So I was doing ok over a month ago. Not perfect but ok. Everything has really gone to S**t!
So as part of my symptoms I was dealing with frequent urination bladder pain, with trace blood. That had all begun to settle down. I was sleeping through the night again. The blood in dipstick tests was tiny amount taking ages to show up. I kept injecting then life went wrong.
My best friend a Chocolate labrador named Charlie started to really struggle with his mobility. His health declined. I and my partner didn’t leave his side, for about a month. In the end he couldn’t move and it absolutely broke me. He was put to sleep.
Then two days later we both got Covid. I was so bad I was put on antivirals again. I kept injecting throughout.
Then Rosie my miniature dachshund started screaming whilst on a walk. She screamed when we went to pick her up. Suspected disc injury in her back. She was sent to a specialist hospital in Cambridge we had to drive over an hour there and then back again. The stress and sorrow on leaving her there by herself was awful made doubly worse by the loss of Charlie only a month before. She’s back home now but has to be confined to a crate for over a month and given a whole cocktail of meds and we have to hope she gets better or it will need an operation.
it cost £2.5 k to keep her in a couple of nights. If the operation is needed it can be anywhere from 6-10k. It’s horrible to see those you love suffering.
My partners also due in for an operation and I don’t know how we will cope. Then to compound it all. All night I had to keep peeing again out of the blue. So I dipstick tested for blood and it’s the highest a dipstick test could show.
this at the very least will mean a camera inserted down the penis again (had this 2 years ago) it’s hell on earth with no sedation or pain relief. Obviously I fear cancer but it’s unlikely as it wouldn’t or shouldn’t get better then worse then better etc. I was so sure it was purely b12 related cystitis. Maybe Covid, stress, etc have all exasperated things?
I am clutching at straws and not coping at all. I lost my best friend in the whole world and the grief wells up in me daily. My little doggy girl is seriously ill and god forbid it can lead to paralysis. My partners due in for surgery. And I am peeing blood, a wreck and having to inject every other day for a year….. I just can’t take anymore misery.
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Gobbozoid
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hi Gobbozoid. I’m so sorry to hear about this stuff happening to you it’s not easy to cope with any type of passing, be it human or pet it’s just as painful so my condolences to you both.
I’m just wondering if you’ve been scanned for kidney stones,I have another three in my left kidney and they don’t have cause a lot of blood when I have to pass one, they can really rip your uretha when passing through they can lodge there for a while too before passing it’s a real nightmare, myself and another family member actually make them but I can’t remember the name for that sorry.. I find one of the best things that works for me is putting a wee drop of lemon or lime juice in water and making sure I drink plenty of fluids,your gp can give you meds to help breakdown any stones but the system is not very upfront about the options available think they prefer to see us suffer. Anyway apologies if you’ve already been down that route just thought I’d mention it just in case..best of luck to your little doggy too ,big hug from me take care.
Sadly I had ultrasound etc and nothing. Next is the dreaded penis camera which I had 2 years ago. It just showed my bladder was raw last time. Dreading it again as it’s terrible.
Everything is getting on top of me. I keep really missing my old dog and getting upset over the way he died. Even seeing pics of him or reminders of him are absolutely gut wrenching. My other dog that’s injured is looking very sorry for herself and it’s rubbish seeing her confined.
I’ve had illnesses my whole life and after 45 years I feel like I am losing the will to fight. I was hoping this was more reversing out symptoms as cystitis is listed but worry about the trace blood
Gobbozoid, I can relate to your situation. Of course you are grieving for Charlie. I recently lost my little beautiful girl cat to illness. It was traumatic and I miss her. The stress and upset has shown itself in physical illness, a lot.
I wonder if this prolonged stress , grief and anxiety and worry is showing up (again?) in your physical symptom of pain and blood in your urine.
I send all best wishes to you, your partner and Rosie. Hugs too, xx
Thank u. We work with dogs and have dealt with hundreds if not thousands and Charlie was so bright and clever. He knew over 40 tricks that I taught him including how to drum. I know it sounds cliche n weird but we just instinctively got each other I could get him to do a new trick sometimes on the first try. He was and always will be the best friend I could have asked for and it crushed me having to hold his head up so he could even drink. It’s like a part of me died.
I used to say to him at the end that we’d meet up in the next life if there is one and go for really long walks in the forest just him and I, like we used too. How I feel at the moment he may not have to wait long. Being honest I miss him more than I thought possible. There’s a part of me that feels so fatalistic as it’s just been misery heaped on the back of misery.
