Mood: Do people think mood affects this illness ? I... - PMRGCAuk

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Emerlad_70 profile image
19 Replies

Do people think mood affects this illness ?

I am very low at the moment

Since October I have had my brilliant son in law and three good friends pass away from cancer and I am finding it very hard to see the lighter side of life. And my pmr is flaring up even though I have upped my preds

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Emerlad_70 profile image
Emerlad_70
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19 Replies
Rose54 profile image
Rose54

Sorry to hear about your loses

I think this illness can make you low for some it brings isolation and at times it appears never ending .

Combined with pain that's two things that cause low mood .

In your case losing so many in a sort time has added stress to your body and it is most likely this that has caused a flare .

Morning Emerlad

I think the combination of the disease itself, it’s limitations & the loss of who you were can impact greatly.

Reading about the loses you have experienced of your Son in Law & your dear friends will affect you greatly as it would have done pre PMR.

You will feel your own condition more l believe as you’ve experienced loss. If l may suggest, have a chat with your GP & see what he/she thinks.

Please keep in touch with us on here, as you will find a good deal of support, which will help you through this time.

Kind Regards

MrsN

Emerlad_70 profile image
Emerlad_70 in reply to

Thank you my pain is not too bad I have upped my preds I just feel absolutely exhausted and weak

in reply to Emerlad_70

I’m pleased the pain is not too bad but the exhaustion & weakness is very hard.

Take Care.

MrsN

SnazzyD profile image
SnazzyD

Hello, there’s so much pressure to rise above everything in life that we sit there blinking in the headlights of grief wondering why we feel ill. It’s a HUGE hit to one’s soul and hence everything else and needs to be treated accordingly. There’s often an assumption that if it isn’t one’s spouse or child it should be shrugged off by getting busy, doing nice things, having a laugh. It’s an individual experience and grief can literally hurt. Give yourself time to process and if you feel you really ‘can’t get enough air to move’ have a chat to your doc.

Soraya_PMR profile image
Soraya_PMR

Mood affects this illness, and this illness affects mood. And that’s without losing four important people in short succession.

Take it easy Emerlad, be kind to yourself x

Sorry about the terrible time your family and friends are having. I would be shocked if you weren't feeling low. Please speak to your GP. You may need to consider bereavement counselling - at least you would have a private place to talk to someone who deals in strategies to deal with such terrible life events. You might even need a little chemical help to get you through this time 🌻

Emerlad_70 profile image
Emerlad_70

Thank you all for your replies my husband is very good and family I worry about my daughter they were married for 32 years she is going to cruise

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer

So sorry to hear about your son in law and friends - it’s is very difficult to cope with so much sorrow in such a short time.

As others have said, bereavement is very stressful, so you may need some help to get you through, so if you do then ask for it!

I appreciate you are worried about your daughter, and rightly so, but she will find her own way through the loss of her husband - and it may not be the same way as you, but she will make it. We all do, we have to.

We all deal with death differently, and you will find your way, it won’t be easy nor quick, but you will.

Take care, and take all the help from others you need.

Marilyn1959 profile image
Marilyn1959

Hi Emerlad_70. What a tough time you are going through. I do think that mood impacts on our condition. Many, including myself, suffered emotional trauma pre diagnosis. In my case I lost my mum. She was 91 so she would be saying 'Well Marilyn, what did you expect!' My body started to fail me immediately after she died and six months later I was diagnosed with PMR.

So, I for one, am convinced emotional trauma would most certainly trigger a flare.

Here's hoping you, your daughter and family find peace soon.

Take care.

Emerlad_70 profile image
Emerlad_70 in reply to Marilyn1959

Yes thanks I know she will be ok eventually loosing two of my sisters proved that to me

But it is so hard seeing her crying all the time and knowing nothing I can do will make it better

She has four brilliant adult children and grandchildren who are a great comfort to her.

pigeonCl-HU profile image
pigeonCl-HU

Dear Emerlad,

A Link between Stress and illness? No doubt. Regardless of what the naysayers say, Stress is an enemy that sabotages just about every organ in our body.

OK, some people don't succumb to stress?

My reply is: yes they do, everyone does, only it is not the same things that affects everyone in the same way.

The fact that our emotions play a crucial role in our wellbeing has been known for years, and here is a quote from a recent study (2019) at the University of Arizona, titled:

"How does grief affect your immune system? "

-----"The highest quality studies suggest that bereaved people demonstrate higher levels of systemic inflammation, maladaptive immune cell gene expression, and lower antibody response to vaccination compared to their non-bereaved peers. Additionally, psychological responses to bereavement, such as depression and grief, appear to influence the association between bereavement and immune function, and we need more research in this area."-----

Dear Emerlad, sadly you are now at the throws of a mean storm. Medications will only mask, but not cure.

The only help would be talking with understanding people, and basically hunker down until the storm passes. I understand that you might think it utterly impossible now and your body rebels.

But I can only draw on my own experience and how I try to cope; I say to myself that after the darkest night, the sun will Shine again.

My thoughts are with you,

pigeon.

Emerlad_70 profile image
Emerlad_70 in reply to pigeonCl-HU

Thank you x

It breaks your heart to see your Children unhappy or sad especially when there is nothing you can do except be there.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador

Mood doesn't affect the illness - the illness affects mood. Stress definitely does affect the immune system - and the autoimmune part of the PMR. Stress can be of all sorts - physical, illness, trauma (as in accidents), environmental, chemical and emotional. And what you have been through is enough to make anyone feel low. On top of all that, you have a more immediate bereavement in the loss you have been through PMR taking away the "you" you have lived with all your life.

Do speak to your doctor and ask for help.

Emerlad_70 profile image
Emerlad_70

Yes that’s so true I use to be a very strong woman I had a responsible job as a senior. Midwife loved my job

If I felt ill I just got on with Iife now at 70 and n having. Pmr I feel Lost and unable to cope

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Grants148 profile image
Grants148

DearbEmerlad,l am so sorry that you have lost so many people who were very dear to you,no wonder you feel so low. PMR does seem to flare up when we have stressful times in our lives ,losing four loved ones in so short a time must be devastating .l hope that life will bring you happier times before too long.Please keep posting,you have friends here who care ,Best Wishes ,Patricia xx.

Emerlad_70 profile image
Emerlad_70 in reply to Grants148

Thank. You x

Blearyeyed profile image
Blearyeyed

So sorry you are going through such a trying time both physically and emotionally.

Hopefully , things will get better soon , at least when we look up from the bottom of the barrel we know the only was is up .

Take care , we are all here for you xx

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