeks, have doctors put pain down to P M R when thy should have bean look ingfurther sorry for the rant so up set, x

[Nextoneplease]

Oh dear Harrywogan, I’m so sorry for your loss and for everything your friend has been through 🥲

You’ve obviously had a nasty shock and you need to look after yourself. I hope you have someone around who you can talk to - or as you know, we’re always here for support and a listening ear 😊

As to whether the doctors made mistakes, I don’t think we can know that, one way or the other. You’re bound to wonder, but only time will tell what happened.

Take care of yourself and please accept my condolences xx

[Harrywogan in reply to Nextoneplease]

Thanks so much,cant sleep to much on my mind sorry again for rant x

[Nextoneplease in reply to Harrywogan]

Don’t worry if you don’t sleep too well, concentrate on resting ( feet up) and have a cup of tea (or a hot toddy or whatever) and try to relax a little bit….Hope you doze off and get some sleep soon xx

[HeronNS]

That's very sad. So sorry for the loss of your friend. 🌼

[Harrywogan in reply to HeronNS]

Thanks HeronNS don't think they'll be much sleep tonight,and thanks again c

[SheffieldJane]

You must be in total shock. I am so sorry. Take care of yourself in all this. It is important not to let the stress overwhelm you and make you feel worse.🌺🌺

[piglette]

I am so sorry for you and also your friend. It is amazing the number of mis diagnoses. They reckon around 40% of illnesses are misdiagnosed initially. I suppose in a lot of cases the body sorts it out or people keep going back to the doctor.

[Bcol]

Morning HW, so sorry to read of your news, the loss of your friend must be devastating for you. Try to look after yourself and bear in mind that stress may have an adverse effect on your PMR. Hugs and best wishes.

[Seacat30]

Sending long distance hugs. Hope you managed to get a decent sleep. Take care of yourself.

[Elor]

I’m so sorry for your loss Harrywogan. Life can be so cruel. Vent your anger however you can. Rail against the world but cherish the memories of good times with your friend

[Constance13]

Rant away HW - you will always find someone on here who will listen. No-one can really help but hugs/best wishes/a kind word will help in a small way.Take your time to grieve and look after yourself. 💐

[SnazzyD]

What a horrible side-swipe for you for which nothing will have prepared you. Moan all you like here and rest up as much as you can if the nights aren’t helping at the moment.

[Hidden]

So dreadful reading your post about your friend, and happened so very quickly too. To be diagnosed with Polymyalgia, then said it could be Fibromyalgia, to end up cancer, what a shock. Sadly, so many cancer patients have been missed due to Covid.

Sending my sincere condolences to you Harry.

[PMRpro Ambassador]

So sorry - virtual hugs. I still don't know if it is less awful when you have had the warning of a long illness beforehand than when it all happens suddenly.

To answer your question, depending on the sort of cancer, PMR-type symptoms CAN be a sign of cancer and that is why they should do lots of blood tests before deciding it is "just" PMR. But usually there are other signs too. A lot of cancer diagnoses have been missed during Covid - and some are because the patient didn't complain about the signs they had. And there is always the fact it could be coincidence.

[Harrywogan in reply to PMRpro]

Thank for kind words.x

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer]

So sorry to hear that, unfortunately these things happen….even before the dreaded Covid came along.

I know from personal experience with late hubby, sometimes what in hindsight seem the most obvious clues (red flags) are missed…..and attributed to something else. In your friend’s case (and hubby’s) a pre-existing illness (or not) is blamed for everything until the last moment, when it’s too late to treat. 🌸

You cannot do anything for your friend except remember better times, but you can look after yourself, so please ensure you do.

[Harrywogan in reply to DorsetLady]

Dorsetlady.thanks for kind words x

[Kendrew]

Dear Harrywogan,

Like all the other messages you have already received here, I also am so sorry for your loss.

Situations like this are never easy to process and they can make us feel extremely angry and bitter at the unfairness of it all, particularly when we don't fully understand the situation.

I hope that at some point in the future, you're able to reconcile those feelings with some answers & clarity around your concerns about the health care your friend received..... you may never know exactly what, if anything, could have been executed differently though.

Unfortunately, the symptoms of PMR and the many side effects of steroids often overlap with symptoms of many other health conditions too...this can therefore make it a long and challenging process for any medical professional to untangle.

In the meantime, try and seek some solace from the happy memories you must have of times spent with your friend. This will be much more comforting than dwelling on something you unfortunately cannot change and will help you find some peace at a time when you're suffering so much anguish and pain.