I don’t know if I can be so stressed I can make me bleed I googled it and it says no.
Your post said it all. I always had dogs until I was too ill, then cats. I would have given up my life for 1 minute, or even 1 second more with them, for them to live. It is heartbreakingly awful when you lose a soul mate.
Sometimes it's a case of just keeping going until better times come again.
Fish to Google. Just because it is unknown to them. I've had uti's from stress. Excessive rectal bleeding after learning of my brother's death.
How sad. I have been through a similar thing with one of my cats. She had CKD and we spent a lot of time looking after her. I found her dead in front of the woodburner one morning and it was devastating.
My partner keeps getting blood in his urine so I know how worrying it can be. He has had the camera up his penis twice and he agrees with you - it was horrible. They can't find anything and put it down to a large prostate.
Those of us with B12D don't react well to stress and it can play havoc with our bodies. Mentally and physically. When I am stressed my blood sugar shoots up. I also have frequent urination but it gets much worse when I'm stressed. Apparently when the body is stressed, it releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which can affect the bladder and urinary tract. These hormones can make the bladder more sensitive and irritable. Maybe this is causing the blood in your urine?
I found meditation helped. I initally rubbished it but, in the early days of finding out I had PA, I was very anxious so decided to try it. It actually lowered my blood sugar. Maybe you could try it.
Absolutely extreme stress can and does cause urinary problems so with how you are describing things it wouldn't be so surprising!
situation here was UTi’s several times a year for 12 years.had every test going, scans, cytoscopies the lot-nothing found- till yet another bout ended up in hospital-am forever grateful that one doc there said, ‘this is crazy it needs to be sorted out properly’. It had only ever been treated everyt8me with varying antibiotics and then a low dose continual antibiotic.none cleared it up it always returned.The hospital doc decided IV Gentamycin just a few doses and bingo it was cleared up and,not returned in 5 years. It seems it was an infection embedded in the bladder but none of the scans etc had ever showed it up. it was just his gut feeling that it was embedded and he was correct. maybe something to think about if yours is ongoing for long.
So sorry to hear that you are so low. It is just heartbreaking to lose a beloved animal companion when you've had such a strong bond. You have had such a lot of physical and emotional stresses in a short time, and of course that will affect your health, and particularly your most vulnerable areas which for you is the urinary system. Life stresses certainly can and do bring about powerful physical symptoms, whatever Google and our doctors might say to the contrary.If it's possible, can you take some encouragement from the fact that you HAVE seen improvement since starting your B12 injections, and believe that this can resume and continue after this setback? Very hard at the moment I know, but it is very early days for your healing and as so many people have reported it's not linear, and these tough life effects do throw us off track.
I agree with charks that meditation or similar can be very valuable in allowing our powerful thoughts to work for us, rather than against us. And do you have to have the camera right now? Given previous results and your own instincts that cancer wouldn't come and go, could you allow your body a little time to settle and take away the fear of that procedure?
Any one of the things you've experienced recently is enough to set your progress back. Also remember that our deficiency has profound negative effects on our thought processes - before diagnosis I never felt so low, with thoughts of death being very close and in fact a release. 9 months into injections I am shocked when I reflect back on that. Of course your grief is completely natural right now, but when things don't lift or seem so severe, I try to remember it's my deficiency, not me, generating those extreme negative feelings.
Just injected and cried right afterwards. There’s times it seems pointless as I am injecting to stop this urination issue and yet here I am peeing all the time.
I went and was speaking to a picture of Charlie the dog I lost recently and said I can’t keep letting my grief affect my health and vowed not to let it get time. Yet a few hours later I well up with tears.
I could put off the camera but not for long as the dr will chase it. I suppose I worry about what is wrong with me. If it is was reversing out why would it cause bleeding. Previously I could understand as I was peeing every second and that level of overuse fair enough. Presently I am peeing every 20-30 mins. The b12 seemed to have helped previously there’s defo a link but not sure what. All this started for me post Covid and I’ve just had another bout of it. I kept injecting regardless this time. I just hope like last time it doesn’t take 3 years and then b12 to settle. It’s exhausting.
I’m sorry for moaning. I hate hearing myself complain. It’s just overwhelmingly awful at the moment. This is my only real outlet. Friends don’t get it.
