Old Age: Why is it.... That you suddenly realise... - PMRGCAuk

PMRGCAuk

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Old Age

Devonspinner profile image
Devonspinner

Why is it....

That you suddenly realise that your GP looks like he's 18

He's gone to uni

Read the scientific papers

Is really clever

But doesn't have a clue about what it's like to be late 60s and feeling unwell !!!!!

64 Replies

I expect we were the same. X

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer

Think it’s called life! 🤦🏻‍♀️

As a retired GP, I am embarrassed as to how cocky and naive I must have been as a young doc! With age comes wisdom, and there is no teaching that.

I think Henry Marsh felt the same ( Do No Harm) especially when he recognised some of his earlier patients in a nursing home. But I think too much empathy as a doctor would weigh you down and keep you awake at night. It’s a balance.

I think we are all cocky and naive when we are young.

I used to work in the NHS & every six months we’d get the new intake of Junior Doctors, every time they got younger until one day l said to my Colleague & Friend Sue ‘Is it bring your Child to Work Day?’ 😂

alvertta profile image
alvertta in reply to MrsNails

Hilarious.

Very noble of you to admit that 🙂. Youthful cockiness isn't confined to the medical profession, I can tell you! I have cringed in the past when a newly appointed member of staff has tried to 'educate' the more experienced and knowledgable.

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to 123-go

Ah....the confidence of youth! Sometimes misplaced 🤣😂🤣.

They have to practise on someone but why does it have to be us? Who remembers their childhood family doctor who would visit at home and sit on the bed issuing comforting words and a prescription and on leaving say to Mum, "Call me at any time if you are worried."?

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to 123-go

I do - but he was absolutely appalling at realising when he was out of his depth! And 40 years ago a GP from the "old school" failed to diagnose severe thrush in a small baby (and me), a few years later allowed unpleasant deaths in 2 elderly family members as a result of his masterly inactivity and told my MIL she had a heart condition - when in fact she was so anaemic it wasn't true and with some iron injections lived well for another 10 years or so to 84!

123-go profile image
123-go in reply to PMRpro

Shocking! Luck of the draw, sadly, and applies today.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to 123-go

They still wanted to leave him a legacy in the wills! We had a paddy at the MIL - and she changed it. We said we'd rather it went to the cats' home than him!!!

123-go profile image
123-go in reply to PMRpro

Boomin' good job! Benifitting financially in spite of disastrous decisions seems to be the way of the world.

I guess there are some excellent doctors and then there’s the rest ! But still Im genuinely awed at the amount of knowledge the average GP has to acquire and keep updated on just about every condition. Then has to satisfy the likes of me when I’ve read up on it before I’ve arrived with the latest research. (Omeprezole for example being a case in point where medical opinion has changed. ) I see plenty of gaps though in treatment where if there’s a team involved they don’t seem to talk to each other. Eg my own experience on non coated pred from Rheumy vs GI surgeon prescribing omeprezole which increased stomach pain - they have consulting rooms next door to each other. Or my mother over fed via tube by dieticians with caused a rash - could it be a sort of sugar rash I asked ? Nooo said her consultant. Regret she has a heart virus and could go at any time. ( she stopped all the food for 48 hours, the rash went and she lived for another 18 months, playing bridge weekly )

I once saw a sticker in the rear window of a car that said 'If you want an answer to a question, ask a teenager, they know it all!'

Will tell my son that dealing with a very stroppy daughter!...love it

For some reason can`t add a "like" to some replies....won`t take it...

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to Longtimer

It might be fixed now but I discovered if you refreshed your page after an apparent failed like attempt it would show. Also if you were replying to someone in a thread rather than to the author of a post that wouldn't show until page was refreshed.

Longtimer profile image
Longtimer in reply to HeronNS

Thank you will check that....

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Seekingasolution

I don't expect anyone to know it all at any point - I DO expect them to know how to look it up and have the humility to admit when they don't know.

Good point ... I don’t think humility is a competence that’s tested for in medical appointments is it ? Certainly not for surgeons in my experience. Only being recognised in leadership relatively recently. Ought to be taught at Med school.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Seekingasolution

Probably not. I do excuse surgeons and interventional radiologists from requiring that providing they are good at their specialty - to do some of the things they do really does require a level of non-doubt that is mindboggling!

Agree completely

123-go profile image
123-go in reply to PMRpro

Absolutely

SnazzyD profile image
SnazzyD in reply to PMRpro

“Masterly inactivity” a beautiful description of the type

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply to 123-go

I do - but it was a looong time ago!