Sending you love. You'll be in my thoughts.

[Harrywogan in reply to Kendrew]

Kendrew thanks for your kind words,was hard to get out of bed this morning. Xx

[LemonZest11]

Oh what horrible news Harrywogan, I can understand your anger and your shock. To lose a dear friend is like losing family, a part of you goes with them and I know the grief can be unbearable. I hope, once the anger subsides, you are able to feel some comfort from your shared times together, secret conversations you might have shared. I hope you might even be able to smile at the memory of some fun times together. That’s a bit much to think about at the moment, I know. Take care, I’m thinking of you.

[Harrywogan in reply to LemonZest11]

Thanks for kind words xx

[Sophiestree]

Wow. That's a lot to take in. I'm so sorry. And totally understand your reaction. The same has just happened to my friend's husband who has rather bad MS so everything has been put down to that, when it seems he has advanced prostate cancer on top.

Like your friend I guess the medics just put it down to the original disease.

My friend is also very angry and wants to complain.

I get it, but it is so hard to know and these things can often just make you feel worse.

Take care of you... you need a virtual hug.

[Harrywogan in reply to Sophiestree]

Sophie thanks for the hug just as well we don't know what's round the corner x take care

[Rottsuzi]

So sorry for the loss of your friend ❤️

[Harrywogan in reply to Rottsuzi]

R ottsuzi. Thankq I was on the rant x

[Rottsuzi]

Sometimes it good to rant and we all certainly understand how frustrating life can be , take care of yourself x

[Harrywogan in reply to Rottsuzi]

Thank q

[powerwalk]

Just to add my condolences and very best wishes for you. Talk here any time if it helps at all xx

[Viv54]

So sorry to hear your sad news🌹

[Hidden]

I’m sorry. Friends lost always leave a big hole, especially if you wind up asking yourself, could I have had them with me longer. My best.

[CarolF1312]

So sorry for your loss Harry. Sending love and hugs.🤗

[Harrywogan in reply to CarolF1312]

Thanks for the hugs Carol x

[Pixix]

Sending a hug, sorry for your loss, S x

[Harrywogan in reply to Pixix]

Thanks will except all the hugs x

[HappyDiamonds]

So very sorry to read this, true friends are precious and its very sad to lose one especially under these circumstances. Sending best wishes to you in the hope that you will take care and be kind to yourself through your grief.

[Harrywogan]

Thankq for kind words x

[Plains]

So so sorry to hear about your friend. I too had a doctor that was pushing off my symptoms for something else. Luckily I found another doctor! Please take care of yourself as stress only makes things worst. Perhaps your GP can give you something to take to help you.

[borednow]

Just rant away Harrywogan. I just wish there was something to take away the pain. Please take care of yourself and know all these people on the website are thinking of you.

[softekcom]

So sorry for your loss. Sounds so painful and hard to take - wish you strength and comfort. Both PMR and Fibromyalgia are not easy to diagnose, and then cancer. Heartbreaking. So many symptoms overlap across conditions. May your friend RIP. Wish you courage to bear this loss.

[Harrywogan in reply to softekcom]

Thankq I just feel she was miss diagnosed from the Start, she was a staff nurse x

[PMRCanada]

How awful….what a shock! It may take some time for you to process your friend’s sudden death. Do your best to take care of yourself. This may even include getting support from a professional or bereavement group. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your friend. Keep close good memories of the two of you together…you will always have those.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

[Harrywogan in reply to PMRCanada]

Thankq so nice x

[2013mayo]

I’m so sorry to hear you news, how sad that your friend wasn’t taken seriously at the time.Take care, sending you a big hug.

😍🌈

[Harrywogan in reply to 2013mayo]

Thank you so much for kind words and hugs x

[Blackcat1M]

So sorry to hear about your sad loss,please take care it’s hard I know, but hopefully you will get there sending lots of hugs🙏

[Harrywogan in reply to Blackcat1M]

Thanks for kind words Blackcat x

[Tapestry1057]

So sorry to hear your news. Hopefully you will get some comfort knowing that so many people on this forum are thinking of you. Take care.

[Harrywogan in reply to Tapestry1057]

Thanks for kind words thy mean alot x

[Visby]

So sorry for your loss of your friend x

[Harrywogan in reply to Visby]

Thanks so very much xx

[Lonsdalelass]

So sorry for your loss, such a sad story. Virtual hugs sent your way. 🤗