Friends often don't get it, even well meaning ones. People here DO get it. Many of us have been at a real low. I think injecting can bring up feelings of sadness at our situation, but it's also literally lifesaving. You have been doing so much better on regular injections so you DO know it's having a beneficial effect on your bladder issues, but it seems as though an infection - especially Covid - just burns through all the B12 and co-factors, so you may need to inject more frequently for a while if that's possible? On its own that would be enough of a setback on your path to recovery, but add in the emotional trauma you are experiencing and it must seem like you're back to square one. But you're not! You have the tools to keep improving, despite this current horrible blip.
Are there any animal bereavement groups you could speak with to share your sadness? They would understand your loss.
There may be such groups but I’m not sure what I’d get out of it. I guess misery loves company as the old saying goes. I trained as a counsellor and worked at Mind for a bit. Had counselling myself at the time. Other than having an outpouring of grief I am not sure what I’d get out of it.
I hope you’re right and this is still all b12 related. I can’t bare to keep going through this. The day before I had to drive over an hour to get Rosie and bring her back. I was fine. Now I cannot got 20 mins. So shocking how suddenly these episodes come on.
I do really appreciate the group and your talking to me. Or talking me down as I feel v desperate at times. I just hope our luck changes
maybe try some Dmannose you can google and buy online lots of people have great success with that, my bleeding was nothing to do with the stones or bladder last time it was menopausal issues atrophy and a barthlomew cyst which is pretty common in females but I do know lots of gents try the Dmannose for urinary problems it’s quite pleasant to drink.
Your saying how desperate your feeling and that’s why your better off here because we have all been there and know that feeling and also know that it’s a temporary desperation and something that given time will ease for you, have you seen your gp to maybe get some temporary help to get a decent sleep and stop your mind racing?
Everyone will be concerned for you here and that’s why we try and make suggestions to help you wind back down,sometimes it’s just nice to know other people understand ,as you already know if you’ve been involved in counselling ,so try and take the help that’s there,the pain will dilute in time it’s the memories you want to cherish so don’t let the pain stop you from doing that.
I did a lot of animal rescue work abroad and my rescues are still with me back in the U.K. 17 years laterand ageing well,I lost my best wee buddy when she was 16 ,5 years ago and the pain is indescribable my grandchildren all wept buckets and we consoled each other but as they’ve gotten older they don’t cry any more they just speak of her with happy memories of her antics.Best of luck
OMG! That is such alot of sadness aand sickness for you an your partner, I am sendin you both hus and love from NZ. I understand the incredible sadness experienced when you loose a beloved dog and friend, I also went through this with my dog Tash after 14 yrs. And now your other little one. I found it really impacted on my PA symptoms too which made thins so much harder. I am seeing you all getting to the other side of all of this and havin happier days again. Have more B12 it will help xxx
To be honest all they do is rule out cancer and send me on my way. If it was that why does b12 help? I suffered non stop for 3-4 years no let up. Then b12 injections stopped it. But it seems to keep coming back now. Seemingly when stressed or low.
As far as I understand it if you are in stress mode, high cortisol, it stops your body from being in healing mode. Walkies! You are missing your exercise along with your best pal.
With everything that's going on, I'll guess you are grabbing comfort food on the run too. Sugar is very inflammatory and booze is sugar that stresses the body even more processing it.
Find your favourite antioxidant tea. Slow down and breathe deeply.
I am so sorry to hear about all the grief you have had with your fur babies. My dad had bladder cancer. They managed to keep it at bay for many years. If you have it too, it is better to find out sooner rather than later as the treatments are more likely to be effective. Very best wishes!
Well they looked a year or so ago and nothing. This time I’ve had everything like ultrasound etc showing nothing. It’s weird as I suffered non stop until b12 but now I seem to get bad periodically.
I do worry about cancer. But my gp said my symptoms would be continuous and not come and go as they seem to do.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You have been through so much lately. I’m not sure of your beliefs, but I find that God gives me peace when I am low. I hope He will give you peace and hope. Also that your partners surgery goes well.
It sounds like you could have IC- bladder pain syndrome. I have this too. When I am stressed it flares it up. I suffer with low B12 and IC and I know how difficult it can be. I am working on treating both and hopeful I’ll be well again.
I found this info on IC the other day and it seems quite helpful.
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high levels of B12 in blood
Fewer Injections, more injections or stay the course? Please advise.
Terrified 
