Well, it's another Bank Holiday weekend in Brexit Gripped UK. Make the most of it, Autumn is around the corner. And then Christmas. And then the long-awaited Brexit Verdict next March.
As Private Frazer in BBC’s ‘Dad’s Army’ might say: “AYE, WE’RE ALL DOOOMED..”?
I can picture things here in Old Blighty soon, if a Brexit Deal isn't struck: The UK plunged back into being a Feudal Society, the re-emergence of Rag ‘n’ Bone men on our streets, the singer Max Bygraves making a comeback at age 102 after being Cryogenically preserved in Marmite for the last 20 years, Morris Minor production stepped-up, Tripe & Onions returned to Posh Restaurant Menus, Bobbies on the Beat two by two, and shelving-out for our weekly Nosh-up of Bangers & Mash in Bobs, Tanners and Ha’pennies. A Right Old Do if ever I saw one, and No Mistaking.
Oh, and yes: Emergency Rationing of Preds and 100 yard-long queues of PMR / GCA Sufferers turning Ugly outside GP surgeries. But hang on a minute, aren’t a few GPs implementing their own version of a Post-Brexit strategy already? ‘Gor Blimey Guv, stitched-up like a Kipper’. All I can say is: Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be…
But enough of all that Malarkey. Speaking of ‘Private’, for once I would appreciate your considered input around an impassioned Plea for Help posed to me today in a Private Message from another forum user. Before you say it, I know it’s against the Forum Rules to share the content of other Users’ PMs, or their identity, without their permission. But I feel the need to ask for your opinions about this one. It goes (q):
“Dear Mr Bake-off…
Oh why, oh why, OH WHY?!!!
Any ideas?
Yours surreptitiously
Mrs Trellis, Bangor.
(p.s. must go, the cat’s just been sick after scoffing one of your poncey Souffles)”.
That’s it, Fellow Polymylingerers. As always, it’s good to see You Lot rising to the Challenge of NOT taking me (or yourselves?) too seriously in a healthy Spirit of Defiance. But it does make me wonder: haven’t you got anything better to do? Or have you Lost the Plot completely? Ohh, so many Existential Questions to find answers to...
And, not forgetting our Non-native English speaking PMR GCA Friends here in the UK or Overseas: if you’ve read this far without going crazy trying to make sense of this Codswallop you deserve a Medal. When my Curfew is lifted I’ll put on my Titfer, escape down the Apples and Pears and pop one in the Beans on Toast. But don’t hold your breath..
Sorry, must go now... QUICK.. NURSE! FETCH THE SCREENS!!!
Ohhhhh Nooo, not another Fit of The Vapours…?
Happy Days and try to (..you know the rest..)
‘Uncle’ MB
(smuggled out from the High Security Ward at Benjamin Mansions)
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markbenjamin57
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Thank you again Mark (if that's your real name?) one never knows the real from the fake with you!! Anyway it's always good to read your "codswallop) posts they always put a smile on my face, Keep them coming. Have a good weekend, D
I hate to be the one to put you into a decline (well into more of a decline than normal for a Bank Holiday in Britain) but have you seriously considered the impact on the price of your favourite red once Brexit occurs.
Have you been secretly stashing bottles away since ‘the vote” - is that why Benjamin Mansions had to be increased in size to accommodate the stockpile, and also why WSM is designated as a place likely to submerge under global warming and increase in sea levels?
THAT WHICKER, er, PEDIA thing is FAKE NEWS RUN BY BAAD PEOPLE. JUST LIKE THE MEDIA. I AM NOT A FIGMENT OF ANYONE'S IMAGINASHUN. EXCEPT MY OWN. WELL, MAYBE, MAYBE NOT. IS THAT 1000% CLEAR?
Anyway, what the **** is 'sigar'?!! Are you making-up words again?!! I think I'm the only one who's SANE around here.
Listen ear Benjymarkoss who ever you are. Just because I make the regular speling pistake and pispronounce my vocabularies, it doesn’t mean that you are a premium doller in all things of the writing stuff.
So to corekt things I have doubl cheked all my spoling in this post and it is coreckt.
Incidently that sitar word always confiscates me.
So please exkuse my riting stufff because it must just have been an overuse of the red liquid which coinsidently resulted in a glorious phucup.
Here across the Pond in the Virginia Colony we can parse your Drivel without a Translator-App, thx to Poor-Yorick, (Doc) Martin Chuzzle-to-wit, Liza Do-little, and Vera--we know them well. Not to mention both Tom Joneses and Herman's Hermits. And we have mash and bangers on the 4th of July, sorta. For this day away from Diseases and their Diagnoses, here's a Respite or Two:
Dance to the 2 videos and I swear you will feel young--at least until the aftermath! 🤣 Personally, I like to think I remember doing the jitterbug like Nils and Bianca, but I must have been still playing with dolls then. Do remember going through most of the hairdos in the Chuck Berry tribute! Ah! Nostalgia.
Watching and listening to Chuck Berry made the adrenalin flow, put a smile on my face and made my heart race (well, almost). Wow, what better tonic than THAT!
1 mg pred plus 30 mg hydrocortisone. My weird rheumy's idea of Testing for PMR and Trying to Get Off pred at the same time. Still, I'm Dancing the night away. My father had a 78 rpm of Max Bygraves, along with Perry Como of course.
Well that was all very amusing as usual,thank you Mark,you certainly get our silly brains working overtime,and to think Mikb did’nt know who Max Bygraves was,although l suppose you have to be over a certain age to remember’Tulips fromAmsterdam’ or whatever other silly songs l can no longer recall owing to brain fog.Keep posting Mark,love to Tedski x
Ha, thanks Grants! The Sun's setting in the West now: but it's been a very happy (if busy)day bantering with You Lot. As for Mikb? He's in the US so I can forgive him for not knowing about Max Bygraves...
