Is it attitude or plain nutso?:)http://sukas-myworld.blogspot.com/2011/07/is-it-attitude-or-plain-nutso.html

[SuKas]

Hmmm sometimes I seriousy wonder if I have lost my marbles, hmmm not the glittery, made of glass variety, but the ones that you know, try to keep all the things together in ur head? Huh...Well Parkinson's atleast made me realise one thing..... what u may ask...the fact that I do have a brain duh Honest to god, I do....how do I know...well they injected me with a radioactive dye...so that once they had my head under this huge machine...also known as the Fdopa scan....(as I lay there I was thinking...hmm does FDopa mean a short form for "u r a f@#$%^ dope?" That made me grin, inspite of my nerves jangling away and th emachine clicked away pics of my brains or what is there of it...

I mean I know I am taking the statement "I love to have my pics taken" to the extreme eh...having full color pics of my brains jeez....worried that the secret will be out that all that is in there is a huge pile of sawdust..oops.. Well they had the instant printing kinda thing which told me in colorful detail that my "Dopamine" cells are vanishing at a rapid pace....

As I have since realised that those cells that are doing the vanishing act, which i think is pretty rude, if u ask me, I mean who gave them the permission to go away, I did not...i realised that certain paarts of my body also decided to go haywire...i mean jeez bad enuf that those cells go awol then they have the temerity to discuss with my other body parts, all without my permission, mind you, and they all decide to mess around with me...

Suddenly my legs decide do do a jitterbug dance and here I go tapping my leg, like crazy, or they decide to be lazy and decide to go numb on me and leave me literally having an intimate tete-a-tete with my carpet, which kinda helps sometimes I guess, as I found a missing button, a missing earring back, and a pill....not a fun idea crawling on my knees as my feet decide not to work...

Or when i have a nice hot cup of coffee in my hand and my hand decides to do a jerking dance...hey I am all about movement and dance and there goes slosh....the coffee...phew atleast it decided to do it away from my body...or the cells decide to have a one on one with my eyes and they decide to shut down...

I am telling you these brain cells once they start boycotting they take their job seriously....believe me I know...so I decided to try and outsmart them huh....after all who the heck they think they are dealing with? So if my legs do nogt work, I use my hands to crawl and get where I want, if my hands decide to then i use teh other...i guess teh problem wil arise when tehy al decide to go on strike al together....what then....well no worries, I have my thinking cap on...my mind is a racing with racy thoughts...am sure I will come up with sumthing by then..not sure if this is attitude or plain nutso....but hey it is me....love me and laugh with me or heck stay along with me for the bumpety bump ride...it promises to be an interesting one to say the very least:)))

[Hidden]

Hi, I just had one of those scans yesterday Friday, i was thinking all what you have just said,

spooky

regards

Al

[SuKas in reply to Hidden]

Hi

I remember being so hopeful, nervous,scared, defiant and when i saw this machine that wud fortell my future was very very antsy...in the end they did say my cells are dying....hmm so does it make me empty headed Al, all the very best and yes keep smiling

[donnaj]

I love this comment its so true

I have had one of these scans and was told my brain was abnormal - whats normal I ask !!!!!

[SuKas in reply to donnaj]

Duh seriously, what is normal:)) rude of the cells to die in the first place....but beneath all the humor, is fear...but what the heck can we do....but stumble along...my two beautiful boys 12 n 9 years r my reaon t go on...cheers

[Susie01 in reply to SuKas]

Oh, how many times I have chosen to crawl rather than fall! My worst episode came before a much delayed diagosis. Visual hallucinations, my whole body shaking, not being able to stand, vomiting if I turned my head from one side to the other, freezing and then my body throwing itself forward and onto the floor, my left arm totally spastic...

By this time I knew what was wrong even if the doctors I had seen to that point did not! I considered the number of pills I had and wondered what it would take to end it all, but I could not. I have a 16 yr old daughter and an 18 yr. old son who are my world and I could not imagine leaving them.

[SuKas in reply to Susie01]

yes susie i hear u....many a times i have to crawl and i will if i have to..I have had similar issue where it took a while for the diagnosis to the point where it was a relief to get one....and I have had thots of ending my life too several times...but I go on for my babies...Hang in there....

[jillannf6]

i have PSPa nd have not been offered such a scan other than an MRIi scanway b4 diagnosis (12 months now)

but it makes no difference really - u r a person and a good blogger for PD

JILL

[SuKas in reply to jillannf6]

Jill

Thank u so much Writing helps me deal with it....i also do video blogs but havea not done one in a while...all the very best Cheers

[merlethegirl]

I pray for alzsheimers, I don't want to remember what I missed, if that makes sense. I'm tired so much of the time that I don't have a life anyway. I try my best to fill my days but it gets boring. People worry about me going for a walk and now it's in the 20's out...soon will be below 0 but I'll still go walking. i have my ski pants and subzero jacket and most of all my MadDog cap. My walking partner, my dog, Sammie is always at my side. I might end up a popsicle but that's my choice...no one seems to want to ever go with me so to hell with them trying to control me. The town is one sq mile. Whooopeeee! I really can get lost here! The way people peep out of their windows at anything moving in the is the latest news, the phone would be ringing in a minutes time that I was down

[SuKas in reply to merlethegirl]

ohhhh don't say that...best is not to have any problem...fatigue gets to me too, also not being able to do all the things I want to do....Winters are depressing for me too...I am on the internet a lot try to keep my mind busy with minimal physical effort...yea sumtimes ppl do not understand ho terrifying it is to lose ur independence....hang in there...cheers

[merlethegirl]

I'm in the fight all the way, my mind is alert and I exercise. Stretching, balance, and walking. I'm just so very tired.! I take a sleeping pill but that isn't working anymore, no soda's or coffee, that doesn't help either. You'd think with being tired and the exercise I'd crash! Any ideas?

[SuKas in reply to merlethegirl]

Sleep is so important yet so elusive isn't it....I have discovered that a particular pattern works for me...for that I have to get into bed after my meds by 7.30 pm at the very latest...then if I am lucky, I sleep till about 3 or 3.30am then I have to take my first dosage...at 4 am...my thyroid meds...yup have thyroid too....lucky me to answer ur question idk...maybe some relaxing music...deep calming thots...i kno i kno.....

[merlethegirl]

I tried books on tape. Their soothing voices put me to sleep sometimes. Othertimes a sexy scene is narrated and that wakes me up and I don't have a partner so I try to avoid those books. At the moment my tape player died. Boo Hoo ! A new one is on the way. Thank God ofr the internet because I would have to drive 40 miles to buy a new one! and I don't drive much these days.

I'm going to bed..wish me a good nites sleep. Hope you have one too!

[SuKas in reply to merlethegirl]

lolz i can imagine the sexy scenes being a deterrent to sleep

i have a video blog and no no sexy scenes there Just me talking on the cam....

youtube.com/user/creatvprod...

i had a disturbed night last night...toes curling...my right shoulder aand arm freezing...hope urs was better