123-go profile image
123-go in reply to Constance13

It was for me too:actually not long after the NHS was founded. If we needed to go to the surgery, there was no clear system for who was next to see the doctor. The person who arrived before the newcomer would say, "you're after me". It worked quite well.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to 123-go

Still the same here! Turn up and wait - but that's how it works in the butcher and baker too. You have to remember who comes in after you ...

123-go profile image
123-go in reply to PMRpro

A step back in time!

No candlestick maker?

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to 123-go

No - that's missing. Shop that SELLS candles and woo. We do have a violin shop and a cobbler - and a shoemaker extra. Plus boringly useful things like banks, post office, pharmacy, small supermarket selling almost everything and big supermarket that sells everything ...

123-go profile image
123-go in reply to PMRpro

I'm envious. Our town centre is gradually disappearing including banks and post offices. The small independent, interesting shops are hugely missed.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to 123-go

This is in a village, pop under 4,000 including all the surrounding hamlets and smaller villages. Don't think there are any shops in the other bits now but everyone has a volunteer fire brigade ;) The main village is about 2,500 I think. Most of the town shops are small - but many fashion chains for the tourists. The nearest big stores are innsbruck or Bozen, 70km maybe. That's close enough. Our town is 13,000 I think.

123-go profile image
123-go in reply to PMRpro

Sounds like heaven to me.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to 123-go

Me too. Weather is usually OK too :)

123-go profile image
123-go in reply to PMRpro

🤢

It's probably safe to say that most people would find it astonishing to find a GP conversant with all conditions and diseases, but a responsible GP who sees a patient presenting with a set of symptoms which he/she cannot explain is surely obliged under 'duty of care' to recommend thorough and prompt investigations or at least, as you say, consult with the team. What happened to your mother, or could have happened was horrendous. I'm so pleased she was able to enjoy her life for a time after her consultant's mis-diagnosis.There are people here who suffered miserably long before a correct diagnosis.

Put simply, the rule should be 'if you don't know/aren't sure', find out. In your case regarding Omeprezole, good for you.

The moral of this is to do your own research if you feel you need to and use this forum. 😀

I agree. This forum is fantastic. Great source of information and loads of intelligent comment. Thank you for yours.

I haven't noticed that GPs look young, but for a long time I've been amazed at the apparent youth of many hospital doctors. I spent a weekend in hospital after collapsing during a blood test soon after starting on 60 mg pred. I woke up at about 2.30 the first night and saw a young man and woman approaching me and thought they were my twin grandchildren, then aged 17, and thought how kind of the hospital to let them visit me so late. They were actually two doctors who asked if I'd mind having a lumbar puncture done then as it was the requisite number of hours since I became ill and would give the most reliable results.

123-go profile image
123-go in reply to Marijo1951

Lovely story, Marijo.

Marijo1951 profile image
Marijo1951 in reply to 123-go

Traditionally the sign of aging was supposed to be thinking that policemen look younger, but for me it's definitely doctors. My niece Claire and her husband met at medical school and are both doctors. When they got married aged 26, they looked like a pair of sixth formers.

123-go profile image
123-go in reply to Marijo1951

🙂

I may be in the minority here but what I don't like is automatically being called by my first name by some young doctor who could be my grandson. Im older, as well educated, not senile (yet) and call them Doctor and surname but I would much prefer to be asked how I would like to be addressed and not have it taken for granted. My GP Surgery had Ms HD on my notes and that would come up in lights at the Surgery and I would be called that at Hospital. When I queried it I was told it saved them having to look up everybody's marital status. Until I was widowed I lived with my late husband next door to my GP in the village.I quickly told them I had earned the title Mrs over a good many years and they changed it. 😏

I'm with you on both counts. Proud to be Mrs, can't understand why Ms is less sexist than Mrs, they both identify you as female. I was brought up to call older people Mr or Mrs, or if our parents were friends Auntie and Uncle. I think it's only polite to ask how a person wishes to be addressed.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Dontwannabesick

I thought they were supposed to ask

They don't most of the time, and it irritates me because I prefer a shortened version of my name.

I hate being called Ms,I'm a Mrs.!When I left school I worked in a bank,letters were addressed to P.Smith Esquire,joint account letters were always sent Mr P Smith and Mrs J Smith.

What I would like is to have the nerve to call the doctor by his or her first name.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to HeronNS

I do. Not all obviously - but anyone who calls me by my first name gets the first name treatment. It is pretty unusual here to be fair, Germans are quite formal - though I do almost always use Du as the older half of a conversation ( that is the equivalent of Thou, reserved for family and your juniors and is a whole new world when you get to the stage of using it when speaking German!) - and it is normal usage in this region anyway. Something that really shocked our cousin when I addressed someone as "Du ,,," and asked a question ;)

I'm with you on that. Caused some raised eyebrows at my last (very paternalistic) job when I responded to a senior manager using his christian name.😀

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Dontwannabesick

The only person I ever called by his title when I worked was the Prof!

