How do I know I can care for a baby?

[JDorian0817]

I am absolutely 100% ready, in my mind, to start making plans for pregnancy and motherhood. My partner used to feel the same way, although he has now started sharing concerns about my energy levels.

We would look at getting pregnant in about 15 months time, so nothing is happening yet and how I feel now with fatigue isn't necessarily how I will feel then. I have been diagnosed with PA for two years, I am also on daily medication for anxiety/depression. All my symptoms apart from fatigue are fully managed so long as I keep up my B12 shots and take my meds.

My partner is concerned that because I am so tired in normal life I won't be able to care for a baby properly. I feel that a baby is a reason to get up and do things, whereas at the moment I have no motivation to fight the fatigue.

In my mind, 15 months is a good amount of time to be more motivated and show him I can look after a family. But how does someone even begin to do that? And I am very tired... I understand his concerns about parenthood being challenging enough without chronic fatigue making things harder - but that doesn't change that I want to be a mother!

How have you managed your PA symptoms with additional life stressors and challenges? Did you find that caring for a baby meant you did the right things despite being tired all the time? Is there more I should be able to do while on B12 jabs?

For info: We both work full time as teachers. I changed my job a few months back and now teach solely from home at an online school. This has helped my energy levels massively (evening were a right off before whereas now I can cook dinner and clean the kitchen after work with no worries) but my fatigue isn't entirely gone. It's not really a physical fatigue, it's more mental. I typically have to nap on weekends.

[wedgewood]

You don’t mention how often you get B12 injections . We all need different regularity of injections . I need weekly , I know people who need daily . every 10 days , monthly , 2 monthly and 3 monthly injections to keep well . Maybe more regular injections would be the answer ?

[JDorian0817 in reply to wedgewood]

My old doctor (village surgery) where I was diagnosed welcomed me for injections whenever I needed them. Typically every 8-10 weeks I would be in there desperately needing one. I've since moved and am now part of a town wide practice (partnership of three different practice locations) and it is challenging to even get through to the receptionist let alone get an appointment! I'm having injections every 10-12 weeks but am practically crawling by that point.

[wedgewood in reply to JDorian0817]

You must try to get more regular injections from your surgery . Other wise self-injections are called for. They are cheap and easy . I can give you help on getting all requirements if you so wish . You could then , by trial and error find out how often you need to inject in order to keep those symptoms at bay. That what I had to do ,and it changed my life. Any how you know already how soon the exhaustion starts to return after an injection . So you need to inject before that time .

[JDorian0817 in reply to wedgewood]

Self-injecting is not something I can see myself being able to do. I have quite the needle aversion: I can be stabbed so long as I don't see it, but that's not really an option if I'm doing it myself! But I have heard amazing changes in people's symptoms when self-injecting.

Could you give me the information I need so I can at least look into it please?

I'll also call my doctor this morning and insist on speaking to an MD instead of letting the receptionist fob me off. Thank you!

[wedgewood in reply to JDorian0817]

There is a device called an Auto-Injector , costing about £100.00 . Available from a Danish company — unionmedico.com Have a look at it .You could ask members on this forum about it — Ive never used one .

Also being needle phobic , you can inject B12 by sub-cutaneous method ,which means you use a shorter, finer needle ( 30G x 1/2 inch which is not so daunting as an Intra-muscular needle ( 25 G x 1 inch )

Sub -cut is a successful method of injecting B12

Your partner might be willing to inject you .

[JDorian0817 in reply to wedgewood]

This is amazing. Thank you so much. I'm also about to read your DM.

[JanD236]

My first thought is that your symptoms aren’t being managed bearing in mind fatigue is a major symptom!

If you are still on a three monthly injection regime I would first of all suggest that you approach your GP to request two monthly injections to see if this improves matters.

When first diagnosed with PA I had an eight-year-old and three teenagers, was going through divorce and worked as a personal trainer. My day was over as far as energy levels were concerned when I got home at 3 pm which is obviously a huge problem as that’s when it all started with the children. A request for a lift somewhere could reduce me to tears as I was so exhausted.

It took me 18 months to 2 years to find the injection regime that suited me and gave me my life back. This has meant self injecting as what was offered by the NHS was not sufficient for me.

So I’d say try 2 monthly injections and if that helps but not enough try more frequent injections. My GP allows monthly injections but that’s fairly rare and you may have to consider self injection.

Just another thought, have you had your thyroid levels checked?

[JDorian0817 in reply to JanD236]

People without PA and fatigue would have struggled with your life, let alone someone undiagnosed!! I am amazed at how you got through and managed that.

I'm at every 2.5-3 months at the moment and shall ask to up the frequency. I only had a jab about three weeks ago though and am already feeling fatigue start in. Self-injecting is not something I can see myself being able to do. I have quite the needle aversion: I can be stabbed so long as I don't see it, but that's not really an option if I'm doing it myself!

Are there other ways of absorbing B12 into the blood stream? I have the mouth spray from Holland&Barratts but I can't say it makes a difference to my energy levels.

[JDorian0817 in reply to JanD236]

I may have had my thyroid levels checked when the PA blood test was done initially but I cannot say for sure. How would they be impacting my health?

[JanD236 in reply to JDorian0817]

Have a look at the nhs website for symptoms of underactive thyroid, tiredness is the number 1 listed symptom. Autoimmune illnesses often don’t come alone. For example, I have Graves disease (overactive thyroid), vitiligo and PA.

However, it does seem possible that you need more frequent injections. I now si twice a week and whilst it probably gives me my least favourite few minutes of the day that’s all it is in exchange for a full life!

Just to mention that when I’ve lined up my injection ready to go I don’t think I look at the needle actually going in. I go oh so slowly which minimises any feeling.

Whilst I don’t like doing it I’m very grateful to have an illness that is minimised by a twice a week injection. There must be very many ill people who would give anything for that.

[JDorian0817 in reply to JanD236]

I've asked for a consult with the doctor and will mention investigating my thyroid too. Thank you for the suggestion!

Do you use an auto-injector or do you do it with just a normal syringe?

[JanD236 in reply to JDorian0817]

Normal syringe with a purple needle which is slightly shorter and finer than the blue one that my GP uses.

[Nackapan]

You can overthink it . It's never what you imagine.

Have you got family support.

A good network of friends.

Would you need to do paid work ?

Knowing your condition before a pregnancy is a good head start.

Pregnancy affects us all differently .

Yes being a mother is exhausting but also very rewarding.

B12 naturally depleted after birth.

But knowing is half the battle.

If you get yourself in the best shape possible that's all most can do.

School working hours a bonus as is paternal leave now

I wish you well

[JDorian0817 in reply to Nackapan]

Hi, thanks so much for this. I do have a good support network as my partner's family lives close by and his mother will be retired by the time I plan on having a baby. Since my partner works 8-3 during term time only he will also be able to support. I work 8.30-5.30 and do not get school holidays off anymore, but since I work from home I will be able to contribute more than if I had a 'normal' job.

Thanks again for taking the time.

[Eloise81 in reply to JDorian0817]

I would also consider getting your folate levels checked as B12 needs it to work properly & low folate seems to be the one which affects low mood etc. Good luck!