Kim, 'Cliff Richard' was born and christened Harry Webb. Similarly: 'Elton John', Reginald Dwight. As for 'Mark Benjamin'...? I'll leave you guessing on that one.
OMG you just pressed the panic button! No preds post Brexit - how are we the mostly aged band of pred junkies going to cope? Anyone know of any pred stockpiles we could pillage? Got it - everybody have a flare - or a couple of flares - as they can't prove conclusively whether we have a flare or not we just get lots more of the little white pills - well mine are little white ones, and stash them away for a real flarey day. And the hope the sell by date doesn't expire before normal supply chain is resumed!
I'll nick a rubber dingy from the kiddies' paddling pool at WSM and a few of Us Lot disguise ourselves as Mackerel Fishermen, er, 'people'. We then do a Heist at the main Pred production facility in Geneva, conceal the Loot inside hollowed-out walking sticks, row back across the English Channel (watching out for Cruise Liners), arrive back at WSM in the dead of night and then set-up an illicit supply chain in the UK. We could make Squillions!!
Only thing is: as Mastermind of Operation Pred-Head, I'm on the biggest Cut...
Ok?
(p.s. DON'T TELL THAT LOT or they'll ALL want a slice of the Action...!!)
Just quote the PMRGCA Security Access Password 'Bonk*rs'. That should get you through to Agent Pastit. (Note: this message will be automatically self-destroyed within 2 weeks of sending).
Just tried to compose a witty reply to continue this banter - pressed some button and it's all disappeared into the ether........or are we being watched?
... Dos-vidanya and Gggreeteeings Mamabeagleyovitch! Yezz, it's 'Uzz Lot' from Zee other Side. Yep, vee are Vaaatcheeng you! But Nicely-like. Plz send our bestie regards to that Crayzzee Agent 'MBovitch'. If not, Vee vil, er, do something, er verrry Seelly.
Oh Dear, Carole, I'm so sorry to hear that. Reading ALL of my Posts - and with interest?
I don't want to alarm you but you really should seek urgent help for your distressing problem. The Samaritans might be worth a try? Just give them time to compose themselves after fits of giggling when you explain your plight and mention my name.
You should also arrange for your unfortunate moggie to be taken into Care should your condition deteriorate further.
Oh Dear, Carole, I'm so sorry to hear that. Reading ALL of my Posts - and with interest?
I don't want to alarm you but you really should seek urgent help for your distressing problem. The Samaritans might be worth a try? Just give them time to compose themselves after fits of giggling when you explain your plight and mention my name.
You should also arrange for your unfortunate moggie to be taken into Care should your condition deteriorate further.
MB's Rantings in Mono are painful enough (even for me). But in Stereo AND Video? All I can say is: YES, WE'RE ALL DOOOMED! Honestly, there's No Hope. It makes Brexit look like a walk in the park...
And all is well. She had this beautiful golden Labrador and a cat of her own. And After they had both shiffed me from head to toe she said that the lab report and cat scan were clear!!
Thanks Mark. I needed to laugh after a week worrying whether I shall be able to access my German pension in the event on a no-deal. But look what you've given us to look forward -or is it backward? - to.
All part of the service maria Yep, the Brexit drama does make you wonder what the future holds? But as my old mum Lil Benjamin (RIP) used to say: "It'll all come out in the wash". And strangely enough, she was usually right...
Have you already got it? Or are you still waiting to qualify? At worst I'd imagine you will have to wait until age qualification rather than 42+ years of contributions?
I already receive it monthly from German state and a smaller one from Sweden. But I understand the difficulty after Brexit will be in accessing it due to financial passporting alterations. It's worrying because it forms a substantial part of my income. We were abroad for 25 years so my English pension is very slender. Heigh-ho just a little more stress to hinder recovery!
We have it the other way round - our UK state pensions come here into our account. The German and Italian bits also come directly here so they won't be affected but aren't enough to live on alone. OH's professional pension is paid in Britain - so we will have to access that.
The passporting arrangements aren't fixed yet - but it is a major reason for us to hope they pull their fingers out to get a deal!! There are several million of us in the boat. These countries do pay pensions to persons in third countries as it is called - they will do the same post Brexit and luckily for you, I'd say Germany is a bit more efficient! However - I have no doubt it will cost us
They seem to be running around like dogs chasing their tails and achieving nothing at the moment while so many peoples' lives and livelihoods depend on this and their other decisions. Let's just hope we keep on getting our steroids - the other lifeline!
Steroids shouldn't be too much of a problem - there is a manufacturer in the UK I think and anyway they don't go off quickly. It is insulin, none made in the UK at all and must be kept refrigerated, and radioisotopes which degrade from the moment they are made so if they are delayed they may not arrive in time for a patient's appointment and aren't as strong for cancer therapy. But it could be a mess.
Was talking to someone who voted pro-Brexit and she's fed up with the parties bickering and not getting things done. I withdrew from the conversation as soon as I realized what side she was on, so didn't ask for details. What a horrible mistake ever putting it to a vote. If the UK had legitimate concerns they should have been dealt with inside the Union. Oh well, what's done is done.
What, returning to Ole Blighty? Have you lost it completely? Just make sure you have some pre-Decimal coinage (1971) Pounds, Shillings and Pence ready to pay for your re-patriation voyage to Aus on a rubber dinghy.
And, don't forget to replace your current Passport photo with a Sepia coloured one - just like in the Good Old Days. Oh, and start talking like a proper Cockney Fella. That'll get you through Customs with a Nod and a Wink
Enjoy your stay, despite all the supposed Br**it Uncertainties and prophesies that (q) WE ARE ALL DOOMED. It could be, and often is much worse elsewhere in the world.
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