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to PMRpro

My new doctor, from the UK although apparently he trained in Prague, calls me Mrs and I find that more awkward because I'm not used to it at all. I don't, even after more than half a century, feel like a Mrs! Our cohort as married people and parents were all very casual and didn't make our kids call our friends aunt or uncle; everyone uses first names and I feel like a bit of a fraud when someone calls me Mrs! Now that I think about it the only time I felt Mrs was appropriate title for me was the year I taught school. I should add that I was not brought up that way. Always very proper and never called my parents' friends anything other than by their title.

Especially when they tell you that your pain is “wear and tear “ , and to be expected. I was 50 , but obviously ancient to the GP. 😏

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Greensleeves

Yes - I got that. At 51 and a gym bunny!

Thanks to the pandemic I haven't actually seen anything more than my new doctor's forehead, but I think from his linkedin profile he's quite young 😷 Fine with me. I don't want to have to break in another GP before I shuffle off this mortal coil. I get struck by the passage of time more when I observe my children aging than when I see youthful people at work.

SEEN your doctor? My word I'm impressed. I phoned mine because I cut my leg quite badly on an old tree stump. Being immuno suppressed I thought it sensible to ask for some antibiotics. Response was 'no you can't have antibiotics unless the doctor sees you, and they're not seeing anyone. Go to Urgent Care.'. Errr no thanks.

Yes. During two separate phone visits he has decided he needs to see me. Once was when my test results seemed out of the ordinary and it was too difficult to explain over then phone, plus I wanted to ask him about my knee (which in the end he didn't look at anyway), and the other was a suspicious mole which of course he would need to see. I suppose when we get video call capability even that will go. But I cannot call for an in person visit, it's the doctor who decides if he needs to see a patient during a phone consultation. This is all new since pandemic as until then we ONLY had in person visits! So far seems like a good balance but the wait for a phone consult is getting longer which concerns me. New doctor so his habits are different anyway, and the management of the practice has changed, at least half of the doctors in it having dispersed to other locations so I don't know what is going on. Just happy to have reasonably competent and friendly care from this new doctor and hope he stays around for a while!

Tell me what happened with your injury? I hope you've kept your tetanus vaccination up to date?

Hi, I tripped over an old tree stump and as I fell a short wig sticking out of it gouge my leg.. It didn't half bleed. Anyway I managed to stem the blood after about 10 minutes and I could see that there was nothing left to stitch to. I have some very good dressings left from previous injuries, but I thought that to be sensible I should ask for some antibiotics. Started with 111 and after a 4 hour wait a clinician phoned me back. Said I should go to A&E. At 10:00pm on a bank holiday weekend? Not B likely! So I went the next day in person (yesterday) after queueing outside in the rain for 30 minutes managed to speak to the triage nurse who was working outside. I explained I was shielding and she advised that there was a 3 hour wait inside, so I said, no thanks and came home. Last resort, called GP surgery this morning, and the receptionist decided that there was no point in talking to GP because he wouldn't prescribe antibiotics without seeing me, and they're not seeing anybody, so I should go to A&E! I give up. If it goes septic, I'll dial 999!

Twig not wig!!

😆

That sounds nasty. What is the matter with doctors if they won't take five minutes to see a patient who is injured, instead putting them at risk and considerable inconvenience and in your case apparently pointlessly? I'm sure you're doing everything you can to keep the wound clean. The human body is amazing so hopefully it will be healing well.

Thanks for your support, I was already thinking it was out of order, and you and PMRpro have strengthened my conviction.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Dontwannabesick

I understand the idea is not to refuse to see ANYONE, it is to triage by telephone and react appropriately, I would make a complaint about the receptionist - because it isn't their place to do the phone triage, should be at least a nurse or paramedic who has had clincal training.

I can see a GP - I can even turn up, as normal, and wait to see her. I don't - I call her to request refills for prescriptions and she sends it all direct to the pharmacy by email, a service which has been extended since Covid but already existed.

Thanks PMRpro, I was already beginning to question in my mind what she had done. At the moment everything seems OK, I dressed the wound and applied Manuka Honey (had some left from vet visit for dog, and still in date). So far so good, temperature of injured leg is same as uninjured leg, and no sign of redness or undue swelling. However I am going to write a letter of complaint to the practice manager, and if I don't get a satisfactory response I may contact Care Quality Commissioners. Thanks to both you and HeronNS for re-enforcing my feelings.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Dontwannabesick

Maybe the vet would be a better bet ;)

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