I wonder if others on this forum have a similar problem and can help.
My MIL is 91 and has some symptoms of B12D, Which could be put down to 'old age' but I'm beginning to wonder if a lot of 'old age' is really B12D.
We have repeatedly told her about the importance of B12 and how many older people have a deficiency. Despite buying her pills she isn't taking them. It doesn't help that her other son ( she thinks the sun shines out his a****) tells her that we are talking rubbish and she doesn't need them .
Today she was complaining that she has started to misspell. She knows that a word is wrong but she just can't remember how it should be spelt. I told her that I had a similar problem when I had low levels of B12 but it just goes over her head.
We can't understand why she won't take B12. It's only one little pill a day. Any advice on how to persuade to her to take them would be welcome.
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charks
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You are absolutely right about many old people lacking in Vitamin B12 , because it is a known fact that as we grow older we produce less stomach acid . Stomach acid is needed to help break down food and prepare it for being absorbed. B12 is especially difficult to absorb . We all know what it’s like to have B12 deficiency l We also know that B12 cannot be overdosed. …
Lots of older people hate taking pills . , and I can understand that . I think she might well be prepared to use a B12 mouth spray , B12 drops Or one of those very small B12 sub-lingual lozenges , which dissolve in the mouth - no swallowing . ( all obtainable on Amazon .)
Show your mother in law and her son an article about older people producing less stomach acid, which leads to B12 deficiency, and all which that entails . Just Google and you will find one .
We have tried to get them to read articles on B12. The problem is that they aren't readers. My MIL doesn't have a single book in the house. She just watches TV. The complete opposite of mine who wouldn't have a TV and read all day long.
Another problem is that the other son's partner heard how B12 made my sight much better. Without consulting me she tried B12 expecting it to do the same for her. When it didn't she told my MIL that taking it was a waste of time.
You are up against wilful ignorance I'm afraid. Nothing you can do about that. Leave them to it. Don't get yourself stressed.
I can't imagine not having a book in the house! I instantly disliked this woman when I read that 😆. I have a house full of books but we don't own a single TV. Never have.
I'm sorry to say I feel the same way about my MIL. Years ago ( 47 years) when I first start living with my partner we decided not to have a TV as we thought they were conversation killers. We lasted until the world cup!!!
Could you persuade her to see a doctor? If GP not sympathetic towards B12 or PA, then a private one. It might not just be age, acid, or diet, but malabsorption or PA.
Her GP is useless. She complained that she was really unsteady on her feet and he just told her it was old age and nothing could be done. She is of that age group who totally believe what their doctor tells them.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink! My MIL had diagnosed severe folate deficiency - she had awful psychiatric and physical symptoms - but refused to take the pills and our nagging her to take them (when the rest of her ignorant family told her a vitamin can’t make you that ill- she must be mentally ill - and to take antidepressants) caused such a huge bust up that now we now longer see or speak to her as she was so vile. You are kind to try to help but you might have to let it go. Sadly they can’t think straight and don’t want any advice. Their choice.
If she prefers to watch TV rather than read, perhaps the Sally Pacholok movie might be a better way to go. My PA had a massive effect on my love of reading for years and only recently have I been able to tackle a whole book.
Sometimes we look at the thing we are most familiar with and blame it for everything. A life-long avid reader I suddenly couldn't concentrate on a book at all. I went for a period of a few years not reading more than a few short articles about hypothyroidism, which I also have.
The thing that got me back reading again was HRT. Low oestrogen literally dulled my brain to mush. Have you got that area covered? If not, it's worth trying it to see if that might help you.
Still improving, though ! Noticeably- although seems slow to you probably.
I can tell when I'm having a bit of a bad day. It takes a really long time to untangle the words I'm typing here: right letters, completely the wrong order. Like my fingers trying to outpace my irritatingly slow brain.
Even with TV, I look forward to watching something good, only to find that, by the time it comes on, I can't concentrate that hard for that length of time and need to find an excuse not to stay on the sofa. Like watching sport - sometimes, I end up more exhausted than the athletes. Football or rugby especially depleting - let's hope today's 6 Nations worth the effort !
I've always been an avid reader but have gotten so ill I can't any more and can only manage audiobooks. I'd love to hear Old Rage but there's no audio in my library's catalogue 😢 Don't want to pay for Audible.
Be naughty! Look for foods she likes and see if you can sneak in B12 - ie a cake and pop the B12 in the icing. Got to confess I have had to resort to similar tactics! Or get a B12 complex and a few drops in a favourite tipple? She’s doing well at 91 so she is a wily old fox! 🦊 you need to quietly outwit! Best of luck and remember you can only try and care!
Im sure no offence has been taken -I certainly havent but just wanted to give my tuppence worth. It's a dodgy path to take but Im sure it was not a completely serious suggestion however tempting!😄
Ha ha!! Yes if only life was so easy! The B12 drops and powder are a lurid yellow! Does she like liver? Most people that age love liver a perhaps liver pate? Oh the joys of family and loved ones!
I wouldn't give up trying. It's very easy for anyone to attribute B12 problems to something else. Giving up on her now might cause more problems for you in the long run if you stop trying on her behalf because you're probably right, and they all just don't know it.
If your MIL is starting to struggle cognitively, might be worth her considering making a Power of Attorney. There are two types, one for health matters and one for financial matters.
If you search online for "Sally Pacholok slide show anti-ageing conference" it should show a link to a presentation Sally Pacholok, author of Could it Be b12? book, gave some years ago.
What about a food hamper with B12 rich foods?
Wwwdot mentioned liver pate.
I found some ideas when I searched for "B12 foods" and "foods fortified with B12".
I thought wedgewood 's suggestion of a b12 spray or sublingual tablets was a good one.
There are stories on Tracy Witty's blog and PAS website about elderly people with B12 deficiency. Maybe someone could read one of the shorter ones to her.
NHS link about B12 deficiency - Causes section says
"Both vitamin B12 deficiency and folate deficiency are more common in older people, affecting around 1 in 10 people aged 75 or over and 1 in 20 people aged 65 to 74."
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